‘Oh what a beautiful morning
Oh, what a beautiful day
I’ve got a wonderful feeling
The Tahs are gonna blow em away’
Good morning G&GRs and welcome to Friday and what a Friday it is! Tahs dominating the leader board across ALL criteria, wins, bonus points, for and against, a more accomplished wordsmith might call it ‘comprehensive’. Me, I’ll just call it the ‘natural order of things’.
Today let’s look into the rugby news that matters, preview round #2 teams, fixtures, coverage and fearless predictions. Take a look at gut-wrenching breaking news out of NZ yesterday afternoon. No longer content with diddling sheep, they are now trying to bugger us as well. Today we will round it out with Friday’s Fast 5 Bonus, identified by the Kremlin as the next in need of ‘peacekeeping force assistance’.
Round #1 Observations
Round #1 was pretty much as expected across the board. Certainly weather and rustiness contributed to some pretty average viewing (I am looking at you Reds & Rebels – man that was horrible to watch). But, by-the-by it was inline with my expectations overall.
A couple of things that really stood out to my whisky-infused eyes was how much ‘leaner’ the Aussie sides players all appeared in physique and combined with much more aggression in D. Let’s hope that’s the results of fantastic alignment from the National S&C guys down to the provinces, but certainly it appears the off-season has not be wasted by our five sides. As always the litmus test will be when we again front the Hobbits of Middle Earth later in season proper so we can better measure potential gains.
A few Oz players laid down ‘markers’. Dirty Harry Wilson was simply awesome. I was texting a large human from north of the border during the game and noted ‘that no other Oz forward scores that try’, when with 26 defenders on him he sticks out the arm of destiny and voila! That was just the icing on the cake, his change of line to hit that gap AND his one-handed grab of a high pass to control it were sublime. I am a card-carrying member of this young man’s fan club, it’s only his jersey colour that still rankles me. Born and bred Gunnedah kid in a pink jumper, it’s unnatural, it’s un-Australian it’s anti-evolutionary.
I thought Angus ‘The Bull’ Bell (Tahs bias aside) was the stand-out piggy of round 1. Just ahead of 7As who was epic for the Ponies with Dave Porecki the best of the Aussie rakes for mine. Bell’s not only terrific at the ‘meat & potatoes’ (Nutta’s work of a front rower), but terrific ball skills and ‘linking’ skills as well and is very much the ‘blueprint’ of the new gen of prop going forward. Izaac ‘The Lawyer’ Rodda was also imperious in his display against the Ponies and I thought Jed Holloway was also the other standout lock of the round.
On the down side. I thought the much vaunted Reds pack, Wilson aside, were average. Certainly their locks were passengers. It took Fraser McReight’s injection to spark the Reds pack as a unit. The Rebels as a collective were listless and gifted an ‘off’ Reds team what ended being an easy, slightly flattering victory. The Reds were right for the plucking but the Rebels rolled over and played dead.
The Force were their own worst enemies. That’s not to say they played bad, but with THAT much ball they needed more to show for it and as predicted last week when faced with a challenge the Brumbies resorted to type, two rolling maul tries and a get out of jail free card with 90 seconds left and they got the lollies. Fergus Lee-Warner was outstanding for the Force and was thereabouts for gold last year, but possibly lacks a bit of size to be an international player? But then again, Fards was no giant either and he did alright.
Round #deux
So to the week ahead – all teams, fixtures and coverage here, courtesy rugby.com.au.
Highlanders v Crusaders
- Friday 25 February 5:05 pm AEDT – Highlanders v Crusaders at Forsyth Barr Stadium, Stan Sport
- Another year, another well-oiled Crusaders outfit has started the season in great touch again. From any perspective you simply have to admire the systems they have in place down south dontcha. From the constant procession of youth development to on field consistency they’d have to be the best provincial side in the world wouldn’t they?
- Fearless prediction? The ‘Landers are no slouches, but the ‘Saders just ‘keep on keepin on’ Saders by 17.
Waratahs v The Reds
- Friday 25 February 7:45 pm AEDT – Waratahs v Reds at Leichhardt Oval, Stan Sport
- It’s only round two and already one of my favourite games (well – excluding the last 5 years or so) is here.
