Reader Warning There is so much rugby news today you may suffer inflammation of the retina and slight swelling of the medulla oblongata caused by rugby stimulus overload.
Good evening, good morning, g’day and welcome to a bursting Friday’s Rugby News. Get hydrated, get comfy and let’s get going. Today we start with an objective preview of the Reds v Tahs game in ‘Mumma’s boys?’. Check out the rest of the round’s matches that really don’t matter in ‘The games that really don’t matter.’ Preview Round #3 of SRW with ‘Now we’re talking!’. Draw a line in the sand for rugby supremacy with ‘Mass debating to end?’. Then I encourage you all to dig deep for a worthy cause with ‘A bit rich?’. We publish an overseas based fan’s email to G&GR in ‘MARGA’. Before dropping the microphone on another rugby week with ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, guaranteed to leave you buzzing like a night out with Stuart MacGill, sans the kidnapping.
Mumma’s boys?
Saturday, 15 March 7:35 pm AEDT – Queensland Reds v NSW Waratahs at Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane
What is it that makes Queensland Reds players just so, well, soft? Do you think it’s congenital?
First we had the ‘cyclone’ that ended up barely being scattered showers and a puff of wind. Then we had Queenslanders complaining about no electricity. For a state that only got electricity in 2003, I’d just be thankful and pipe down. Next it’ll be ‘banjo strings are too pricey now, Cletus’ and that divorcing your wife/second cousin, involves ‘too much scribblin’ on de white bark with the word stick‘.
Which brings us to their rugby side. Just what has happened to the once mighty Queensland Reds?
These poor QPRQ dears seem to miss their mummies so very much. It’s SO difficult flying business class around the world, waited on hand and foot and paid plenty to play a game they love. Not only that they play at fabulous venues in amazing countries (and New Zealand, as well!). When all they really want is to have their mummies tuck them in with a glass of warm milk, their favourite blanky and a soothing goodnight peck on the forehead.
You only have to look at articles out of Kleenex HQ (sorry, Suncorp) this week, to see the feeble fortitudinous fragility of this lot. First we had Reds prop, yes prop, Alex Hodgman telling somebody other than Nathan Williamson at rugby.com.au that ‘it’s been a long tour. It feels like we’ve been away for a bit, so I just want to get home’. If Nutta were dead, he’d be turning in his grave! A prop, the pillars of power, the bearers of brawn, the brotherhood of bash, the gurus of grunt, saying ‘I just want to go home’. Well guess what Axel? The Tahs piggies will get you home early on Saturday night. Of course you’ll be travelling in reverse, and like an old flame have your ankles up near your ears and squealing, hoping, nay praying, for an intervening whistle to stop the carnage.
Next from the two-ply team we had the news that ‘The Buttocks’ (young prop Maximus de Gluteus) has been ‘rested’ for this match as part of player management. Rested from what exactly? Being 20 years old and playing no rugby? Rested so he can bench press a small Chinese hatchback in the gym? Ooooooooohhhhhhhh, scary. Don’t tackle him, he can lift an MG. Handy for oil changes but bugger all use on the field. Let’s just call it what it is, FFS. By ‘rested’, coach Wendy Matthews means ‘sparing The Buttocks the ignominy of being fed his own taint, without sauce, when The Bull, Porky and The Abattoir completely dish them up on Saturday night’.
There’s a sense of fear and pending gloom permeating the corridors of QRU at present, and with some justification. They were dreadful against the Crusaders. So much so they made a really poor Crusaders team, coming last at the time, look like world beaters. Could it be the weight of expectation is crushing this young side? Expectations they’re the best team in Oz. Expectations their coach is the anointed one for gold. Expectations that they only need to turn up to win. Or could this fear run deeper? Coursing through their veins, paralysing performances, clouding decision making and suffocating them. Could they be suffering genuine fear of the Tahs, or perhaps even a form of PTahSD?
What happened to those rough and tumble legendary Reds teams of yore? You know, the same tough lot who tried to punch Campo in the head when he was lying flat on his back and couldn’t defend himself. I mean they once had a coach called Knuckles, FFS. They had teams full of rugby legends, like John Eales (and probably some other guys, too). But here we are in 2025 and what a sad state of affairs rugby in the QPRQ has become. Excuse city. Props wanting to go home. Fake injuries. Other props rested and an organisation that dives, dodges, ducks and dives, more than Dutto on climate change. If it wasn’t so sad, so terribly sad, it’d be funny.
Fearless Prediction: It’s Tah-time baby. Tahs by 38. Mummy won’t save you Reds lot now.
