Author: Scott Bryant

It’s hard to imagine a more bizarre assertion than the one Spiro Zavos made in Saturday’s Sydney Morning Herald. Zavos’s claim that Robbie Deans is being hounded from the Wallaby coaching job as part of a racist plot led by Australia’s mainstream press was disgraceful and he should retract it. Let’s be clear. Deans is under pressure due to his team’s repeated failings over many years, not because he copped a nickname four years ago or the fact he’s a Kiwi. Instead of putting forward such paper thin arguments Spiro would be better served reading through some of his old articles,…

Last week certainly started poorly for ARU commander-in-chief John O’Neill, but by the end of it he’d come up smelling of roses after a decent Wallabies romp against the Taffs, and the news that he’d been appointed as acting Chairman for domestic casino behemoth, Echo Entertainment. It continues a golden run for JON that started when he was appointed to the Board of Directors of Rugby World Cup LTD earlier this year. The news of JON’s appointment came amid a corporate pissing comp between James Packer’s Crown Ltd and previous Echo chairman John Story, after Story refused Packer’s request to…

I want floodgates. I want a 40 pointer. I want a performance that says, “Yeah, we’re ready to take on the All Blacks and beat them!”, and not just in Brisbane or Honkers either. I want to see the Wallabies start the game at full throttle and keep redlining it for the entirety. That’s what I want, but sadly, I don’t think that’s what I’ll get. We’ve already heard the pre-fabricated excuses being mouthed since seemingly every second professional player in Australia was named in the Wallaby training squad. It’s the same every year, limited preparation, injuries and new combinations…

Australian rugby’s governance structure is under review with both New South Wales and Queensland’s current voting powers set to be knee-capped in favour of a ‘one vote one value’ system across all states. This mightn’t be a bad thing, but when you consider the potential it has to concentrate the ARU’s control over the game, this mightn’t be a good thing either. The review will by headed by disgraced former Labor Senator, Mark ‘The Faceless Man’ Arbib and the chairman of the ARU’s governance committee, Peter Cosgrove. Indeed it was Cosgrove who boldly claimed that rugby’s decision making should no…

Twas the night before Choke-mas, when all through the land All Black supporters were nervous, as Dan wasn’t the man The Black jerseys were hung in the change rooms with care In the hope that the World Cup, soon would be theirs. The Children lay sleepless, cowering in their beds While visions of Morty03 danced through their heads They’d heard all the stories of yesteryear’s disgrace Deep down they knew, the same scenario they’d face   How quickly things changed, two weeks for the switch It was down to the business end, and they’d developed quite a twitch Split Enz were singing history couldn’t possibly repeat But now…

It’s fitting the Wallabies play Russia this weekend because just as the Communist model was shown to be flawed, so too has the Deans model. You reckon I’m wrong, consider the team named by Robbie for the game against Russia: three halfbacks, three hookers and a back-rower on the wing — and that’s even before you try to comprehend the value of playing our one and only fetcher (who’s struggling with injury) in a game against a team that’s conceding an average 47 points per game. The whole makeup of the team fills you with the same sense of foreboding you’d get if…

Much has been made of the Waratahs’ move to hold a fan forum in an attempt to win back the support of their crowd. While publicly the Tahs are saying the night is about the fans having their say, G&GR has come across the agenda for the evening, which suggests the night may be more about fan re-education rather than feedback…. Waratah supporter re-education evening running sheet 7.00pm – Delegates to enter auditorium walking past Waratah flags, banners and posters of Dear Leader Waugh 7.02 pm – Waratah fan re-education fan packs to be distributed. Each pack to consist…

From the team that brought you the blockbuster Convictus, ‘Soft’ Underbelly (a tale of two barbies), is the latest offering from G&GR productions. It is a tale full of mayhem and chaos, where only the soft survive – coming soon to a rugby ground near you

The first day of a New Year and hope springs eternal. Players and supporters alike look forward to days of triumph and the hope that this will finally be THE year…..so will it or won’t it? I’ve dusted off the Ouija Board, studied the entrails of a slaughtered goat and consulted the crystal Gilbert to come up will my predictions of how the five Australian teams will go in 2011. Tahs In 2011 the House of Waugh continues its retrograde through Hickey which will lead to a malaise for all those under its power. The brief enlightenment that occurred in…

There was movement on the sidelines, for the word had got around Replacement fly-half Stephen Donald was soon to take the ground The game was all-but over, the Darkness held the lead The Wallabies were clearly shagged, it was time to about concede. The Men-in-Gold were down by 12 and it had all been seen before Sookface had just come on, as Gits was shown the door. But just when all seemed hopeless and the only outcome was defeat The Man from Waiuku River rose ungainly to his feet. His warm-up on the sideline was something of a farce He’s…

