Welcome one, welcome all to another gala rugby Friday and the vinegar stroke of another booming test weekend.
Today we take the helicopter view to fixing our rugby ways in ‘It’s Hamish Time’. Dive into some whispers exciting those up north in ‘Captain Callahan?’. Preview our Murderball chances in ‘Steelers Wheel’. Ponder a daunting question in ‘What If?’. Then wrap up the rugby week with ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss‘. And then remain flummoxed by the size of the fine handed to Latrell Mitchell. Imagine if it had’ve been cocaine!
It’s Hamish Time.
Take a breath. For the good of Australian rugby it’s time we talked about Hamish and just what he can help us all achieve. Results haven’t been the same without him. There’s been upheaval, uncertainty, ho-hum performances and it’s time we all think afresh. What we need is a terrific communicator, someone resolute, experienced, confident, willing to draw a line, roll the sleeves up and dig in. Someone reliable and deserving of our support.
Hamish is that person. A proven performer across different organisations with consistent runs on the board. Sure, there’ll be contrary opinions and backlash from those wedded to the past, but so what? That’s just an inability to see the forest because of the tall, wooded material blocking their view. Besides, its the great weakness of democracy: even idiots get a say. The time is right. The time is now. This really needs to happen. In my opinion, it’s time.
Hamish Stewart simply must start at #12 this weekend.
Team just announced
Wallabies team to play Argentina at Estadio Uno Estudiantes de La Plata on Sunday September 1 at 8:00am AEST
1. Angus Bell (29 Tests) – Hunters Hill Rugby 2. Matt Faessler (8 Tests) – USQ Saints 3. Taniela Tupou (52 Tests) – Brothers Rugby 4. Nick Frost (17 Tests) – Hornsby Lions 5. Lukhan Salakaia-Loto (34 Tests) – Randwick 6. Rob Valetini (44 Tests) – Harlequin Junior Rugby Club 7. Carlo Tizzano (2 Tests) – University of Western Australia 8. Harry Wilson Captain (15 Tests) – Gunnedah Red Devils 9. Jake Gordon (23 Tests) – Canterbury Juniors 10. Noah Lolesio (21 Tests) – Tuggeranong Vikings 11. Marika Koroibete (60 Tests) – Nasinu Secondary College, Fiji 12. Hamish Stewart* – Toowoomba Bears 13. Len Ikitau (31 Tests) – Tuggeranong Vikings 14. Andrew Kellaway (31 Tests) – Hunters Hill Rugby 15. Tom Wright (29 Tests) – Clovelly Eagles Substitutes 16. Josh Nasser (4 Tests) – Easts Tigers 17. Isaac Kailea (4 Tests) – Harlequin Junior Rugby Club 18. Allan Alaalatoa (72 Tests) – West Harbour Juniors 19. Jeremy Williams (4 Tests) – Wahroonga Tigers 20. Langi Gleeson (6 Tests) – Harbord Harlequins 21. Tate McDermott (33 Tests) – Flinders Rugby Club 22. Ben Donaldson (10 Tests) – Clovelly Eagles 23. Max Jorgensen (1 Test) – Balmain Wolves *denotes uncapped
Captain Callahan?
Not since Sir Joh ran for President have Queenslanders felt so empowered. Whispers abound in rugby circles that NSW traitor and Gunnedah turncoat, Dirty Harry Wilson, may just have the little (c) next to his name this Saturday when the Cadbury soldiers take on those who couldn’t shoot down a kiddy fiddling royal in his helicopter in an 80s skirmish.
I for one am a big fan of Dirty Harry, but, if the whispers are true I’m actually a little ‘meh’ on the decision. In fact, if true, I’d regard it as the first poor call from St Joe and his council of rugby elders. It’s nought to do with his egregious traitor-like actions in deserting NSW but more that he’s still finding his way at test level. He’s far from a guaranteed future starter, and isn’t even captain of his state. And in a squad containing more experienced and proven leaders (7As, The Commissioner, Methuselah, Joe Dirt and The Lip) this would seem an odd choice as skipper.
Of course I’ll scream and cheer, curse and drink for a Wallaby side led by him. But good call, or deserving, or long term? Not so much. Besides, Captain Bell, or Sir Angus, just slides off the tongue.
Steelers Wheel.
The Paralympics have commenced and where was Raygun as our flag bearer? It’s an outrage.
I remember being pumped for the Tokyo Paralympics and the almost guaranteed gold medal for our wheelchair rugby side, the Steelers, in Murderball. Then the games began and our team, well, sucked. It seemed the other teams at the games had figured out the Steelers’ plans 1 – 718, were all the same: get the ball to Ryley (Battman) Batt. And once these plans were foiled, our chances ended in the same manner as our recent women’s 7s campaign: no medal while staring in disarray at a pile of puke on a Parisian disco floor.