REDS (1-15): Sef Fa’agase, Matt Faessler, Zane Nonggorr, Josh Canham, Ryan Smith, Seru Uru, Fraser McReight, Harry Wilson, Tate McDermott (c), Tom Lynagh, Tim Ryan, Hunter Paisami, Filipo Daugunu, Lachie Anderson, Heremaia Murray Replacements: Richie Asiata, Alex Hodgman, Jeffery Toomaga-Allen, Angus Blyth, Joe Brial, Kalani Thomas, Harry McLaughlin-Phillips, Dre Pakeho
WARATAHS (1-15): Angus Bell, Dave Porecki, Taniela Tupou, Hugh Sinclair (c), Ben Grant, Rob Leota, Charlie Gamble, Leafi Talataina, Teddy Wilson, Lawson Creighton, Max Jorgensen, Joey Walton, Henry O’Donnell, Triston Reilly, Andrew Kellaway Replacements: Mahe Vailanu, Tom Lambert, Siosifa Amone, Felix Kalapu, Jamie Adamson, Langi Gleeson, Jack Grant, Tane Edmed
Referee: James Doleman Assistant Referees: Marcus Playle, Fraser Hannon TMO: Richard Kelly
The games that really don’t matter.
It’s round #5 of SRP this weekend. All team news in Happy’s Thursday Rugby News.
Friday, 14 March 5:05 pm AEDT – Highlanders v Hurricanes at Forsyth Barr Stadium, Wellington
Let’s be honest, who really cares? The Highlanders are the Rebels of NZ and the Canes can’t beat their ol’ skipper’s new side. Neither will make the top #6. In fact the Kiwis are lucky it is a top 6, so at least one of their sides might sneak into the finals. #dowereallyneedthem? #superrugbyoz. The Canes will be smarting from last week’s loss, but need to be ‘minds on’ for this one otherwise a dangerous Highlanders could just spring an upset.
Fearless Prediction: Canes by 9 in a fast finishing, high scoring affair.
Referee: Angus Mabey Assistant Referees: Mike Winter, Warwick Lahmert TMO: Glenn Newman
Friday, 14 March 7:35 pm AEDT – ACT Brumbies v Fijian Drua at GIO Stadium, Canberra
I said last week, hoodoos are made to be broken and the Brumbies are the hoodoo gurus, beating the Blues at no less than Eden Park, Australia’s rugby graveyard.
The Ponies loosies were exceptional last week, as too was the set piece and the finishers can take a bow. If anything the set piece intensity went up a notch when they came on. Billy Pollard looks to be a man in a man’s body now and was uber impressive. But for mine the trio of Hooper, Scott and Shaw were exceptional. Add to that a very good Frost and Cale and the Brumbies forwards have suddenly played themselves into form. All of this with Sideshow Bob Valetini soon to return, further bolstering a formidable pack. Surprisingly for me, coach Larkham has opted to start Noah Lolesio in his return from injury forcing my MoTM last week, Declan Meredith, to the pine.
For all of that, the Drua are a very dangerous and capable side and unlucky not to be closer to 4-0 this season, as opposed to 1-3. As always, the test will be the Drua’s form on the road. Although a Friday night in the ACT in March is hardly a Friday night in June. Look for this game to be very close, more so than people would want.
Fearless Prediction: Brumbies by 5
Referee: Jordan Way Assistant Referees: Graham Cooper, Matt Kellahan TMO: James Leckie
Saturday, 15 March 2:35 pm AEDT – Crusaders v Western Force at Apollo Projects Stadium, Christchurch
As if playing the Crusaders in Crusaderville isn’t hard enough. How ’bout you throw in the longest haul in SRP and then take out 6, yep 6, of your regular starters. This week the Force are without Nic ‘The Lip’ White, Ben Donno, Hamish Stewart, The Bulldog Tizzano , all on an RA mandated break. Then throw in the injured duo Dylan Pietsch and the guy with more names than a Tasmanian electoral roll, Nick Champion de Crispigny, and the challenge is magnified exponentially.
As for the Saders, it’s hard to tell just what form they’re in. Sure they’ve got talent, but so badly did the Reds blur the form line last week with their Barry Crocker it’s hard to tell. Is this Saders side any good? I don’t really think so. But they are surely too good for a Force side missing 40% of its regular run on side. Aren’t they?
Fearless Prediction: They certainly should be. Crusaders by 19.
Referee: Damon Murphy Assistant Referees: Jeremy Markey, George Myers TMO: Brett Cronan
Saturday, 15 March 5:05 pm AEDT – Chiefs v Blues at FMG Stadium Waikato, Hamilton
Will the real Auckland Blues please stand up? When was the last time you saw a Blues pack man-handled, like they were last week. They were slow to the breakdown, poor at set piece and when Barrett-san went off, looked lost in attack. One might say Stern Vern may’ve exacted a fair degree of training park punishment this week.
