Author: Nick Hartman

Monday’s Rugby News has coworkers shouting at each other, Karmichael Hunt back in the frame, the ARU to work with Twiggy and salary cap shenanigans. [one_half last=”no”] Coworkers Michael Cheika, who is reputedly a fan of the old half-time spray, was not the one to deliver it on Saturday night. Rather, it was the Wallabies leadership group. Cheika has rather gleefully told the Daily Telegraph that Michael Hooper, vice-caps Bernard Foley and Will Genia, and Kurtley Beale, got a word in before the coach had the chance to. “It’s just the stepping stones the team is going through. Last night…

The boys get positive to discuss a great weekend of rugby. WARNING – may contain swearing

Wednesday’s Rugby News has something about 2019 Rugby World Cup, Kuridrani re-signing, Foley chatting about Beale and Wessels deciding. [one_half last=”no”] Nippon Nervous The News Limited sites have this written down as Japan being “nervous” about the Rugby World Cup but there’s really no cause for concern. They’ve just pulled quotes from the World Rugby CEO Alan Gilpin, who was chatting away in Singapore this week. Gilpin’s at something called All That Matters, and it’s a conference. Dunno what it’s about but here he is. “It’s not just the first World Cup in Asia, it’s the first World Cup outside…

Tuesday’s Rugby News has the latest stuff on Twiggy’s new comp as well as the movement of Force peeps to new Super clubs, a Wallabies squad update and Laurie’s take on rugby development. [one_half last=”no”] Neo NRC The Daily Telegraph is reporting that Andrew Forrest’s new Indo-Pacific comp may very well be a re-imagining of the NRC. In fact, they take it one step further and claim that Twiggy is in ‘formal’ negotiations. “Forrest has met with the ARU’s hierarchy about putting millions into his newly proposed Indo-Pacific Rugby Championship, and he could effectively replace the NRC with this tournament…

Something to Build On The Wallabies draw with South Africa was not a brilliant performance, but the result has helped steady the ship after losing both test matches v New Zealand in the opening two rounds of the Rugby Championship. Draws are never easy for players, supporters or coaches to get their heads around because we’re all hard wired to win. However, a draw is definitely better than a loss and, if nothing else, this result in Perth is something for the Wallabies to build on. In this column we’re going to look at the four tries scored and put…

This week feels a bit like kissing your sister. So the boys are back at it to try and makes sense of it all. WARNING – bio and podcast may contain swearing

Monday’s Rugby News has Jordan Uelese chatting about his debut, players and fans talking about the game in WA, John Eales’ take on the Senate inquiry and the results from the weekend. [one_half last=”no”] Fresh Meat Uelese Jordan Uelese made his Wallabies debut unexpectedly early on Saturday night, coming on only 28 minutes in after TPN injured himself again. Uelese, as our Player Ratings will show when they’re eventually up (Bobas!), played fairly well despite his ridiculous lid. Here he is with his views: “As soon as I came on … the Springboks really chatted out from the start … but…

The following article has been written by Eloise Pasteur. Eloise is a former, bad player of rugby while at school (a long time ago) who watches avidly and has a day job teaching science, maths and stats to people of all levels of ability. Occasionally she lets her love of rugby and her love of stats collide. This article is going to look at the attack stats of the Super Rugby season just past. If you’ve read my previous article about defence stats, then the following paragraphs aren’t of much use to you. You can just skip to first heading below. I’ve…

Wednesday’s Rugby News has no more Force, but maybe a new competition for them to play in (soon), *the* spreadsheet finally revealed and Cheika’s thoughts. [one_half last=”no”] Force Finale? The coup-de-grace has come. Hopefully. Several thousand hours after it would take the ARU 48-72 hours to cut an Australian team, the NSW Supreme Court has upheld the ARU’s case and put us out of our misery. If you’re a legal nerd you can find the judgement over here. Started 12 years ago, the Western Force never made the Super finals – something which probably won’t be valued much anymore in…

Tuesday’s Rugby News has yet another Judgement Day for the Force, Wallabies players talking Force, Boks coach Coetzee talking Wallabies and a referee assault. [one_half last=”no”] Judgement Day 2 Remember when Terminator 1 came out? I don’t, I don’t think I was alive. Remember when Terminator 2 came out? I don’t, I was barely sentient. But what I do know is that movie is awesome – and god willing, the inspiration for my next mega viral hit on Facebook – and its subtitle is ‘Judgement Day’. Back then, no one knew that Terminator would spew out Terminator Genisys, and absolute…

