Author: Daz
Daz
Not a single bit of factual information has ever been blogged by me, of which I am extremely proud. Opinion pieces. Don't hate. Read. Think. Then comment.
The 2016 Inter-Brigade Rugby Competition is on again, show-casing all that is good about Army rugby. This year, the competition will be expanded to seven teams; in addition to mens and womens teams from 1, 3, 6 , 7, 16 and 17 Brigades, the Combined Arms Training Centre (CATC) will also be entering teams. My money, as always, is on my former Brigade (the mighty 3rd from Townsville, Qld) to dominate. The Australian Army has a rich history of rugby competition, and indeed many ex-Army players have gone on to represent the Wallabies. In recent times, this list includes Wallaby #753…
G’day sports fans, and welcome to another edition of RebelTalk ™, broadcasting in mono to all parts of my house. Great to be talking to myself for another week. And so it all comes down to this; two teams with nothing to play for except pride, and the chance to be a temporary smudge on Cheika’s weekly “Wallaby Watch” whiteboard. The phone lines are open, so let’s get your feedback. Call 13YAWN and let’s get it on! While we are waiting for the callers to start rolling in, let’s recap the year so far for both teams. Why don’t…
Before the match in Round 2 Pfitzy and I had a face-off about the match. Although the Waratahs scratched out a lucky win in the rugby, I was the winner of the face-off according to good judges: my dog and the bloke next door Pfitzy had readers all over the country nodding off as he brought out the Harbour Bridge and the Opera House. Pathetic as it was, the bloke did a good job with the shoddy material he had to work with; so I thought in only fair to offer him a re-match Waratahs are going to win…
I’d like to talk to you about what many veterans feel about the commercialisation of ANZAC, and in particular, the comparison between soldier and sportsman
PREVIEW: RaboDirect Melbourne Rebels v Queensland Reds. AAMI Park, Melbourne. Friday 3rd April 2015. Kick-off at 7:40pm (local). *Satire alert. But you knew that already, right? One has felt for some time that it is improper for others to write on one’s behalf, especially for something as vulgar as entertainment for the masses. Rugby is not for enjoyment, and anyone who disagrees should feel the long end of my cane. However, one accepts that there is some degree of interest amongst the common folk for the outcome of our weekly competition. To that end, as the receiving host, I…
After minutes of anticipation, the greatest sporting rivalry in Australia* is about to be unleashed at AAMI Park in Melbourne this Friday The NSW Waratahs are going toe-to-toe with arguably Australia’s most successful Super Rugby team, the RaboDirect Melbourne Rebels**. Given the unprecedented levels of hype and commentary around this game, it is fitting that the final words of authority come from two of GAGR’s finest, from opposite sides of the border. So I sat down at a hipster-themed organic vegan café in Brunswick, sipped a mocha-hazelnut soy latte and exchanged single syllable words with the NSW-sired, Toohey’s New-guzzling Pfitzy.…
It is a Monday morning after the first round of the Super Rugby season, deep in the corridors of the specially built ARU “Doomsday Prep” Catastrophe Bunker. Bright and sunny outside, inside there is a sense of urgency and gloom. The air is thick with dramatic irony. The scene opens inside a small room. A steel bolted door is on one side, and team sheets, player profiles, video cassettes and overflowing ashtray’s fill the room. A large pile of wooden splinters is in one corner. Two men are inside; one paces relentlessly while chain-smoking. The other has the resigned…
There has been a fair bit of discussion on the forums (Fori? Fora? Forgeddit!) about what team should now be followed, for those of us who are unfortunate enough to not have a team in the finals this year. Let me now hold open the gaping paper cut I received by supporting the team that won the wooden spoon, while you squeeze some citric acid in there. I gave a fairly blunt response to some of the more enthusiastic fellow GAGR’s; I couldn’t give a f*ck. That didn’t seem to go over very well with the masses, and it appears…
