G’day & welcome to yet another Friday, G&GRs.
What on this rotating bluey-green orb was that last weekend? Was it a rugby test or the Rennie Hill show? For sure as shite as I watched the coverage, I swear all I heard was this.
I’ve witnessed some god-awful calamities in my time. Wars, pestilence, natural disasters, Labor governments, ‘Celebrity Big Brother’ to name a few, but I ain’t never seen anything like the inane drivel masquerading as rugby trotted out by the Wallabies last week.
Today, let’s take a deep breath and look at the bigger picture with ‘Come Again?’. Run an eye over the squad for the test series against The Pope’s Lot with ‘Back to an Orange future’. Throw our support behind our Wallaroos ‘In gold we trust’. Hop over the dutch and look at a Kiwi coaching ‘crisis‘ with ‘Ut sims a wik und a wun miks a duffrence’ and finish it off with ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, recently secretly sworn in as minister for everything on G&GR.
COME AGAIN?
A throw away line in a SMH article earlier this week sent my blood cold. It was from Andy ‘Lex’ Marinos regarding Dave Rennie and stated:
‘RA would not enter into contract extension talks with coach Dave Rennie until after the spring tour this year’
‘Contract extension?’ Based on what exactly, being a good guy? Sure, he seems a terrific man and all round decent human being, but ain’t he also somewhat measured against results, growth, game plan, S&C successes, player development and the health of the code? And by ‘success’ I mean with a winning result currently sitting over 60% and tracking upwards with the ultimate goal being in the region north of 70%?
As a means of reference:
- Last two years we are 9 of 19 = 47% win rate
- Last twelve months we are 4 of 10 = 40%
- Under DR’s reign we are 40% overall
And all of this warrants ‘contract extension’ talks? So you only have to be successful at your core role 40% of the time to get your role renewed? Bugger me, where do you apply?
I absolutely get long term planning, succession plans, world cup cycles and the need to plan well in advance. It’s prudent, it’s smart, it’s warranted. BUT, haven’t us rugby fans & RA been here before? Was not this path trodden with one M Cheika in recent history? Were we all not left with the taste and splatter of excrement over our faces?
Am I being too harsh?
I’ve asked myself that very question. But look at the DR era, let’s not just focus on the current injuries, but instead a view from the helicopter of perspective, the last three years. Can any fan on here tell me the Wallabies are a stronger, more consistent side now after three years under DR?
Sure there has been COVID disruptions and the like, but have not all countries faced those as well? With 12 months to the RWC and our side equalling its lowest ever ranking of #7 in the world, it’s a rhetorical question really, but can anyone here place their hand on the heart and say we are a genuine chance of winning the 2023 RWC and not just QF cannon fodder?
If that answer is ‘no’, then shouldn’t RA be looking at the best option to lead the Wallabies post 2023 into a possibly financially lucrative future that involves:
- 2025 FUKIRs tour
- 2026 Victorian Commonwealth Games
- 2027 Men’s RWC
- 2029 Women’s RWC
- 2032 Olympics in the banjo capital of the universe
At the very minimum the financial success of hosting these massive events hinges on the halo product of RA, the Wallabies, being consistently successful and I reckon something like a 75% will be required to best leverage the financial promised lands ahead. So therefore should a 40% win-rate entitle the holder of such a mantle a seat at the table to discuss the future? Especially when the financial stakes and future health of the code are literally at stake?
Maybe winning the 23 RWC and being the World Champions leading into 2025 & beyond is the only thing that matters? Sure RA have ‘postponed’ contract extension talks, but the fact they are even considering them at this point for Rennie, based on three years and a 40% winning record, almost beggars belief.
Maybe RA have already shown their hand with Chuckles McKellar joining the coaching team next year on a full time basis. Maybe the succession/ascension plan is already staring us all in the face. Perhaps with the human headline Eddie ‘Dr Evil’ Jones as Director of Coaching as a mentor and to generate publicity. There’s the jingoistic ‘all Aussie’ theme that would resonate with some. With Chuckles in charge there’s also the familiarity of coach & player from his time inside planet Wallaby, especially with so many Brumbies & not enough Tahs in the squad. There’s all of that, but there’s also the stench of ‘group failure’ associated with it to. For sure as the sun doth rise, winning is a habit, but so too is losing and the Wallabies of the last three years and their coaches have a 60% losing habit.
