Rugby

Friday’s Rugby News.

Welcome to Adelaide and have a nice day.
Friday’s Rugby News.

G’day Gaggers & welcome to Friday.

Today let’s visit The City of Churches, so called as residents of SA are the walking dead. With much to discuss let’s start with words straight from the horse’s mouth with ‘Talk is Cheap’. Preview this week’s second Wallaroos test & round #3 of TRC in ‘Forsake us not’. I let you in on a pet hate of mine in ‘Just Sing It Already’. Then we go deep into the bowels of RA, out the back past the toilet block, the janitors cupboard, the shanty lean-to of Nathan Williamson’s office to the Marketing Pigeon with ‘Huh?’. Then round it all out with Friday’s Goss with Hoss, now Royal Commission free – at last.

Quote from Mrs Hoss.

TALK IS CHEAP.

Not much more us fans can add about the Argentinian Abomination of two weeks back, so I will let those within the Orange Universe have their say instead:

‘Moses’ Rennie (although a loss here will see an official nickname change to ‘Freddy Mercury – under pressure.)

“I expect to see resolve. There’s been a fair bit of poking in the chest, a little bit last night and today. I expect to see a response.”

“You need to kick smart to apply pressure. If you don’t kick, teams just get a big wall in front of you and they knock you over and you run up your own backside,”

you can’t abdicate responsibility when you get a result like that.”

“We haven’t started well enough, that’s an issue for us and we’re look at what we’re doing there.,”

“We understand that respect is earned daily and we get an opportunity to earn it against the current World Champions on Saturday afternoon.”

7As

“I think it’s more the boys are pretty gutted after the last game,”

“We spoke about it as players, we thought we had the right game plan in place from the coaches but we just weren’t good enough as players to put on the field – and that’s our job. We’ve got to be accountable on that front.

Jon Snow

‘You’re farging what?’ (ok, so not exactly what he said, but mine is more succinct and captures the essence of what he actually said)

“Take a deep breath, put a hand on your heart and repeat out loud: ‘It is safe for me to welcome times of transitions with more grace. I am no longer available to internalise change as a threat to my identity.’ Deep breath.”

Matt Taylor

‘Why don’t I quit instead.’ former Wallabies defence coach ‘reading the room’

Cousin It’ (Laurie Fisher)

‘Well I couldn’t be any worse than the last guy.’ Graciously accepting the suddenly vacant Wallabies defence coaching role.

Chuckles McKellar

“It’s easy to talk about and put on a whiteboard … it’s about having the composure and skill set to execute that under pressure.”

“We were pretty filthy about how we performed in San Juan,”

“We didn’t win the collisions and didn’t have a thirst to win the collisions. You’ve got to stick tight; it’s Test footy, it’s hard.”

“You’ve got two choices, bitch and moan and blame others or stick tight, stick together and take on board the feedback.”

Deeds over words gents. Deeds over words.

‘For god’s sake, give em a hand!’

FORSAKE US NOT.

Well if a week is a long time in politics, two weeks after a bad loss is an eternity in rugby for our men’s national side. I have attached the Hossary again for those slow learners among you, basically everyone outside of NSW I figure.

The Wallaroos v The Black Ferns

Coverage & Kick-off 12:45pm AEST. Saturday 27 August, at Adelaide Oval. Live, ad-free and on-demand on Stan Sport and Channel 9.

Our Wallaroos kick us off first when they face the Black Ferns in their second meeting. Coach Jay Tregonning has recalled forwards Liz Patu and Grace Hamilton into the starting side, as well as an all new front row as he looks for a better showing from the side.

To my eye the Wallaroos could use some of our 7s ladies in the backs to provide that skill and spark needed to compete with the impressive Black Ferns, let alone the NH powerhouses of women’s rugby.

Good to see former skipper Hamilton back in the run-on side and I expect a better showing form the side, but will it be enough?

Fearless Prediction: No, currently our girls don’t make enough use of what ball they get. The Wallaroos will be better for sure, but it’s the Black Ferns by 20.

