Author: Nutta

Hey Cobbers, For those with lives and thereby not paying attention to recent posts, and are now wondering WTF this is all about, well during our mutual festival of rolling Corona-meets-Christmas shut-down I’m revisiting, plagarising and updating my previous observations on the various attributes of the folk one may meet on the atypical rugby park. I’m lucky enough to have played rugby in some pretty obscure places around the world over the years and despite variations in language, standards, styles and law interpretations, it’s remarkable how similar the game and its participants were no matter where I found myself pulling…

Hello Cobbers, Last post, we rediscovered the resident pontificators of the whole show; Props. Now we split the difference and chat about the glue holding The Row together – the ubiquitous No2. Hanging between the twin philosophers of 1 & 3 the bearer of the no2 – the Hooker – is the undisputed scary weirdo of the Front-row. While still possessively regarded as part of the “The Row” and gladly included in Props Night shenanigans, Hookers are unlike the more sophisticated and refined Props by being at their most-merry when up to their elbows in mud, guts and blood of…

Hello Cobbers. Some years back I reflected on the types of folk I have met playing rugby. So in our annual dead-spot, amid thrice-re-booked Covid weddings, betwixt Office Christmas and/or New Year’s parties and before pre-season comes to spoil the parties, I thought to dust those assessments off, freshen them up a little and stick ’em up again. Thus over coming weeks I will post updated ‘Rugby Positions Revisited’ as an attempt at explaining rugby positions to the uninitiated. To that end, I do not claim the following as original work. A lot of it is. But much has been…

Hello Cobbers Well this little Prop just could not sleep because his thoughts were way too deep, his mind had gone out for a stroll and fallen down the rabbit hole… I write this after watching the end to end, 8x try expression of exuberance and joy at Eden Park that, whilst the good guys lost to the denizens of Mordor yet again, did prove that smart running rugby is alive and well if you want to play it. But here we are for what feels like almost a completely different sport. We are in Cape Town for the Decider, the…

Hey Cobbers IsiZulu sami sibi. Sanibona! Ngiyanemukela! Well here we are for match 2 of 3 of the series to be played out at Cape Town. The Lions have won all six of their starts so far on tour and look to continue the trend here today and secure the series. With Gatland picking from the enviable position of winning the first test for only the fourth time in the 12 Lions vs Sth Africa series to-date, Chris Harris, Conor Murray and Mako Vunipola come in to the starting XV for the Lions. In comparison for the Bokke, Leicester’s Jasper…

Hey Cobbers I thought to do a short piece on taking penalty kicks versus chasing tries from lineout drives. Why? Because we have a national Captain in Mr Hooper who has been the recipient of much Punter-Rage in recent years because of an apparent predilection to forego “sensible” (ie higher-percentage) 3pts penalty shots and instead chase the higher risk/reward of a lineout-originated driving-maul try option. In the French series this seemed to change. Now to be fair, rational folk understand he is 99% operating on coaches instructions. But let’s not permit facts to interrupt a good sledging rant yeh? Next thing…

Finally, after 4x warm-up Franchise games and a Claytons test we see South Africa turn away from dealing with the frivolities of a worldwide plague, riots and the disintegration of civil order to grapple with the really important stuff in life – the first test of Springboks against the Lions. On what looked like a clear, sunny and fantastic day in Cape Town, Aussie Nic Berry blew time-on in-front of a raucous crowd of zero and Dan Biggar got proceedings underway with the now common-place No2 kick to the front-edge of the Bokke 22m. A clean catch and a pod…

Gudday Cobbers, Sorry about the Yr8 French, but Round2 of 3 in the Trophée des Bicentenaires was played out tonight in Melbourne at AAMI Park with live, ad-free coverage provided on 9Gem with parallel (and slightly more extended) coverage on Stan Sport. Just take a moment there – How good is that?!?!? After years of subscription-hostage crap on Fux for the garbage coverage seen especially last year (undermining value???) this is a veritable smorgasbord of choice! I call that out loud and proud right now; Well Done RA! I don’t say that too often… Essentially the Wobblies ran the same…

I am the first to admit I’m a lucky man regarding a great many things in life. And one of those beautiful things I am too lucky to be blessed with is the privilege of being associated with our game in some small ways. From 1979, when I first tucked a ball on a muddy and miserable day in sub-glacial Tumut and ran towards other lads from Cootamundra (who were likely as equally refrigerated and terrified as I), through even to now, I am deeply conscious of the beauty of the trough at which I stand on the edge, pull…

For those wondering wtf this is all about, during our mutual Festival of Corona Lock-down I’m periodically revisiting and plagarising old articles and updating my observations on the various attributes of the folk one may meet on the a-typical rugby park. I’m lucky enough to have played rugby in some pretty obscure places around the world over the years and despite variations in language, standards, styles and law interpretations, it’s remarkable how similar the actual participants are no matter where I found myself strapping on the studs (steady on…). So far we have reconfirmed that Props are the resident philosophers and moral…