For the record, I genuinely want Rennie & the Wallabies to succeed, I truly do. However, the clock is definitely against this lot as far as success in next year’s RWC is concerned. With RA’s ‘money train’ for 2025 onwards soon departing the station, future decisions need to be meticulous & ruthless. The code has a once in a lifetime opportunity to fill the coffers and place it in financial health to last a generation.
I would beseech RA to take time and investigate all coaching options, even those currently sitting home bored on NZ’s South Island, before entertaining any extension for Mr Rennie.
The future of the code demands as much.
BACK TO AN ORANGE FUTURE?
Do you remember all those trophies the Wallabies won between 2014 – 2019? The success we shared in, the titles, the silverware, the glory? Nope, me neither but apparently the success we crave now and in next year’s RWC can be found in the failings (2015 RWC final aside) of the 2014-2019 generation – duhhh!
The squad for the tests v The Catholics has been announced and it’s a blast from the past with Spanners Foley in the mix & Gilbert Beale reportedly being invited into camp next week for a ‘conditioning check’.
To be fair, since our ignominious exit at the QF stage of the 19 RWC, I have watched exactly 0.00 seconds of Mr Foley’s time in Nipponville and it’s only fair I judge him on tomorrow and not on the reasonable Beatles ditty of ‘Yesterday’. I read that he is physically and mentally refreshed and playing decent ball, so I wish him good luck and good fortune and besides who hasn’t come back from Japan a better player so far? That topic alone is deserving of an article in its own right. A supposed rugby minnow developing players better than a traditional rugby superpower? Nutta, maybe one for Chewsday?
One sizeable omission is that of JOC who has missed the squad of 35 completely and for a change, based on his form, or lack thereof, it’s hard to argue with his non-selection. JOC is understandably ‘devastated’ at the call and has been given some feedback from the coaching staff for ‘work-ons’ to force his way back in. Rennie gives some insight into JOC’s no-go on rugby.com.au
All that is well and good, but I would add that if selectors were consistent, then surely Tupou should have been omitted as well? Multiple missed tackles, numerous penalties conceded and completely toweled up by a novice prop 30kg slighter than he and he gets a free pass? To my eye, one gets dumped on form, while in the next breath the other retains their spot on ‘potential’. How does that work?
The squad sees the return of many injured cavalry including Kellaway (hamstring), Sio (arm), Bell (toe), Paisami, Folau & Porecki (all concussions) & Ala’alatoa (personal reasons). Captain Hoops is still out with ‘no date’ set for a return, if at all Hoops actually ever returns.
Having watched the Aussie A tests I can’t tell you how excited I am to see 21yo Tah, Langi Gleeson make the squad. While Sideshow Bob is far and away our best #8 and world class at that, Gleeson is a real prospect as a loosie and he is an excellent prospect for the future. What this all means for Dirty Harry Wilson is the $64 question.
More squad details courtesy rugby.com.au
IN GOLD WE TRUST
Saturday 20th August
Coverage on STAN from 4.30pm. Kickoff 5.05pm AEST.
Our Buildcorp Wallaroos take on the NZ Black Ferns this weekend for the Laurie O’Reilly Cup in Christchurch before heading to Adelaide for the return fixture on 27 August and as part of a ‘double-header’ with the Wallabies v Springboks fixture.
You may recall our girls lead the Black Ferns at half time in the recent Pacific Cup tournament, also featuring Canadia & The Seppos. In fact that 10-5 lead to the Wallaroos was the first time ever in the 20 game history of our girls v NZ’s female cheats, that the Aussies had taken a lead into the break.
With the women’s World Cup kicking off in October this year, confidence, combinations and a first up win over the Darkness would be a terrific platform to launch a tilt at global rugby supremacy.
Former G&GR legend, turned RA latte-loving, leather patch silvertail Nathan Williamson of rugby.com.au has team details & more.
Go you golden girls, make it count.
