My fellow Hosstralians, welcome to another edition of Friday’s Rugby News.
Test match rugby is back, so too the final pool matches for the RWC and with so much rugby G&GR has you covered. Put the phone on silent, grab a comfy spot in the cell, relax and off we go. Today we kick off with a preview of the next Wallaby test in ‘The boys are back in town’. Then look at the wider implications at ‘But what’s it all mean?’. Break down what our Wallaroos need to accomplish in ‘For & Against’. Cast an eye over the ditch with ‘Who’d be a Kiwi, hey cuz!’. Celebrate some good news in ”Flash’ back’ before farewelling the working week with a booming ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, recovering from a week on the piss with some commie dictator mates, Xi, Vlad and Dan.
The boys are back in town.
Wallabies v Los Pumas. Townsville (god only knows why) Saturday, 6 September, 2:00pm (2:45 kick off) AEST on Stan.
With this week’s selections St Joe has very much confirmed he has an eye for the future and that building combinations remains at the centre of his rugby universe.
The side this week welcomes back Tom ‘Sleepy’ Lynagh and ‘Dirty’ Harry Wilson from injury. The ‘Ginger Ninja’ Andrew Kellaway gets the #15 jersey while Tom ‘Mongo’ Hooper moves to the second row for the escargot fan, Will Skelton. I think the days of experimenting and chopping and changing seem to be done. St Joe has a clear picture of the nucleus of his side and he continues to build on combinations and patterns, so that our Wallabies will arrive at RWC2027 with genuine connection and unity. No doubt there’ll be injuries, form fluctuations and player resting/rotation, but it seems clear to this hack, impostor writer that the foundation stones of this Wallaby side are now set.
But before we get to 2027, there’s just the little matter of a rather awesome Los Pumas side itching to get at our lot on Saturday. The only genuine surprise surrounding the Argies is that there’s still genuine surprise in some quarters that they are the real deal. A team with good hands, beautiful long and short passing game, a variety of kicking options and a big mobile pack, the Los Pumas of 2027 are a quality, classy, skilled and very dangerous side.
It would seem the balance of Cheika adding the aggro, the steel and instilling self- belief (to follow on from Super Mario Ledesma’s work) to the side with a liberal sprinkling of flair, pace and skill from Contepomi, stir in large dollops of passion and there you have the 2027 Los Pumas. A rather complete rugby side and really enjoyable to watch.
Fearless Prediction: The golden warriors by 8. I can’t shake the feeling that pedantic Paul Williams might have an oversized impact on this match though.
WALLABIES (15-1): Andrew Kellaway; Max Jorgensen, Joseph-Aukuso Suaalii, Len Ikitau, Corey Toole; Tom Lynagh, Nic White; Harry Wilson (capt), Fraser McReight, Rob Valetini; Tom Hooper, Nick Frost; Taniela Tupou, Billy Pollard, Tom Robertson
Replacements: Brandon Paenga-Amosa, Angus Bell, Zane Nonggorr, Jeremy Williams, Carlo Tizzano, Tate McDermott, James O’Connor, Filipo Daugunu
Argentina (15-1): Juan Cruz Mallia; Bautista Delguy, Lucio Cinti, Santiago Chocobares, Mateo Carreras; Santiago Carreras, Gonzalo Garcia; Pablo Matera, Juan Martin Gonzalez, Marcos Kremer; Pedro Rubiolo, Franco Molina; Joel Sclavi, Julian Montoya (capt), Mayco Vivas
Replacements: Ignacio Ruiz, Boris Wenger, Francisco Coria Marchetti, Guido Petti, Joaquin Oviedo, Agustin Moyano, Geronimo Prisciantelli, Benjamin Elizalde
Referee: Pedantic Paul Williams (NZR) Assistant Referee 1: Christophe Ridley (RFU) Assistant Referee 2: Sam Grove-White (SRU) TMO: Mike Adamson (SRU) FPRO: Glenn ‘Kramer’s mate’ Newman (NZR)
But what’s it all mean?
The game within the game.