Last time we rediscovered 1&3. So now we split the difference… Hanging between the twin philosophers of 1 & 3, Hooker is the weird member of the Fronties-family. The merry little chap in the No2 jersey generally spends his time muttering to himself, dreaming up dastardly ways to murder enemies (not always opponents and often Backs on his own side) and they have strange penchants for interpretative dance of which we may catch glimpses at lineout time when preparing to throw lineouts, in dingy bars in the small hours of the morning and in the dressing sheds when he thinks no-one…

Hello Cobbers. I know, I know, I know… I am revisiting the past, but only because I feel we need something to whinge about and for a bit of a giggle… You see every now and again someone is silly/inebriated/idiotic/demented enough to ask for my opinion on something. Fools. And every now and again I’m asked by non-rugby people (they exist) about my opinion regarding the types of people you may find playing Rugby. So, in the immortal words of my Old Man “Be careful what you ask for Boy because you just might get it”. So I’ll share my…

It’s one of my favourite scenes of all time; “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his Brothers Keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger, all who attempt to poison and destroy my Brothers.” It actually isn’t Ezekiel 25:17. But it’s close enough. Why am I sprouting Jules the…

Oh how Saturday night felt familiar. I ranted and raved on Saturday night and into Sunday and then into Monday – just like previous years. I railed at the tv screen with indignant cries of “Oh F… me Peyper! What game are you watching!?!?” – just like previous annual episodes. I was like so many other thousands of Wobbly rugby fans all over the nation full of loathing, gnashing of teeth and playing our seasonal game of Déjà vu. So then I simply drank more and chased dreamless bliss… I had to wait until today to try and strip out…

Red Wine Rugby… let it mature a bit. And it helps when you have a good cellar… Following the first Irish test, a few fellow pundits on this noble site were effusive in their excitement over a lot of stuff; a win, quality of defence, maturity at critical moments, effectiveness of play etc. Amongst the joy was positivity around the depth off the bench and a number of players including young Tupou’s performance. And I well-support the enthusiasm. I think the yungfella did well especially when considering the calibre of the talent he was scrumming against. But the enthusiasm to…

Just gently reminding folk that this is not original work. This is a caboodle of connotation and curlicue cobbled together from over my 5 odd decades of lies, deceit and lucky escapes playing this wonderful game the world over and, oddly enough, listening to the same laughs, gripes and frustrations regardless of the language, accent or geography – from Stuttgart, Constantinople, Glasgow, Limerick or Wagga and many indiscernible places in-between. It’s nothing more than the random thoughts of a never-was (so can’t be a ‘has-been’) mixed in with outright plagiarism of those who clearly know better as we consider the…

Continuing the continuum of a Frontie now considering the Fairies; meandering among the inexplicable… This week we contemplate the guy called First Five, Five Eight, Fly Half, Outside Half or any one of a plethora of idiotic, nonsensical names that have little in-common with each other then conjoined to mean even less. What this confirms is that no one really knows, cares or comprehends what the guy who wears No10 is there for. Personally I prefer the term Standoff because I find them, well, standoffish. Positioned next in the backline after the No9, the Standoff has the 2nd highest touch-count in the…

The little Prop just could not sleep because his thoughts were way too deep, his mind had gone out for a stroll and fallen down the rabbit hole… Continuing the adventure with Half, Scrum-Half, Half-Back, Smart-Half, Half-Hole… whatever. They wear 9. Some may find it surprising, but I like 9. The true first-principles of their role heartens me on so many levels. If only the incumbents were generally worthy of the love… See the 9 is a midget among giants and it truly takes a mad bravery to do as they do. And thus they deserve love. They carry tremendous…

Continuing the anti-intellectual meandering by the never-was-so-can’t-be-a-has-been, and turning to discuss the enigma closing out the back Row, securing the back of the lineout and locking the scrum together; therefore clearly explaining why this joker is called No8. Unfortunately there’s really not much to say about this fella as they are simply excess baggage. And they know it. But they are good fun to have about. For instance, No8 is supposed to jump at the back of the lineout. But given bugger-all Hookers can actually see, let alone throw that far, it’s more a training-paddock oddity than game-time reality. Truth…

And the journey continues… This week it’s the 6&7. Originally called Wing-Forwards, the guys wearing 6&7 understandably developed a complex and agitated for a name change. Everyone else agreed because Wing-Forward rhymed with nothing. That’s why they are now called Flankers. Flankers are interesting because they are such a contradiction. They will tell you they are indispensable. They will also tell you about the breathtaking spread of skills they are expected to possess. However anytime anyone cops a yellow card, the first person benched is a Flanker and in-terms of demonstrated skill-spread well let’s reflect for a moment on the…