Greetings one and all and welcome to another Friday’s Rugby News, the prelude to a thumping weekend of rugby in both hemispheres.
Before we start today, big shout out to all those located in areas of QPRQ likely to be impacted by Cyclone Alfred. I hope you are prepped as best you can and batten down the hatches for a wild 12-24 hours starting later tonight. I’ve been through a few hairy east coast lows, but nothing like what you’re bracing yourselves for. Stay smart. Stay safe. Possessions can be replaced, lives can’t.
A brimming rugby weekend and much to dissect, so off we go with ‘Cotter Knocks Knockers, Knocking Sam Nock’s ‘Knock”. Take a revealing look into our SRP season thus far in ‘What’s not to Like?. Preview SRP #4 in ‘2025: Drought Breaking?‘ Preview Round #2 of SRW with ‘No Love Lost.’. Take a trip to the lands Trump hates in ‘6N: Penultimate Permutations’. And put the cherry on top of a spectacular rugby weekend, with with ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, wondering if Alfred will be the biggest hammering to happen in Brisbane since the Tahs put 52 on the Reds in 2018.
Cotter Knocks Knockers, Knocking Sam Nock’s ‘Knock’.
‘Nock’s knock.‘
Who’s there?
‘Cheating.’
‘Cheating who?’
‘Cheating Blues, bru.’
Last week in the dying stages of a terrific Blues v Canes match, with Hoskins Sotutu missing due to a red card and under pressure from the Canes who were funnushung fust, Blues replacement halfback, Sam Nock suffered a suspected HIA injury. Or did he?
Leading 33-29 in the 79th minute and winless in the SRP season at that point, the Blues were awarded the scrum feed 5m out from their own line. Low and behold, Sam Nock went down with what appeared to be a leg injury at the time. However, Blues medics deemed the injury to be a HIA, thus facilitating the return to field of the previously replaced (and AB scrum half at that) Funlee Chrusstee.
Enter stage right an Aussie to sort out the cheating mess, referee Gus Gardner. Gus gave the independent medics time to assess the incident and the player, with the medics reaching the conclusion that in fact the thigh bone was not connected to the head bone. The appeals for HIA were duly dismissed and the game went on.
Nock eventually left the field (with a leg injury!) and this meant the Blues were down to 14 men. Little known Japanese import Beauden Barrett-san moved to halfback and Corey Evans entered the field. History will show the Blues held on, but with more than a whiff of skullbuggery skullduggery in the last few minutes.
stuff.co.unzid reports coach ‘Stern Vern’ Cotter was having none of it when challenged by Kiwi press. Indeed the coach bristled at suggestions of ‘cheating’, claiming ‘ut’s only chittung uff you gut away wuth utt. We gut sprung, so upsu fuctto, utt cun huddlee be chittung, cun ut bru?’.
Reactions across Kiwi rugby press have been decidedly less than impressed with the Blues ‘antics’ with many questioning the tactic, ethics, hick, even just the optics of it all. But perhaps the last word and telling insight into the soul of Kiwi rugby should go to Mils Muliaina. When pressed by Kirstie Stanway, presenter of The Breakdown:
KS: ‘Were the Blues trying to cheat, but just didn’t get away with it?’
MM: ‘If they were and were trying to break the rules, what coach doesn’t try and break the rules?‘
Confirmation of what Australian rugby fans have always suspected, hey Mulls!
One thing’s for certain, after last week’s ‘efforts’ the Blues deservedly have more ‘knockers’ than a library full of ‘Carry On’ movies.
What’s not to like?
If you’re not impressed by the quality of the SRP product thus far this season, then please check your pulse. Chances are you’re dead and don’t realise it yet, or have moved to South Australia and are living some zombie-like induced coma, or work in the public service.
The rugby on show has been spectacular. Close finishes, well officiated, high octane and a delight to behold. And the misconception in all of this is that the quality of defences must be poor. I sat down for my weekly dose of Stan’s ‘Inside Line’ this week, where some interesting stats were discussed for the SRP season to date:
- Tackle efficiency (excluding the Drua) > 83%.
- Three rounds in = highest scoring season/best points average per game (67.4 points per game).
- Fourth smallest margins of victory at same time against previous SR comps. Two of the three seasons with smaller margins were the COVID impaired domestic only campaigns of SRA and SRNZ, which to be fair are really outliers in comparison.
- Average running metres/game = highest ever at 948m.
- Game duration period, not ball in play but ‘first whistle to last whistle’ (excluding the half time break), of 91 minutes, some 4-5 minutes quicker than comparable NH competitions.
The Bovine Sprinkler also pointed out the impact of fatigue contributing to the quality of the spectacle and the closeness of results. With ‘starting’ XV players tiring quicker. Meaning the bench is used earlier, they too are tiring quicker, which in turns creates the spectacle of games being decided in the last 5 minutes.