As for the D-Macless Chuffs, well Fiji deservedly rolled them in the steaming severity of Lautoka. Indeed one wonders how much the travel and the exertion of last week’s outing might sap the usual high tempo, fast finishing flurry of the previously imperious Chiefs side?
One thing’s for sure, Cotter will have the Blues smarting from last week’s capitulation and they’ll be out for their pound of flesh this week. The Chiefs will look to put pace and tempo on the ball and out-flank the big Blues side. However, the Chiefs may also be a touch ragged at 70 minutes onwards. Can the Chiefs get in front and hold on? Or will the Blues boss them around and swing them like a stray and tired old cat? With no Barrett-san, do the Blues have enough points in them to get the job done?
Should be a cracking game and again, the outcome going right down to the wire.
Fearless prediction: Travel fatigue and the sapping Fijian conditions to be the nail in the Chiefs coffin. Blues by 3.
Referee: Ben O’Keeffe Assistant Referees: Stu Curran, Jackson Henshaw TMO: Glenn Newman
Now we’re talking!
Bumper round of SRW ahead, especially so with some 7’s royalty set to debut this weekend
Saturday, 15 March 2:35 pm AEDT – Fijian Drua v ACT Brumbies at Churchill Park, Lautoka
This year’s comp has also been the closest in recent memory. Teams are fitter, have greater depth and are playing a more expansive, skill heavy type of rugby. But as per last week, conditions in Lautoka are only made for one team to thrive.
Fearless Prediction: Drua by 13.
DRUA (1-15): Anasimeci Korovata, Loraini Senivutu, Tiana Robanakadavu, Fuga Ofakimalino, Carletta Yee, Rusila Nagasau, Nunia Daunimoala, Bitila Tawake, Setaita Railumu, Salanieta Kinita, Vitalina Naikore, Ema Adivitaloga, Merewairita Neivosa, Repeka Tove, Litiana Vueti Replacements: Keleni Marawa, Salanieta Nabuili, Vika Matarugu, Alfreda Fisher, Karalaini Naisewa, Kolora Lomani, Josivini Naihamu, Luisa Tisolo
BRUMBIES (1-15): Martha Fua, Katalina Amosa, Keia Mae Sagapolu Sanele, Ashley Fernandez, Easter Savelio, Siokapesi Palu (c), Chioma Enyi, Tabua Tuinakauvadra, Ella Ryan, Faitala Moleka, Biola Dawa, Merania Paraone, Gabrielle Petersen, Ashlea Bishop, Tia Hinds Replacements: Ella Hopper, Iroha Kishimoto, Hannah Stewart, Ana-lise Sio, Edwina Munns-Cook, Lily Bone, Jay Huriwai, Manua Moleka
Sunday March 16 3:05 pm AEDT – Queensland Reds v NSW Waratahs at Ballymore Stadium
This match is just as intriguing at the male equivalent, perhaps more so. Former Tahs lining up for the Reds, current 7s superstars making their debuts in SRP pushing for a RWC spot. This has the makings of a classic game of rugby, the Red v Blue aspect is almost incidental.
The Reds piggies shade the Tahs, but the Tahs loosies are better. Piper Duck is back as skipper and I bloody love how Emily Chancellor goes about her work. Always consistent and always at a high standard. The Tahs backs are electric with Miller, Friedrichs and Stewart all proven performers for state and nation. But then again, Teagan Levy, Bella Nasser and one Charlotte Caslick are no slouches either.
rugby.com.au reports: Just like fellow Queenslanders Teagan Levi, Kahli Henwood and Bella Nasser last week, Caslick’s introduction will be the first step in her bid to crack Jo Yapp’s Test squad for October’s Rugby World Cup in England. However, Caslick has already gone a step further by declaring her intention to stay with the Reds for the remainder of their SMARTECH Super Rugby Women’s season.
I’m away on the NSW north coast this weekend, but there’s no way in the world I am missing this match. Could be a classic.
Fearless Prediction: A blue pall descending over the QPRQ. Tahs by 2.
