As the title suggests, the weekend’s tests had a lot of Clunk Eastwood about them. There was the good, the bad, and, in the Wallabies case, the ugly. The contrast was fundamentally evident having just watched the All Blacks and England. But hey, it’s international test rugby period, so I won’t complain too much.
The women’s game wasn’t completed while writing this so will leave that until Tuesday’s news. Also, if I watched another match I reckon I would’ve ended up divorced.
So, let’s pour into the games, do a mini-review, and then discuss the Wallabies and their performance. So strap yourself in, grab a big cup of you know what ☕, and let’s get it on.
International Tests
Italy 36 defeated Tonga 14
The Azzurri chalked up a handy win with a 36-14 victory over Tonga in Nuku’alofa on Friday as they recovered from an unexpected loss to Samoa during their Pacific holiday, er, tour. Their stylish flyhalf, Paolo Garbisi, iced the victory with a 14-point evening. This included a sweet little try among Italy’s 5 try haul.
The win got Italy back to a victorious mindset after blowing it out of their arse to Samoa in a 33-25 defeat. The Azzurri drew first blood when their flying winger, Jacopo Trulla, scored the first try. Italy maintained the screws on the Pacific Islanders with a peach of a pick-and-go that saw Monty Ioane cross for a converted try to take Italy to a 15-0 lead at oranges.
Both teams came out of the sheds fired up but it was Tonga’s Viliami Taulani who gave their faithful something to cheer for by bagging a close-range try just after the break. However, as soon as that occurred, the Azzurri returned fire with Michele Lamaro touching down for a sweet little meat pie. Not to be outdone, Garbisi, after converting Lamaro’s try, grabbed one himself.
Tonga tried desperately to forge their way back into the game with Fetuli Paea scoring, but after that, their discipline went to 💩. Tau Koloamatangi already on the receiving end of some 🧀, the referee finally lost his cool with Tonga’s inability to scrum and awarded Italy a penalty try to close out the game.
This victory has boosted Italy into the top ten world rankings. Italy is off to Nipponville next weekend to face Japan, where they have to consider themselves a red hot chance with Eddie dragging the Brave Blossoms down the toilet. As for Tonga, they get a chance to redeem themselves against Spain next weekend.
Scotland 42 defeated USA 7
That magical South African, oops Scotsman, Duhan van der Merwe, scored a record-equalling 27th international try as Scotland gave the United States a 42-7 touch-up on Friday. van der Merwe opened Scotland’s try-scoring in what was one way traffic at Audi Field in Washington D.C. His try saw him draw level with Stuart Hogg as Scotland’s record try scorer in international rugby.
Ewan Ashman, however, blew van der Merwe away in the try-scoring department, with the hooker grabbing a first half hat trick. All of these tries were on the back end of rolling mauls, with Scotland using its lineout and rolling maul to show the Americans how the game is played.
The American Eagles finally bothered the scorekeeper, with Tommaso Boni crossing for a nice little try, and after another Ashman try for Scotland, the first half drew to a close with the Haggis eaters up 28-7. The US defence was much improved in the second half but Scotland’s George Horne and Matt Fagerson were still able to cross for meat pies. And that finished out the kilt wearers’ punishment of the Seppos.
New Zealand 24 defeated England 17
The Darkness have gone up 2-0 over the Soap Dodgers for the Hillary Shield, winning 24-17 in Auckland on Saturday night in one of this year’s most thrilling test matches. The game started off at a blistering pace, with both sides going hard on attack, and as with the last encounter the Soap Dodgers managed to lead in the second half, only to have the Sheep Lovers come back and take the game away from them.
The first half was a blistering 40 minutes of rugby with both sides not scared to throw the ball around. The Kiwis this time had adjusted to the rush defence better and quicker than last week, but their errors both forced and unforced cost them.
The English were up 17-13 with less than 20 mins left on the clock and momentum in their favour. Maro Itoje was just staggering in his herculean efforts to try and get England over the line. But they just seemed to run out of puff.
They were leading 17-13 going into the last quarter after first-half tries by wings Immanuel Feyi-Waboso and Tommy Freeman, and they had the All Blacks wobbling. Itoje was magnificent, and a host of England players including Ben Earl and Jamie George gave it their all. But alas it was not to be.
Like the previous game they were denied a victory by a semi-controversial decision. But after a TMO review, Nic Berry (who had a good game with the whistle as a neutral watching the game) asked for a confirmed review, obstruction was confirmed and the Poms were denied a try that would have tied the game.
