Reader Warning: There is so much rugby news today, you may suffer inflammation of the retina and slight swelling of the medulla oblongata: caused by rugby stimulus overload.
Good evening, good morning, g’day and welcome to a bursting Fridays Rugby News. Get hydrated, get comfy and let’s get going. Today we start with an objective preview of the Reds v Tahs game in: ‘Mumma’s boys?’. Check out the rest of the rounds matches that really don’t matter in: ‘The games that really don’t matter.’ Preview Round #3 of SRW with: ‘Now we’re talking!’. Draw a line in the sand for rugby supremacy with: ‘Mass debating to end?’ Then I encourage you all to dig deep for a worthy cause, with: ‘A bit rich?’ We publish an overseas based fans, email to G&GR in: ‘MARGA’. Before dropping the microphone on another rugby week with: ‘Friday’s Goss’ with Hoss’, guaranteed to leave you buzzing: just like a night out with Stuart MacGill, sans the kidnapping.
Mumma’s boys?
Saturday 15 March 7:35 pm AEDT – Queensland Reds v NSW Waratahs at Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane, on Stan Sport and the Nine Network
What is it that makes the Queensland Reds players just so, well, soft?
Do you think it’s congenital?
First we had the ‘cyclone’ that ended up barely being scattered showers and a puff of wind. Then we had Queenslanders complaining about no electricity? For a state that only got electricity in 2003, I’d just be thankful and pipe down. Next it will be ‘banjo strings are too pricey now Cletus’ and that divorcing your wife / second cousin, involves ‘too much scribblin’ on de white bark with the word stick‘.
Which brings us to their rugby side. Just what has happened to the once mighty Queensland Reds?
These poor QPRQ dears seem to miss their mummies so very much. So difficult it is flying business class around the world. Being waited on hand and foot and being paid plenty to play a game they love. Not only that, but they play in fabulous venues around amazing countries and New Zealand as well. When all they really want is to have their mummies tuck them with a a warm milk, their favourite blanky and a soothing goodnight peck on the forehead.
You only have to look at articles out of Kleenex HQ, sorry, ‘Suncorp’ this week, to see the feeble fortitudinous fragility of this lot. First we had Reds prop, yes prop, Alex Hodgman telling somebody other than Nathan Williamson at rugby.com.au that: ‘it’s been a long tour. It feels like we’ve been away for a bit, so I just want to get home’. If Nutta were dead, he’d be turning in his grave! A prop, the pillars of power, the bearers of brawn. the brotherhood of bash, the gurus of grunt, saying: ‘I just want to go home’. Well guess what Axel? The Tahs piggies will get you home early on Saturday night. Of course you’ll be travelling in reverse and like an old flame, have your ankles up near your ears and squealing, hoping for an intervening whistle to stop the carnage.
Next from the two-ply team, we had the news that ‘The Buttocks’ (young prop Maximus de Gluteus) has been ‘rested’ for this match as part of player management? Rested from what exactly? Being 20 years old and playing no rugby? Rested so he can bench press a small Chinese hatchback in the gym? Ooooooooohhhhhhhh scary. Don’t tackle him, he can lift an MG. Handy for oil changes. Bugger all use on the field though.
Let’s just call it what it is FFS: by ‘rested’, coach Wendy Matthews means ‘sparing The Buttocks the ignominy of being fed his own taint, without sauce, when The Bull, Porky & The Abattoir completely dish them up on Saturday night’.
There is a sense of fear and pending gloom permeating the corridors of QRU at present and with some justification. They were dreadful against the Crusaders. So much so, they made a really poor Crusaders team, coming last at the time, look like world beaters! Could it be the weight of expectation is crushing this young side? Expectations they are the best team in Oz. Expectations that their coach is the anointed one for gold? Expectations that they only need to turn up to win? Or could this fear run deeper? Coursing through their veins, paralysing performances, clouding decision making and suffocating them? Could they actually be suffering genuine fear of the Tahs, or perhaps even a form of PTahSD?
