Good morning, good evening, good day and good riddance to another working week. It’s Friday, and the world’s best G&GR Friday’s Rugby News is back again.
Wall to wall rugby news today, in fact I’ve included a musical intermission to break it up and let you stretch. First up let’s go back to the future with ‘Cheik Please’. Celebrate provincial brotherly love in ‘Tah Rebels’. Get the low down on a recent re-signing and feel hungry at the same time courtesy of ‘Paisami on Why’. Preview round #12 of SRP in ‘The Dirty Dozen’. Hop up, shake it off and have a cerebral stretch with our musical ‘Intermission’. Then strap yourself in for the ride home by dropping into camp Wallaroo for ‘Duck Hunting Canucks’. Before farewelling the weekly grind with a whopping ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, making mums happy everywhere since 1983.
Cheik Please.
‘Hello, it’s the NSW Waratahs, I’d like to speak with 2013 please?’
There comes a point in life where planets align, where opportunity, timing and need meet head on in a cosmic consummation and the results can be truly transformative. Enter, stage right, one M. Cheika.
For the record, Darren Coleman seems a cracking guy and a more than reasonable coach, but, in my opinion, his selections, continued, rusted on, what the hell are you thinking selections?, will likely see his Daceyville departure at season’s end. And that’ll be a shame.
Sure, the whole ‘win first four or else’, ‘mid year internal review’, ‘no decision now till year’s end’ scream of the ‘ready, fire, aim’ approach for which both RA and the Israeli military seem masters of. And yes, the injury gods have been rather unkind to Australia’s most successful SR team of the last 10 years (what other Oz side has won a fully integrated comp since 2014? I’m sorry, but it’s scientifically proven). So there are certainly contributing factors to the Tahs campaign this year, but wins still remain the only unit of currency on which careers either wither or thrive.
I’d agree that Cheik’s methods are possibly not sustainable for a prolonged tenure at the Tahs. But equally I’d wager that two years at the helm, with a stated succession plan and a designated ‘heir apparent’ and a clearly defined handover process, would both get instant results that benefit the Tahs and Rugby Australia at the same time. At this time I could see Cheik moving to a Director of Rugby Role at the Tahs or playing a role as an assistant coach at Wallaby level for the 27 home RWC.
The Golden Dawn we’ve been promised for Australian rugby is no longer 2-3 years away from beginning, it’s next bloody year when the FUKIRs arrive on our doorstep. Time is no longer our friend. In fact it’s bearing down at us, fangs out, glistening, snot snarling and bile spitting, ready to derail what could possibly be a lifeline to the code to last a generation.
With all that in mind it’s simply time to act. It’s time to be devoid of emotion about ‘good guys’. It’s time to make cold, hard, objective calls about the best interests of the code. Otherwise the ‘golden dawn’ will be in the rear vision mirror and we’ll all be left asking, ‘Whisky Tango Foxtrot just happened’? Do you really want to risk all of that?
It’s time: Cheik please.
Tah Rebels.
In what is a first in my living memory, not just have RA made a terrific call, but also opened up a glimpse behind the curtains of what ‘centralisation’ might look like and how it might actually function. And you know what Gaggers? I like it.
RA, the Rebels and the Tahs have manufactured a short-term loan deal that will see the Pone Express get his first game day run of SRP in 2024. The big man has fallen down the pecking order at the Rebs, behind The Abattoir, Sam Talakai, Matt ‘Davy Jones’ Gibbon, impressive youngster Isaac Kailea and big Cabous ‘The Moose’ Eloff.
The Tahs on the other hand are without 7 of their season 2024 contracted front rowers, with Julian Heaven the latest hooker to go down injured and out for the year. Heaven injured the AC joint in his right shoulder during the defeat to the Hurricanes and will miss the final four games of the season.
This short term deal makes sense, gives Pone some much needed game time and helps Australian rugby overall. Good call and well played all parties involved.
Besides, sources close to events (speaking anonymously as they aren’t authorised to publicly comment, and are completely fabricated by me to create a story) pretty much confirm that when the Mexican Rebels fold at season’s end, they will largely be NSW Waratahs next season anyway, so why not get a head start now? It just makes sense.
Tah Rebs.
Paisami on Why.