Monday’s Rugby News has some ear munching news, Latu in for Moore, Hodgson pleading with fans to show up and McGahan to the Reds. [one_half last=”no”] E is for Earlobe, that’s good enough for me Brisbane City hooker Andrew Ready had to get stitches in his ear as a Mike Tyson fan on the Fijian Drua team attempted to bite Ready during Saturday’s game. Samu Suguturaga is suspected of having a nibble on the Ready’s earlobe mid-way through City’s 45-36 win over what functionally the Fiji A. With an appetite like that, Suguturaga is presumably a front-rower. At the time,…

Wednesday’s Rugby News has the reasons why the ARU knocked back $50m, a big up for the Perth Spirit, Wallabies released for the NRC, and tits up for the Sydney NRC teams. [one_half last=”no”] Pulver reveals all Bill Pulver, while at the launch of the NRC, has revealed why the ARU rejected Twiggy Forrest’s offer of $50m (sort of). It was actually John Eales and Cameron Clyne who went – Bill wasn’t there – but he gave the best answer he could. “We are delighted to see Australians like Andrew Forrest get involved in the game and potentially support the…

The following article has been written by Eloise Pasteur. Eloise is a former, bad player of rugby while at school (a long time ago) who watches avidly and has a day job teaching science, maths and stats to people of all levels of ability. Occasionally she lets her love of rugby and her love of stats collide. It’s been a long Super Rugby season, made even longer by the poor quality of the Australian Super sides and the saga that’s just seen the Western Force enter the courts with the ARU. But enough about all the drama – what about the rugby?…

Tuesday’s Rugby News has a fit n’ fighting Brett Papworth, some sick Andrew Ready-related puns, a temporary look for the Vikings and Kuridrani wanted. [one_half last=”no”] Papworth A-Ok Brett Papworth is expected to be feeling 100% soon, after the Eastwood president suffered a heart-attack late on Saturday. The SMH reports that Papworth suffered the attack after the Shute Shield, and fell ill on Sunday. He’s had surgery, but looks like he’ll do alright. [/one_half][one_half last=”yes”] Ready For Lazy News Puns Andrew Ready, the lazy sub-editor’s favourite rugby player, is, err, ready to for the upcoming Super season. Which is all…

Monday’s Rugby News has the Wallabies not being “gallant losers”, Kurtley Beale hurting from the loss, more McMahon minutes and a Women’s Rugby World Cup wrap [one_half last=”no”] No Gallant Losers Michael Cheika is a fuming a bit after Saturday’s rip-roaring Bledisloe game. “I am not angry. I am just very, very disappointed because I felt like we did enough to win the game,” Cheika said, via the SMH. “We put everything into it and we wanted to get something out of it. “We don’t want to be gallant losers, that’s not our thing. I thought we deserved to win tonight.…

The boys doff their casual attire and replace it with the Wallaby Gold as, albeit not a complete performance, the lads saw the passion that made them fall in love with the game in the first place. Warning – may contain swearing

Wednesday’s Rugby News has a super meeting in Adelaide, a possible government intervention in the ARU, a positive Mick Byrne and the ABs’ thoughts on the WBs’ defence. [one_half last=”no”] Adelaide the Peacemaker ARU officials met with chief Force agitator Twiggy Forrest in Adelaide yesterday, and had a meeting of sorts. The big news is that the ARU have rejected a bid from Forrest to keep the Force in Super Rugby, supposedly around the $50m mark. While the Force have been kicked out of Super, it’s sort of secondary to the fact that the ARU are even more screwed as…

Tuesday’s Rugby News has the Wallaroos playing Ireland again, WA suing the ARU, Nathan Grey defending his work and Joe Marler talking Lions. [one_half last=”no”] IRematch The Wallaroos are set to play Ireland again, after the permutations of the 12-team Women’s World Cup means that they’ve been matched up in 5th place semi-final. If you don’t remember, the Wallaroos lost to Ireland 19-17 last week. The Wallaroos also lost to France, but beat Japan. Assistant coach Dwayne Nestor is raring to go. “It’s about playing our game, we know what we’re going to get from Ireland, and to a degree…

Monday’s Rugby News has more defence woes, David Campese putting his hand up, a Western Force rally and a death of a giant (both literally and figuratively). [one_half last=”no”] Defence Bad But D Coach Ok Michael Cheika has admitted what everybody else saw, that the Wallabies defence was atrocious, but is still backing defence coach Nathan Grey. “I think it was pretty plain to see that our defence wasn’t good enough at all,” Cheika said, according to ESPN. “But the adherence to the way we wanted to defend plus also the tackling in itself, it’s got to be better. That…

The boys are fuelled with fire and anger and try and breakdown the darkest days in the Australian rugby. Warning, likely EXTREME levels of swearing today.