What happened to those rough and tumble legendary Reds teams of yore? You know the same that tough lot who tried to punch Campo in the head, when he was lying flat on his back and couldn’t defend himself. I mean they once had a coach called ‘Knuckles’ FFS. They had teams full of rugby legends, like John Eales and probably some other guys too. But here we are in 2025 and what a sad state of affairs rugby in the QPRQ has become. Excuse city. Props ‘wanting to go home’. Fake injuries. ‘Other props ‘rested’ and an organisation that dives, dodges, ducks and dives, more than Dutto on climate change. If it wasn’t so sad, so terribly sad, it’d be funny.
Fearless Prediction: It’s Tah-time baby. Tahs by 38. Mummy won’t save you reds lot now.
REDS (1-15): Sef Fa’agase, Matt Faessler, Zane Nonggorr, Josh Canham, Ryan Smith, Seru Uru, Fraser McReight, Harry Wilson, Tate McDermott (c), Tom Lynagh, Tim Ryan, Hunter Paisami, Filipo Daugunu, Lachie Anderson, Heremaia Murray Replacements: Richie Asiata, Alex Hodgman, Jeffery Toomaga-Allen, Angus Blyth, Joe Brial, Kalani Thomas, Harry McLaughlin-Phillips, Dre Pakeho
WARATAHS (1-15): Angus Bell, Dave Porecki, Taniela Tupou, Hugh Sinclair (c), Ben Grant, Rob Leota, Charlie Gamble, Leafi Talataina, Teddy Wilson, Lawson Creighton, Max Jorgensen, Joey Walton, Henry O’Donnell, Triston Reilly, Andrew Kellaway Replacements: Mahe Vailanu, Tom Lambert, Siosifa Amone, Felix Kalapu, Jamie Adamson, Langi Gleeson, Jack Grant, Tane Edmed
Referee: James Doleman Assistant Referees: Marcus Playle, Fraser Hannon TMO: Richard Kelly
The games that really don’t matter.
It’s round #5 of SRP this weekend. All team news in Happy’s Thursday Rugby News.
Friday 14 March 5:05 pm AEDT – Highlanders v Hurricanes at Forsyth Barr Stadium, Wellington on Stan Sport
Let’s be honest, who really cares? The Highlanders are the Rebels of NZ and the Canes can’t beat their ol’ skippers new side. Neither will make the top #6, in fact the Kiwis are lucky it is a top 6, so at least one of their sides might sneak into the finals. #dowereallyneedthem? #superrugbyoz.
The Canes will be smarting from last week’s loss, but need to be ”minds on’ for this one, otherwise a dangerous Highlanders could just spring an upset.
Fearless Prediction: Canes by 9 in a fast finishing, high scoring affair.
Referee: Angus Mabey Assistant Referees: Mike Winter, Warwick Lahmert TMO: Glenn Newman
Friday 14 March 7:35 pm AEDT – ACT Brumbies v Fijian Drua at GIO Stadium, Canberra on Stan Sport
I said last week, hoodoos are made to be broken and the Brumbies are the hoodoo gurus. Beating the blues at no less than Eden Park, Australia’s rugby graveyard.
The Ponies loosies were exceptional last week, as too was the set piece and the finishers can take a bow. If anything the set piece intensity went up a notch when they came on. Billy Pollard looks to be a man in a mas body now and was uber impressive. But for mine the trio of Hooper, Scott and Shaw were exceptional. Add to that a very good Frost and Cale and the Brumbies forwards have suddenly played themselves into form. All of this with Sideshow Bob Valentini soon to return as well. Further bolstering a formidable pack.
Surprisingly for me, coach Larkham has opted to start Noah Lolesio in his return from injury, forcing my MoTM last week, Declan Meredith, to the pine.