Besides the fact that the 2025 TRC title remains very much up for grabs, there’s the macro issue (that ones for you Goog) of World Rugby rankings and their implications on RWC2027 seedings. This was well articulated by Morgan Turinui on Between 2 Posts this week. Turinui suggested these next two matches against Los Pumas are more critically important to the future of the Wallabies and the code in OZ than perhaps any since the RWC2015 final. And so important is it that we secure a top #6 ranking, that he’d rather lose this year’s Bledisloe Cup and win these matches, than the other way round. And I find myself agreeing. For the Wallabies to be successful and by default, for RA to financially maximise the financial returns for RWC2027 (and by doing so, set up the code financially for a generation), the Wallabies simply must go deep into their own RWC.
Secure a top #6 ranking and our side are nearly guaranteed to make the quarters at the RWC and likely face a tier 2 ranked nation, like Portugal or Wales. But fall outside the top #6 and we’ll be in a pool with one of The Nearlies, The Catholics, Frogs, Soap Dodgers, Oirland or the FISMs and if you get through, the QFs could be a nightmare opponent.
The Argies (83.40 and 7th place) have narrowed the gap to just 1.45 points to our 6th placed Wallabies on 84.85 points. Indeed, if they beat us in this one the two sides will swap positions on the ladder. And with 30 November bearing down faster than an Israeli tank on hungry children, only those top #6 sides are guaranteed not to meet each other in the pool stages of RWC2027.
There’s so much more than just a win on the line in Townsville for this one. Talk about rank anxiety! If the Wallabies can get out of Townsville with a win and their team bus hasn’t had its wheels stolen, that’ll be a great result.
For & against.
Sunday, 7 September 2:00 am AEST: England v Australia at Brighton & Hove Albion Stadium, Brighton & Hove, on Stan Sport and the Nine Network
So were our Wallaroos lucky, unlucky, hard done by or did they get out of jail against the DS of A last week? To be frank, it doesn’t matter now. Those results are done and dusted and only the Wallaroos can decide their fate from here.
Watching the match again and there were several ‘sliding door’ moments. The Seppo has her first conversion roll off the tee and subsequently times out. Than there’s the ‘dual poster’. The attempt hits the left post, ricochets and hits the right post and instead of then bouncing over the cross bar, it bounces out! Our #9 Sam Wood has a reasonably easy conversion to put the Wallaroos in front and hits it like a dead cat and misses left. That’s not blaming the kickers as such, just that each side had its moments to win. That aside, the Wallaroos have much more control of their destiny to make the QFs than the Seppos do.
As it stands the Red Roses of Ol’ Blighty have secured a QF berth. While the Wallaroos and the Sceptic Tanks can possibly finish level on points, it’s the fact the Wallaroos have a 135 point ‘for & against’ differential advantage to the red, white & ooh that puts our girls in pole position. Put simply, the Yanks will need to score a 80-90 point winning margin against Samoa (and I don’t reckon the Americans have that amount of points in them) and the Wallaroos lose by 50-60 points against the Poms for the Yanks to breach the seismic F&A deficit they have and grab a QF berth from the Wallaroos. Of course, should the Wallaroos get any sort of bonus point (score four tries or lose by less than seven points) in their match, then they are through to the QFs regardless of the America v Samoa result.
As for the Poms, unfortunately for all, they’re pretty bloody good rugby players. They’re well drilled, have speed out wide, they play a cohesive brand, are brutal as a forward pack yet can counter attack from anywhere. Plus there’s the pretty handy fact that they’ve been unbeaten since the last RWC final. On top of all that, I actually enjoy watching them play.
No doubt our girls are up against it, but I’ll more than settle for a four try bonus point, the Seppos out and our golden girls live to fight another day. And once you’re in the finals, well, anything can happen.
Fearless Prediction: Wallaroos to quarters, despite an English win.
ENGLAND (1-15): Hannah Botterman, Amy Cokayne, Maud Muir, Rosie Galligan, Abbie Ward, Morwenna Talling, Sadia Kabeya, Natasha Hunt, Zoe Harrison, Jess Breach, Tatyana Heard, Megan Jones, Abby Dow, Ellie Kildunne
Replacements: Lark Atkin-Davies, Kelsey Clifford, Sarah Benn, Lilli Ives Campion, Maddie Feaunati, Lucy Packer, Holly Aitchison, Helena Rowland
Wallaroos (1-15): Lydia Kavoa, Adiana Talakai, Asoiva Karpani, Kaitlan Leaney, Michaela Leonard, Piper Duck, Ashley Marsters, Siokapesi Palu, Samantha Wood, Faitala Moleka, Desiree Miller, Trilleen Pomare, Georgina Friedrichs, Maya Stewart, Caitlyn Halse
Replacements: Tania Naden, Faliki Pohiva, Bridie O’Gorman, Annabelle Codey, Emily Chancellor, Tabua Tuinakauvadra, Tia Hinds, Ceciia Smith
Who’d be a Kiwi, hey cuz!
