Author: Hoss

Embed from Getty Images    Doth birdsong sound sweeter? Doth thy sun sit more gently on thy cheek? Doth the wind embrace you warmly like an old friend? Shit-yeah it does. Their is pride & steel back in the gold jersey. Hoop’s best ever as captain, stars from 1-23 and the tantalising promise of of better days ahead. But as the Pom’s say ‘Boris is a dickhead toff’  ‘it’s the hope that kill’s you’…… Sorry for no cover picture, but the platform we use for creating this crap stuff has gremlins in it – so no cover picture today -…

‘Cadbury Flakes Crumble’. Morning GAGR’s. By the time you read this I will be dead! Well brain-dead anyhow, I will have arrived in the land free of dentist’s, coincidentally also the world capital for unsolved homicides & banjo shops per capita, Brisbane in the Queensland Peoples Republic of Queensland (QPRQ) to ‘enjoy’ the decider v The Frogs on Saturday night. This week I take a look at our second test player ratings, your Wallaby XXIII for Brisbane, I respond as a ‘fickle’ supporter and look into the deep dark recesses of the known rugby universe for the Platinum Edition of ‘Friday’s Fast…

It’s the morning after the mourning after and time for reflections, player ratings, the French’s Benny Hill impersonation & your ‘Fast 5 Bonus’ plus the usual dose of complete and utter Friday gibberish – enjoy, or not.  Wallabies. (Apologies to the Swedish super group – the three ‘plain’ looking ones and the smoking hot blonde, Bjorn I think it is?) My, my To the Wallabies, the Tadpoles did surrenderOh, yeah And I bet Dave Rennie nearly walked away With no trophies on the shelf us fans are shitting ourselves Wallabies You should be defeated, but won the warWallabies Were trying to love you forever more Wallabies Why is it you always…

Afternoon learned. The polls have closed and the results are in. 59 wise & true GAGR faithful contributed to the poll, my thanks for your contributions – and YOUR Wallaby XXIII is listed below. Having gone through each respondents team may I suggest seven of you urgently seek psychological assistance and a further eleven nameless GAGR’s  (Yowie) owe me a written apology – yikes.  Your GAGR Wallaby XXIII Starting XV 1. James Slipper 34 votes (57.60%) 2. Brandon Paenga-Amosa 42 (71.20%) 3. Taniela Toupou 43 votes (72.90%) 4. Mat Philip 48 votes (81.40%) 5. Lukhan Salakaio-Loto 46 votes (78.00%) 6. Rob Valetini…

Dead Men Walking Everywhere? Welcome to Friday GAGR’s! This week, the Tah’s hook their second choice, Moses looks at hiring mercenaries for the Northern Tour, you get to play Wallaby selector (twice) and time to extract the urine in ‘Friday’s Fast 5’. So sit back, relax (we’re all in lockdown anyway), let the worries of the world seep away & let all ‘facts’ be damned. Here we go……….. Tahs Future Ex-Coach. The man who isn’t Simon Cron, Mr Darren Coleman, has been appointed to the ‘plum’ role of Head Coach of God’s chosen ones – the NSW Waratahs, for a period of…

Merci christ c’est fini ! A decided gallic feel to todays news and the collective relief of Oz Rugby fans now TT has officially ended for our sides and especially Tahs fans, well, those 6 of us left anyway. Sans Tasman. Saturday 19 June – Eden Park – Auckland. AEST 5.05pm Mercifully, the Australian sides have finished their role in the Trans-Tasman competition as little more than competition ‘whetstones’. Our sides only use seemed to be for sharpening the attacking axes that are the Kiwi sides. The competition reaches it’s crescendo this Saturday across the dutch with barley a whimper from our…

Are you not entertained? Well, you should be! With the Wallaby squad to face the jittery Frogs announced Sunday, Aussie teams to play spoilers this weekend to grand Kiwi plans,  next years comps to be ratified and a whole heap more, there is never to much rugby to discuss. One overlooked fact from last weeks round, one truth every Oz Rugby fan can hold to be self-evident, that we doubled our win ratio v their sides last week. That’s right, we are now at 10% win ratio in TT. Who’s laughing now NZ. Yeah baby! ‘Post-Penultimate’ – Round #5 TT With the Trans-Tasman competition seemingly…

‘We’re not gonna take it’ Week #4 of SRTT rolls around and it’s high time Aussie sides, to a man, stopped the shite, stood up and said ‘we’re not gonna take it’ [one_half last = “no”] Stay Hungry! Are we, as a proud rugby nation, going to be pushed around, bullied, subjugated and ridiculed by those from some poxy little rocky outcrops? I mean for god’s sake, their nation resembles pimples on the arse of the Pacific! Is that to be our lot? That this ‘smear’ on the undies of the globe are to continue to be be our rugby overlords? Well…

‘But deliver us from Kiwi’s, Amen’ Time to change tack. This week I make no fearless predictions, other than to expect Oz sides receive a 5-0 drubbing at the hands of the mutton-molesters. At least if I am wrong, as I may have possibly been in the past, I will ‘own’ the mistake and much like the discovery of one last frozen pie, way up the back of the freezer, it will be a welcome and pleasant surprise worth devouring. [one_half last=”no”] The Forward’s Prayer ‘Our saviour, who aint our seven, hollowed be our game. The Kiwi’s come, their will gets done,…

Records are meant to be broken. Having sat through the 5 x TT round #2 games and with this a match review of the Tahs v Blues game, it’s actually hard to know how I feel about it all? Should this just be a simple match review that ‘X’ player scored a try here, ‘Y’ player did something else there, culminating in a 48 – 21 thumping? That a crowd of ‘ABC’ witnessed a game played out at Eden park and blahdy – blah – blah. Or do I reference that round #2 saw the Kiwis beat all Oz sides…

Fearless or Fearful Predictions – TT Round 2 I was nearly right last week when I tipped two Oz wins. But ‘nearly right’ is akin to Liberal Party ‘spin’ for actually being completely and utterly wrong. That hasn’t dulled my intrepid sense of optimism and complete avoidance of all evidence to the contrary though and I’ve gone all in on three ‘W’s’ for Oz side this week. We have lulled the forces of middle-earth into a false sense of rugby superiority and have them right where we wanted them – fresh for the picking this weekend, well, mostly……… Before we…

‘We’re gonna get it on, cause we don’t get along!’ Trans-Tasman preview The wait is over !! It seems like only yesterday Australian Rugby was ‘invited’ to tender for 2-3 teams to play in a NZ based competition. No doubt a genuine & heartfelt offer akin to that of the Chinese Communist Party offer to the Uyghur population to attend ‘weekend re-education camps’ & karaoke carnival. History will show however that Rugby Oz said ‘up yours’ and here we are 12 months later with a fully fledged TT competition set to kick-off today. The refreshments are cold, the snacks are…

Just when you thought it was safe to go back online……. Welcome to the first of my Friday Rugby News offerings for GAGR. My apologies for the delay as some finer IT points were sorted. Thank you to Sully and the GAGR team for the opportunity and for confirming appropriate legal / indemnity cover is in place for all. I’ve fed on the efforts of others for so long I thought it only apt I put my shoulder to the wheel for a change, so let’s hook in. After a couple of big weeks for Rugby Oz – secret loans…