Author: Roscoe Tims

Roscoe Tims (aka @LanceFree): A nasty, opinionated little man whose views are indeed narrow with a capital 'N'. Favourite Sport: mungo bashing. Does he ever have anything positive to say?

The Australian Schoolboys team were given a lesson in composure by NZ Secondary Schools at Ballymore tonight after a disappointing loss, despite leading 12-6 at halftime. bro’Town decided to ‘tap yo’ Australian Schoolboy’s ass’ in the second half scoring three consecutive tries including one with only 14 men on the park, as a result of a yellow card. The final scoreline was a close 28-24, but it was in fact a resounding defeat. It was only a couple of late tries by the Schoolboys that put some respectability on the board. That’s not to say that at times Australia looked…

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Rocky Elsom has been named Wallaby captain for the upcoming Northern Hemisphere tour beginning later this month. He has taken over from Stirling Mortlock who was also named in the side. Berrick Barnes is the Vice- Captain. This will no doubt increase speculation that Mortlock’s Wallaby career may be coming to a close on top of his recent visit to Japan to check-out future options. Seven uncapped players have been included in the Wallabies squad announced today. The tour will incorporate Australia’s first attempt at a Grand Slam of the UK and Ireland in 25 years. The new caps are Kurtley Beale (NSW), Rob Horne…

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SEE ALL OUR LATEST NEWS, GOSSIP AND RAMBLINGS ABOUT THE MELBOURNE REBELS HERE The good news for the proposed Melbourne Rebels Super 15 franchise is that the two main parties, VicSuper15 and the VRU Rebels, have formed a partnership and the third is now sniffing around looking for an opportunity to participate. This is now happening under the auspices of the ARU’s co-opted financial guru, John Wylie. That might mean we now have a viable option or indeed, a going concern. Once it comes to pass and we’re potentially handed the baton by SANZAR, they’ll be establishing the structure that…

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Update 29 Sept: It has been reported in today’s media that the VRU Rebel’s bid Chairman (and media buying giant) Harold Mitchell has broken bread with VicSuper15 Group’s Ray Evans and Glenn Fowles, with a resultant merged board likely to result from the negotiations and with Mitchell appointed as Chairman. If this is the case, a strong contender for ultimate control of the franchise would likely eventuate. This ‘merged’ group are reportedly due to meet ARU appointed ‘number cruncher’ John Wylie later this week for discussions. It is not known whether the third bidder, the Belgravia Group, will have any role in this proposed partnership. This is positive news,…

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Diamonds by name, Diamonds by nature. What a credit to Australia our netball chicks are. When the going got tough in the far reaches of Outer Invercargill yesterday the Diamonds got going in a tense series decider. Each time the Silver Ferns came back into the game and threatened to overtake Australia they stepped up the pressure and returned with a counter. It ended 47-46 and won them the series 3-1, with a dead rubber to play. It’s a pity the Wallabies aren’t made from the same stuff.  The Wallabies were wearing the same green and gold uniform as the Diamonds, except the gold could best be described as yellow…

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They say you’re only as good as your last game. For a number of All Blacks that was last week as Graeme Henry has made wholesale changes to the team to play the Wallabies on Saturday. But it’s not only the players that might need changing, it’s the coaching team. Henry and assistant’s Wayne Smith and Steve Hansen have been in charge of this side for six years and it’s beginning to show.

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South Africa 32 New Zealand 29 In the best Tri-Nations match of the series to date the Springboks defeated the All Blacks in Hamilton last night to claim the Tri-Nations Trophy outright. This is the first time the Boks have defeated NZ three matches in a row since 1949; they are deserved winners and look the best South African side in a generation. The win was gained on the back of some huge penalty kicks by Francois Steyn from his side of halfway, not seen here before since Pierre Villepreux banged over a 70m penalty in 1968 during the Athletic…

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In a surprise development Phil Mooney has been sacked as coach of the Queensland Reds. This was announced by the QRU Chairman Rod McCall at a press conference today. There were rumours circulating last night concerning his potential demise with Greg Martin indicating on Fox Sport that he’d heard it could be on the cards today. There had been no comment from official sources. It appears the QRU have yet to undertake the process of recruiting any replacement for the 2010 season.

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The big question on everyone’s lips in the crunch Tri-Nation’s test in Hamilton on Saturday is whether South Africa will revert to type by employing their successful aerial game last seen in Capetown a couple of tests ago. This successful strategy which contributed mightily to them winning their three home tests is likely to be adopted in a game that will probably be played in wet and greasy conditions. The recall of Frans Steyn at fullback who was a major contributor to those wins suggests that this may be the case.

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Just off the Skype interviewing an old mate of mine in Kiwiland, Wiremu ‘Bill’ Whatanui from Whangamomona; that’s pronounced ‘Fot-a-new-ee’ from ‘Fong-a-mom-manna’ for the uninitiated, about this weekend’s All Blacks v Springbok showdown. Bill’s a rugby aficionado living in the wop-wops of the Taranaki, a wee way up from Stratford. Staunch rugby country bro’ – you know, Maori side step and ball in hand, who’s Garry Owen? Are there line markings on the oval? Rugby here is a little bit physical. He’s a real good sort and a bit of a dag.

