G’day & welcome to Friday! And what a Friday it is with wall-to-wall rugby news from around the globe.
Today let’s look at a couple of Kiwi players trying to help Kiwis escape the fact that they’re, well, Kiwis and the fallacy that are ‘Role Models‘. Uncle Joe Biden stops by to cast an eye over Oz Rugby in the State of the Union. Yoda takes a look at a crackdown on a scar on our game and the Brumbies only try scoring method, the Rolling Maul. Check in on SRP #8 teams, tips, coverage and fearless predictions and bring it all home with the Friday Goss with Hoss – much like my size 52 trousers after lock-down, bursting at the seams.
BOOZE BROTHERS?
The origins of this story lie across the dutch with a storm in a middy brewing in UnZed. It would appear current ABs players, Anton Leonard Brown and Bon Jovi wannabe and serial red card offender, Damian Mackenzie, among others, are in the sights of NZ authorities. You can read more here from nzherald.co.nz and the ‘stain‘ on these players’ careers.
Long story short: the two AB players are part of a group of co-owners/founders of an alcohol brand called ‘Grins’ that ‘seemingly‘ target younger people via social media promotions, hence causing unrest in certain NZ quarters. On the surface this seems like young men investing in a start-up, perhaps with a view to life after rugby. OK, alcohol and its promotion are serious subjects worthy of debate and legislation. But what if you and I (well you front the money and I run it) were the founders, would it warrant any media coverage, naval gazing or angst? Why is the fact that it’s two rugby players matter at all? Naturally, this lead me to thunkin’ about ‘role models’ and IMO, the complete fallacy of the concept.
Look, I understand people need an escape, a distraction and something or someone to aspire to, like you lot who join in here every Friday. And to be sure, I am flattered, but doesn’t living vicariously through others inevitably lead to the slippery dip of disappointment and disdain?
In this case, when will we, or can we, accept that young athletes are just that – young athletes. The very thing that makes them excel at their sport, their youth, commitment to their sport, sacrifices to stay physically ready to excel in their chosen fields, is the EXACT same ingredient that prevents, in most cases, their wider personal development and the ‘getting of wisdom’ that only a life lived, mistakes made and the passing of time will enhance?
And I apply the same ‘lens’ over the wider ‘role model’ universe. Personally, I marvel at people’s feats, talents, commitments to their chosen fields of industry, music, arts, science, sports, charity or community service, but to look ‘up’ to people as role models? No thanks. That to me is just abdicating personal responsibility.
So piss me a muddy of Grunz and chuzz chully bro.
State of the Union
For those who missed a great read from Charlie Mac on Monday’s GAGR, I found myself feeling dirty and abused, for the first time in my adult life, I found I agreed with a referee & it was confronting! Whisky Tango Foxtrot is wrong with the quality of rugby in Oz at present?
It will shock many on here that I marginally lean towards the Tahs in Oz fixtures. BUT, I genuinely have a love for Oz Rugby in general, well, except Western Australia who I’d happily sell off to China. Nobody goes there anyway. They had more interstate visitors during lockdown then they have since the borders ‘reopened’. Even Tim Sampson wants out!
So with that said, for the love of Webb-Ellis, the standard of Aussie Rugby this year is simply diabolical. The handling, the tactics, the game management, the discipline. No matter the KPI, the games are awful, the spectacle worse and the drips on STAN trying to polish the turd and tell me it’s a rare diamond just don’t wash. The only caveat appears the general fitness of the sides looks improved, but shouldn’t that be a minimum standard for a professional athlete and not a standout positive?
I can only hope for a re-calibration of players and clarity of mission from the recent Wallabies camp in Brisbane because with the Soap Dodgers lurking, then the Pope’s Lot, The Nearlies and the Cheika-led FISMs soon after, plus a possible five (yes 5!) NH tour matchess to bookend the season, the blunt truth is that the standard of play must improve or we are in a world of hurt this close to the RWC. For a scary thought, compare the French teams current RWC skill, cohesion, depth, pace, size, ability and overall rugby trajectory to ours……….
Houston, we have a problem.
Rolling Brawl.
I am a Wayne ‘Yoda’ Smith fan. I tend to agree with many of his articles, many are thought-provoking, challenging and with contacts built over an illustrious career he is often able to shine a light into the inner workings and machinations of Rugby denizens the world over, access we mortals could never dream of. His latest, a piece on SMH regarding a crackdown on the blight of the game – the rolling maul.
Rugby is a game built around a contest for possession, with the exception of this ‘contest’ where effectively there are 7 players in front of the ball shielding it from the opposition? For example, compare that to players being pinged – and rightly – for being in front of the kicker by 20 cm?
He goes onto to also discuss the rather lengthy ‘advantage’ rule as well – another bugbear of mine – you have 5 phases or make 20 metres – play bloody on. Be interesting if any of you boffins on here could actually show stats for penalties awarded AND advantages played in the Oz conference? I’d wager we’d be lucky to have a two minutes of ‘pure’ rugby played in Oz this year without it being ‘under advantage’
Rugby’s a product, competing for discretionary spending. The product in Oz simply has to improve. With The Soap Dodgers here in June, RWC 2023 just about upon us, The FUKIRS here in 2025 and the 2027 & 2029 RWCs seemingly ours, well, you do the maths.
SRP Round #8
Round 8 is upon us already – teams, times and coverage courtesy rugby.com.au
The Tahs and The Communists enjoy a bye this week, so it’s 5 games in total.
