And the winner is…!
Melbourne Rebels v Queensland Rebels Reds.
Friday, 27th June, 2014.
AAMI Park, Melbourne.
My children, let us pray:
Lord, we are wretched sinners.
We had the makings of a rugby dynasty in your chosen land, and we did piss it all away. The Queensland Reds were supposed to have been modelled in your honour; sweeping the heathen Cockroach, Sandgroper, Canberrian and Mexican hordes before them in merciless righteousness. Much like the ancient Egyptians did to the infant Hebrews before Moses and his band of Israelite Special Forces went all Pulp Fiction on their asses.
Lord, we beseech you. Why have you abandoned the Reds after only one title? I mean, fair suck of the sauce bottle Lord, you gave the accursed Cantabarians seven titles, and you like them less than you like homosexual American vegans.
If you didn’t want the Reds to get all uppity after winning the big show, you could have just dropped a hint, such as taking away an ab or two away from Digby Ioane, rather than unleashing a Sodom and Gomorrah style retribution on the entire playing group. Your special children.
Children such as Willie G, upon whom you bestowed a magical gift – The gift of Heavenly Scrum-half. A gift that took him all the way to the World XV. And now, Lord? Now Willie G can barely box kick over the heads of the opposition without it being charged down. Is this part of your great plan, Lord?
Because Lord, your children doth feel your curse upon their land. They are becoming wanderers to faraway places, like Melbourne. And France. And Japan. Pledging allegiance to other rugby teams in the hope of being cleansed of the curse of the Red. The curse of the WOODEN SPOON.
Is it then true, Lord, that the Melbourne Rebels are now your special children? No, sorry Lord, I don’t mean the AFL supporters. No, they are clearly going to get a nasty shock at the time of the rapture.
No, I seek your blessing on the Melbourne Rebels. Clearly you are leaning that way already, nudge nudge, wink wink. Say no more, Lord! (Which reminds me Lord, can you do an old sinner a favour and throw Mitch Inman a Wallaby cap this year? Cheers).
O Lord, you wouldn’t let your new special Melbournite children get the WOODEN SPOON, right? I mean, Lord, you haven’t finished taunting the Reds just yet, right? No, I thought not. Just like Moses, who you struck down after 40 years of wandering the desert just as he got his first glimpse of the promised land. You are a funny bugger, Lord.
Nice one.
So Lord, the Rebels by 10, right? I can take that to SportsBet?
Thanks , O Lord.
Amen.
Toby Smith 1 James Slipper
Pat Leafa 2 James Hanson
Laurie Weeks 3 Greg Holmes
Cadeyrn Neville 4 Rob Simmons
Luke Jones 5 James Horwill (c)
Sean McMahon 6 Curtis Browning
Colby Fainga'a 7 Beau Robinson
Scott Higginbotham (c) 8 Jake Schatz
Luke Burgess 9 Nick Frisby
Bryce Hegarty 10 Ben Lucas
Tom English 11 Dom Shipperley
Mitch Inman 12 Anthony Fainga'a
Tamati Ellison 13 Ben Tapuai
Jason Woodward 14 Rod Davies
Jack Debreczeni 15 Mike Harris
Reserves
Shota Horie 16 Saia Fainga'a
Cruze Ah-Nau 17 Albert Anae
Paul Alo-Emile 18 Ben Daley
Hugh Pyle 19 Dave McDuling
Scott Fuglistaller 20 Liam Gill
Nic Stirzaker 21 Samuela Kerevi
Telusa Veainu 22 Jamie-Jerry Taulagi
Tom Kingston 23 Lachie Turner
Location: AAMI Park Melbourne
Kickoff: Fri 27 Jun 19:40
Referee: Angus Gardner
Assistant Ref 1: Matt O'Brien
Assistant Ref 2: Damien Mitchelmore
TMO : George Ayoub
