Author: Nick Hartman

Thursday’s Rugby News has the Lions squad, Cheika chatting Wallabies, Adam Coleman still on ice, and the Waratahs shelving box kicks (for the moment). [one_half last=”no”] Lions Squad Warren Gatland has named his bumper squad for the June series against the Kiwis. And boy, is it a squad. First things first – Sam Warburton is the captain again. He captained the side when they were in Australia last. The squad also contains 3 2 of the 4 nations’ captains, with Greig Laidlaw (Scotland) not being around due to injury [and Dylan Hartley being excluded]. Also, get this – there are three…

Wednesday’s Rugby News has the Aussie u20s squad named, the Lions squad about to be named, the Brumbies looking forward to the Canes and Nathan Grey reckons the Waratahs’ D will A-Ok. [one_half last=”no”] Aussie U20s Squad Named “ELEVEN QUEENSLANDERS NAMED IN AUSTRALIAN U20s SQUAD FOR OCEANIA RUGBY U20S CHAMPIONSHIP,” booms the Queensland Reds website, which really isn’t surprising given their QLD U20s dominant performance in this year’s U20 state comp. GAGR’s very own Lee Grant has written all about the U20s squad over here, so following will just be a few quick details. The U20s Oceania Champs will be…

Easter Tuesday’s Rugby News has a retirement, Lopeti Timani banned, a love-in between Nick Stiles and Alex Mafi, and upsets galore at the Singapore Sevens. [one_half last=”no”] Mitchell Retires Drew Mitchell announced his retirement from rugby last night. Taking to Twitter, Mitchell wrote this: So it’s my turn to call time on my rugby career! I’ve been very lucky to have had the experiences I’ve had in our great game. Thank you — Drew Mitchell (@drew_mitchell) April 17, 2017 That tweet then goes to awkward places, with Matt Giteau calling Mitchell “babe”. Hmm Mitchell, 33, holds the 3rd-place record for…

Blake, fresh off the plane, gets a welcomed return to the Rugby Report Card with James and the teams resident Queensland correspondent Nelson. The boys discuss how Continuity and Change seems to be the ARU’s and their Super Rugby Teams business plan for this year. Who’s your bum of the week?

Over the years, there have been many brilliantly named men (and women) to grace professional rugby. Names like the supervillian sounding Os du Randt, 80s synthpop heartthrob Zinzan Brooke and fashion warehouse Jeremy Paul, are all just a few of the great names to have passed through rugby history. So, in a totally unrelated celebration of Easter, here’s an XV made up of players with amazing names only. What’s your XV? Rules: Currently playing Professional or academy player No South Africans (hard mode) Front Row [one_third last=”no”] Ox Nché (aka Retshegofaditswe Nché) [/one_third] [one_third last=”no”] Bismarck du Plessis special mention: Ricky…

Devoid of any of the Super Rugby franchise misery, Thursday’s Rugby News is actually ok. The Tahs are going play club rugby this weekend, Slack wants Cheika to have selectors, Aidan Toua wants to stay as does Karmichael. [one_half last=”no”] Kepu Out Sekope Kepu was suspended for love tapping (or something like that) a Hurricanes player off the ball earlier this week. On the other hand, the Waratahs have the bye this weekend. Thing is, this time around, is that Kepu can’t serve his ban playing Shute Shield this weekend. Yep that’s right, the disciplinary rules have been changed. So…

Wednesday’s Rugby News has more crap about what’s going on with the ARU (a bigger timeframe to decide; it’s all about the money; and Nic Stirzaker is sad about it), and the Rebels have signed three Shute Shield players. [one_half last=”no”] On and On The original 48-72 hour deadline set by the ARU on what Australian team would be cut from Super, has been extended. This extension is indefinite, and has come about with the news that the Western Force are going to take the ARU to court over a possible axeing. “The ARU will undertake due process to ensure…

Tuesday’s Rugby News has loads of Bill Pulver news. It’s great. It’s amazing. All other rugby news sources are for losers. Also, the Force are taking the ARU to court, and the ARU have good news. [one_half last=”no”] The Bill You might think, being a news writer, that I’m enjoying writing rugby news at a time of rugby upheaval. But I’m not. It’s horrible. The first cab off the news rank today is a quick rehash of the ARU presser they held at 930am yesterday morning. The ARU have said they have agreed to axe one Australian Super team.…

James and Richard fight back the tears to report on this round of rugby amongst other topics of conversation including dietary requirements for South African forwards. WARNING – may contain effing and jeffing

Monday’s Rugby News has details regarding Sanzaar’s corporate speak presser, RUPA’s presser, Matt Hodgson’s teary presser, as well as some good news from the Hong Kong Sevens. [one_half last=”no”] Sanzaar Sez You possibly might have heard that Sanzaar have made a statement about what’s gonna be happening with Super. You can check out Rugby Reginald’s post on the issue over here, but for the shortsies, here’s the gist of it: There will be 15 teams 1 Australian team will go, 2 from South Africa 3 conferences x 5 teams Aus conference = 4 Aus teams + Sunwolves SA conference =…