UT SIMS A WIK UND A WUN MIKS A DUFFRENCE
So it has comes to pass this week that Ian ‘Fozzie B Bear’ Foster has avoided the executioner’s axe and will remain the Nearlies coach until the 2023 RWC, where they will ultimately depart in the QFs (given they are slated to meet either France of Oirland who flog the Kiwis more regularly than ScoMo flogged Westminster conventions)
Been a roller coaster ride for UNZUDD rugby funns over the last year with the once mighty side dragging itself to a two from seven record, culminating in a bromance press conference this week with Fozzie and NZR suit-type people.
Despite the decision Kiwi fans still seem unimpressed with Fozzie B Bear, although letting Joe ‘Schmidt for brains’ have a great influence is smart ‘insurance’ just in case. However, from purely an Aussie’s perspective, we could still ‘win’ by at least starting a dialogue with Scott Robbo – you can’t tell me England haven’t already been on the phone to him this week!
If you think the decision to keep B Bear as head coach is a popular one in NZ, I’d invite you over to the pages of stuff.co.nz and take a wee peek. A poll of over 8,000 ‘readers’, or more aptly those Kiwis who have access to an Aussie friend to read it to them, have voted 86% to 14% against the move to keep Foster as coach. And this a poll result taken after the victory over the Dutch Dirt Farmers.
I said last week we should be careful what we wish for with Kiwi results, turmoil and coaches as it could blow up in our faces as Aussie fans come Bledisloe time. On that note I would encourage you all to get all your Kiwi jokes out before we face them in the RC, just in case.
Come on Yowie, you know you want to……………
FRIDAY’S GOSS WITH HOSS.
Hoops spotted in camp
Normally I don’t watch the ‘hilarious’ propaganda stuff of life inside camp Wallaby. I learnt many a year ago it’s cringe worth, nausea-inducing & infantile, not unlike Friday’s Rugby News. But when I got wind of a ‘bonus’ for all fans on a recent rugby.com.au youtube video with Falou Fainga’a mic’d up in a gym session, I gritted the teeth and watched. Low and behold, it briefly shows Michael Hooper back among the mix (1.35 minutes in). Although not part of the RC squad, just the presence of the inspirational skipper alone must surely lift the spirits of players and fans alike. It does for me.
Kiwis get cheesed off – literally.
stuff.co.nz reports an NPC game between Southland v Auckland was interrupted in the second half due to a fire alarm and an evacuation of the 3000-odd crowd while the fire brigade attended. The culprit? A burnt cheese roll in the Southland supporters clubrooms. The moment was not lost on the ground DJ who played Billy Joel’s ‘We didn’t start the fire’ during the stoppage. Gold.
WA stiffed again?
In great news for grassroots rugby, as long as your not in WA (let’s face it – what sane person would want to anyway) the Rugby Club Foundation has committed $500k to grassroots rugby. In a week of negative news this is a good news story, for the East Coast anyway. More from rugby.com.au
Whispers on the wind.
Whispers from those in the know that QC’s injury, while still requiring surgery, was not as bad as first feared and he may be back next year, earlier than otherwise expected. Michael Lynagh may be unimpressed though, as apparently he is also being considered for the ‘vacant’ #10 jersey as well.
Tah tough.
rugby.com.au reports that the Tahs welcome back a former academy player and Scottish U20 player, Tom Lambert on a 2 year deal. Good move from Gary Coleman and co as they will need to regulate the minutes of Angus ‘the Bull’ Bell going forward. Say what you want about Tupou, but Bell is the future of Australian propping stocks.
In from the side – AGAIN.
News out of NZ last night via stuff.co.nz that serial offender and rugby GOAT, Mr R McCaw, has been appointed director of New Zealand Rugby Commercial GP Limited, the NZR & PI partner ‘Silver Lake’ entity. The report goes on to say that all boardrooms are being retrofitted with side doors so Richie can continue to enter from the side, pictures of Nigel Owens for appropriate worship and a Haka will be performed before each meeting ‘Oh Silver Lake, Silver Lake, Money , Money’.
Seems about right.
Until next week – go the Wallaroos.
Hoss – out.
