Author: Roscoe Tims

One swallow doesn’t make a summer but this is no false dawn like we’ve been promised before, the Reds are the real McCoy in 2010. Their long suffering fans will be ecstatic at the way their team ripped the heart out of the Force in the first half of today’s game, leading by 36-3 and a bonus point to boot at the break, scoring five tries in the process. Players like Digby Ioane, Anthony Faingaa and Scott Higginbottom were unstoppable in this game, each scoring a brace of tries in this romp. Ione in particular looked menacing with ball in…

JUAN COTE and LANCE FREE go ‘Head to Head’ in this week’s preview of the Reds v Force match. Sunday arvo’s match in BrisVegas could be a BBQ stopper. LANCE: “I’m going out on a limb here and picking the Force to win this one because of three things (1) the Reds will be favourites (2) history, and (3) downright desperation”. JUAN: “Force to win my arse – they couldn’t tackle their way out of a wet paper bag. Based on recent form the Reds will comfortably bring home the bacon”.

‘Better red than dead’ was the saying in the 1940s when red stood for a socialist dictatorship of the proletariat and consequent violent regime change. Locally, the revolution over recent weeks has been the Queensland Reds overthrow of the natural order of things. The Super 14 working class heroes against the capitalist ‘running dogs’, or maybe the Tahs and Blues. Not quite yet the New Deal but the beginning of a winning culture that will help them retain their players from the clasp of the bolshie Vic’s.

You’ve got to feel for the Force. Not a lot of depth and without all their best players these Western warriors have…umm…’gone west’. I think their season is just about over and despite the return of a few Super 14 quality players this week it might have been just that little bit too late. The real warriors were the Waikato Chiefs and they eventually defeated the Force in a canter, although the latter displayed plenty of heart, they committed too many basic errors to put any real pressure on the Kiwis.

Your window of opportunity to purchase the internationally renowned G&GR T-Shirt is just about over. We only need 10 more sales to reach our bulk order target. The small profit we make on this print run will provide funding to help keep the Green and Gold Rugby website on your computer screens. Price: $A33.00 + postage. Yes, we’ll make sure that it’s posted to you and with a bit of luck your competent local postal service will dump it somewhere in the vicinity of your letter box.

It’s not only the Western Force who have been unlucky in love recently but the Chiefs are without a swag of quality players for this weekend’s clash in Swan Laager. In good news for the Force Mark Bartholomeusz, Ryan Cross and Nick Cummins return to the starting XV and recent four-game emergency signing Scott Staniforth is back on the wing. And in news to light up the Bunsen burner of old Einstein himself, James Rabbit O’Connor has finally been selected at flyhalf – no, not ‘flyback’ this time but actually at No. 10.

In the Seventies it used to be the ‘Whingeing Pom’ who copped a hammering for supposed incessant whining. In the new millennium it now seems to be the Melbourne Rebels who have adopted this moniker. I’m getting a bit sick and tired of how hard done by this new franchise continually says it’s being treated. Crikey, why can’t we rape and pillage the Reds and other established Super 14 sides before 1 June? Quelle horreur! And now after threats of legal action the ARU has given in to these whingers and brought forward the date to 15 March. Nah bugger…

You don’t have to be Einstein to work out that two into one won’t go. However, one into two is an entirely different matter. In a miracle of modern science as ground breaking as the Theory of Relativity James Rabbit O’Connor created a new position in the game of rugby at the Cake Tin yesterday. Not only did he occupy the fullback position during the game but the flyhalf as well, all at the same time. He’s the new ‘flyback’ with the number 1510 on his shirt.

This says it all: unavailable for selection are Andre Pretorius (hamstring, season), David Pocock (finger, 6 weeks), Richard Brown (shoulder, 6 weeks), Cameron Shepherd (thigh, 6 weeks), Nick Cummins (foot, 3-4 weeks), Mark Bartholomeusz (neck, 1-2 weeks), Ryan Cross (shoulder). That’s taken so much experience and talent out of this side that the Force will be huge underdogs at the Cake Tin. It’ll be like the gunfight at the O.K. Corral with the Force the Clantons and the Hurricanes Wyatt Earp.  In fact, the side named today for Saturday’s match is one of the most inexperienced you’d ever see at this level, packed full of near schoolboys…

Some would say that the Western Force has a touch of the Monty Python’s: ceased to be, expired, snuffed it, bereft of life, shuffled off this mortal coil, a late parrot! They’ve certainly had a Pythonesque start to their Super 14 rugby campaign and if not quite of Black Knight proportions are bleeding profusely with the loss of Pretorius, Bartholomeusz and Shepherd. The three quality backs ‘expired’ without a shot being fired prior to Friday’s opener against the Brumbies. Pretorius with a season ending hamstring tear at training, Bart with a neck complaint and the ill-fated Shepherd with a serious…

The Western Force have named their team for Friday’s match-up with the Brumbies and as flagged earlier in the week, Mark Bartholomeusz is the new black. He was recruited by the Force as a utility to provide backup at fullback and for Andre Pretorius at flyhalf – that he’s now the first choice No 10 is an unexpected elevation; however, this guy is no mug. Although he’s been plying his trade in Europe since 2004 primarily at the top level, he’ll notice the difference coming from Petraca Padova in the Super 10 up a few notches to the Super 14.

