G’day G&GRs. To quote my wonderful friends at The Herd –
“No one in The Herd controls The Herd
We don’t know what’s goin’ on
That’s why it’s unpredictable.”
And that is exactly what this weekend was! Unpredictable! The whole final series has been thrown a curve ball and a half! Despite my team losing, I am still loving the rugby.
So let’s dive into the SRP Finals with a game-by-game review, Brisney style. Pour a large cup of the good stuff☕, and let’s talk about the game they play in heaven.
Super Rugby Pacific Qualifying Finals
Crusaders 32 defeated Reds 12
Crusaders 32 – Reds 12: Thirty-Love, and Out They Go – Well, folks, pour one out for the Queensland Reds because their 2025 Super Rugby Pacific campaign has been knocked on the head quicker than a bloke arguing with security at The Regatta after last drinks. The Crusaders—those smug, red-and-black juggernauts—have done it again. With a 32–12 drubbing in the Christchurch cold, they’ve extended their jaw-dropping record in home finals to a Federer-esque 30 wins, zero losses. You read that right. 30-zip. It’s the kind of streak that would make even Novak Djokovic blink twice.
The Reds went across the ditch knowing they’d need a miracle. What they got instead was a cold, hard reality check and five early penalties (at one stage the penalty count was 11-2, really?) that were more painful than a stubbed toe on a Sunday morning. Let’s be honest: the omens were bad before they even laced up the boots. Not only were Les Kiss’s charges up against the 12-time champions, but they’d also only managed one win from their last 14 against the Cantabrians. The Crusaders were riding a 16-match finals winning streak, and to top it off, they were at home, where teams go to die, apparently.
The Reds’ discipline flew out the window quicker than this author running to the pub when I hear Keith has decided to shout. They conceded the first five penalties, handed momentum on a silver platter, and the Crusaders didn’t need a second invite. Big Tamaiti Williams crashed over before limping off like he’d done enough already, and Scott Barrett—aka Captain Crush—followed suit. That was 12-0 at oranges and, honestly, it could’ve been more if James O’Connor hadn’t helped his old team out by missing one. A woeful kick to touch snuffed out a rare Reds reprieve just before halftime.
To their credit, the Reds came out swinging after oranges, but swinging without landing is just shadowboxing. Noah Hotham scooted in for a snappy little halfback try, Rivez Reihana slotted a penalty, and the Reds were down 27-0 before they’d even had a chance to fire a real shot. A couple of late meat pies gave the scoreboard a hint of makeup, but the post-mortem was already being drafted. That’s curtains on the Reds’ season, and with it, Aussie hopes now rest solely with the ACT Brumbies, who’ll try to keep the Southern Cross flying when they host the Hurricanes on Saturday night.
Three Things We Learned
- The Crusaders’ Christchurch streak is mythic – Thirty wins from thirty finals at home? That’s not a record, that’s a religious experience. You’d have better luck stealing a pie from a dog than winning in Christchurch in June.
- Discipline still kills dreams – Five early penalties, zero early composure. Finals footy is about pressure and patience—neither of which the Reds brought to the table. You can’t give the Crusaders a head start and expect to reel them in.
- Joe Schmidt’s Wallabies depth chart is getting easier to write – With players like O’Connor making basic errors under pressure, some jerseys may have quietly slipped further out of reach (mind you, I thought that was nice of old JOC 2.0 to help a brother out). Meanwhile, some Crusaders are practically gift-wrapping their Test resumes.
Blues 20 defeated Chiefs 19
Blues Burgle Win at the Death to Stun Chiefs and Keep Title Hopes Alive – Well bugger me sideways with a flathead fillet! The Super Rugby Pacific finals just flipped on their head, and it’s all thanks to a cheeky little smash-and-grab by the Blues in Waikato. In a low-scoring arm wrestle that would’ve made the Wallabies of old proud (not the recent vintage, mind you), the defending champs somehow stole a 20–19 win over the minor-prem-winning Chiefs with a last-minute, Hail Mary meat pie.
