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Author: Ask Bakkies
Dear Bakkies, I’m the CEO of a certain Australian super 14 franchise and I’ve got to say I’m OUTRAGED. These Bully boys at the top of the ladder have performed one of the most invidious acts ever witnessed in a sporting arena – resting their players. The implications of this action may well have repercussions the rugby world over, or to be more accurate, to my organisation’s bank account. It is therefore no doubt an illegal and unsporting act that must be railed against.
Dear Bakkies, I’m an Irish rugby player recently involved in a nasty incident that took place in an international test match that you might be aware of. Within the first minute of the game, one of your team mates stuck his fingers so far into my eyes that they took his reverse finger prints off the back of my skull after the game!
Dear Bakkies, What a month I’ve had! I’m the CEO of the national organisation for a certain football code on the east coast of Australia, and the media have created a number of mountains out of molehills recently. You’d think none of these journos had never had group sex in front of their furiously masturbating mates while taking coke and racially abusing people. I mean c’mon, who hasn’t? But this isn’t what I’m writing about.
Dear Bakkies, I’m a rugby television producer in the Auckland office of a global satellite network. One of my key responsibilities is the commentator ‘talent’. And that’s my problem. Sure, TJ and Nisbo aren’t exactly rocket scientists, but at least their stupidity isn’t to such a level that it’s caused international incidents. Our problem is Murray Fucking Mexted. What started out years ago as a favour to keep an ex All-Black out of special needs care, has wound up as one of the biggest albatrosses in broadcasting history. We tried to sack him and the RSPCA put in a complaint…
Welcome to our new regular feature where our guest agony aunt Bakkies “Baby Eater” Botha will apply his considerable life coaching and conflict resolution skills to solving your problems. Today’s letter to Bakkies comes from Brisbane. Dear Bakkies, I’m a rugby coach who had a great run with an under 19 side some years ago but things have turned pretty sour since then.At the moment I find myself in charge of a the remnants of a team that has fallen apart – quite literally.
Welcome to our new regular feature where our guest agony aunt Bakkies “Baby Eater” Botha will apply his considerable life coaching and conflict resolution skills to solving your problems. Our first letter to Bakkies comes from New Zealand. Dear Bakkies, I am a very well known and dashingly good looking international referee who has been tragically dealt some unfair blows recently. Like any kiwi man, woman or child, I enjoy a drink or two because, let’s face it, there’s fuck all else to do over here. This was part of my flamboyant persona over the years, as I…