The Worst of the S14 in 2010 (Aussie-centric)

Yesterday we had the highs, today we look at the lows. Ten of my most meaniful failings for the season 2010 from an Aussie rugby perspective. As for the Best Ten list, our first point of call should be fairly obvious:

1)      Real Madrid Disappointments. When I wrote the preview for the Brumbies season I drank the Kool-Aid. I couldn’t see them not making the finals and I thought the championship was theirs to lose. Well, the lost it. Sure there were glimmers of good. Pat McCabe had a great rookie year. Ben Alexander finished near the top of the try scorer’s list and Adam Ashley-Cooper remains one Australia’s premier backs. But in the end, a lot of the big name players just didn’t come together and make it happen. Gits, Moore, Harrison, Rocky, Chisholm, Smith, Morty. They all had moments, but as a unit, it just wasn’t there.

2)      Marquis de Suck. Ok, I know it is spelt Marquee but even that doesn’t make sense when you talk about Soseni Anesi and Hendrick Roodt. Wise New Zealanders warned against any sort of reliance on Anesi and we should have listened. He was terrible offering absolutely nothing whilst Hickey gave him way too many opportunities. He’s the exact reason Aussie rugby fans are against ‘marquee’ signings as they hinder the development of the young local player. Just ask Kurtley Beale. As for Hendrick, the big South African lock, well he was largely unsighted all season and picked up perhaps the best nick name of recent times. Dud. As in Dud Roodt. Geddit?

3)      So long King George. I still can’t understand why he’s leaving. When word came through the wire that George Smith was retiring at the end of the Super 14 two things went through my mind. First of all was ‘well he’s been amazingly loyal and deserves to go overseas and earn some real money, plus we have Pocock to step into his jersey now, so everything will be fine’. The second thing was ‘nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!’ How can there be life after George? He’s just one of those iconic players for the Wallabies and Brumbies.  It’ll be a like a death in the family. Life will go on as normal. We’ll keep waking up and going about our normal day, but every now and again we’ll just get hit by a distant pang of sadness and loss. For me he’s up with Horan, Eales and Campo as Wallabies I spent most of my time watching and just shaking my head in amazement.

4)      Forced out. How bloody ridiculous were the injuries at the Force this year? If I’m not mistaken they used 37 players this season as they struggled to keep up with an almost unbelievable injury toll. You gotta say it all started with their own little marquee failure in Andre Pretorius who was out for the season before the season even started. Then you have a look at a player like Jono Jenkins, a player brought into the Force from completely out of the training system to help cover injuries, only to get injured himself (and ruled out for the season) in his debut. If it wasn’t for the brilliant work of Matty Hodgson in playing every back row position exceptionally, then the Force season would have been a lot lot worse (worse than second last?)

5)      Sanchez’s second. I think we can all agree that Will Genia is pretty much the first player picked in the test 22. I’ll you who the 22^nd player picked is. Whomever is the backup scrumhalf.  In fact now that Genia is likely to miss a test or two, the question of just who is our next best becomes more significant. Burgess is probably next in line, and has looked test class at times this year. But he’s also looked park footy class, what with his meerkatting and crab running. Valentine is doing a job in Canberra. If his job is being a petulant twat. Sheehan remains the angriest man in Australian rugby whilst his back up for the Force Justin Turner caught many an idea with cameos off the bench. Then caught many an eye with a shocker when he started. Kingi, a wallaby tourist, ended the season playing wing for the Reds and is currently playing in the centres for his club. And just remember. Sam Cordingly will be back for the Rebels in 2011!

6)      In defence of Quade. How good was Quade Cooper for the Reds this year? Bloody good. That’s the answer. Ball in hand at least. He made the most line breaks, most off-loads and most run metres of all the Aussie players this season. What he didn’t make, was enough tackles as he also topped the missed tackle list with 25. Matty Hodgson missed 21 tackles, but he made 183! Quade made 69. He made some rippers too, a lot in cover defence. But he was soft on many occasions. I don’t blame him for missing Cliffy Palu in the last minute of the first game, but there were other times when a little more application could have come in handy. If he’s to have any chance of making it in international season it’s a factor he’ll (and his coaches) will have to attack head on. Because how awesome would it be to see some of the magic he pulled out this year, in a Wallaby jersey, with every confidence in him to stop tries as well as make them.

7)      Lock down. Whilst I talked up the emergence of some boom locks I know need to bemoan the decline of two lock options. Mitchell Chapman left the Reds to play for the Brumbies way back in 2007 to push his Wallaby cause. I know he’s a back rower, but he’s playing lock now and I think played his best footy at lock for the Reds too. But he’s just not an option now. His physical presence is minimal and he runs the risk of having a career that just doesn’t go anywhere when he has shown the potential to be a Matt Cockbain-like Wallaby. Will Caldwell, on the other hand, has had to battle illness and faced his own setbacks. Many were spouting the name of Caldwell as the answer to our Wallaby lock options and based on previous years’ form, it was a legitimate call. This season though he’s fallen so far off the pace it’s almost sad.

8)      Crouch, touch, pause, engage, and repeat. Now, I’m a prop and I love scrumming. I love the actual physical intensity of it. Being in there, taking the hit, reading your opponent and trying to adjust your position to either counter or attack him. I love the challenge of being rock solid on your scrum and then just trying to mess things up when it’s their feed. I know how challenging it is to keep these 16 meat-heads in-line for what is effectively just a re-start of play option. But blimey, if watching scrum re-set after scrum re-set is not the most frustrating thing on tv since Big Brother, than I don’t know what is. I equate scrums to schoolies and the ref to the parent. The last thing a kid wants on his end of school rite of passage is his mum or dad standing at the end of the bar telling him what not to drink and who not to talk to. Even worse to have them curled up in the corner of your bedroom.

No, what the ref needs to do is to get his scrum together pregame and give them the lecture. “Now. I just want to let you know that I trust you. I know there will be times out there that you will be tempted and I know you’re going to try things. That’s what this time of your life is all about. I just want you to be safe. Don’t do anything too reckless, because that’s going to ruin it for everyone.” He should them give them all a kiss on the cheek and not say anything to them again until they come home at the end of the game at which time he can cook them a nice home meal and tell them how proud he is of them all. Simple.

9)      So long Stirlo. I was always of the belief that this would be Stirling Mortlock’s last season for the Brumbies. What I didn’t count on was that he would sign for the Melbourne Rebels and play on in the Super competition. The sad thing for Stirlo is that he never really got to have his farewell from the Brumbies. Sure he was there with George for their last home game. But he was wearing a suit and looked slightly uncomfortable. We didn’t get to see him charging into his opposite number, ball in hand, to give this Brumby team some direction and purpose. We didn’t get to see him shutting down an opposition movement with a big tackle. It just seemed wrong for this gladiator from our nation’s capital to kind of just tip toe out of town whilst everyone was cheering for George.

10)   Cam-marooned. Cameron Shepherd, in form, is one of the best backs in Australia. Fit and playing well, he’s our Wallaby fullback. End of story. He’d kick our goals. He’d be safe at the back. He’d provide go forward, a big kicking game, make his tackles, produce some magic, kick goals. He’d do the lot. If fit.

And that’s the problem. He is rarely fit. It took until Round 9 for us to see him this year, and then he scored two tries. He battled injuries since then, missing another game, and genuinely looking off the pace. The rumours are he doesn’t play fullback because the high involvement is just too much for his injuries. If it’s true, it’s a damn shame because he could have been our next great Wallaby fullback. As it is? Who knows? But I bet the physios in Perth hope he re-signs with the Force for another couple of years.