It was big unit Josh Beehre who did the job — the lanky lock found himself in the right spot at the right time, diving over the chalk in the 82nd minute to snatch the Blues’ golden ticket into the semis. That one try was all they needed — and the only one they’d score — but bloody hell, it was a belter. Up until then, it was a good old-fashioned kicking contest. Damian “Pinpoint” McKenzie and Beauden “Still Got It” Barrett were trading penalties like Topps footy cards in the schoolyard. McKenzie slotted one early, before BB said “hold my Steinlager” and matched it a couple of minutes later. And so it went.
The Chiefs looked like they were doing it easily for most of the match, dominating possession and field position while the Blues flirted with yellow card roulette. Ricky Riccitelli did in fact pull the short straw, copping a 🧀 for some roughhouse antics. Still, despite the one-man advantage and a busted front-row rotation (thanks HIA protocols), the Chiefs couldn’t crack the line.
Eventually, centre Daniel Rona decided he’d had enough of this nonsense and crashed over after 58 minutes, giving the locals what they thought was a match-winning buffer. Moments later, Blues winger Caleb Clarke almost hit back in style… until he forgot to actually finish the try and spilled it over the line like a dropped kebab at 2am. Hooker Kurt Eklund made amends not long after though, sneaking over to narrow the margin to under a converted try. D-Mac had a chance to ice it with a long-range penalty, but missed it by a whisker. That opened the door, and the Blues didn’t need to be asked twice.
Hoskins Sotutu thought he was the hero with a try near the death, but the TMO gave him the ol’ double-movement denial. Luckily for the Aucklanders, Beehre was there two minutes later to seal the deal and send Chiefs fans home with their jaws on the turf. The Brumbies-Hurricanes clash later on now becomes a straight shootout for the semis. Grab the popcorn, punters!
Three Things We Learned
- The Blues Still Have Ice in the Veins – Despite being under the pump for most of the match and barely threatening the line, the Aucklanders hung tough and made their moment count. That’s championship pedigree right there — not pretty, but clinical.
- The Chiefs Might Be Minor Premiers, But They’re Not Untouchable – Waikato’s finest have been slick all year, but this loss exposes a chink in the armour. You can’t rely on penalties alone in finals footy — you need to bury teams when they’re down, and the Chiefs let the Blues off the hook.
- Finals Footy is a Different Beast – Territory, possession, set-piece — all well and good. But in knockout rugby, it’s about moments. A dropped ball, a missed kick, or one monster effort in the 82nd minute can decide the season. And tonight, it did.
Brumbies 35 defeated Hurricanes 28
Brumbies Maul ‘Canes Into Submission, Storm Into Semi-Finals – Strap yourselves in, because the Brumbies have pulled on the big-boy boots, muscled up at GIO, and rumbled their way into another Super Rugby semi with a character-filled 35–28 win over the Hurricanes. It was a night for trench warfare in the nation’s ‘crap-hole’ of a capital, and the Brumbies packed the heavy artillery—none more effective than hooker Billy Pollard, who bagged a brace by doing what the Ponies do best: shunting blokes backwards in rolling mauls like they’re moving furniture in a rental inspection.
Let’s be honest: it wasn’t always pretty. It wasn’t flowing footy. But it was pure, unfiltered Brumbies. If you love forward-dominated bash-fests and lineout porn (and yes Nutta I am looking at you), this was your Mona Lisa. After the Canes opened the scoring with a sniping Ruben Love try, the Brumbies hit back in textbook Canberra fashion. Lineout. Maul. Rumble. Try. Repeat. Billy Pollard was the name on the scoresheet, but the try should be awarded to the entire pack for their synchronized ploughing of Kiwi turf.