- It really will be an exciting contest, even this early in the year. The Bull & Porecki were standouts last week. The Tahs locks and loosies were terrific (young Will Harris at #8 was outstanding) and Perese absolutely creased people on both sides of the pill. Ben Donaldson looks composed and very sound at #10 and ‘Commissioner Gordon has grown as a leader, due in no small measure to the large amounts of acid applied to his testicles during the never ending nightmare that was season 21. The Reds? As mentioned above, the Rebels gifted them the game and the scoreboard and as a collective the Reds were flattered by that. But I am under no illusion that The Padre will have his team ‘up’ for this one. The one nagging voice, apart from the 13 others who have been medicated, the ‘strength’ of the Tahs ‘pine highway‘ v that of The Communists. IF the Tahs starting XV can amass a lead of 15-18 with 20 to go, then maybe, just maybe they can hold on and close it out. If it’s close when the subbies run on, than the Reds will run right over the top of ’em.
- Fearless prediction. Tahs by 2 (what did you expect?)
Brumbies v Fijian Drua
- Saturday 26 February 2:35 pm AEDT – Brumbies v Fijian Drua at GIO Stadium, on Stan Sport
- This is cold, heartless and unpopular to say, but the Drua & MP will be ‘cannon fodder’ for the first few years of SRP. They absolutely deserve their seat at the table, that is loooooonnnnnnggggg overdue, but so too will their development into a competitive, well-resourced outfit take time and until then, they will find SRP tough.
- Fearless prediction – Chuckles McKellar would’ve given ’em plenty on the training paddock this week and a few not so subtle axings to the first XV also handed out, I expect a ruthless & chastened display from the Ken Berrins & Brumbies by 30+.
Blues v Hurricanes
- Saturday 26 February 5:05 pm AEDT – Blues v Hurricanes at Forsyth Barr Stadium, on Stan Sport
- Bit hard to pick as it’s the Blues first run from a spell given their match against MP was canned last week. If the Blues of 21 appear then it could be a very entertaining, high scoring and close game and a real spectacle for the neutral viewer.
- Fearless prediction? On the back of a run last week and blowing out the cobwebs, I am going Canes by 6 and a high scoring match , something like 38-32.
Rebels v Force
- Saturday 26 February 7:45 pm AEDT – Rebels v Force at AAMI Park, on Stan Sport and Channel Nine
- The battle of the Aussie cellar-dwellers. Both teams will be miffed about last week. The Force for getting pipped at the post and the Rebels for playing like, well, like the Rebels. I expect more starch from the Rebs and maybe something out of left-field, like taking the endless attempts at 3 points the opposition offer you, the same ones they spurned in Brissie. I mean, ‘Whisky Tango Foxtrot’ were they thinking? It’s one thing to knock back a shot at the poles so you can ‘attack’. But here’s a tip for young punters, YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO ATTACK TO BEGIN WITH. Carter Gordon was awful, plain awful. Hodge was poor and their backs generally looked rudderless. All the more shame as I thought the Rebel pack were actually pretty good, lead superbly by skipper Michael Wells who always hooks in.
- Fearless Prediction? At home, Saturday night and it all to play for? Won’t make a difference, Force by 11. The Rebs could be in for a long year.
Chiefs v Moana Pasifika
- For the second week in a row the MP side’s debut has been put on hold due to player welfare concerns and their lack of preparation time to prepare. Coming out of COVID isolation only last Sunday and given just one week to prepare, had the potential for serious injuries to the MP players. While disappointing for them and their fans for sure, for mine it’s a prudent and considered call.
‘Bugger the Aussies’.
You heard it here first and I don’t want to overstate it or surrender to hyperbole, but, the ANZAC spirit is dead. Strangled in its sleep, corpse ‘interfered with’, photo albums of shared memories defecated on and in a true ‘scorch earthed policy’ their shared house razed to the ground.
Breaking news out of NZ last night that from this year the Bledisloe Cup Series will be a two test series only. Paul Cully of SMH who also moonlights under the pseudonym of ‘Paul Cully’ on stuff.co.nz reports that with the expiration of a 10 year contract in 2021 that mandated three tests per year, the NZR with a pocket full of American gold, have now dictated that we mere mortals are only worthy of the presence of these nearly All Black deities only twice a year!
My first reaction is that if we can’t win two of three to regain the cup, what chance are we two from two. My second is almost disbelief at the arrogance and sheer disdain they have for RA, the health of the code in Oz and fans in general.
I wouldn’t argue for a nano-second that Oz not winning the Bled for 113 years has dimmed the appeal somewhat, but surely there comes a time where the good of all is better than the good of one?
