For the last time in 2024, greetings one and greetings all. Welcome to Friday’s Rugby News, or what’s left of it after Allyoz went full Putin and invaded all yesterday’s late breaking rugby news. Today we kick off the Friday farewell with ‘Fat Boy Fanfare‘. Look at free money, except for all the strings attached, in ‘Tell him he’s dreamin’!’. Crank up a final Friday tradition for ‘The Wallabies night before Christmas’. And we bid 2024 adieu with ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, now in talks with Dutto about putting a nuke at the Ponderosa.
Fat Boy Fanfare.
I like a player that can get through 80 minutes but still looks like he has a pie or six on the weekend. And the Wallabies own Fat Boy Slim, Fraser McReight, is that guy. Robust, but with a hint of a love handle or two.
And so it’s come to pass that Fat Boy Fraser has been crowned the male PotY by RUPA. And who can blame them? There’s no doubt Australia has been blessed with some bloody brilliant #7s over the past 20 years. Players like Michael Hooper and others (whose names escape me) have always done the fabled gold #7 jersey proud. And it’d seem we are in more than capable hands for the foreseeable future with this young man. His tackling, support play, link work, jackalling, actually his whole bloody game has gone to the next level this year and it’s a delight to watch. Doesn’t hurt that he seems a cracking young man as well.
Not to be outdone, Atasi Lafai was named Wallaroos player of the year at the same function. Having watched all of the Wallaroos games this year, Lafai showed time and again she has the engine, aggression, skill and game smarts to be a long term Wallaroo. Abrasive with and without the ball, Lafai added something the Wallaroos have needed for a while, an enforcer.
In other awards Maddison Levi made it a clean sweep of awards when she picked up women’s 7s POTY. Nick Malouf won the men’s 7s award. While near forgotten Charlie Cale won the Newcomer of the Year award.
Congratulations to all RUPA award winners from all of us on G&GR.
Tell him he’s dreamin’!
When you lie down with dogs, you ‘re likely to get humped fleas. And it seems the money dogs, in this instance some crew called Ackerley Sports Group (ASG), are trying to hump the bejesus outta the legs of SARU. As always with Yanks, the devil’s in the detail.
On face value an offer of $75 million USD ($1.3bn rand) from ASG in return for 20% stake in the commercial rights company is worth some due diligence and serious discussion. BUT, said due diligence reveals a 15% commission, or $11.25m USD (a shitload of rand), payable to Eddie Jordan of F1 motoring fame for brokering the deal in the first place. That’s gone down about as well as urinating on a braai during the cooking.
With 7 of the 13 SA provinces already voicing their dissatisfaction with the offer as it currently stands, the deal would appear dead in the water. Especially given it requires 10 of 13 provincial votes to pass in the first place. planetrugby.com has more.
The Wallabies night before Christmas.
It was the night before Christmas and all through the squad
Not a player was stirring, as Joe was considered their god.
The memories of Eddie, of the hell and disruption
Had now been replaced by consistent performance and real gumption.
The players were nestled, all snug in their beds.
With visions of Lions glory variously dancing in their heads.
Although one or two stirred, a touch restless with their slumber
Perhaps bothered by night visions of their season and personal blunders.
Joe noticed big Nella turning and thrashing a fair bit
And thought, ‘must be reliving that last pass in Dublin, as it was pure shit’.
Young Tate McDermott too was agitated, as he frowned and muttered in his sleep
When Joe’s soothing tones eased him with ‘next time pass it, Tate, don’t kick’.
Big Sideshow Bob was not one to stir, as he was shagged and slept like the dead.
His efforts herculean, Joe gently smiled and kissed his forehead.
Tom Wright was tucked in, strangely wearing his favourite Brumby onesie,
Joe celebrated the changes and thought ‘finally, not clumsy’.
RA’s latest signing, Josef was cradled, fast asleep in a manger.
‘Gotta stop those shoulder charges young Joey, or you’re in real danger’
Fraser McReight was another to sleep well, although rolled over with a sigh,
Then Joe found under his bed 6 burger wrappers, pizza crumbs and 5 pies.
He continued his checks and wasn’t surprised to hear Nic White talking gibberish in his sleep,
Sounded a lot like screaming at refs and questioning Kiwis about sheep?
The next bunk along was Jimmy Slips, ‘Big Sexy’ himself
With skin care products, hair gel and a mirror neatly stacked on his shelf
His checks now complete, the season now done.