Cattle baron Tim Horan, finally contributed an interesting observation about the clear air and ‘floating fan’ engagement that the current season promises as a perfect springboard for the BIL tour. Traditionally rugby has around three weeks between the end of the cricket season and the start of defendant-ball in Sydney, and whatever that ‘merit award for everyone’ dog’s breakfast of a sport they play in Mexico is. In previous years the quality of those first three weeks of SRP has been decidedly ho-hum. So much so that the floating fan wanders back to their code of preference. But this year, well, the floating fans are engaging more and are likely to stay longer, due to the quality of the SRP product.
I would add that there’s some goodwill and traction around rugby in Oz at present and that augurs extremely well. The form of the Wallabies on the northern tour (how critical was that last try win against the Soap Dodgers now, when viewed through the rear view mirror of ‘momentum’). The redistribution of the Rebels talent bolstering the competitiveness of the remaining four Oz provinces. The quality of the match officiating and the continued quality of the administration of the game by RA sees the code with a launching platform like no other since 2001 – 2003.
Long may it last.
2025: Drought Breaking?
Round 4 of SRP kicks off this evening and finishes with a Sunday afternoon belter in store for us all. You can catch the team lineups in Nutta’s Thursday News. Is it too early to say the Waratahs an Australian side will win it this year?
Friday 7 March 5:35 pm AEDT – Blues v ACT Brumbies at Eden Park, Auckland. STAN Sport
The Kiwi Cheetahs host the Ponies to kick off round 4 in what should be a good game. There were times that the Brumbies looked outstanding last week. Scintillating tries. That cover tackle by Wright on D-Mac was brilliant. But then they’d drop a kickoff and give up soft tries and undo all the good work.
One of my favourite players for the ACT side is Rory Scott. He gets through a mountain of work, is abrasive, tackles well, gets into contact and is a real unsung hero of the Ponies pack. Having said that, the Brums front row has been ho-hum so far and they need to rise to occasion to beat the Cheetahs at their home ground. The missing element for the Brumbies is the still injured Sideshow Bob Valetini. It underscores just how much the Ponies and us Wallaby fans need this man fit and firing against the incoming FUKIRs. Nobody, and I do mean nobody, makes metres in traffic and provides front foot ball like Sideshow Bob.
Fearless Prediction: Brumbies by 6. Blues to have a number of HIAs when behind.
Referee: James Doleman Assistant Referees: Fraser Hannon, Warwick Lahmert TMO: Richard Kelly
Saturday 8 March 1:35 pm AEDT – Fijian Drua v Chiefs at Churchill Park, Lautoka. STAN Sport
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I don’t believe the Drua get their fair share of 50/50 calls from MOs. They could have been 3-0 this season, but instead line up at 0-3 and that’s not reflective of the team they are, the rugby they play or the closeness of each match.
This week they’re at home to a McKenzie-less Chiefs and while their home fans might be player #24 for them, the expected Lautoka weather of 33 degrees and rain, will be player number #25.
Fearless Prediction: Drua by 12.
Referee: Damon Murphy Assistant Referees: George Myers, Jordan Kaminski TMO: James Leckie
Saturday 8 March 5:05 pm AEDT – Moana Pasifika v Hurricanes at North Harbour Stadium, Auckland, on STAN Sport
The MP side have been involved in fixtures with over 90 points scored yet they’ve finished just foul of the scoreboard. Ardie Savea is perhaps the best player in SRP this season. His commitment to the MP cause goes far beyond any contract or payment; he’s the spiritual soul of this side. Once they learn to win the close ones and get on a roll, look out competition!
Can they do it against KARL’s Canes this weekend?
Fearless Prediction: Yes they can. MP by 5
Saturday 8 March 7:35 pm AEDT – NSW Waratahs v Western Force at Allianz Stadium, Sydney, on STAN Sport and NINE Network
I won’t be able to get to the game although I’ll be in Sydney this weekend, and that might be a good thing with Chuckles McKellar ringing the changes. The backline and the bench has me a tad nervous against a battle hardened and much improved WA outfit.
The battle of the loose forwards of the Tahs, Leota, Gamble and Gleeson, against Tizzano, de Crespigny and Harris will be one to watch. The Tahs loosies have been terrific so far. But I’d argue the usual starting trio for the Force of Tizzano, de Crespigny and Prinsep (on the pine for this one) have been better.
Certainly the Force backs have been terrific and man for man look a more dangerous and cohesive unit in this one. Indeed in my opinion, if a Wallabies squad was selected today, Ben Donno would be #10 (just ahead of Lynagh) and the always excellent Hamish Stewart at #12.
