Unless you were living under a rock for the past week, you’ll be aware that boy-band One Direction were in Melbourne on Sunday to perform at the Logies. What you may not know is that they stopped by the AFL and took a picture with a Cleo Bachelor of the Year nominee – no idea who he is though. I’m not a massive One Direction fan, so I’ve had to match these up by hairstyle – sorry to any 1D fans if I got them wrong!
Klever Kurtley
We’ve discussed Kurtley’s insatiable passion for exposing life’s existential dilemmas in previous weeks. This week he has truly outdone himself.
Kurt was “just relaxing” (not drinking!!) on Tuesday night, the night before a heavy training day, and only 5 days after a heavy defeat.
* Gettin’ serious for a sec: Why is it ok to imply someone is homeless or destitute based solely on their appearance, to 40K people? Is it SO different from calling them derogatory names in front of a packed SFS? Or 100K people = a packed MCG? And is calling someone ugly in front of your tens (or hundreds) of thousands of followers really fair payback for someone with 100 followers who thinks you’re a bit of a tool, or you look a bit old in a photo?
Some of the people he was “relaxing” with were posing for photos using the “blue steel” facial expression from Zoolander. Konsiderate Kurt wanted to inform his followers of the appropriate term to use to describe a 2 ft girth × 1 ft long bundle of steel.
Unfortunately his followers are not so enlightened, and many assumed he was casting aspersions on the sexuality of his teammate by using a disgusting and offensive term. So he covered up his almost faux pas brilliantly by passing it off as a Lipdogg style typo.
(Incidentally, I’ve tried to type “maggot” and get my phone to autocorrect it to a misspelled archaic measure of steel, and I can’t do it. I wonder how in his “relaxed” state he managed it)
What I’ve learned from this week: What goes on tour, goes on twitter!
Tweets of the week
James Stannard (@chuckystannard) answered a question the way we really wanted to answer it. Now, before you media monitors at the Force and/or the ARU tell him he shouldn’t have said it, ask yourself: Is he right?
Also at the Force, David Pocock (@davidpocock) took one of easily the cutest photos of the year, then Nathan Sharpe ruined it just a little bit for him.
Elsewhere in the provinces, bromances were blossoming, birds were singing, and there was love all around us. That’s right, rugby went just a teensy bit Brokeback. 
The Lipman tweet
The Lipman tweet for this week goes to Sam Wykes for his commentary on Seal from The Voice. 
Waratweet of the week
A very late entry from Sarel Pretorius came in. Thanks for thanking us for your birthday wishes champ. Especially since your last tweet to anyone was 45 days ago!
Interview Bingo
