Author: Nutta

Hello CobbersSo what’s happening around your world this week? Close to home, as of writing (Monday midday), undoubtedly we have an electioneering Scotty from Marketing trumpeting fuel excise relief and a few one-off payments to the lower/middle in order to buy an election via a budget. But none of those short-term initiatives were denied or rebuffed by Albo & Co. So there is nothing differentiating about it. And while we had the Mean Girls tagline belting our left-sided friends for a week or so, we then had Concetta Fierravanti-Wells pull the pin on her grenade for Scotty’s Mob on Budget…

Hey Cobbers & Diggers All.I hope you’ve all had a Pizza Pockets start to your week, filled with the warm, comforting, gooey goodness of melted ham and cheese.That said, while some of us on the east coast of Oz are finally getting a wee break from this bloody incessant rain, others are having to paddle about in floodwaters again, which is not good. What I do know is that, dealing with the big issues in life, pre-season training everywhere has been fairly decimated by this wet and, even as the son of a western NSW sheep farmer, even I am…

Hey Cobbers All. I hope you’ve all had a cracker early start to the week and whatever god you bend a knee or bang a head towards is serving you a continuous stream of good weather, German pork knuckles, bottomless beers and good health.Welcome to The Chewsday Chew. The purpose herein is not to write something overly complicated, no Pythagorean concoction of indecipherable hyperbole, but rather to pose a simple observation, question or proposition and let the good readers of this esteemed site share their opinions thereafter.Call it the lazy man’s attempt to fill a void by poking our collective…

Hello Cobbers,Well we have arrived at the penultimate point in this mendacious meandering about the rugby field and the folk we may meet on it. And in this instance, penultimate is a well-suited word. Most folk think penultimate means peak, or the pinnacle, or something similar to reaching the top. They are to be a bit disappointed. Penultimate actually means second to ultimate, or next to greatness, or not quite there, and so a bit of a disappointment. And that describes our final position to consider wonderfully well, No15, the Fullback, a bit of a disappointment really.A Fullback’s role, in…

Hello Cobbers,For a few weeks now I’ve been updating my concoction of caboodled connotation and curlicue, tack welded together from my 5 odd decades of lies, deceit and lucky escapes playing the wonderful game in some odd spots around the world. And, oddly enough, through that time & space I’ve listened to many of the same laughs, gripes and frustrations regardless of the language, accent or geography – from Stuttgart to Constantinople, Glasgow, Limerick and Wagga and indiscernible places in between.As such, these are nothing more than the random thoughts of a never was (so can’t be a ‘has been’),…

Hiya CobbersIn this round of Rugby Positions Revisited I am focusing on numbers 11 & 14 – the Wingers – and their contribution to our wonderful game.It is too easy, some may say obtuse or droll, to insist Wingers contribute nothing. Facta non verba, even though numbers 11 & 14 are officially listed by the UN as among the 7 Most Useless Things in the World (next to the Pope’s balls and 3x Cheers for the Ref), it is nonetheless true that when someone actually useful is given a card, Wingers are still kept on-field while Loosies take the bullet.…

Hey Cobbers,So here we are, continuing the ambling continuum of a Prop pondering the Pixies and meandering among the inexplicable.Today we consider the First-Five, Five-Eight, Fly-Half, Outside-Half… or the guy tagged with any one of a plethora of other nonsensical terms, that when conjoined mean even less than one of a single anything. What this confirms is that no one really knows what the bloke wearing no10 is actually there for. And so, while I have played alongside a couple who were truly gifted artisans, I prefer the nomenclature of Standoff for the rest of the general denizenry of the…

This little Prop just could not sleep, because his thoughts were way too deep. His mind had gone out for a stroll and fallen down the rabbit hole… Continuing the discourse of the folk we meet when charging down the street with your local rugby team, today we discuss the Half, also known as Scrum-Half, Half-Back, Smart-Half, Half-Hole, Half-Wit… whatever you want to call them, they wear no9.Some may find it surprising, but I generally genuinely like no9s. The true first-principles of their role heartens me on so many levels; the plucky little Hobbit in the face of rampaging Uruk-Hai,…

Hail Well Met Cobbers,Again we continue the anti-climactic meandering by the never-was-so-can’t-be-a-has-been in attempting to explain the personalities that inhabit the average mud-luvin’ rugby team around the world. And today we are turning to discuss the enigma closing out the back row, tailing the rear of the lineout and locking the back of the scrum together; therefore clearly explaining why this joker is called ‘Number 8’ (No8).Unfortunately, there’s really not much to say about this fella, as in every facet of the game they are simply excess baggage. And they know it. I mean they are so obviously redundant that…

Hey Cobbers,And so the revisionist journey of rugby positions, and the folk who stereotypically inhabit them, continues… This time we contemplate the numbers 6&7.Originally called Wing-Forwards, the denizens of the 6&7 jerseys developed a complex about being conjoined in name with Backs. And so they approached the Rugby Illuminati and agitated for a name change (Hansard includes phrases such as ‘degenerate Faeries’ as being bandied about). Everyone else eventually agreed, but only because Wing-Forward rhymed with nothing. That’s why they are now called Flankers.Flankers are interesting because they are such a contradiction. Flankers will tell you they are indispensable. They…