One would hope the Tahs starting forwards can get a lead that the finishers can hold onto. Otherwise the unpalatable, unthinkable and unacceptable just might happen.
Fearless Prediction: Tahs by 1. If you expected anything different you must be new here.
Referee: Angus Mabey Assistant Referees: Graham Cooper, Matt Kellahan TMO: Brett Cronan
Sunday 9 March 1:35 pm AEDT – Crusaders v Queensland Reds at Apollo Projects Stadium, Christchurch, on Stan Sport
Hands down match of the round and a rugby contest that has me salivating like a beef and pepper pie at midday.
All Black v Wallaby. Actually, it’s Wallaby v Wallaby with JOC3.0 on the pine for the Saders. What’s not to like about this fixture? Pace to burn in the fairies with fast, fit and skilful forwards on both sides and experience, size and skill on each bench. One thing’s for sure, when the final whistle blows, one team will have won by three points and I reckon the total points scored could well be in the 80s. As a rugby fan these matches are ones you savour. Can’t wait.
Fearless Prediction: Reds by 3. Tom Lynagh’s boot to be the difference.
No love lost.
After a fast and physical start to the SRW season that saw a narrow win, a draw and a bye, all teams head into round 2 with a lot to play for. Indeed the biggest +/- points differential is the Tahs at -6. This season is shaping as a real doozy for us fans with seemingly all SRW teams a chance of claiming the title with bonus points likely to prove very, very valuable.
Saturday 8 March 11:05 am AEDT – Fijian Drua v Queensland Reds at Churchill Park, Lautoka on STAN Sport
The Reds have the dubious pleasure of travelling to Hades this weekend to take on the Drua. I said last week that Fijiana were notoriously slow starters to their SRW campaigns and I may have ‘misspoken’ (current weasel words for ‘shit, I got that completely wrong’).
The Drua this year look fitter and faster, yet still flamboyant and that’s bad news for all. Look for the Drua to run the bigger Reds pack around and let Lautoka take care of the rest.
Fearless Prediction: Drua by 19.
DRUA (1-15): Salaniete Nabuli, Keleni Marawa, Vika Matarugu (c), Mereoni Nakesa, Asinate Serevi, Alfreda Fisher, Salaseini Railumu, Karalaini Naisewa, Kolora Lomani, Salanieta Kinita, Alowesi Nakoci, Josivini Naihamu, Vitalina Naikore, Repeka Tove, Luisa Tisolo Replacements: Loraini Senivutu, Anasimeci Korovata, Tiana Robanakadavu, Merevesi Ofakimalino, Nunia Daunimoala, Setaita Railumu, Litiana Vueti, Merewairita Neivosa
REDS (1-15): Bree-Anna Browne, Tiarna Molloy, Eva Karpani, Deni Ross, Tiarah Minns, Jemma Bemrose (cc), Carola Kreis, Sarah Riordan, Layne Morgan, Carys Dallinger, Ivania Wong (cc), Shalom Sauaso, Faythe Manera, Caitlin Urwin, Lori Cramer Reserves: Cristo Taufua, Sky-Yvette Faimalie, Jiowana Sauto, Vineta Teutau, Bella Nasser, Nat Wright, Kahli Henwood, Teagan Levi
Saturday 8 March 5:05 pm AEDT – NSW Waratahs v Western Force at Allianz Stadium, Sydney on STAN Sport and NINE Network
A chastened Waratahs outfit will be ruing a pretty poor and disjointed performance last week out. They’re at home again as part of a twin SRW/SRP offering and must look to play tighter first, before unleashing their pace and skill out wide. The Force, well I’ve said before they’re developing an outstanding rugby program out west and are much improved on previous years and have recruited incredibly well. Especially with the likes of Ash Marsters now calling WA home.
Should be a good, abrasive and fast game this one.
Fearless Prediction: Tahs by 8 to make it two from two this Saturday.