The Nearly All Blacks v The Dutch Dirt Farmers. Eden Park Saturday, 6 September 3:30pm AEST on Stan
In the black corner:
What a difference a loss makes. World #1 (you’re welcome), a mythical culture of ‘good people making good All Blacks’ (how do you explain Reiko Ioane then, huh?) to suddenly a side under pressure. A rookie coach, who’s a rotten selector (according to home grown media and ex players), oh and the dual world champions laying in wait to tear a gaping hole of that most precious and revered record that Kiwis hold close to their bosom: unbeaten at Eden Park for a thousand years or so.
Fresh from being outplayed in Argentina somewhere, the Kiwis find themselves at home and under the pump. Former players, ex-coaches and any hack with a keyboard are lining up to ‘stuck the slupper’ into their own. And it sure makes for great viewing, especially from our side of the ditch.
Razor has responded with five changes to the run on side that lost to the FISMs with his XXIII to face the side formerly known as South Africa (more on that a bit below). Strangely, Sevu Reece has been dropped from the match day side entirely, but all round good guy and lovable rogue, Reiko Ioane has been retained? Emoni Narawa will wear the #14 jersey instead.
In the green corner:
The mighty Bokke. Worthy dual champions. A formidable side. Legends of the game. Masterfully coached. But the same imperious team they were from 2019-2023? Just ain’t no way, just ain’t no how.
Now before you Saffas get in a tanty and start breaking things and have your servants clean it up, your side is still rather impressive, they just ain’t the Bokke of old, that’s all. And I use a huge favourite of mine, Malcom ‘Karl’ Marx, as ‘exhibit A’ for the Hossecution. To my eye Karl has lost some size, certainly a yard or two of pace and to be frank, he was manhandled by Mongo Hooper and co in the tests in Boerville recently. The once feared physicality of the Boks has maybe not vanished but perhaps matched more by opposing sides than previously. Certainly father time has caught up with a few of yesterday’s legends and made them look merely mortal now. Sure the Bok are still to be respected. But feared? Not so much.
Coach Jaco Johan has made four changes to the starting side who were gifted the match in Cape Town by James Doleman and his posse of match officials, who apparently had their eyes painted on. Arm flapping, hanky wrenching Jesse Kriele has kept the whiners captain’s armband for this one with injured regular skipper Siya Kolisi recovering from a sore knee, injured while posing for his premature post-try celebrations, during their belting at altitude by our Wallabies (historically, Joe Schmidt’s Wallabies remain unbeaten at altitude in SA). Johan also welcomes back PSDT from PTSD, octogenarian Willie le Roux (who fought in the Boer War) starts at #15, while hand gun enthusiast Eben ‘call me Clint’ Etzebeth, also makes his return to the starting XV. Is it just me or does the whole Bok side have a Dad’s Army feel to it?
Anyway, with an under pressure Kiwi coach and questionable selections and an underperforming Springbok side on the plus-side of old facing them, this still has all the ingredients to be a classic match. The ABs defending their fortress and copping a heap of friendly fire at home. The proud Boks desperate to prove their ageing warriors have still got it. Bring it on.
Fearless Prediction: There just ain’t no ANZAC without NZ. Besides, I’d cheer for anyone but England against the Bokke. Nearlies by 5.
All Blacks: Will Jordan, Emoni Narawa, Billy Proctor, Jordie Barrett, Rieko Ioane, Beauden Barrett, Finlay Christie, Wallace Sititi, Ardie Savea, Simon Parker, Tupou Vaa’i, Scott Barrett (capt), Fletcher Newell, Codie Taylor, Ethan de Groot.
Replacements: Samisoni Taukei’aho, Tamaiti Williams, Tyrel Lomax, Fabian Holland, Du’Plessis Kirifi, Kyle Preston, Quinn Tupaea, Damian McKenzie.