It seems rejuvenated Red, Hunter Pasiami, has unfinished business in both the red and gold jerseys. Enough so that he’s walked away from lucrative overseas offers. This is good news for both the Reds and Wallabies. It seems Les Kiss is a Dropped Kickoff listener as well, for he too believes Paisami has the makings of a fair #10, something I floated on the DKO a while back, that could be interesting to watch evolve as well.
When asked ‘why’ he had chosen to stay, The Squatter told AAP: “A major goal is to pull on that gold jersey again. That starts here by playing my best footy for the Reds, and hopefully the opportunity to play at the next level comes from that. Having the British & Irish Lions touring Australia next year comes around once in a player’s lifetime, and hopefully I can earn a part in that.”
I can tell you for a fact the news also bought a tear or two to the dimwitted QPRQ based, G&GR writers.
The Dirty Dozen.
Last drink saloon. The train is leaving the station. The rubber meets the road. Or just plain ol’ up spit creek without a paddle. Whatever your metaphor, this weekend there will be tears and tantrums a plenty.
Welcome to round #12 of Super Rugby Pacific where teams with two wins are still legitimate finals contenders. How’s that for rewarding rank mediocrity, folks!
All teams courtesy Happy’s Thursday News
Friday 10 May 5:05pm AEST – Moana Pasifika v Chiefs at Go Media Stadium, Auckland
How do I put this politely? Ah bugger it, little more than an opposed training run for the Chuffs.
Fearless Prediction: Chuffs by 30.
Referee: Damon Murphy Assistant Referees: Nic Berry, George Myers
Friday 10 May 7:35pm AEST – Reds v Rebels at Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane
The northern Reds v the southern Reds in what shapes as a potential ding-dong battle among the piggies. From 1-8 there appears a real ‘evenness’ about the head-to-head challenges. If I had to pick one differentiator, it would be the northern Reds are a more cohesive outfit.
The match sees the return of JOC from the pine for a likely first outing of this SRP season. Be interesting to see how Rabbit goes first run back. I would add this to the mix, though: if Flash Gordon is to stake any Wallaby claims he really must dominate Lawson Creighton in this match to show he ‘has the minerals’.
Fearless Prediction: Northern Reds by 8.
Referee: Paul Williams Assistant Referees: Dan Waenga, Mike Winter
Saturday 11 May 2:35pm AEST – Blues v Hurricanes at Eden Park, Auckland
Match of the round and possible SRP final preview. The two Kiwi giants go at each other Saturday afternoon in the early game. Listening to the boys ‘Talking Teams Podcast’ I think they nailed their descriptions. The Canes look polished and a cohesive unit. The Blues look scary and, if upset, just bash and bulldoze sides. To add insult to injury they also have an abundance of pace and skill out wide.
I can see this being a high scoring, but very close game and a great one for us neutrals. It seems the Canes are also expecting a tough day at the office, naming a 6:2 bench. That could be interesting.
Fearless Prediction: Blues by 4.
Referee: James Doleman Assistant Referees: Jono Bredin, Fraser Hannon.
Saturday 11 May 5:05pm AEST – Highlanders v Crusaders at Forsyth Barr Stadium, Dunedin
These two teams still have it all to play for in this one. The Landers are 7th on 19 points, the Saders are 10th on 13 points, just 4 points behind the 8th placed Drua.
Fears about Scott Barrett’s back injury from last week appear unfounded and was nothing more than ‘shagger’s back’. Up front the Saders are back to their menacing best with the return of Tamaiti Williams and Codie Taylor both from injury. They partner the rather useful Fletcher Newell. However, the Landers are more than handy in their own right with Ethan de Groot (c), Henry Bell and Jermaine Ainsley.
I think this could be a great, free flowing game to watch. I also think the Saders might spook a few top 8 teams after this match.
Fearless Prediction: Crusaders by 18.
Referee: Angus Gardner Assistant Referees: Jordan Way, Matt Kellahan
Saturday 11 May 7:35pm AEST – Waratahs v Brumbies at Allianz Stadium, Sydney
Looking forward to the battle of the loosies. But that’s about the only thing I am looking forward too.
Fearless Prediction: Brumbies by 19.