Hey Cobbers,For those with lives and thereby not paying attention to recent posts, and are now wondering WTF this is all about, well during our mutual festival of rolling Corona-meets-Christmas shut-down I’m revisiting, plagarising and updating my previous observations on the various attributes of the folk one may meet on the atypical rugby park. I’m lucky enough to have played rugby in some pretty obscure places around the world over the years and despite variations in language, standards, styles and law interpretations, it’s remarkable how similar the game and its participants were no matter where I found myself pulling on…

Hello Cobbers,Last post, we rediscovered the resident pontificators of the whole show; Props. Now we split the difference and chat about the glue holding The Row together – the ubiquitous No2.Hanging between the twin philosophers of 1 & 3 the bearer of the no2 – the Hooker – is the undisputed scary weirdo of the Front-row. While still possessively regarded as part of the “The Row” and gladly included in Props Night shenanigans, Hookers are unlike the more sophisticated and refined Props by being at their most-merry when up to their elbows in mud, guts and blood of anyone and…

Hello Cobbers.Some years back I reflected on the types of folk I have met playing rugby. So in our annual dead-spot, amid thrice-re-booked Covid weddings, betwixt Office Christmas and/or New Year’s parties and before pre-season comes to spoil the parties, I thought to dust those assessments off, freshen them up a little and stick ’em up again. Thus over coming weeks I will post updated ‘Rugby Positions Revisited’ as an attempt at explaining rugby positions to the uninitiated. To that end, I do not claim the following as original work. A lot of it is. But much has been stolen…

Hello Cobbers Well this little Prop just could not sleep because his thoughts were way too deep, his mind had gone out for a stroll and fallen down the rabbit hole… I write this after watching the end to end, 8x try expression of exuberance and joy at Eden Park that, whilst the good guys lost to the denizens of Mordor yet again, did prove that smart running rugby is alive and well if you want to play it. But here we are for what feels like almost a completely different sport. We are in Cape Town for the Decider, the…

Hey Cobbers IsiZulu sami sibi. Sanibona! Ngiyanemukela! Well here we are for match 2 of 3 of the series to be played out at Cape Town. The Lions have won all six of their starts so far on tour and look to continue the trend here today and secure the series. With Gatland picking from the enviable position of winning the first test for only the fourth time in the 12 Lions vs Sth Africa series to-date, Chris Harris, Conor Murray and Mako Vunipola come in to the starting XV for the Lions. In comparison for the Bokke, Leicester’s Jasper…

Hey Cobbers I thought to do a short piece on taking penalty kicks versus chasing tries from lineout drives. Why? Because we have a national Captain in Mr Hooper who has been the recipient of much Punter-Rage in recent years because of an apparent predilection to forego “sensible” (ie higher-percentage) 3pts penalty shots and instead chase the higher risk/reward of a lineout-originated driving-maul try option. In the French series this seemed to change. Now to be fair, rational folk understand he is 99% operating on coaches instructions. But let’s not permit facts to interrupt a good sledging rant yeh? Next thing…

Finally, after 4x warm-up Franchise games and a Claytons test we see South Africa turn away from dealing with the frivolities of a worldwide plague, riots and the disintegration of civil order to grapple with the really important stuff in life – the first test of Springboks against the Lions. On what looked like a clear, sunny and fantastic day in Cape Town, Aussie Nic Berry blew time-on in-front of a raucous crowd of zero and Dan Biggar got proceedings underway with the now common-place No2 kick to the front-edge of the Bokke 22m. A clean catch and a pod…

Gudday Cobbers, Sorry about the Yr8 French, but Round2 of 3 in the Trophée des Bicentenaires was played out tonight in Melbourne at AAMI Park with live, ad-free coverage provided on 9Gem with parallel (and slightly more extended) coverage on Stan Sport. Just take a moment there – How good is that?!?!? After years of subscription-hostage crap on Fux for the garbage coverage seen especially last year (undermining value???) this is a veritable smorgasbord of choice! I call that out loud and proud right now; Well Done RA! I don’t say that too often… Essentially the Wobblies ran the same…

I am the first to admit I’m a lucky man regarding a great many things in life.And one of those beautiful things I am too lucky to be blessed with is the privilege of being associated with our game in some small ways.From 1979, when I first tucked a ball on a muddy and miserable day in sub-glacial Tumut and ran towards other lads from Cootamundra (who were likely as equally refrigerated and terrified as I), through even to now, I am deeply conscious of the beauty of the trough at which I stand on the edge, pull on some…

For those wondering wtf this is all about, during our mutual Festival of Corona Lock-down I’m periodically revisiting and plagarising old articles and updating my observations on the various attributes of the folk one may meet on the a-typical rugby park. I’m lucky enough to have played rugby in some pretty obscure places around the world over the years and despite variations in language, standards, styles and law interpretations, it’s remarkable how similar the actual participants are no matter where I found myself strapping on the studs (steady on…). So far we have reconfirmed that Props are the resident philosophers and moral…