The Poms certainly played an intense game and left nothing on the bench and really do need to be commended for their efforts. They have certainly improved under Steve Borthwick from the basket case they were left under the Eddie ‘most hated man in Australian rugby’ Jones era. The Kiwis on the other hand are still looking like a team that is struggling with new combinations, a few injuries in key slots, a new coaching set-up and a lack of preparation time, yet still find a way to be the All Blacks and pull off a victory. Bags not facing them in the Rugby Championships.
Ireland 25 defeated South Africa 24
In an absolute nail-biter of a match, the numbers 1 and 2 teams went at it again with the Paddies grabbing an absolute clincher of a victory 25-24 via a drop goal win over the Dutch Dirt Farmers in Durban on Sunday morning. The win came via two drop goals from backup fly half Ciaran Frawley to shut out a hard-charging Bokke, who were coming home hard with a wet sail.
The Paddies were able to go to oranges up by 10 points and would have been happy with their lead from some good play, seeming to be able to control and hold out the Saffa pack. The DDFs didn’t have a good first half losing mercurial Willie le Roux with an HIA. But it didn’t stop them coming at the Guinness lovers hard. Mainly through the most ferocious second rower to play the game, Eben Etzebeth ,smashing hard into the Paddies, in a brutal display.
The back-and-forth of the second half was a great game of rugby, with whatever our favourite lunatic of the coaching variety, Rassie Erasmus, sprayed at the Springboks working, with the two teams pushing themselves to the max. But the Irish just seemed to be getting the better of the kicking duel. But this was countered by the Saffas using their boerewors eating pack to gain two scrum penalties which got them back into the game.
The onslaught of the Bokke, and Pollard constantly being able to put 3 points on the board, took them to a 24-19 lead. Somehow the Irish managed to stay in the game, and in the dying minutes launched an attacking raid. The Bokke held them up but Frawley was able to slot a peach of a drop goal to get them within three points. Back at it by both teams, but possession with the Irish Frawley again stepped up and on the hooter slotted another drop goal to take out the match and draw the series 1-1.
A brutal and bruising game that just further highlighted to me that the Wobs have a fair bit of work to do before the Rugby Championships.
Argentina 33 defeated France 25
Well a week after being given a bit of touch-up by a Froggy B team, the FISMs got some revenge and handed one back to the cheese eating surrender monkeys with a 33-25 victory.
The French team were without a number of players who were in the naughty books on alleged charges of racism, some on sexual assault and battery, and some who are just off to the Olympics. Oh dear! The Argies on the other hand had Pablo Matera running out for his 100th cap. The Frogs began rather slowly, with the FISMs controlling possession. The Argies maintained this pressure to dominate until halftime with a lead of 21-10 at oranges.
Galthie must have launched a bit of a spray in the sheds, as the French came out looking far better in the second half. But, alas, it wasn;t enough, with the FISMs managing to take the choccies.
The Wallabies
Wallabies 36 defeated Wales 28
Fiji-born, and former soccer goalkeeper, Filipo Duagunu, ran out in a man of the match performance scoring two tries to help the Wallabies in scoring their second successive victory over the Northern Hemisphere Sheep 🐑Shaggers.
RAWF put up a great match review here.
As mentioned in the title, there were a few good tests this weekend, a few bad, and this game was ugly. The Wallabies managed to deliver yet another unsightly victory, but it was a victory nonetheless. However, not all is bad. The combinations seem to be building and to be honest, the conditions in shite town (aka Melbourne) were not the best for a team trying to rebuild.
The positives are that there’s a clear plan and a vision that’s starting to come together. These are games that previously the Wobs would have screwed the 🐩 and lost. But, they’re managing to keep the faith and grind out a win.
Player Ratings
Here are the G&GR players ratings from this week’s test. And to be honest, there are no real surprises. The only one I’d rate higher is LSL, the amount of hard graft and dirty work that he got through was amazing.
Filipo Dangunu was my MotM, and on top of his two tries was very strong in defence. As usual, Sideshow Bobby V was consistently good with plenty of yards of carriage and turnovers at crucial points. Tom Wright was dynamic on attack with a brilliant solo try.
What are you thoughts on this G&GRs?
Anyway enough of this old man banging on. Over to you G&GRs. Have at it.