Referee: Ben O’Keeffe Assistant Referees: Stu Curran, Jackson Henshaw
Saturday 11 May 9:55pm AEST – Western Force v Fijian Drua at HBF Park, Perth
A Force win would actually make the last 2 rounds extremely tight, with all sides mathematically still a chance of making the top eight. The Force are at home and welcome Izack Rodda and Nic ‘the Lip’ White to the starting side. And it cannot be discounted just how close the Drua got to an admittedly underwhelming Brumbies side last week.
Form would suggest the Drua are specials, but both Force and Fiji form fluctuate wildly. So, who knows?
Fearless Prediction: Hoss does. Put your money on a draw. Just to make things real interesting!
Referee: Angus Mabey Assistant Referees: Jordan Kaminsky, Marcus Playle.
Intermission
No expense spared and makes as much, if not more, sense than Wednesday’s Rugby News anyhow.
Duck Hunting Canucks.
Do not attempt to say that fast!
Sat, May 11, 2024, 4:55pm Allianz Stadium. 4:30pm coverage, 4:55pm kick off
New Wallaroos coach, the perfectly named former Pommy halfback, Jo Yapp, has announced her first Wallaroos side who face Canadia this Saturday at Allianz Stadium. With experience starting to build nicely across the squad, eight Wallaroos now have more than 20 caps each (compared to 3 when Jay Tregonning took over, and a possible three debutantes from the pine) and suddenly the trajectory of the Wallaroos side is both exciting and hints at better times ahead.
Currently ranked 5th in the world, they’ll take on the classy and 4th ranked Canucks, fresh from a spanking of the USA. This match will be both a challenge and an interesting measure of just where our girls are at. Cast your mind back a year and the Wallaroos finished the Pacific 4 competition on a high with wins against France and Wales, further evidence that the Wallaroos are a growing threat.
Tahs skipper, Piper ‘Plucka’ Duck, who missed out on the gold jersey for 18 months after injury and shite luck, will be one to watch. You may recall that Plucka was named the youngest Wallaroo skipper ever and has worked her way back to form and a deserved golden #8 jersey and will be keen to make an impact. Watch out Canucks.
With the all-conquering Tahs rightfully making up the bulk of the squad, I’m interested to see how the halves pairing of Layne Morgan and Bella McKenzie go. Also with a fave of mine in ‘G-Fred’, Georgia Freidrichs, at #13, the two try scoring speedsters out wide in Desiree Miller and Maya Stewart could be in for some real fun. Good game to watch and clever marketing for it to be on Mothers’ Day. If you can, get down to the game and support the team.
Go well Wallaroos.
Wallaroos: 1. Brianna Hoy (NSW Waratahs) – 3 caps 2. Tania Naden (ACT Brumbies) – 10 caps 3. Bridie O’Gorman (NSW Waratahs) – 17 caps 4. Kaitlan Leaney (NSW Waratahs) – 15 caps 5. Michaela Leonard (c) (Western Force) – 22 caps 6. Siokapesi Palu (ACT Brumbies) – 6 caps7. Ashley Marsters (Melbourne Rebels) – 26 caps 8. Piper Duck (NSW Waratahs) – 10 caps 9. Layne Morgan (NSW Waratahs) – 19 caps 10. Arabella McKenzie (NSW Waratahs) – 21 caps 11. Desiree Miller (NSW Waratahs) – 2 caps 12. Trilleen Pomare (Western Force) – 24 caps 13. Georgina Friedrichs (NSW Waratahs) – 19 caps 14. Maya Stewart (NSW Waratahs) – 8 caps15. Lori Cramer (Queensland Reds) – 19 caps Reserves 16. Hera-Barb Malcolm Heke* (Western Force) – debut 17 Sally Fuesaina* (ACT Brumbies) – debut 18. Eva Karpani (NSW Waratahs) – 21 caps 19. Atasi Lafai (NSW Waratahs) – 9 caps 20. Leilani Nathan (NSW Waratahs) – 2 caps 21. Tabua Tuinakauvadra (ACT Brumbies) – 4 caps 22. Samantha Wood* (Western Force) – debut 23. Faitala Moleka (ACT Brumbies) – 6 caps *Denotes potential debut
Fearless Prediction: Wallaroos by 8.
Friday’s Goss with Hoss
Feel like a Ewe, or Two?