For all of that, the Drua are a very dangerous and capable side and unlucky not to be closer to 4-0 this season, as opposed to 1-3. The test, as always, will be the Drua’s form on the road. Although a Friday night in the ACT in March, is hardly a Friday night in June. Look for this game to be very close, more so than people realise.
Fearless Prediction: Brumbies by 5
Referee: Jordan Way Assistant Referees: Graham Cooper, Matt Kellahan TMO: James Leckie
Saturday 15 March 2:35 pm AEDT – Crusaders v Western Force at Apollo Projects Stadium, Christchurch ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
As if playing the Crusaders in Crusader-ville isn’t hard enough. How bout you throw in the longest haul in SRP and then take out 6, yep 6, of your regular starters as well. This week the Force are without: Nic The Lip White, Ben Donno, Hamish Stewart, The Bulldog Tizzano , all on an RA mandated ‘break’. Then throw in the injured duo Dylan Pietsch and the guy with more names than a Tasmanian electoral roll, Nick Champion de Crispigny and the challenge is magnified exponentially.
As for the Saders, it’s hard to tell just what form they are in. Sure they’ve got talent, but so badly did the Reds blur the form line last week with their own Barry Crocker, its hard to tell. Is this Saders side any good? I don’t really think so. But they surely are too good for a Force side missing 40% of it’s regular run-on side. Aren’t they?
Fearless Prediction: They certainly should be. Crusaders by 19.
Referee: Damon Murphy Assistant Referees: Jeremy Markey, George Myers TMO: Brett Cronan
Saturday 15 March 5:05 pm AEDT – Chiefs v Blues at FMG Stadium Waikato, Hamilton ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
Will the real Auckland Blues please stand up? When was the last time you saw a Blues pack man-handled, like they were last week. They were slow to the breakdown, poor at set piece and when Barrett-san went off, looked loss in attack. So one might say that Stern Vern may have exacted a fair degree of training park punishment this week.
As for the D-Mac-less Chuffs, well Fiji deservedly rolled them in the steaming severity of Lautoka. Indeed one wonders how much the travel and the exertion of last weeks outing, might sap the usual high tempo, fast finishing flurry of the previously imperious Chief’s side?
One things for sure, Cotter will have the Blues smarting from last weeks capitulation and they will be out for their pound of flesh this week. The Chiefs will look o put pace and tempo on the ball and out-flank the big Blues side. However, the Chiefs may also be a touch ragged at 70 minutes onwards. Can the Chiefs get in front and hold on? Or will the Blues boss them around and swing them like a stray and tired old cat? With no Barrett-san, do the Blues have enough points in them to get the job done?
Should be a cracking game and again, the outcome going right down to the wire.
Fearless prediction: Travel fatigue and the sapping Fijian conditions to be the nail in the Chiefs coffin. Blues by 3.
Referee: Ben O’Keeffe Assistant Referees: Stu Curran, Jackson Henshaw TMO: Glenn Newman
Now We’re Talking!
Bumper round of SRW ahead, especially so with some 7’s royalty set to debut this weekend
Saturday 15 March 2:35 pm AEDT – Fijian Drua v ACT Brumbies at Churchill Park, Lautoka, on Stan Sport
This years comp has also been the closest in recent memory. teams are fitter. Have greater depth. And are playing a more expansive, skill heavy type of rugby. But as per last week, conditions in Lautoka are only made for one team to thrive.
Fearless Prediction: Drua by 13.