I’ll admit I am seething as I type this and objectivity (allegedly) is not usually a strength of mine at the best of times. But now the NZR have a fist full of dollars, why can’t I shake the image of a rat with a gold tooth when I think of them………………………………
History books are littered with the tales of hubris of once mighty peoples. NZR might take a moment and reflect and show some humility, as their players always do. Because history has taught us one indefatigable truth, sooner or later bullies always get what’s coming to them.
$4.5m buys a lot of sushi
Reports emanating from Georgina Robinson of SMH fame, has 208cm monster Rory ‘Andre the Giant’ Arnold, poised to sign a rather large three year contract with a Japanese Top-14 side, possibly the Sony Walkmanimotos on a whopping $1.5m pa. Of particular interest is that such a move would also fit nicely into a ‘rejigged’ Giteau’s Law that could see revised selection criteria, like number of caps and/or years service to the game in Oz, coupled with a ‘cap’ on how many OS-based players Moses could select.
My verdict. The rumoured selection criteria changes seems a ‘no-brainer’ and common sense. At first glance it would appear to stop any potential mass migration of our players north chasing the pound, yen or euro while at the same time allowing for lucrative sabbaticals for those players we still want to wear orange. It ‘appears’ a win-win for all. But like everything with RA, the devil will always be in the detail.
But for now it’s a cautious ‘thumbs up’ from me and welcome back Andre.
However while Georgina giveth, Georgina also taketh away, as the same article reports Reds back-rower Lukhan ‘FKA’ Solokai-Loto is headed north to the UK league on a reported $600k pa. In my humble opinion FKA has yet to fully realise his potential and his loss is covered by any number currently ahead of him on the pecking list. But GR also reports that ‘The Abattoir’, Nella Tupou is also keen to go after the 2023 RWC, despite RA planning for him to be the face of our 2027 campaign and home cup.
If you don’t read any other rugby article this week, you should read the full GR SMH story here.
Friday’s Fast 5 Bonus
Mate v Mate, State v State, Tracksuit v Thongs?
In the build up to this weeks Tahs v Reds clanger, the usual battlecrys are ringing out from both sides of the border. The Padre has told Mother Tucker on rugby.com.au that his distaste for all things blue started:
“They just seemed to have the flash stuff, the sharp tracksuits, all the get-up. It was the way they were getting around in it.
Thank Christ he didn’t dig deeper into breeding, climate, education, governance, lifestyle, income levels, life expectancy otherwise he’d really be pissed off. Not all is lost though. The QPQR still beat us, comprehensively, for fewest number of own teeth, banjo-ownership rates, cousin marriages per capita and for the premier with the best moustache. Well played you lot.
French Affair
Good article from the guy whose parents wanted him to be a fast runner or good fighter at school, Christy Doran, on FUX Sports about a long Parisian lunch between Hamish ‘The Hammer’ McLennan and failed rugby commentator Phil Kearns. A lunch with Bernie Laporte was held to help cement ties with The French, and by association World Rugby, in our bid for the 27 cup hosting rights. And a tasty little after-dinner mint, a game against Les Frogs on French soil in the lead up to RWC23.
Where did he go?
Didn’t see much of the Kiwi games, bits and pieces while I practised drinking. But I saw this and it was one of those ‘no he didn’t’ moments. Blindside raid by the Chiefs, Aaron Smith in cover and….where did he go? Check it out here.
Finally Richie looses at something!
stuff.co.nz reports that not content with perhaps being rugby’s GOAT, Sur Rucchee is chanelling his competitive juices into other arenas these days. Having finished second (loser) with his team last year the great one has entered again this gruelling 9 day event, for shuts and guggles. How’s thus for a formet:
‘The 666km-long race through the diverse wilderness is made up of 365km of mountain biking, 140km of paddling, and 190km of trekking with much of the course open during the night meaning competitors have minimal sleep during the race.’
Bugger thit.
Thy kingdom for a Prop!
While on stuff.rugby.nz a really good read from Mark Reason. While it is a Kiwi focused ‘take’ on their need for props to match those up north, it’s also a cautionary tale of just how good the 6N forwards seem to be at present. Watching The Paddies and The Frogs whack away at each other two weeks back was very rugby edumecational and while I loved the game, I also thought ‘shit, hang on……..’
Until next week. Take it away Fatboy Slim and the Tahs team song.
GO YOU BLUE THINGS
Hoss – out.
