Hi, and welcome to the Melbourne Rebels 2014 Merchandise catalogue.
“Hi, we’re fashion designers for the Melbourne Rebels rugby team. Yes, we’re both hopelessly addicted to drugs. All of them. Pills too. Hello.”
Melbourne Rebels Home Uniform 2014.
FREE to a good home.
You can spill your drink all down the front and no prick will know.
Melbourne Rebels pair-look warm-up suit.
No skidmarks all up and down the backside or a bit to the side of the terry cloth.
PROMISE.
$4.50 O.N.O
Melbourne Rebels away game travel suit.
Now with comically short necktie.
For taking the piss and keeping the mood light.
$1.99
2014 away strip.
No swastika’s on the back. We promise.
$3.99
Melbourne Rebels away game travel suit.
$12,000*
*sorry about the fairly stiff price, it’s because
a) this colour technically no longer exists
and
b) the suit material itself is made from insects that all died and then went extinct in the f**kin’ 1970’s.
Scott Higginbotham arrives at Melbourne International Airport sky-high on quaaludes and tic-tacs and sporting the Melbourne Rebels home game leisure suit.
$7 bucks O.N.O