DRUA (1-15): Anasimeci Korovata, Loraini Senivutu, Tiana Robanakadavu, Fuga Ofakimalino, Carletta Yee, Rusila Nagasau, Nunia Daunimoala, Bitila Tawake, Setaita Railumu, Salanieta Kinita, Vitalina Naikore, Ema Adivitaloga, Merewairita Neivosa, Repeka Tove, Litiana Vueti Replacements: Keleni Marawa, Salanieta Nabuili, Vika Matarugu, Alfreda Fisher, Karalaini Naisewa, Kolora Lomani, Josivini Naihamu, Luisa Tisolo
BRUMBIES (1-15): Martha Fua, Katalina Amosa, Keia Mae Sagapolu Sanele, Ashley Fernandez, Easter Savelio, Siokapesi Palu (c), Chioma Enyi, Tabua Tuinakauvadra, Ella Ryan, Faitala Moleka, Biola Dawa, Merania Paraone, Gabrielle Petersen, Ashlea Bishop, Tia Hinds Replacements: Ella Hopper, Iroha Kishimoto, Hannah Stewart, Ana-lise Sio, Edwina Munns-Cook, Lily Bone, Jay Huriwai, Manua Moleka
Sunday March 16 3:05 pm AEDT – Queensland Reds v NSW Waratahs at Ballymore Stadium, on Stan Sport
This match is just as intriguing at the male equivalent. Perhaps even more so. Former tahs lining up for the Reds. Current 7’s superstars making their debuts i SRP, pushing for a RWC spot. This has the makings of a classic game of rugby. The Red v Blue aspect is almost incidental.
The Reds piggies shade the Tahs, but the Tahs loosies are better. Piper Duck is back as skipper and I bloody love how Emily Chancellor goes about her work. Always consistent and always at a high standard. The Tahs backs are electric with Miller, Friedrichs & Stewart all proven performers for sate and nation. But then again, Teagan Levy, Bella Nasser and one Charlotte Caslick are no slouches either.
rugby.com.au reports: Just like fellow Queenslanders Teagan Levi, Kahli Henwood and Bella Nasser last week, Caslick’s introduction will be the first step in her bid to crack Jo Yapp’s Test squad for October’s Rugby World Cup in England. However, Caslick has already gone a step further by declaring her intention to stay with the Reds for the remainder of their SMARTECH Super Rugby Women’s season.
I am away on the NSW north coast this weekend, but there’s no way in the world I am missing this match. Could be a classic.
Fearless Prediction: A blue pall descending over the QPRQ. Tahs by 2.
REDS (1-15): Bree-Anna Browne, Tiarna Molloy, Eva Karpani, Vineta Teutau, Tiarah Minns, Jemma Bemrose (c), Carola Kreis, Sarah Riordan, Layne Morgan, Carys Dallinger, Kahli Henwood, Shalom Sauaso, Teagan Levi, Caitlin Urwin, Lori Cramer Reserves: Zophronia Setu, Cristo Taufua, Charli Jacoby, Deni Ross, Bella Nasser, Nat Wright, Faythe Manera, Charlotte Caslick
WARATAHS (1-15): Bridie O’Gorman, Adiana Talakai, Faliki Pohiva, Kaitlan Leaney, Annabelle Codey, Leilani Nathan, Emily Chancellor, Piper Duck (c), Tatum Bird, Arabella McKenzie, Desiree Miller, Katrina Barker, Georgina Friedrichs, Maya Stewart, Waiaria Ellis Replacements: Millie Parker, Emily Robinson, Seneti Kilisimasi, Tahlia Morgan, Ruby Anderson, Tiarne Cavanagh, Nicole Nathan, Amelia Whitaker
Mass debating to end?
The time for endless debate regarding who are the true powerhouses of global rugby, is drawing nigh and about bloody time too.
News this week from both SMH scoop and Stan’s Inside Line regular, Iain Payten that an announcement on the loooooooong awaited Nations Cup will be confirmed around the BIL tour and will commence from 2026. And if true, what a cracking adventure awaits all rugby fans, with no ‘dead rubbers’.
In short, the 6N sides will play the RC sides, plus Fiji and Japan, spread across three matches in July and the rest across the Autumn NH tours
At the end of these fixtures will be a final of NH v SH, but also brilliantly, all other sides in meaningful playoffs, including:
- NH#1 v SH1 for individual rugby bragging rights.