In military parlance, a force multiplier is an asset that increases your ability to succeed in the violence of the battlefield. Transposed to rugby it is the people, strategies, innovation and organisation that you can bring to your franchise to enhance success. And one of the major force multipliers in any season will be the Australian Super 14 coaching crew. This year it’s a relatively stable bunch with only one head coaching position changing hands over the summer and a tweaking of a few support roles.

Here we are at the sharp end of the Super 14 trial phase and we’ve whittled down the contestants like an audition for So You Think You Can Dance. The final trial between the Queensland Reds and the Western Force gets underway in Perth tomorrow night at ME Bank Stadium, a potential sandgroper version of the House of Pain. Winning at home has been painful sometimes for the Force over the past four years but they’re hoping the move to their new rectangular stadium will bring with it a cauldron-like atmosphere and a change of luck.

Directed by: Clint Eastwood Starring: Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon, Adjoah Andoh, Andre Jacobs, Julian Lewis Jones, Tony Kgoroge, Scott Eastwood and Zak Feaunati as Jonah Lomu. In the fell clutch of circumstance, I have not winced nor cried aloud, Under the bludgeonings of chance, My head is bloody, but unbowed. Let’s cut to the chase, this is not a film about rugby. Sure, rugby’s in it and rugby features all the way through it but it’s not the main game. No, the main game is about how a ‘kaffir terrorist’ and wily old politician, recently elected as the President of…

It only seems like yesterday that we were wiping the sleep from our eyes, cranking up the laptops and watching the G&GR live blog from Kingsholme as the Dirties took on Glos? And isn’t it still summer? Didn’t Punter and the boys clean up the Pakis earlier this week? Well bugger me, its footy time again! A special version of footy that is, Trial time. You know, Trials are a very interesting animal. They’re usually boring as batshit; as organised as an ARU board meeting and are full of people you’ve never heard of and are unlikely to hear of again.

The national media have been fawning all over Rod McQueen’s appointment as the new Super 15 Melbourne Rebel’s dual-hatted Head Coach/Director of Coaching like it was The Return of the King. This soft focus coverage has glossed over a couple of obvious facts that I thought rugby tragic’s like you and me might like to cogitate over. Firstly, we know that Rod McQueen is a legendary figure in our game having overseen the gestation and birth of the ACT Brumbies after earlier succumbing to NSW’s grubby internal rugby politics. The Brumbies evolved into a rugby powerhouse with a uniqueness and…

The question on everyone’s lips is how much will Matt Giteau’s departure hurt the Western Force this season? Let’s face it, in the three seasons he was there it was essentially ‘all about Gits’. He was their million dollar man, possessed oodles of star quality and was worth every cent. Commanding the backline around the park he made audacious breaks, kicked a few goals and cemented his position as a world class five eighth. As an aside, he helped develop one James ‘Rabbit’ O’Connor as the next big thing.

If ever there was a time for the Western Force to fulfill their real potential it’s now. They’ve essentially been a journeyman outfit since entering the Super 14 competition in 2006. I don’t mean that in a negative way because they’ve achieved more in the last four years than many of the more established Super 14 sides in particular the Reds, Lions and Highlanders. What I mean is that they’ve been the ‘blue collar’ team of Australian rugby. The fibros to the Brumbies silvertails? Perhaps self-fulfilling an expectation about Western Australia?

Like Jeremy Clarkson, Bill Nighy, Rory McGrath and Bob Geldof I’m also a man of my times, bloody irritated by Gen Y and the modern age. Why is it that the X-Box seems to have taken over from Snakes and Ladders? When was the last time you wrote a bloody letter? Remember picking up the phone and talking instead of tweeting, twitting or twatting? What’s wrong with rucking and the three point try? Why can’t a winger throw the ball into the lineout? Whatever happened to David Fitter?

There are not many occasions where I’d agree with Stephen Jones, The Times doyen of rugby writers, but this is one of them. The ELV ‘short arm’ sanctions were not adopted by the IRB this season after a vociferous campaign by the northern unions and journo fellow travellers like Mick Cleary and Brian Moore from the Daily Telegraph. They did their job well. Finally, a good decision by the IRB ‘old farts’. I wholeheartedly agree with them and good riddance to this load of old bollocks.