REDS (1-15): Bree-Anna Browne, Tiarna Molloy, Eva Karpani, Vineta Teutau, Tiarah Minns, Jemma Bemrose (c), Carola Kreis, Sarah Riordan, Layne Morgan, Carys Dallinger, Kahli Henwood, Shalom Sauaso, Teagan Levi, Caitlin Urwin, Lori Cramer Reserves: Zophronia Setu, Cristo Taufua, Charli Jacoby, Deni Ross, Bella Nasser, Nat Wright, Faythe Manera, Charlotte Caslick
WARATAHS (1-15): Bridie O’Gorman, Adiana Talakai, Faliki Pohiva, Kaitlan Leaney, Annabelle Codey, Leilani Nathan, Emily Chancellor, Piper Duck (c), Tatum Bird, Arabella McKenzie, Desiree Miller, Katrina Barker, Georgina Friedrichs, Maya Stewart, Waiaria Ellis Replacements: Millie Parker, Emily Robinson, Seneti Kilisimasi, Tahlia Morgan, Ruby Anderson, Tiarne Cavanagh, Nicole Nathan, Amelia Whitaker
Mass debating to end?
The time for endless debate regarding who are the true powerhouses of global rugby is drawing nigh, and about bloody time too.
News this week from SMH scoop and Stan’s Inside Line regular, Iain Payten, that an announcement on the loooooooong awaited Nations Cup will be confirmed around the BIL tour and will commence from 2026. And if true, what a cracking adventure awaits all rugby fans, with no dead rubbers.
In short, the 6N sides will play the RC sides, plus Fiji and Japan, spread across three matches in July and the rest across the Autumn NH tours. At the end of these fixtures will be a final of NH v SH, but also brilliantly, all other sides in meaningful playoffs, including:
- NH#1 v SH1 for individual rugby bragging rights.
- NH#2 v SH#2
- NH#3 v SH#3
- NH#4 v SH#4
- NH#5 v SH#5
- NH#6 v SH#6
All these finals fixtures will also carry points and at their completion, the hemisphere with the most points will rightly claim bragging rights as the dominant hemisphere in rugby. Not only does the concept feed into the North v South competitive tensions (how many RWCs has the north one again?), but also makes every test in the Nations Cup live and with real consequences. You have the intra-competitive tensions within each hemisphere block with all wanting to finish #1. But at the same time all working together at season’s end to claim the overall prize as a collective. It’s simply brilliant.
Add to that the intrigue of promotion and relegation from 2030 onwards with teams like Georgia and Portugal coming into consideration. But wait, there’s more: the likely introduction of Japan and Fiji into an expanded RC in what will effectively be a SH 6N competition.
I tell you Gaggers, I love the concept, love the structure and can’t wait for it to go from inception to reality. As long as the north never wins. Then I’ll hate the idea.
A bit rich?
If you listen really, really carefully, you might hear the wind carry the whispers of the world’s smallest violin as the afternoon breeze gently caresses your ears. And that sound will be a sad medley for poor billionaire, Sir Jim Ratcliffe.
You see, Sir Jimmy is owner of planet killing chemical company giant, and NZR current/former contracted jersey sponsor, INEOS. And it seems Sir Jimmy is so poor he can’t possibly afford to honour the legally binding contract he has with NZR. So tough have times come for Sir Jimmy that staff at Manchester United, which he also owns and whose worst player would be on a contract worth more than his sponsorship deal with NZR, has had to stop free lunches for MU staff.
You can read the full story at stuff.co.nz. I’ve started a crowd funding page to help Sir Scumbag Jimmy keep the lights on: #doitforjimmydowntohislast$16billionusd.
Stick it to him, NZR.
MARGA.
Regular readers will know that I’m not one to blow my own horn. God knows I’ve tried. But when something like this arrives unsolicited in the G&GR inbox, and with the official POTUS seal, it simply must see the light of day. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you G&GR’s #1 American Fan and President of the United States and Canada, Donald J Trump: Making Australian Rugby Great Again.
Well, folks, we’ve got a tremendous, tremendous show today. We’re talking rugby. That’s right. Rugby. A great sport. Some say the best sport. A tough sport. Almost as tough as the campaign trail, let me tell you. And I’ve been following it very closely. I read Hoss. Tremendous writer. Really fantastic. Some people are saying the best rugby writer. Maybe ever. Green and Gold Rugby? Great site. Not as big as Truth Social, but still, very good.
I saw Friday’s Rugby News. Incredible. Really incredible. You had everything. Wallabies, Super Rugby, the whole deal. And let’s talk about the Wallabies for a second, folks, because—look—I love winners. I really do. And let’s be honest, the Wallabies? Not winning so much lately. Not good. Some people are saying it’s almost like a Biden administration—confused, going backwards, making bad decisions. But listen, they’ve got talent. They do. And if they play smart, play tough, play like winners, they could be great again. Maybe even Wallabies 2.0, I don’t know. We’ll see what happens.