WARATAHS (1-15): Siusiuosalafai Volkman, Britt Merlo, Bridie O’Gorman, Kaitlan Leaney, Annabelle Codey, Leilani Nathan, Emily Chancellor, Piper Duck (c), Tatum Bird, Arabella McKenzie, Desiree Miller, Katrina Barker, Georgina Friedrichs, Maya Stewart, Waiaria Ellis Replacements: Adiana Talakai, Emily Robinson, Falika Pohiva, Tahlia Morgan, Ruby Anderson, Tiarne Cavanagh, Nicole Nathan, Amelia Whitaker
FORCE (1-15): Allana Sikimeti, Hera-Barb Malcolm Heke, Braxton Walker, Sera Naiqama, Pia Tapsell, Tamika Jones, Anneka Stephens, Ashley Marsters, Georgia Cormick, Grace Freeman, Adi Vani Buleki, Trilleen Pomare (c), Cecilia Smith, Haylee Hifo, Sheree Hume Replacements: Loretta Mailangi, Hannah Palelei, Alapeta Ngauamo, Libya Teepa, Rosie Ebbage, Mio Yamanaka, Nicole Ledington, Ngamihi Monk
Development Game: ACT Brumbies v Penina Pasifika, Saturday, 1:05 pm (AEDT) at Field 3, University of Canberra
BRUMBIES (1-15): Martha Fua, Tania Naden, Keia Mae Sagapolu Sanele, Ashley Fernandez, Lily Bone, Siokapesi Palu (c), Edwina Munns-Cook, Piper Rankmore, Jay Huriwai, Tia Hinds, Ana Naisami, Harmony Ioane, Gabrielle Petersen, Charlie Brigstocke, Manua Moleka
Replacements: Ella Hopper, Lydia Kavoa, Hannah Stewart, Ana-lise Sio, Jess Grant, Ella Ryan, Merania Paraone, Siena Edwards, Tabua Tuinakauvadra, Kyah Little
6N: Penultimate Permutations.
The battle for rugby supremacy in the Northern Hemisphere is back this week. No doubt there’ll be twists and turns and the very real likelihood that the 2025 6N competition will roll into its last weekend ‘alive’ for the taking.
Ireland v France. Dublin. Sunday, 9 March 12.59am AEDT. On STAN
There’s no doubting the quality of the Irish sides of yore, but the current side isn’t that side and has been perhaps a tad lucky, more than deserving. That said, their 6N/Grand Slam destiny is in their hands this weekend against a French side that looks like it’s capable of generational greatness.
Expect bonus points to come into play in this game, as they could well determine this year’s final winner.
Fearless Prediction: France to blow this year’s 6N wide open and win by 25. No bonus point for Ireland.
Scotland v Wales. Edinburgh. Sunday, 9 March 3.34am AEDT. On STAN
Disappointing year for the Scots as they battle for mid-table mediocrity and that belies what a good side they should be.
A lot has been written about the Welsh with their last outing against Ireland much improved. I’d even go one step further, they should’ve won after copping a terrible TMO decision and ‘no try’ late in the game when all evidence pointed to the contrary. A win for Wales would be good for all rugby fans and hopefully the start of a journey back for that proud rugby nation. But will it, or can it happen this weekend?
Fearless Prediction: No it won’t. Wee canny Scots by 9 with the result having no impact on the 6N ladder.
England v Italy. Monday 10th March 150am AEDT. On STAN
At time of print only the Soap Dodgers had named their side for the penultimate 6N round this weekend. While all eyes will likely be on Dublin as Ireland look for a 6N win and possible Grand Slam when they host les Frogs, it shouldn’t be forgotten that Borthwick’s Battlers are still a mathematical chance of lifting the trophy as well, albeit a slim chance at that.
Fearless Prediction: England by 22 with the bonus point.
Should the above play out, the final week of 6N will be an absolute doozy with three teams playing for the title. We haven’t seen that in an age.
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
Second Class Citizens?
Not only are they shafted on the field, but it appears the treatment of the Drua is no better off field. The SMH has more and if true, it’s appalling.
Bula. How’re the ribs?
There’s been some big hits at Allianz over the years across many codes, but perhaps none bigger that that on Georgina Friedrichs last week. G-Fred was the recipient of a ‘Fijian hello’ during the match, and even a week later watching the impact still makes me wince. To her credit G-Fred got straight back up and performed to her usual high standards, but that wasn’t enough to deny Fijiana, who were outstanding.
Eight Second Special.
Both Yowie’s nickname as a young man and how long it took Fijiana to score their first try against the Tahs in the opening round of SRW. I know which 8 second experience left women more satisfied.
The North Remembers.
Some comments from Nick Phipps about cross competition status has made its way onto planetrugby.com. Phipps stated he didn’t believe the top five UK clubs would cope with the additional pace and ball in play times of SRP, and added that the corresponding SRP sides would shine if dropped up north.
It’s not for me to say he’s right. Even if he is.
Ferrari fixed under warranty.
Good news for Tahs and Wallabies fans with Chuckles McKellar telling media that his Ferrari, Joe Suaalii, will be back sooner rather than later, possibly as early as next week’s glorified opposed training run against the Reds in what’s left of Brisbane.
Some rumours circulated he was suffering ‘turf toe’, which can mean months out. Instead, the Ferrari has a plantar fascia problem, which is a blockage of the hose that leads to the injection manifold system and can cause swelling and some discomfort on acceleration.
This fan is excited to get the Ferrari back on track to assist the current fleet of Datsuns that Chuckles has salvaged out wide.
Until next week: Stay safe you Queenslanders and go the Tahs.
Hoss – out.
