Chewsday Chew

Morning Cobbers,

I hope today finds you peachy keen and deeply engaged in what’s important in life, rugby musings. So strap yourself in and let’s see how we go.

Waratahs ‘having a go’ – where’s that been?

The match between the ACT Brumbies and the NSW Waratahs on Saturday night was intriguing on many fronts. But the element I want to focus on here is regarding professionalism and, bluntly, where has that level of performance intensity and professionalism from the Waratahs been since the season started?

To get a few obvious statements out of the road, the Donkeys were guilty (in my opinion) of over confidence, and it damn near cost them the match. In no other aspect of the game was that more obvious than in lineouts. Overwhelmingly, predictable calling meant the Tahs were able to compete effectively with generally one but sometimes even two competing jumpers polluting their normal fresh air. This meant the Tahs were well aware of what the Donkeys were trying to do.

This was then compounded by Nos Lonergan consistently under-throwing. Now OK, Nos is a professional and no professional should be making an error like that for as long as he did. But his under-throwing wouldn’t’ve mattered to the extent it did if the calling had been smart and putting the catcher into clean air where Nos’ under-throwing of only a foot or so wouldn’t’ve been an issue.

To discuss that further, remember there are 8 controllable variables in catching a lineout: jumper, front lifter, back lifter, thrower, length of task, height of task, line of task and unit timing. And that’s all before we decide what we’re doing with the caught ball. I find lineouts both a remarkable coordination effort and a thing of real beauty in their own right. In fact there’s nothing else in world sport quite like a good lineout, except for a good scrum of course. But that very complexity means lineouts get unnecessarily and many times more difficult to execute if the call is too predictable and allows an opponent an opportunity to spoil what is already a delicate manoeuvre.

So let’s be clear on where the accountability in this lies. If you call lineouts early, smartly, with some variety and intelligence and then execute quickly, even if the opponent puts a competing jumper up your catcher should consistently be in clean air. That then allows sufficient margins for error in case of some comparatively minor shortcomings between lifters, unit timing and throw as they occur between so many moving parts.

Aside from the microcosm of lineouts, we saw some other very questionable actions/choices from the Donkeys that allowed the Tahs to stay in the match. Another perplexing item was the failure to push home the scrum advantage. With two Tahs tightheads already nibbling cheese on the sideline, continuing to force the scrum advantage was the screamingly obvious option for the Donkeys, but they didn’t. And I don’t get why they didn’t. Even if the Tahs had then called for uncontested scrums, the Tahs would still have had to drop another player (for going uncontested) and so gone down to 12 men. So why not ram it home?

That said, given Nic Berry seemed determined to not award a penalty try for scrum dominance or any other Tah indiscretion on their try line for that matter (looking straight at you Hoops), perhaps the Donkey leadership felt they were not going to get joy at scrums and so had to try a different avenue. That was, to my mind, poor decision making by the Donkeys (over-confidence? heat of the moment?) combined with two disallowed tries to allow the Tahs to stay in the game long past where they should have.

However, let’s not think that was all there was to it. The Tahs were not just the beneficiaries of poor Donkey choices and disallowed tries. The Tahs themselves surprised everyone (even themselves?) and played with real purpose: they genuinely ‘had a go’. The general play and physicality of their forwards was quite something; they manipulated the referee’s view of the game well, especially when they were dead-to-rights in-front of their try line. And the creativity and effectiveness of their backs was something of a revelation. All combined, they really pushed the Donkeys to the very edge of what would have been a famous victory for the Tahs in an otherwise forgettable season (to date anyway).

But it’s here that I’m perhaps most frustrated, in that far from congratulating the Tahs I have to ask the Waratahs with all sincerity “Where the hell has that been all year?” Seeing the Tahs charging about, pushing the Donkeys to their limits, playing some damn good and smart rugby (yes, begrudgingly I’ll say that out loud), showing guts and vigour in the fight, it struck me as a sight that was at the same time most enjoyable but also damn frustrating.

What sparked this surge, this effort? There was no magical talisman returning to the field from long-term lay-off. There was no single supremo on whom all things turned (as the performance continued after the guy with the most obvious golden touch, Lalakai Foketi, was replaced). Rather it just seemed the whole squad decided to finally ‘show up and have a go’.

Why was that? Where has that effort been? Did it really take nasty words from an opposing Donkey bureaucrat during the week to stir them up? Was Eddie Jones imminent selection of a national team what it took? Either way, if the answer lies in either of those two ideas that is a poor reflection on their professionalism across the whole Tahs organisation. Let’s not forget this is professional stuff, not amateur stuff where a rousing pre-game rev-up may get the one off big lift required. This is what they ‘do’; this is their job. In those realms, consistency and reliability is the very marker of professionalism.