The Hurricanes replied with a sharp effort to make it 14-all before Brumbies skipper Allan Alaalatoa did his best human-battering-ram impression to score off the back of a tight pick-and-drive drill session. Then came the moment that summed up the Brumbies’ belief: just before the break, they turned down a penalty shot from right in front and went to the corner. Risky? Maybe. But when you’ve got a rolling maul as effective as a tractor in mud, you back it. Pollard peeled off the blindside like he was pinching chips from the back of a Macca’s bag and crossed for his second.
Second half? More of the same. Tom Wright—whose haircut says “nightclub,” but whose boot says “fullback”—scored a silky one, only for the Canes to strike back through Bailyn Sullivan. Cue: James Slipper time. Old Slips, possibly powered by a pre-game meat pie and ten years of Test rugby, barged over for what proved to be the match-winner. The Canes got one back late, and had one last shot in the dying moments, but Luke Reimer produced the steal of the season to seal it and send the Viking horns blaring around Bruce Stadium.
So now, it’s off to Hamilton to face the Chiefs. And yes, history is not on our side: no Aussie team has ever won a finals match in the Land of the Long White Cloud. But if any Aussie team is going to do it, it’s the Brumbies—with their concrete set-piece, brick-wall breakdown, and a pack that eats pressure for breakfast.
Three Things We Learned
- Maul Me Once, Shame On You… – The Brumbies’ rolling maul remains the most feared weapon in Super Rugby. They built a win off it—again. If you don’t stop it early, it’s over. Like a Bunnings snag, you know what’s coming, but it still hits the spot every time.
- No Glam, Just Grit – You won’t see the Brumbies topping highlight reels with Harlem Globetrotter offloads. But what they bring is structure, discipline, and old-school mongrel. It’s not champagne rugby—it’s XXXX Gold footy. But it gets the job done.
- Aussie Hope Rests in Canberra – With the Reds long gone and the Force watching from the pub, it’s the Brumbies flying the flag for Australian rugby. They’ve made the semis four times in a row now. If any Aussie mob is gonna snap the Kiwi hoodoo in finals footy, this is it.
Semi-Finals
Well, here we are. As I stated earlier, I bet no one saw that coming at the start of the season! Down to the penultimate round, four teams are left. Knock-out finals it is for everyone now, no excuses. Pressure. Total Pressure!
The Blues are off down to Christchurch to do battle against the old enemy. And the Ponies are off to Hamilton. Two cracking games await.
Old Man Shouting at Clouds
Well this old fart was having a ‘bleet’ on the GAGR craparatzi about the officiating in the Reds V Dark Saders game. KARL was calling me a total whinger, and he might be partially right. But I will say straight up, the Reds didn’t lose that game because of Mr Williams and his whistle. But that being said, it also doesn’t mean that his blowing of the pea was up to SRP standard.
Ok, so what is it that I am really trying to say? A good question, well asked! The SRP is a professional sporting franchise. Owned by SANZAR, but run by RA and NZR. Its Final series is the jewel in its crown. But the shine has come off the brilliant product this year, with some very sub-standard officiating. It is time the officiating met the same standard that the players have to endure. I.E. have a crap game, spend the next one on the bench.
In addition to this, for the finals, we need to have neutral referumps. This takes any perceived fan bias out of the equation. So, where do these referumps come from? We ll that is a good question, well asked! So I turned to someone more knowledgeable than I in almost all aspects of the game, our resident Welsh Lady, Eloise! A swap with the URC or the Premiership! Whose finals happen to be on at roughly the same time?
Ok! So what does that get us? Well, here are three key things off the top of my head.
- The referumps would be neutral, for both competitions – For the finals, the referumps would be neutral just like in international tests. Both sides get to whinge about the Referump, but just at their competence, not about their impartiality.
- The Referumps all speak English – Coming from the URC or the Premiership, the referumps all speak English (or varying forms of it), therefore language would not be an obstacle to overcome.
- More Northern-Southern Hemisphere interaction – This is a good thing in my book. There is a difference in the way the two hemispheres adjudicate the game. The more interaction, the more cross-pollination. The less adjustment.
Anyway, enough of this old geezer bleeting! Over to you, GAGRs! Have at it!