The improvements he sought in matches hard won
So he retreated to his quarters, settling back in his chair.
Content, but not happy, but no longer filled with despair.
A plan was emerging, pieces falling into place
It seemed rugby in Oz had had just about saved face.
Joe sipped a whisky, his thoughts drifting away
But he sensed fans in Australia had a few things to say:
‘Thanks for the efforts, with you Joe the Wallabies have grown
Oh and by the way, up yours and stuff you, Mr Eddie Jones’.
As I sit at The Ponderosa, enjoying the sights
It’s Merry Christmas from me and to all, a 2024 goodbye.
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
Crystal Ball.
Interesting read on WWOS on who will finish 2-4th of the Australian sides next year.
Who’s next up?
Succession planning sucks, don’t it? But, in the awful event that St Joe does go who, besides front runner Michael Cheika, might be next up? Almost by stealth, we have some cracking coaches in Oz at present, Chuckles McKellar, Bernie Larkham, Wendy Matthews at the QPRQ, and Mike Cron’s relative over west somewhere. Not to mention we have Andy Friend back in Oz, too.
For me, I reckon we beat the FUKIRs and Joe scarpers; we lose and he stays to ‘right the wrong’ and win a home World Cup! Joe has promised RA a decision this month.
How many knock ons do you need to make one knock on?
Let’s be honest, Oirland deserved to win. 118% possession and 3.5 hours in our 22 over the course of the match tells the tale of the tape. But still, when you lose by only three and there are three blatant knock ons by the one player, in the one movement, well that kind of sticks in your throat a bit. Especially when there was no TMO intervention.
I accept the ink is dry and it was still a terrific performance by those in gold. Besides, with their hands on the ball that much Ireland should have won by plenty. That, or apply for a job at 2GB (allegedly).
French hate Americans too!
The FFR has given the NZR a big le up yours, scuttling a suggestion to take the third test of their July 2025 NZ tour stateside. The Minstrels had been keen to go back to San Diego and challenge Damien McKenzie to catch the team bus this time, but les blues said ‘nein’. stuff.co.nz has more.
Happy Festivus.
That’s another rugby year done on G&GR, and sometimes ‘thank you’ doesn’t seem quiet enough. To the writing team who give of their time so freely I say this, you’re a brilliant crew. To our main writers, Bris, RAWF, Yowser, KARL, Happy and Nutta, I have nothing but admiration and the deepest gratitude for your commitment to G&GR, your hard work, insights, humour, intellect, humanity and friendship.
To our podcast purveyors at The Dropped Kickoff, Nick W, Nick H and some other guy, likewise. Each week you give of your time and efforts and produce quality work and we are the eternally grateful for your contributions.
To Sully, Happy and KARL for your weekly efforts and growing success with the G&GR Podcast. To The Rugby Report Card team who may have left these pages, you aren’t forgotten and shared a podcast with us this year. To Eloise for the always insightful, intelligent and articulate offerings both front, and back, of house where it’s often a raucous, juvenile playground (you know who you are Yowie). To KB, Damo, Allyoz who’ve all contributed this year, my sincere thanks. I’d also like to pay hommage/hommidge/homage to our resident grammar Nazi, Lindommer. The polished prose you see out front doesn’t necessarily start its life as such, but our word wizard whips it into shape with aplomb.
I’d also like to single out our IT guru, Heidi, for his tireless contribution to G&GR. To that end G&GR will have a new look and feel when we return in 2025. Better response times, easier to engage with and all for only $12.99/month subscription fee. Thanks Heidi.
Lastly, thank you to all of our loyal followers who engage with Green & Gold Rugby. The site has grown 79% on 2023 numbers, and that was a World Cup year no less. Whether you comment or lurk in the digital shadows, listen to our podcasts, follow us on social media or participate in the forum discussions, our site wouldn’t be what it is without your support of rugby union on our platform. Our sincere thanks.
That’s a wrap from me. Enjoy the holiday season and spare a thought for those who may be doing it a bit tough. Perhaps the greatest gift you could bestow on others this year is that they aren’t forgotten, that you care enough to reach out and say ‘G’day’. It is the season for giving after all.
From all of us Cartwrights, be safe, be merry and be kind. See you in 2025. The year of the Tah (Google it – it’s actually a real thing)
Hoss – out.