For me, I liked seeing the Tahs show up and play; it made the Donkey victory sweeter. But, my smart-arsery aside, it’s good for Australian rugby when the Tahs fire. But I really do have to ask the New South Welshmen two questions in a point-blank manner: firstly, where has that been all year and secondly, is that it or is there more?

But whatever it was Waratahs, do it again. Then do it again. Be professional. I dare you.

Nutta’s Super XXIII

Here we are again and the rules to selection remain nice and simple:

1. Selection is for one week only and based on last game only. There are no cumulative results. Reputation means nothing. Each week is a clean slate.
2. If you played for an Aussie Super team last week, then you can be selected. You can be Wobbly eligible or not, as that isn’t really relevant.

As ever, I’m open to healthy discourse on who made the cut (or didn’t) and where I differ from EJ.

Nutta’s Aussie Super XXIII from Round 5 2023:

1. James Slipper – Played with maturity, surety, clarity and scored a double pie to boot.
2. Alex Mafi – Played a solid meat & potatoes game (with a pie) in a losing side. A mark of character.
3. Allan Alaalatoa – Just dominated stuff around the ground.
4. Jeremy Williams – Some really smart play and a meat pie earnt a jersey.
5. Jed Holloway – Continues to impress.
6. Rob Valetini – Owns collisions. In the modern pattern of play, that’s enough said.
7. Pete Samu – Continues to be all class.
8. Harry Wilson – Three clean breaks and makes rain, he couldn’t’ve done more.
9. Ryan Lonergan – Well deserved Wobb squad selection
10. Carter Gordon – Well deserved Wobb squad selection
11. Corey Toole – As expected, he didn’t make the Wobb squad and I can’t understand why.
12. Lalakai Foketi – New born baby, birthday, massive game, Wobb squad, a week to remember.
13. Len Ikitau – Sticky remains the pick of Aussie 13s for mine.
14. Andy Muirhead – Worked really hard, especially off the ball.
15. Jordan Petaia – Had a solid game and reminded a few of his talent.
16. Dave Porecki – In a well beaten front row, he kept toiling. A mark of character.
17. Matt Gibbon – Continues to impress all over the park, deserved Wobb-Squad call up.
18. Pone Fa’amausili – The guys physicality is difficult to ignore and a pie got him a jersey.
19. Ned Hanigan – For the 2nd week in a row he put in a really solid shift.
20. Tim Anstee – Put in a massive shift I thought.
21. Tate McDermott – Still can be frustratingly inconsistent, but his running was great.
22. Ben Donaldson – Really stood up and created opportunities, but still a bit frail defensively.
23. Andrew Kellaway – Had immediate impact in a beaten team that needed a lift, class return.

Player of the Round 

For me, this week I was a little torn between two worthy applicants.

On one hand it’s bloody hard to go past 38 year old Juan ‘Brok’ Harris, who played loosehead prop for the Stormers in their Champions Cup victory over Harlequins in Cape Town on Saturday. He put in a solid match, if a little anonymously, like a typical frontie. But then, later that same day, feeling a little bored (as you do) he came off the bench for Western Province at tighthead for the last spell in their loss to the Griquas in Currie Cup.

Now to be fair, two matches in a day for a frontie is hardly noteworthy and nor is swapping sides from loose to tighthead these days. I played two matches and swapped sides on Saturday as well; 4th grade loosehead and 2nd grade tighthead. And mine were full games from the opening whistle. But Heineken Cup and Currie Cup is a bit more intense and a damned long way from the middle grades of Sydney subbies! So it’s “Gesondheid!” to Brok on a lekker day’s work (is that the right way to say it?).

However, ultimately my nod went to the Glasgow Warriors Liverpudlian hooker, Johnny Matthews. The Scottish qualified 30yr old dynamo scored a club record 5 tries – yes five tries – in the 73-33 Warriors win over the Newport Dragons in the last 16 of the EPCR Challenge Cup played over the weekend. And apparently this isn’t Johnny’s first 5 try haul either: he (allegedly) scored five tries in a game for the much-vaunted Sedgley Tigers against Luctonians in England’s National League Two North back in October 2016 (get that research up ya, Gordon Bray!); he has form for landing big bags. It should be noted that 4 of the 5 tries on the weekend were from being the bunny on the back of driving lineout mauls, but nonetheless, 5 tries in a day is a pretty bloody impressive day out regardless of your jersey or role.

So a big shout out, a bottle of Scotland’s finest Buckfast ‘tonic’ wine and a Morgans with Irn Bru for Johnny Matthews.

Anyway, that’s enough to chew on for a Tuesday morning. Am I right? Am I wrong? Is the Drua home crowd the best thing since the Viking clap (steady on Yowie)? Is the real threat to modern democracy the underground cabal of the Global Front Row (GFR)? Let me know your thoughts below.