Interesting story on ABC News during the week about our newest shearing champion. 38yo Australian woman Jeanine Kimm knocked over 358 ewes at an average of 80.8 seconds each. While impressive, KARL tells me the Kiwis hold a better record, though, and able to ‘do’ a ewe every 76.32 seconds. Bloody Kiwis win again.
Under 20s Unperturbed.
Just when you thought the fat lady was about to sing (or ‘weight challenged, female identifying vocalist’ if you prefer) our Wallaby toddlers pulled a rabbit outta their hats and rolled the junior Dutch Dirt Farmers.
I watched the second half in what was a see-sawing encounter in very wet conditions; however, I was pleasantly surprised by the endeavour, skill and pace that our lot played with. Our starting front row in particular were outstanding.
With the competition still in the balance and bonus points critical, our young men take on the Junior Kiwis, or ‘Lamb Lovers’ as they’re known (apparently one every 76.32 seconds), this weekend.
- Sunday 12/05. 1.30pm Kick off. South Africa v Argentina – on STAN
- Sunday 12/05. 3.30pm Kick off. Australia v NZ – on STAN
100 Not Out.
In a season of so near, yet so far, one Tah in particular has stood tall. Big Jed Holloway runs out for his 100th Tah cap this Saturday against the Ponies. While the SRP season looks destined to be ugly for Jed and the Tahs, he can hold his head up high and look forward to wearing the Wallaby jersey later in the season. From all on G&GR, well done Jed.
Dick hurts knee.
Who is proof reading stuff at rugby.com.au?
After reporting Aussie 7s player Lily Dick had indeed hurt her knee during the Singapore 7s, Natho goes on to write: ‘Dick meanwhile did not feature after day one, having been thrust into the starting side against Great Britain’.
So many questions.
Au revoir?
Drums are beating that both Ned ‘Flanders’ Hanigan and Tahs skipper, Jake ‘Commissioner’ Gordon, could both be off to the land of unconditional surrender and profiteroles next year. Both have been outstanding this year and the Tahs fan in me is saddened, but as long-serving and loyal servants to the Premier State, I hope they can both make euro while the rugby sun shines.
And Sayonara Too!
Breaking news last night on the SMH, that aspiring Tahs #10 Will Harrison, who is off contract at the end of this year, has also signed to go OS, a Japanese club on a two year contract.
In a classic law of unintended consequences moment, it seems the delays in a decision on the Rebels future and a potential 30-odd players hitting the market, means the remaining Oz sides have understandably held off contract negotiations with those players of their own who are soon off contract. In this instance, the Tahs are reportedly keen on Flash Gordon, hence the delays in negotiating with Harrison and Edmed, and have now lost Harrison and currently are no certainty on getting Flash Gordon either!
However, equally understandable, those players off contract have sought employment and financial certainty elsewhere. So riddle me this Gaggers, if the Rebels should survive, then what are clubs to do to fill the gaping holes left from the players jumping ship during this current void of nothingness?
Wouldn’t centralisation or clear and defined leadership on this issue from RA be handy right about now!
Kiwi ‘Gutto Rull’?
Rumblings out of Kiwi land that there are some discussions with Princess Richie Mo’unga about an early return (AKA contract cancellation) to the AB set up. It’s a sure sign of panic from incoming break dancer and sometimes coach, Scott Robbo, that the ABs totally suck and probably won’t win inithung without Princess Mo’unga back nearly in black. Look for a Kiwi version of the Giteau Rule to be rolled out soon I reckon.
That’s a Wrap.
The Godfather of G&GR, the Pope of Podcasts, the Ayatollah of Rugby-olla, Mr Shane ‘Sully’ Sullivan will again be back this weekend with his newly minted ‘Weekend Wrap’ article on G&GR. Whoever said there’s such a thing as too much rugby has never met Sully!
You can contact el supremo on: sully@greenandgoldrugby.com
Mothers’ Day.
We don’t ever say it enough do we, but this weekend find a minute, find a phone and where you can, say ‘thanks’ to those who helped raise you, guide you, love you and shape you to the person you are today. I certainly wouldn’t have wanted to raise me.
From us at G&GR and from my family to yours, happy Mothers’ Day.
Go the Tahs.
Hoss – out