- NH#2 v SH#2
- NH#3 v SH#3
- NH#4 v SH#4
- NH#5 v SH#5
- NH#6 v SH#6
Now all these finals fixtures will also carry ‘points’ and at their completion, the hemisphere with the most points will rightly claim bragging rights as the dominant hemisphere in rugby. Not only does the concept feed into the North v South competitive tensions (how many RWC’s has the north one again?), but also makes every test in the Nations Cup ‘live’ and with real consequences. You have the intra-competitive tensions within each hemisphere ‘block’ with all wanting to finish #1. But at the same time all working together at seasons end to claim the overall prize as a collective. It’s simply brilliant.
Add to that the intrigue of promotion and relegation from 2030 onwards, with teams like Georgia and Portugal coming into consideration and before then, the likely introduction of Japan & Fiji into an expanded RC, in what will effectively be a SH 6N competition.
I tell you Gaggers, I love the concept, love the structure and can’t wait for it to go from inception to reality. As long as the north never wins. Then I’ll hate the idea.
A bit rich?
If you listen really, really carefully, you may well hear the wind carry the whispers of the worlds smallest violin, as the afternoon breeze gently caresses your ears. And that sound will be a sad medley for poor billionaire, Sir Jim Ratcliffe.
You see, Sir Jimmy is owner of planet killing chemical company giant and NZR current / former contracted jersey sponsor ‘INEOS’. And it seems Sir Jimmy is so poor, he can’t possibly afford to honour the legally binding contract he has with NZR.
So tough have times come for Sir Jimmy, that staff at Manchester United, which he also owns and who’s worst player would be on a contract of higher value than that of his sponsorship deal with NZR, has had to stop ‘free lunches’ for MU staff.
You can read the full story at stuff.co.nz and I have started up a crowd funding page to help Sir Scumbag Jimmy keep the lights on: #doitforjimmydowntohislast$16billionusd.
Stick it to him NZR.
MARGA.
Regular readers will know and testify, that I am not one to blow my own horn. God knows I’ve tried. But when something like this arrives unsolicited, in the G&GR inbox and with the official POTUS seal, it simply must see the light of day. Ladies & gentlemen, I give you G&GR’s #1 American Fan and current President of the United States & Canada: Donald J Trump: Making Australian Rugby Great Again.
Well, folks, we’ve got a tremendous, tremendous show today. We’re talking rugby. That’s right. Rugby. A great sport. Some say the best sport. A tough sport. Almost as tough as the campaign trail, let me tell you. And I’ve been following it very closely. I read Hoss. Tremendous writer. Really fantastic. Some people are saying the best rugby writer. Maybe ever. Green and Gold Rugby? Great site. Not as big as Truth Social, but still, very good.
Now, I saw Friday’s Rugby News. Incredible. Really incredible. You had everything. Wallabies, Super Rugby, the whole deal. And let’s talk about the Wallabies for a second, folks, because—look—I love winners. I really do. And let’s be honest, the Wallabies? Not winning so much lately. Not good. Some people are saying it’s almost like a Biden administration—confused, going backwards, making bad decisions. But listen, they’ve got talent. They do. And if they play smart, play tough, play like winners, they could be great again. Maybe even Wallabies 2.0, I don’t know. We’ll see what happens.
And Super Rugby. What a competition. Australia and New Zealand—great rivalry. Some of the best players in the world. The Crusaders? They keep winning. Too much winning. Some people say too much, I say, ‘Hey, that’s what winners do.’ The Brumbies? Very good. Hardworking team. Probably should have won more titles. Maybe they need a little Trump-style deal-making to get across the line, folks. The Reds, Waratahs—historic teams. Gotta get tougher. Gotta want it more.
And Hoss. Look, this guy—fantastic coverage. He tells it like it is. A lot of people don’t like that. But you need the truth. Not fake news rugby. And let’s be honest, there’s a lot of fake news in rugby. You know it. I know it. The refs? Some of the worst calls I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot. Some of these guys, I don’t know where they’re getting their instructions from—maybe the UN, maybe the French, maybe Joe Biden, we don’t know. But Hoss, he calls it out. We like that.