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Jou bliksem, the Aussie skaapfokkers are kak! That’s the general view of the archetypal van der Merwe, Flippie of Krugersdorp about Saturday’s test in the West. He’ll be phoning his oom Jannie, who lives in Perthfontein, to see how the Bokke are going at training in the lead-up. Oom Jannie is a motor mechanic in Claremont so he’ll be able to pop down in the Zola Budd to Nedlands footy club to see them in action just now. Maybe a bit of jetlag but nothing some snotklap on the park and a lekker feed won’t put right. Snor will…

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Following mediation discussions between the parties, an agreed settlement has been reached between Lote Tuqiri and the ARU. “Tuqiri has agreed to discontinue his proceedings against the ARU and NSWRU,” the ARU said in a statement released late on Monday. As a consequence all court action Tuqiri initiated against the Rugby Union has been withdrawn. In July the ARU tore up his contract and sacked him for undisclosed reasons stating that Tuqiri had breached the player code of conduct. The reason for his sacking appears set to remain private.

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 We rate the players after most tests; now that we’re in the middle of the Tri-Nations it’s time to see how the commentators are travelling. Who’s on top of the  ladder SA, Oz or NZ? Home ground advantage is most important in the commentator stakes. This breed don’t travel well as a rule although being able to speak  English is a positive. Having a knowledge of rugby is desirable but not necessarily a prerequisite, as you’ll see. South Africa Kobus ‘Headroom’ Wiese is from Paarl like our good mate PaarlBok. In fact PaarlBok’s boykie Klein goes to Kobus’ old school,…

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Snor might be playing silly boitjies with his ridiculous comments about Le Fuse and Co at scrum time but Jannie Public in Saffaland is mainly interested in the Pienaar Steyn conundrum. The emergence of Morné Steyn at flyhalf has energised this rugby nation because, let’s face it, he’s a matchwinner extraordinaire after giving the All Blacks the what ho last weekend. Not only that but he’s a clean living god fearing role model, much in the mode of Donny Osmond

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The Springboks have retained the same starting XV that defeated the All Blacks last weekend, resisting the temptation to brink back Ruan Pienaar. Pienaar is the only change on the bench, replacing Wynand Olivier. The match winning form of Morné Steyn was just too good to ignore and he retains his spot at flyhalf.

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South Africa 31 New Zealand 19 The Springboks circled their wagons and fought off the sheep shagging hordes to register a convincing win over an error riddled All Black team who’s mojo certainly isn’t working. Be warned Wallabies, this Bokke side is the real deal. On the back of a match winning performance by Morné Steyn, who in South Africa is the new black, the Springboks spent the last 20 minutes entirely in All Black territory squeezing the life out of them. During this match Steyn kicked eight goals, one conversion and scored their only try in a dominant performance.

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Ladies and Gentlemen, let’s get ready to RRRUUUMMMBBBLLLE. This is a 10 round heavyweight contest featuring, in the black corner and weighing in with serious intent, former World No 1 and World Cup Chokers Champions, the All Blacks. In the green corner, with the weight of a rainbow nation on it’s shoulders, the current World No 1 and reigning Champion of the World, the Springboks. And it is a heavyweight contest between the two top-rated teams in the world. This match could determine the Tri-Nations outcome. A win away by any team is such a valuable commodity in this competition…

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South Africa 28 – All Blacks 19 Under Pressure was the David Bowie song in the 80’s and that’s what this game was all about, Springbok pressure. The first 50 minutes were dominated by the Bokke as they squeezed the life out of the All Blacks and led 17-3 early into the 2nd half. Similar to the Eden Park test where they peaked in the 2nd half, the All Blacks fought back gamely and came to within striking distance until a 76th minute try by Jacque Fourie terminated their effort. The advantage for the Wallabies with this result was sans…

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This game is the first in a heavyweight encounter between South Africa and New Zealand in Bloemfontein. For the All Blacks to retain their Tri-Nations title a win here would be a huge step in the right direction. In addition to being a Tri-Nations match, this game will determine who tops the IRB rankings. South Africa are coming into the match after a series win against the British & Irish Lions. The Lions provided very stern opposition against the Bokke and should have them firing. The All Blacks win last weekend against the Wallabies was scratchy and they’ll be looking for an improved performance.

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The recent signing by Hugh McMeniman to the Japanese rugby club Kubota Spears, the defection of league pinup boy Craig Wing to Mark Gerrard’s 2nd Division club NTT Communications, and the possible switch to union in Japan of ‘Special K’ creates a growing interest in what’s happening over there. The Japanese have a professional Super 14 style competition called Top League. This was set up in 2003 by the JRFU with 12 teams but was later expanded to 14 in 2006. It’s designed to grow rugby union in Japan and to allow the national team, the Cherry Blossoms, to…

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