And Super Rugby. What a competition. Australia and New Zealand—great rivalry. Some of the best players in the world. The Crusaders? They keep winning. Too much winning. Some people say too much, I say, ‘Hey, that’s what winners do.’ The Brumbies? Very good. Hardworking team. Probably should have won more titles. Maybe they need a little Trump-style deal-making to get across the line, folks. The Reds, Waratahs—historic teams. Gotta get tougher. Gotta want it more.
And Hoss. Look, this guy—fantastic coverage. He tells it like it is. A lot of people don’t like that. But you need the truth. Not fake news rugby. And let’s be honest, there’s a lot of fake news in rugby. You know it. I know it. The refs? Some of the worst calls I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot. Some of these guys, I don’t know where they’re getting their instructions from—maybe the UN, maybe the French, maybe Joe Biden, we don’t know. But Hoss, he calls it out. We like that.
So listen, folks, rugby is a great sport. It’s tough. It’s real. And Australia? You’ve got to get back to winning. You’ve got to make rugby great again. Maybe I’ll come down there. Maybe I’ll coach the Wallabies. Who knows? But until then, keep reading Hoss. Keep following Green and Gold Rugby. And most importantly—keep winning. Thank you. Thank you very much.
I am forever humbled.
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
F-Mac on track.
Breaking news last night that one Fraser McReight is rumoured to have accepted a three year deal from RA to remain in Oz rugby until the end of 2028. If accurate, this tops an incredible week for the code and us fans. For me, F-Mac and Angus Bell are your next Wallaby leadership team for 5-7 years. Both are outstanding footballers and seem to be even more impressive young men.
McReight is alleged to have knocked back $1.3m pa Japanese offer, with RA’s offer whispered to leave him approx. $1m out of pocket compared to the Nippon offer. However with the lure of the BIL tour, the Nations Cup, a home RWC and the chance to leave an indelible legacy of his own, F-Mac seems to be happy to forego some coin, and perhaps in doing so etch his name in (potentially) Wallaby greatness over the coming years.
Well done RA and thank you Fraser. All we need now is a coach.
Shop till ya drop.
Astute readers on here (?) may’ve noticed the addition of fan wear available for all Super Rugby Wallabies, BILs, 6N (and even the All Blacks) are now available on G&GR. That’s right, no matter what side you incorrectly follow, you can buy all your merchandise here. From jersey to jumpsuit, dog bowl to diary, if you want it, you’ll find it all on G&GR. Click on SHOP located in the heading menu for more. Click on any item of interest and off you go.
The Melon’s in Coffs Harbour.
Owen ‘The Melon’ Finegan has been named coach of the Australian Barbarians for their clash with Japan A at Coffs Harbour International Stadium on Saturday, 5 April. Seems like a cracking location and some good rugby as well. Tickets are available from coffscoast.com.au/rugby
Frost bites.
Great news for the Ponies and rugby fans alike with news Nick ‘Elsa’ Frost has re-signed with RA until the end of the 2027 season. There’s no doubt as good as Elsa is, his best years are still ahead and at 206cm and 120kg his presence in Oz for a little while longer is a win for us all.
The Fez says yes.
Following on from Elsa’s good news is the re-signing of Matt ‘The Fez’ Faessler also until the end of 2027. The Fez has done an awesome job of keeping the gold #2 jersey warm for Porky Porecki and our hooking stocks look rather healthy with Billy ‘The Kid’ Pollard, Nic Dolly ‘Parton’, BPA and Mahe Vailanu chomping at their heals.
Props aren’t dumb where Tom comes from.
A huge well done to Force prop, Dr Tom Robbo, who at age 30 and after a sabbatical last season notches up SR game #100 this weekend. Still young in human years, but approaching 73 in prop years, Robbo started his career at the Tahs in 2016, was in gold at the end of that year before moving west in 21. He had a sabbatical in 24 and this year brings up the ton.
Not only has the popular and underrated prop about to crack the ton, but he also has an undergraduate bachelor of medical science, master’s of public health, and a master’s of philosophy majoring in anaesthesia. He also has a suspended medical degree from the University of Sydney, which he’ll finish off after rugby.
A few more qualifications and he might just be ready to fill in on the occasional Friday when I’m flying to Mar-a-Lago to meet a fan.
Sully Shouts.
A few of the G&GR team will be at the Reds loss this Saturday and invite you to drop by and say g’day. Sully even promises to shout a shandy and 6 straws as part of his thanks for all our readers. If you look for bright pink leggings, a glitter mesh top, killer stilettos and inviting hands, Yowie might even give you a Brisbane Hello as well. #antibioticsrock
Until then. God bless my fellow Gagarians and go the Tahs.
Hoss – out