Wallaroos: Liz Patu – Reds  Adiana Talakai – Waratahs, Eva Karpani – Waratahs, Atasi Lafai – Waratahs, Michaela Leonard – Brumbies, Emily Chancellor – Waratahs, Shannon Parry (c) – Reds, Grace Hamilton – Waratahs, Iliseva Batibasaga – Waratahs, Arabella McKenzie – Waratahs, Ivania Wong – Reds, Siokapesi Palu* – Brumbies, Georgina Friedrichs – Waratahs, Bienne Terita* – Aussie Sevens, Pauline Pilae-Rasambale – Waratahs Reserves Ashley Marsters – Rebels, Emily Robinson – Waratahs, Bridie O’Gorman – Waratahs, Kaitlan Leaney – Waratahs, Piper Duck – Waratahs, Layne Morgan – Waratahs, Trilleen Pomare – Western Force, Lori Cramer – Waratahs 

Black Ferns: Pip Love, Luka Connor, Amy Rule, Maiakawanakaulani Roos, Joanah Ngan Woo, Alana Bremner, Kendra Reynolds, Kennedy Simon co-captain, Ariana Bayler, Ruahei Demant – co-captain, Ayesha Leti-I’iga, Chelsea Semple, Logo-I-Pulotu Lemapu Atai’i (Sylvia) Brunt, Ruby Tui, Grace Steinmetz Reserves Natalie Delamare, Krystal Murray, Santo Taumata, Chelsea Bremner, Charmaine McMenamin, Arihiana Marino-Tauhinu, Renee Holmes, Hazel Tubic

The Orange Ones v The Catholics

Adelaide Oval – Coverage from 3:00PM. Kick off 3:35PM AEST Live, ad-free and on-demand on Stan Sport and Channel 9.

Referee: Paul Williams (NZR) Assistant Referee 1: Ben O’Keeffe (NZR) Assistant Referee 2: Tual Trainini (FFR) TMO: Brendon Pickerill (NZR)

The team is out and for me if they can start to put some respect back into the jersey that’ll be enough for me this weekend. Regardless of who’s been picked where and whatever opinion that generates, I simply want our XXIII to account for themselves well, leave the field spent, heads held up high and be able to say ‘we had a crack’. That will be enough for this fan anyhow.

Go well you Wallabies.

Fearless Prediction: Wallabies by 1.

Australia: James Slipper (c), Folau Fainga’a, Allan Alaalatoa, Rory Arnold, Matt Philip, Jed Holloway, Fraser McReight, Rob Valetini, Nic White, Noah Lolesio, Marika Koroibete, Hunter Paisami, Len Ikitau, Tom Wright, Reece Hodge Replacements David Porecki, Scott Sio, Taniela Tupou, Darcy Swain, Rob Leota, Pete Samu, Tate McDermott, Andrew Kellaway

Springboks (15-1): Damian Willemse; Warrick Gelant, Lukhanyo Am, Damian de Allende, Makazole Mapimpi; Handre Pollard, Faf de Klerk; Duane Vermeulen, Pieter-Steph du Toit, Siya Kolisi (capt); Lood de Jager, Eben Etzebeth; Frans Malherbe, Joseph Dweba, Ox Nche Replacements: Malcolm Marx, Steven Kitshoff, Vincent Koch, Franco Mostert, Kwagga Smith, Jaden Hendrikse, Elton Jantjies, Frans Steyn.

The Nearlies v The FISMs

Orange Theory Stadium, Christchurch 5:35PM Kick off 5:45PM AEST on Stan

Referee: Nika Amashukeli (GRU) Assistant Referee 1: Nic Berry (RA) Assistant Referee 2: Damon Murphy (RA) TMO: Brian MacNeice (IRFU)

No matter how much he might try it seems Fozzie B Bear just can’t shake the looming shadow & presence of Mr Razor Robertson, with this test being played in Razor’s South Isle backyard of Christchurch.

Win, but not well and those Cantabrians will be baying for blood. Heaven forbid they lose and the six members of the Kiwi National guard will be called in to extricate Mr Bear from down south – ‘kwik, minn thu kinnoos’. It will take nothing less than a ruthless, resounding and near flawless ABs win to allow FBB to keep the wolves from his coaching door.