So listen, folks, rugby is a great sport. It’s tough. It’s real. And Australia? You’ve got to get back to winning. You’ve got to make rugby great again. Maybe I’ll come down there. Maybe I’ll coach the Wallabies. Who knows? But until then, keep reading Hoss. Keep following Green and Gold Rugby. And most importantly—keep winning. Thank you. Thank you very much.
I am forever humbled.
Friday’s Goss’ with Hoss.
F-Mac on track.
Breaking news last night that one Fraser McReight is rumoured to have accepted a 3 year deal from RA to remain on Oz rugby until the end of 2028. If accurate, this tops an incredible week for the code and us fans. For me, F-Mac or Angus Bell are your next Wallaby leadership team for 5-7 years. Both are outstanding footballers and seem to be even more impressive young men.
McReight is alleged to have knocked back $1.3m pa from a Japanese offer, with RA’s offer whispered to leave him approx. $1m out of pocket compared to the Nippon offer. However the lure of the BIL tour, the Nations Cup, a home RWC and the chance to leave an indelible legacy of his own, F-Mac seems to be happy to forgo some coin and perhaps in doing so, etch his name (potentially) into Wallaby greatness over the coming years.
Well done RA and thankyou Fraser. All we need now is a coach.
Shop till ya drop.
Astute readers on here (????) may have noticed the addition of fan wear available for all Super Rugby Wallabies, BIL’s, 6N and even the All Black sides are now available on G&GR. That’s right, no matter what side you incorrectly follow, you can buy all your merchandise on here. From Jersey to Jumpsuit: Dog Bowl to Diary. If you want it, you’ll find it all on G&GR. Click on SHOP located in the heading menu, for more. Click on any item of interest and off you go.
The Melons in Coffs Harbour.
Owen ‘the melon’ Finegan has been named coach of the Australian Barbarians for their clash with Japan A at Coffs Harbour International Stadium on Saturday April 5th. Seems like a cracking location and some good rugby as well. Tickets are available from coffscoast.com.au/rugby
Frost bites.
Great news for the Ponies and Rugby fans alike with news Nick ‘Elsa’ Frost has re-signed with RA until the end of the 2027 season. There’s no doubt as good as Elsa is, his best years are still ahead and at 206cm and 120kgs his presence in Oz for a little while longer is a win for us all.
The Fez says yes.
Following on from Elsa’s good news is the re-signing of Matt The Fez Faessler also until the end of 2027. The Fez has done an awesome job of keeping the gold #2 jersey warm for Porky Porecki and our hooking stocks look rather healthy with Billy ‘the kid’ Pollard, Nic Dolly ‘Parton’, BPA & Mahe Vailanu also chomping at their heals.
Props aren’t dumb where Tom comes from.
A huge well done to Force prop, Dr Tom Robbo, who at age 30 and having a sabbatical last season, notches up SR game #100 this weekend. Still young in human years, but approaching 73 in prop years, Robbo started his career at the Tahs in 2016, was in gold at the end of that year, moved west in 21. Had a sabbatical in 24 and this year brings up the ton.
Not only has the popular and underrated prop about to crack the ton, but he also has: ” an undergraduate bachelor of medical science, I have a master of public health, and I have a master of philosophy, majoring in anaesthesia. I have a suspended doctorate of medicine from the Sydney of University, which I’ll finish off after rugby.’
A few more qualifications and he might just be ready to fill in on an occasional Friday when I am flying to Mar-a-lago to meet a fan.
Sully Shouts
A few of the G&GR team will be at the Reds loss this Saturday and invite you to drop by and say g’day. Sully even promises to shout a shandy and 6 straws, as part of his thanks for all our readers. If you look for bright pink leggings, a glitter mesh top, killer stilettos and inviting hands, Yowie might even give you a ‘Brisbane Hello” as well. #antibioticsrock
Until then. God bless my fellow Gagarians & Go the Tahs
Hoss – out