However, 2022 did see the Steelers win the world title and this campaign sees a wonderful blend of both experience and exciting new athletes in the side. In Battman and Chris Bond you have nearly 600 matches of experience. But you also have five debutants, Brayden Foxley-Conolly, Beau Vernon, Emilie Miller, James McQuillan and Josh Nicholson, and a record three female athletes, Miller, Shae Graham and Ella Sabljak, who competed at Tokyo 2020 in wheelchair basketball.
To be honest, I haven’t heard much noise surrounding the Steelers. No grand claims, no grand promises, but excited, determined and perhaps a little better prepared and a more well rounded team for these games.
There’s an excellent article to be found at paralympic.org.au with all the stats and details.
*All games LIVE on the Nine Network, Stan Sport and 9NOW
Thursday, 29 August at 7:30 pm – AUSTRALIA v GREAT BRITAIN
Saturday, 31 August at 3:30 am – AUSTRALIA v FRANCE
Saturday, 31 August at 9:30 pm – AUSTRALIA v GREAT BRITAIN
Go well Steelers #givemhell
What If?
Have you ever asked yourself: what if the team formerly known as the All Blacks, now the Minstrels, just aren’t that good anymore? I mean if Sam Cane is the answer to your question, then the question already has you in a world of hurt, doesn’t it?
What gives over the pond? Coach sackings, a red card recidivist as your captain. A winger as your #13, a #23 as your #10 and a starting #7 who cost you the World Cup? Sure they’ll still beat us (who hasn’t lately?), but if I didn’t already tell you this article was about the team who enjoyed frolicking with fleece, you’d think this article was cut and paste circa RWC2023 about Eddie & co!
So I challenge you this: what if they’re just not that good anymore? What if the coaching saviour ain’t no such thing? What if he simply inherited the keys to the Ferrari as Crusaders coach? You know, just start it, point it and sit back and enjoy. As opposed to, say, a Leyland P76 that you had to jump start and pray the carby didn’t shit itself mid-trip.
Right now, I reckon Razor is pulled over on the side of the road, somewhere near the South Island shanty town of Howfukkaiendhere, hood up, steam billowing, wires smouldering, asking himself ‘what do I do now?’.
You Kiwis are in a touch of bother I reckon. What if you’re just not that good anymore?
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
Shute Shield, Shite Fight.
East v Norths: Leichhardt Oval. 2.45pm Saturday, 31 August.
A simmering undercurrent of resentment and more than a hint of underhanded dealings adding a tang of spite to this weekend’s Shute Shield final between the moneyboys Easts and virtually the rest of the competition.
I must admit not being across the minutiae of this matter, so I’ll just make it up instead. Easts = bad, all other sides = good. I did have a chuckle though when Easts President, Montgomery Moneybags, came out this week and said ‘Real Good, not Real Madrid’.
Perhaps it could also be a case of great planning, engagement and reward for sustained Easts effort. Bastards. May the best northern based team win.
Show me the, whatever it is Kiwis use as currency. Lanolin oil? Woolly mittens?
Bugger me, four years’ pay for three months’ work! Where do I sign? That’s what’s been reported on stiffcuzzybrocuz.nz.co. Former Minstrels attack coach, Leon Macca, looks set to get a mega payout because he and Razor couldn’t agree on the lyrics of Kumbaya.
Talk about ‘Golden Hand Jobs Shakes’!
It’s a Miracle!
Tip of the hat to South African medical type people with injured lock (and pistol whip instructor), Eben Etzebeth now fit to take his place in the Boks’ match day XXIII. After suffering from a crippling, and potentially life threatening, dose of halitosis, Etzebeth has faced death front on, won the titanic struggle and will rise, phoenix like, for his beloved quota lovers to face the Minstrels this weekend.
I’m getting misty just thinking about it all.
Cherry Busters.
Much like a story Nutta told me sitting around a Blue Mountains log fire about his adventures in the 80s, the Wallabies are about to have their 15th debutant this year when the team is announced later today. And much like Nutta, that’s a record. The most Wallaby debutants since 1962. Of course, there aren’t as many cousins in the Wallabies story as in Nutta’s. But still.
The SMH has more
Hospital Cup Final
Ballymore plays hosts Sunday 2.45pm. Live on STAN
For those without meaning or purpose in their lives and find themselves living in the QPRQ, the Hospital Cup final is on this weekend. The perennial heavyweights, Brothers, take on Melbourne Rebels Wests. Good luck to both sides.
Until next week. Go the Wallabies
Hoss – out.