As for Los FISMs, Cheik has made a number of changes to the side that pummelled us two weeks back and the Kiwis would do well not to underestimate this current iteration of Argie players. They like a scrap, are big, passionate and under Cheik, very dangerous.

Fearless Prediction: Pumas by 6 – just for shuts un guggles. Pass me the popcorn please.

All Blacks: Jordie Barrett, Will Jordan, Rieko Ioane, David Havili, Caleb Clarke, Richie Mo’unga, Aaron Smith; Ardie Savea, Sam Cane (capt), Shannon Frizell, Scott Barrett, Sam Whitelock, Tyrel Lomax, Samisoni Taukei’aho, Ethan de Groot. Reserves: Codie Taylor, George Bower, Fletcher Newell, Tupou Vaa’i, Akira Ioane, Finlay Christie, Stephen Perofeta, Quinn Tupaea.

Argentina: Juan Cruz Mallia, Emiliano Boffelli, Matias Moroni, Matias Orlando, Lucio Cinti, Santiago Carreras, Gonzalo Bertranou, Pablo Matera, Marcos Kremer, Juan Martin Gonzalez, Tomas Lavanini, Matias Alemanno, Joel Sclavi, Julian Montoya (capt), Thomas Gallo. Reserves: Santiago Socino, Mayco Vivas, Eduardo Bello, Guido Petti, Santiago Grondona, Tomas Cubeli, Tomas Albornoz, Santiago Cordero

‘Not this shit again’ Gilbert & Sanchez hate opera too, while ‘The Other Isi’ nods off.

JUST SING IT ALREADY.

Enough is a bloody-nuff!

Take a knee Gaggers and lean in close while I whisper you a secret. I am not a fan of our national anthem. It’s shrill, pompous, waffles, smug and well, just plain dull. Sure I sing it when the time comes, but rouse my spirits, gird my loins, make me weep, or want to run through a brick wall for the glorification of the land of my birth? Not so much.

My question today without notice, why then, do those charged with appointing singers to perform said anthem at Rugby games almost always lean towards operatic performers to carry the damn tune? To sing it in such a manner, to my mind, simply reinforces those negative qualities of the wretched thing.

How many times have you as a fan spent money, settled in, donned the clobber, imbibed a few and are ready, primed, oiled & pumped. You are amped and would gladly take the field and lay it all on the line in support our Orange Warriors cause. But then out trots Dame Nelly Wannabe or Placido DaDingo, they hit that first note, a sense of dread and foreboding seeps in, with the creeping awareness that we must now endure the equivalent of 45 seconds of musical constipation and all that passion and desire you felt instead channels from ‘once more unto the breech’, to the relief of ‘no more shall thou screach‘! You take your seat deflated and confused.

I recall a time when our anthem was just ‘sung’. It was sung free of theatrics or pomposity. It was sung with honesty, hope, warmth and humility. Stripped back, accompanied by a guitar or just the lone voice of an Aussie we could all relate to, sung in a manner we could as a people truly ‘feel’ & embrace. I recall a petition to RA a few years back for four ‘blokes’ just to ‘sing’ our anthem. The petition numbers were smashed, the gents sung and the crowd roared (there’s an idea). I also fondly recall John Williamson following the singing of the respective anthems perform ‘Waltzing Matilda’ live at a ground, as a pre-cursor to the Haka as a typical Australian act of begrudging respect and defiance before the sheep-rooters do their little dance. Sure we did (and still do) often lose, but we stood up, puffed up our chests and said ‘you might beat us, but we won’t lay down’. Compare that emotion to that experienced by the operatic singing a song that has ‘girt’ in it. FFS ‘girt’, really?

So perhaps today, you might attach a clip of your favourite rugby version of our anthem in the comments below and I bet none of them have an operatic performance at their heart.

Who knows, perhaps everything old is new again and we should return to ‘Waltzing Matilda’ as it is once again ‘timely’ for the days we find ourselves in: homelessness, cost of living pressures, incarceration rates and mental health issues. Banjo was well ahead of his time it seems.

‘Up yours Hoss. No one’s even heard of Adelaide anyway!’ RA Marketing pigeon.

HUH?