Against the backdrop of a spanking Brisbane spring day, and with a spring in their step, the Reds have launched their 2011 season membership drive. After last season’s heroics, there is every reason to believe the Reds can kick on and be the topped placed Australian team plus earn the guaranteed final spot on offer under the revamped Super 15 format. The Reds have set lofty goals both on and off the field setting their sights on signing up 15,000 members for next season. A few years ago such an ambition would have been inconceivable but after the Link lead…

The Red Heavies have won this year’s Premier rugby final downing a gallant Sunshine Coast 19-11 in appalling conditions at Ballymore. It was a deserved victory for the competitions high-fliers who despite a few shaky moments toward full time, always looked to be doing enough. In a game that never reached any great heights due to the conditions, both teams struggled to find any sort of rhythm or continuity. In the end it was University’s ability to dominate the set piece that proved the difference. The match was only two minutes old when University flexed their considerable attacking muscle…

Sunshine Coast has recorded a boilover victory to defeat the highly fancied Sunnybank and win through to this year’s Brisbane Premier rugby grand final where they will face the red-hot Red Heavies next week. In a game that was riddled with errors and the shrill of the referee’s whistle, former All-Black Caleb Ralph turned back the clock to score a try 8 minutes from time and make sure the three bus loads of Sunny Coast supporters went home happy. The first 10 minutes of the match was played in slow motion with neither team looking settled or willing to knuckle…

Over the last month I have watched both the Wallabies and our politicians with dismay. It seems that certain characteristics and frailties that some of our rugby players have, our politicians also share – and vice versa. It occurred to me one night the career trajectories of some of the key players in either field of endeavour are strangely similar and the description that could be applied to one of our Wallabies, could just as easily be applied to our MP’s. Rocky (Julia Gillard) – The captain of the country who is yet to win the hearts and minds of his followers.…

This weekend sees the final round of Brisbane Premier Rugby and the race for the two remaining finals spots couldn’t be tighter with no less than 5 teams locked together on 47 points. With the first and second spots already secured by Uni and Sunnybank respectively, Brothers, Sunny Coast, Easts, GPS and Souths are all a chance to have a crack at finals football. So close have things become that a little known rule may be called on to break the dead-lock should more than two teams finish the regular season level on points. If the teams are…

Despite not playing anywhere near a standard of rugby to win, or even be competitive in this year’s Tri-Nations, Robbie Deans seems content with the progress to date of his team. Clearly looking through a half-full glass, Deans praised his troops for their efforts and suggested after four Tests in as many weeks his team was “in terms of the ledger,  well and truly on the positive side”. I guess when you consider the opposition the Wallabies were up against he is right, but in terms of what challenges lay ahead, the ledger looks more like a sea of red.

The crowd set the scene for the opening exchanges with the out-numbered Irish supporters making more noise and showing far more enthusiasm in everything as the game started. It was a fairly accurate metaphor for what was happening on the field also. The Wallabies were content to kick ball away with Burgess and QC both responsible for kicks that belonged in park footy, not a test. The Irish were happy to give the ball to the Wallabies and it was the  sort of game and it resembled the worst of 2009 rugby.

The search is on to find a new Wallaby  front row combination and you can be part of the action by auditioning to become ‘Australia’s Next Prop-Star’. ‘Australia’s Next Prop-Star’ gives you the chance to live the dream of running out for your country and scoring heaps of really cool Wallaby kit – what could be better!! This competition is open to anyone who can “crouch-touch-pause-engage” * and who has a willingness to have their body contorted into many weird shapes, as well as have their head shoved back through their arse.

JO’C 8 – Was a constant threat from fullback and his positional play was first class. This time last week there were a fair few people crowing about Kurtley, but after this week’s 120 mins of rugby from JO’C, you have to ask – Kurtley who? Diggers 7 – Set up the QC try with a typically bold run and sneaky pop ball but let himself down with a few elementary handling errors. Provides a brutal foil to the more refined skills of his back-division counterparts Rob Horne 6 – Not once did the Pommy centres get a sniff of…

Kurtley Beale 6 – A butter-fingered start that steadily improved as the game went on. It is clear fullback is his best position, but is he the best fullback in Australia? Digby Ioane 8 – Showed what a devastating runner he is close the fringes and was rewarded with a couple meat-pies. Had to do the work himself as precious little ball came his from the backline. Rob Horne 7 – Wasn’t outstanding but did what an outside centre should do – run straight. Ran a nice little angle of a QC short ball and showed great composure when tackled…