Highlanders v Moana Pasifika
Friday 8 April 5:05 pm AEST at Forsyth Barr Stadium, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
I would expect a bit of fatigue to hit the MP team this weak with their third game in 10 days although they do come up against a Highlanders side yet to register a ‘W’ this year (FFS The Rebels have even won one game!) and I half reckon Moana Pasifika will fancy themselves for this one.
Fearless Prediction: MP by 12
Western Force v Melbourne Rebels
Friday 8 April 7:45 pm AEST at HBF Park, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
This is actually a really interesting clash for a variety of reasons. Much loved Force coach Tim Sampson was shown the door this week and while he has handled himself admirably AND the signing of Cron is a clever one, there may just be some lingering and subconscious indifference from his lads. Add to that the confirmed news that FLW is also NH bound and the Force ‘could’ drop their bundles for this one.
As for the Scum, the forwards have been doing well this year, it’s the fairies who have cost them. But at home, fresh from a bye and with Tuttle, Nu’u, Kellaway and Hodge growing in form, I can’t see them losing.
Fearless Prediction: Rebel Scum by 11 and win #2 for the year
Hurricanes v Crusaders
Saturday 9 April 2:35 pm AEST at Sky Stadium, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
The Canes came home hard last week against the Chiefs and almost ran them down, in the return of skipper Ardie Savea, who will be better for the run. But giving up a lead to reasonable south island provincial side the Saders may be a touch harder.
I simply can’t tip against the Crusaders, there forwards are strong, but THAT backline, spoiled much!
Fearless Prediction: Crusaders by 13.
Chiefs v Blues
Saturday 9 April 5:05 pm AEST – Chiefs v Blues at FMG Stadium, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
For mine the match of the round. Evenly matched sides with the Blues in 4th on the SRP ladder (here) and The Chiefs 6th there’s much to be played for. The Chiefs lose and they are playing catch up in the second half of SRP, the Blues can consolidate there top 4 hold.
Fearless Prediction: Any team with one ‘B Barrett’ in it will always have an advantage. Blues by 10
Fijian Drua v Brumbies
Saturday 9 April 7:45 pm AEST at Suncorp Stadium, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport and Nine Network
Unpopular opinion ahead. I reckon The Drua are at the ‘nexus’ of their season. No doubting the skill, heart, desire & belief, but the brutal truth is SR is a ‘grind’. SR is gruelling effort after gruwlling effort after……….week in and week out and it’s this repetition and lack of squad depth, that’s eroding the Fijian performance. I have no doubt they are a force for the future, but right now the required fitness, squad depth and mental fortitude to perform consistently is simply not there.
I hope they can rise against a clinical, but still average Brumbies side otherwise the rest of the season could get messy for the Drua. Real messy.
Fearless Prediction: Ponies by 22.
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
Show me the money
Georgina Robinson of SMH reports RA could add a cool $1.5m to their coffers for a fifth test squeezed into an already packed NH tour later this year. Scotland have proposed a game at the start of the tour. A tour that otherwise sees tests against France, Italy, Ireland (at least we’ll win one this time) & Wales. The cash simply can’t be ignored, but logistics and player welfare…….nah, bugger it, bank the coin.
Frost Bites
Christy Doran who must get sick of ‘oh, you’re a guy?’ at hotel check ins around the world, reports on foxsports.com.au that breakout Ponies lock (and in my Wallaby XV side by a mile) Nick Frost ‘might’ be going cold on his planned Japanese move to the Dingo Deans Panasonic Discman Subaru Kawasaki side after this season. At just 22 yo, 206cm, 120kg an engine that doesn’t stop and more pace than our outside backs this kid’s got game, got future and gotta stay.
Prepared Porecki Pontificates
Dave Porecki tells rugby.com.au that the Wallaby coaches were so detailed in their preparation around their three day Brisbane Camp, that the Wallabies could play the ‘Poms next week’. Well technically we ‘could’, it’s just we wouldn’t actually beat them though.
For the record, I am a fan of this guy and I think he’s a mile in front of other rakes to wear orange this year. What I hope comes from the camp, and he alluded too, was a focus from the coaches on specific areas of improvement for all players involved vying for orange. Play the Poms next week? So far this year Oz sides can barely play with themselves.
Captain Kerevi
Growing whispers in mainstream media that with Samu ‘Gandalf’ Kerevi off contract in Japan at the end of ’23 is keen to return to Oz. Now, with incumbent Wallaby skipper Lee Majors, who will be 32 post RWC 23 likely to head OS for big Yen-Pound-Euro, wouldn’t a Wallaby Skipper of PI Origin be a real clever call. Especially in the run into a golden period for Oz Rugby, talk about ‘engaging’ the population. Might even be a ‘role model’, no wait, what?
Sex Addict Swings – Again!
OK, so not ‘technically’ rugby, but it does involve ‘athletes’ (yeah I laugh when they call themselves that too) and a ball, so ipso-facto, it’s kinda rugby. But hard not to cast an eye Stateside over this weekend and catch up on the royal and ancient game of ‘golf’ (which is Celtic for ‘whack-fuck’) and the pursuits of one renowned hole chaser, Eldrick Woods. At age 46 and apparently close to having his legs amputated after a car crash last year the fact he is competing at all makes him a role mod remarkable human.
As any number of golf fans and former flames have screamed to him before: ‘Get in the hole’
Go well Tiger.
Until next week – go the Tahs ahhh whatever.
Hoss – out.