South Africa: Willie le Roux, Cheslin Kolbe, Jesse Kriel (capt), Damian de Allende, Canan Moodie, Handre Pollard, Grant Williams; Siya Kolisi, Pieter-Steph du Toit, Marco van Staden, Ruan Nortje, Eben Etzebeth, Thomas du Toit, Malcolm Marx, Ox Nche.
Replacements: Jan-Hendrik Wessels, Boan Venter, Wilco Louw, Lood de Jager, Kwagga Smith, Cobus Reinach, Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu, Ethan Hooker
Referee: Killer Karl Dickson (RFU) Assistant Referee 1: Nika ‘what high contact’ Amashukeli (GRU) Assistant Referee 2: Jordan ‘Kurdsand’ Way (RA) TMO: Brett ‘Mick’ Cronan (RA) FPRO: Eric ‘Kermit’ Gauzins (FFR)
‘Flash’ back.
It might be gaolball but, finally, there’s some good news for the Gordon family with Carter ‘Flash’ Gordon cleared to make his loig debut this weekend. Flash suffered a rare spinal leak injury that had threatened to derail his entire sporting career. Instead the eight-test Wallaby finds himself slated to run out for the Gold Coast Titans this Saturday night. It’s much welcome news for both Carter and the Gordon family with younger brother Mason forced into premature retirement in May of this year after suffering ongoing medical issues from a pre-season concussion.
While I don’t like his chosen sport (and hope he finds his way back to the golden lands after he gets Dr Evil out of his system), I do like the fact that this young athlete is back on the paddock and wish him all the best from us at G&GR.
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
Raise the bat.
While on the Nuns, huge G&GR congratulations to the Kiwi warhorse and perpetual candidate for best player on the planet, one Ardie Savea. Savea runs out for test #100 this week and he still has a lot more to come. Well done and congratulations, Ardie.
Jack attack.
In good news for Tahs fans, it has been confirmed that former Pony (and one time NSW schools and club player) Jack Debreczeni has signed on. With 10 years Super Rugby experience, a calm head and a super boot Jack D will be rather handy for the sky blues. I also thought he was outstanding for the Ponies this year from the pine.
Samoa hates Seppos.
Good to see the Samoan Brozettes showing some Oceania love towards our Wallaroos in this bit on rugby.com.au and their determination to stick it to the Seppo sisterhood.
Haters gonna hate.
One of the better sports quotes I’ve read in a while, from Felipe Contepomi: ‘I hate losing, more than I love winning’
Cash for comments.
RA has cleared their debts, stuffed some Johnny in the company mattress and all is now well. So it stands to reason that there will be more media accreditations available for next year doesn’t it Mr Waugh! Imagine if Australia’s biggest rugby fan site (called G&GR), that also happens to get more digital engagement than say, oh I dunno, RA’s own website, was rightfully allocated appropriate media accreditation and access. Wouldn’t that be noice.
Mediocrity rewarded.
Dual fourth placegetters in the last two 6Ns and never made it anywhere interesting at a RWC, Scotland, have rewarded rank mediocrity and retained the services of current (and their longest serving coach ever) Gregor Townsend. If ever an announcement screamed ‘no one else applied’ this would be it. Well done, Gregor. I think.
He whom laughs last, last laughs.
Interesting topic in the news lately (well covered here in theguardian.com) that slid under the radar a wee bit. Western United, a Mexican manbun-roundball-club, have been kicked out of the A League competition for that peculiar Melbourne ailment: not paying players, stakeholders, legal entities or anyone at all really.
Now why does that ring a bell? Oh that’s right, that’s the same sporting organisation the former Rebel board (who did such a stellar job) proposed linking with as part of their ‘vision’ for saving the Rebels by moving them to the outer burbs of Sombreroville and utilising the Western United sporting infrastructure (investors have now bailed out of that as well) and drawing on their appeal and business acumen (words that should never appear in a story with the word Melbourne in it).
With this news, I’d encourage the head of RA, Mr Dan Herbert to head to the nearest photocopier, loosen the daks and climb on up. Sometimes it feels just so wholly appropriate and liberating to ‘scan’ your arse cheeks and email it to those who were so smug, so entitled and just so wrong.
The Golden G&GR
We will post a match review tomorrow including The Golden G&GR and your chance to vote 5-1 for the Wallabies you thought stood out.
Fantasy update.
A reminder to get your fantasy selections in for this week. After two rounds the coveted #1 spot is up for grabs.