From SANZAR HQ Awarded the Wooden Spoon – Melbourne Rebels Rugby Union For immediate release to all SANZAR Conference Forces. Citation For the most inconspicuous capture of points in action as the 5th Australian Conference Team, under the auspices of SANZAR, ARU and Super Rugby. The Melbourne Rebels enlisted in SANZAR in 2010. After completing the requisite courses and payment of licences, they were posted to AAMI Park where they first saw active service in 2011, as the RaboDirect Melbourne Rebels. During 2014, they successfully attained the highest number of “likes” on Facebook. During their tenure with SANZAR in 2014,…
A Winters Tale* Melbourne Rebels v Golden Lions Ellis Park, Johannesburg. South Africa. Kick off: 1910 hrs local, 0310 hrs, AEST. *With apologies to the bard. Dramatis Personae Higgers: A King of Melbourne Coach T: A Gaoler Mitch, Luke, Hugh, Woody: Four Lords of Victoria Laurie: A Clown Daz: A Rogue Supporters: As Chorus ACT I SCENE I Antechamber in AAMI Park, Half-Time, Rebels v Reds. [Enter HIGGERS: and COACH T:] COACH T: If you shall chance, Higgers, to not give away such infringements, you shall see, as I have said, no great difference betwixt our Rebels and…
And the winner is…! Melbourne Rebels v Queensland Rebels Reds. Friday, 27th June, 2014. AAMI Park, Melbourne. My children, let us pray: Lord, we are wretched sinners. We had the makings of a rugby dynasty in your chosen land, and we did piss it all away. The Queensland Reds were supposed to have been modelled in your honour; sweeping the heathen Cockroach, Sandgroper, Canberrian and Mexican hordes before them in merciless righteousness. Much like the ancient Egyptians did to the infant Hebrews before Moses and his band of Israelite Special Forces went all Pulp Fiction on their asses. Lord, we…
So listen, I was at a rugby game recently and a team won, as often tends to happen at sporting contests. No biggie, right? I mean, that’s the idea, to win. Pretty sure that’s what the coaches would have pencilled in as a good result. I’ve never heard a coach give a fire and brimstone half-time address about “just go out there and draw, you bastards!” Not unless said coach wanted the ACCC to turn up at his house with warrants to investigate match-fixing. But what do I know? I’ve never coached a pro sports team. Anyway, I digress. A…
G’day sports fans, and welcome to yet another edition of Rebels Rugby – The Preview™. The way to the heart of every die-hard rugby supporter is to give ‘em what they want, and what you want is an ill-informed, crass, uneducated and confusing piece of rugby “journalism”, completely devoid of facts, stats and basic research. I’m your boy! So let’s dive in and get this show on the road. When last we met, I was banging on about how the Rebels would get up against the Sharks. I was pretty close to being right. I mean, OK, they lost, but…
Ok, here’s the thing; I haven’t really seen any Rebels action up close and personal for about 4 weeks now. There was the small matter of me traipsing around the French country-side while the boys battled the Chiefs then the Force, and of course I got back to Melbourne just in time for the bye. No rugby for that long makes daz a hungry boy! I had some time to reflect on my Melbourne Rebels while I drank champagne at the top of the Eiffel tower, ate crepes at a dozen different cafes, and quaffed kegs of beer everywhere. What…
Highlanders v Rebels Forsyth Barr Stadium in Dunedin, New Zealand. Kick-off: 5:30pm Melbourne time. Well kiddies, it appears ol’ Unca daz is a master in the use of reverse psychology. For those who have just joined us, last week I made the utterly predictable and safe announcement that the Rebels would not beat the Brumbies. Lo, and behold; the unpredictable buggers only went and proved me wrong! To be fair though, the first half against the Ponies was as shambolic as I have seen the Rebels in 4 years of Super Rugby. The crowd were booing every kick by half-time…
The unkind Super Rugby supporter out there may have already decided the outcome of this match. After all, it’s 1st v 5th on the Aussie conference, with the Brumbies coming off a solid win against the Stormers while the Rebels were diced, sliced and friggin’ mashed by the Tahs. You will have to excuse my obvious bias upfront. Not that I give a stuff what you think anyway. Looking at the facts, and only the facts ma’am, it’s easy to see why the bookies have the Brumbies as $1.36 favourites for this clash at AAMI Park. The last three games…