So it seems that none of the orange ones or any of its representatives can leave Planet Wallaby to promote the previous series v The Soap Dodgers, Dr Evil ends up doing all the promotion single- handedly. The same lot can’t fly to Adelaide to help promote the match against the DDFs, in a city that can barely spell ‘rgbuy’ let alone know there is a test on this weekend, as they are ensconced within the Gold Coast camp performing ‘reviews’ of the failed FIMS campaign. Just how long does it take to say ‘you were all shite, but it’s ok we sacked JOC’ at one of these reviews anyway? But a few Wallabies can show their faces to help the launch of two NBA stores in Sydney with some guy called Jamal Murray from some Seppo NBA side and RA via rugby.com.au just happens to have a camera crew there as well?

Seriously – what the holy fudge is the marketing pigeon at RA doing?

RA is just plain lucky neither SA side will feature in the AFL finals this weekend or they could have had a tad embarrassing ‘no show’ from the SA public for the fixture.

I am sure this Seppo guy is some big shot on $25 mill per (ain’t they all) and I am equally sure the Wallabies players involved own Farcebook & Intsagram accounts went virussie with their images and the reflected glory of being in the presence of said Seppo baller – but so what? Imagine if the marketing pigeon or anyone at RA (it can’t be Natho – what with car parking duties, CEO of cutlery allocation for parties, tea lady, lunch boy & cadet journo, it’s a full schedule) put a fraction of that energy, time, resource or thought into doing the same for the TEST against THE WORLD CHAMPIONS in Adelaide this week?

Having said all of the above I note Lex Marinos acknowledges Camp Wallaby is a promotional and performance black hole and the concept will be cancelled for next year. He goes on to say:

“We are aware from a business perspective of the commercial and fan engagement value of having the team ‘in market’ all week.”

Hoo-bloody-ray. Better late than never I guess.

‘You heard it here first eventually’

Friday’s Goss with Hoss.

That’s a lot of sausage

Not something anyone has ever said of me personally, but instead a story about a reported 170kg of meat devoured by the FISMs last Wednesday at a traditional ‘asado’ (Argentine BBQ) in Christchurch. 1news.co.nz has more, but a word of warning to Christchurchians, maybe avoid swimming near any ‘outlets’ for a while.

Beware the Argentinian ‘submarine’.

Australian Rugby Championship (ARC)

In what hopefully may be the catalyst for the relaunch of a proper third tier comp, the 2022 ARC will be held in Adelaide from 28th Sept to 04th October. Various teams have already confirmed their squads for the upcoming comp. Let’s hope RA use the momentum from this for a full blown ‘NRC’ style comp in 2023. Our code can only benefit from it.

Go well NSW Country Cockatoos.

Banish the daft, pass the draft?

It seems RA suits are regular G&GR readers folks. Many of the ideas ‘floated’ at last weeks SRP conference can have their origins traced to this hallow pages. Including banning the yellow card for ‘deliberate’ knockdowns, a player draft to promote free movement amongst SRP sides and a ‘scrum shot clock’

And with Sky TV NZ reportedly ‘on board’ it would seem you can teach ol’ dogs new tricks, especially when money ‘speaks’. More from SMH’s Georgina Robbo.

Nearly a Wallaby?

Strange days indeed, most peculiar mumma.

Former 29 Cap, Nearly All Black player Tawera Kerr-Barlow, born in Melbourne and playing in France tells stuff.co.nz he wants to play for the Wallabies if the phone call to him should ever be made.

Interesting. Was Mo’unga born here as well? Their current props were…

$1200 bucks a pop? I’m not Yowie!

SMH reports that some corporate box tickets are $1200 per person for next week’s Wallabies test at the newly minted Allianz stadium. The cheapest general admission ticket is $249 per & for that very price I got platinum tickets in Brissie for the second Soap Dodgers test & behind the Wallabies bench at that! For a side that could slip to an all time low ranking, pending this weekends results, that’s $1200 I shan’t be shelling out anytime soon.

Until next week.

Hoss – out

Rugby

A Masters from the Uni of Life, majoring in BS. Call the Hunter Valley home and a passionate Wallabies, Tah's and then the also-rans of Oz rugby next. Yearn for the days when uppitty Kiwis knew their place - losing in dying stages of Bledisloe's or as garbage collectors.

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