Thursday’s Rugby News has: Bernard Foley back to being back, Ready and Frisby on the naughty step, Matt Giteau has a new job and Steve Hansen saying whacky things. [one_half last=”no”] Foley Back! Bernard Foley, who only those with a Tahs bias (and Rugby Reg – listen above) could say is Australia’s best 10 by far, is set to play this Friday against the Hurricanes, after it turns it he doesn’t really have concussion that bad at all. The Waratahs, the SMH says, are “adamant Foley is 100 per cent”. “There’s no foreseeable way [of knowing symptoms won’t return],” Foley said.…

Wednesday’s Rugby News has: Ryan Louwrens out for the season, Will Skelton going to Saracens, Chris Alcock keen to be the biggest man, and Naiyaravoro starting. [one_half last=”no”] Louwrens Out The Wallabies will have to find another scrumhalf after Ryan Louwrens was ruled out for the rest of the season with an ACL twang. Louwrens was taken off after just 9 minutes’ play on the weekend. Western Force coach Dave Wessels spoke of Louwrens’ value after Saturday’s match. “I’m pretty biased but I think Ryan’s the best nine, the form nine in Australia at the moment so it means a…

Tuesday’s Rugby News has Mack the Mason’s reaction, Stephen Moore knowing a thing or two about the Brums, the Force fellas feeling funny, and a new coach for Gloucester. [one_half last=”no”] Mack the Mason Mack Mason is feeling a bit here and there since receiving an “out of the blue” call-up on the weekend. “It was definitely out of the blue,”  Mason, who’s a QUEENSLANDER, told rugby.com.au. “I was at club training that night, just watching and he called me and said ‘You’ll be playing this week’ and I was in shock and then nerves hit me, then the excitement, so…

Monday’s Rugby News has: Mick’s handy hints on how Australian rugby could be better, the Brumbies looking for a new coach, Dave Wessels wagging his finger, and Scotland saying nay. [one_half last=”no”] Byrne Sez Mick the Kick reckons unstructured rugby skills are paramount in the new, dark world of ABs dominance. “My view is that we should have five teams,” Byrne told the Australian. “Why? Because we’re not watering down our talent, we’re not developing our talent. Every single player out there wants to be better and we’re not doing enough work to make them better.” Byrne reckons Australia are stuck…

Blake, James and Richard obfuscate Australia’s great success this round. “You can’t sign a petition to keep your job, and then not show up to work the next day” Who’s your bum of the week?

Friday’s Rugby News has four bits of Force news, which is strange cos we’re East Coast Elitists over here, as well as a possible RUPA strike and a rugby musical. [one_half last=”no”] DHP returns Dane Haylett-Petty, who was meant to be rested or something like that for the Force’s NZ tour, is now set to start against the Blues in Auckland. DHP’s return is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to team changes: Matt “Juggernaut” Hodgson making his first start of the campaign; Richie Arnold (of Rory fame) making his first ever start; Bill Meakes is back in…

Thursday’s Rugby News has: RUPA not keen on distributing Force players; Smith, Simmons and Inman back; shorter Lions tours; and Cam Shepherd’s thoughts. [one_half last=”no”] RUPA Not Keen When the Daily Telegraph reported the other day that the Force will be cut if Super goes to 15 teams, it said that the ARU will seek to move the Force players to other Super teams, picking and choosing where they end up. Well, unsurprisingly, the player’s association isn’t so keen on that idea. RUPA boss Ross Xenos has raised the little-known concept of “legality” with regards to the idea. “All Australian…

Wednesday’s Rugby News has the ARU dusting off its typewriter to write not one BUT TWO press releases, and Foley and Tim Simona out. [one_half last=”no”] Yawn! The slumbering giant that may or may not also known as Australian rugby awakened yesterday when the ARU released not one but TWO press releases!! (Hey guys, if you’re looking for a writer who’s as lazy, incompetent and antagonistic as you, I’m your man!) The first one is a-whole-lot-of-nothing concerning the Western Force fiasco. Seems like nothing is going on but curiously there’s no “Straya’s having 5 teams no matter what rah rah rah”…

Rugby Reg, Matt and Hugh do as they do and wang on about Super Rugby, Australian rugby and anything inbetween. The five burning questions: Do we believe the ARU that no decision has been made regarding the Force? ARU due to announce a $3m profit – is that a good sign? ARU have responded to the Roy Morgan poll indicating diabolical rugby participation numbers – who do we believe? What was your highlight and lowlight of the round that was? Aussie teams (other than the Brumbies on the bye) are all playing Kiwi teams – will we win a game?…

Tuesday’s Rugby News is all about the Force – the reports, their fighting words back, and how the Kings could turn out to be their saviours. [one_half last=”no”] Forced Out, Pt 1. The Daily Telegraph is reporting that the Western Force are going to get cut. The Force will only get cut if the Sanzaar decides to go the 15 teams which, given the report’s narrative, seems the likely option. The decision whether Super stays as an 18-team comp or goes down to a 15-team comp, will be decided at a meeting next week on 6 April. As the report…