And the November International Test Window just keeps giving. As Big Daryl Eastlake used to say “By gee, by jingo, by crikey. We have rugby coming out of our arseholes! We have five games to look at this morning. So let’s have a little bo-peep at the games that’ve finished prior to writing Monday’s news. * Note this news is published at 0100 on Monday morning, so it won’t include the Scotland v Wallabies and the England v Japan games. So strap in, grab a big cup of that vital elixir ☕, and let’s do it.
France 37 defeated Argentina 23
The Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys cruised to a gentle 37-23 victory over a really poorly disciplined FISMs side on Brass Monkeys night in Paris for their final game of the Autumn Test internationals on Saturday morning Oz time. Les Frog slammed down four tries to ice the victory, in a game the Argies will surely want to forget.
The FISMs had two players served up a slice of 🧀 in the first tranche of the game, Julian Montoya and Juan Martin Gonzalez. This 💩 discipline enabled the Frogs to pull out to a 30-9 lead at oranges. France coach and eyewear style master Fabien Galthie had rung in four changes from the NZ game and started flooding some of his broader squad.
The Argentina captain, Montoya, was pinged for a stupid and dangerous clean at a ruck and the hooker was shown the 🧀. Galthie’s side made hay whilst the sun certainly ‘wasn’t‘ shining, to open the scoring as Antoine Dupont offloaded to Froggy giant Thibaud Flament to crash over from short range. Flyhalf Thomas Ramos slotted the conversion to take the 🐸 to a 7-0 lead after 11 minutes. By the30 30-minute mark, the French were up 13-9 as Ramos went penalty goal for penalty goal with Pumas fly-half Tomas Albornoz. The French then pulled away to a 20-9 lead as winger Gabin Villiere dived over for a nice meat pie and Ramos added the conversion.
Things got worse and worse for Contepomi’s FISMs as they then handed over a penalty try with four minutes left in the first half and then had a second player sent to the bin. France went to oranges up 30-9 ahead as Ramos slotted his third penalty of the game. With 24 minutes to play the Argies were rewarded as human nugget Thomas Gallo scored through a rolling maul and Albornoz iced the conversion to bring the score to 30-16.
The FISMs hopes of pulling a miracle out of their backsides were shortlived as Bielle-Biarrey scored a peach of a try, showing real gas to reclaim his own grubber kick. Ramos converted yet another to make it 37-16. The deficit was cut once again as Ignacio Ruiz crossed the line. Albornoz took the score to 37-23 with the conversion, with less than 10 minutes to play. However it wasn’t enough, with the cards and complete lack of discipline at times, killings Los Pumas chance of sticking it tot he froggies.
Ireland 52 defeated Fiji 17
The Flying Fijians got spanked by Ireland 52 -17 in Ireland Sunday morning Oz time. The Paddies dotted down eight tries to the Fijians two. Irish captain Caelan Doris opened the scoring with the first try of the match to take the Oirish to a 7-0 lead. The Fijians fought hard to level the score, but Jiuta Wainiqolo’s try was disallowed pulling up just short of the line. Scottish Flanker Josh van der Flier, Craig Casey, and Mack Hansen all scored a try each in the opening stanza to put Ireland in a 28-3 lead at oranges. But Fiji managed to get some points from a penalty by Caleb Muntz, and their first try was scored by Kitione Salawa in the 54th minute.
The Oirish continued to dominate the second half as they did the first, with some pretty favourable hometown decisions from the Scottish referee Hollie Davidson. They managed to score four tries from Bundee Aki, Gus McCarthy, Ronan Kelleher, and Aussie Mac Hansen. Phenomenal 18-year-old Setareki Turagacoke scored Fiji’s second try. But it was two servings of 🧀 that really hurt Fiji. With Eroni Mawi and Turagacoke received a yellow card each.
Maybe it is just me but I watch these games and I am pretty sure that Fiji are held to a different set of rules to their Northern Hemisphere counterparts. There were a lot of calls that just didn’t go the Fijian way. What are your thoughts G&GRs?
South Africa 45 defeated Wales 12
World champions South Africa have achieved their first undefeated rugby tour of Europe in 11 years and dealt Wales a record-extending 12th straight loss as expected. The Springboks started as 30-point favourites and exceeded that in winning 45-12 in Cardiff on Saturday, but their score was not as high as feared by Welsh fans.
A Wales team with far less experience, size, power and X-factor restricted the Springboks to seven tries by making 215 tackles, even though they missed 46. Wales also showed character to keep fighting and end both halves with tries that prevented South Africa from collecting the biggest win by margin against Wales in Cardiff. Even so, Wales finished a calendar year without a win for the first time since 1937, when they played only three games.
Embattled coach Warren Gatland said he won’t resign. He’s been adamant about wanting to get the team back to winning, which it hasn’t done for 13 months. “I personally needed to see a shift today from that group of players,” Gatland said. “Our boys tried really hard. That’s what I was looking for against an absolute quality team. That score could have completely blown out and players stopped trying but they kept working for the entire 80 minutes.”
Gatland had support from Springboks captain Siya Kolisi. “You gotta be realistic about things,” Kolisi said. “As long as they keep working hard and keep on believing that things will change … next year they will be a little more experienced, and they can give a bit more. This is a proud rugby nation, just like South Africa, and we have so much respect for the Welsh team. That’s why we had our best team on the field and gave everything.”
South Africa bookended a sensational post-World Cup year with wins over Wales – 41-13 in June at Twickenham – 11 wins overall in 13 Tests, the two losses by one point each. They also won in Scotland and England this month. The Springboks started on a tear. Locks Franco Mostert and Eben Etzebeth – who have 207 caps compared to the entire Wales XV’s 214 – galloped over in the first eight minutes.
When wing Kurt-Lee Arendse crossed after big passes from fellow backs Jordan Hendrikse and Aphelele Fassi, the Springboks were 19-0 after 19 minutes. The Boks then sputtered. Fassi was held up over the line and a Kolisi try was chalked off from a knock-on in the buildup. Etzebeth limped off, only to be replaced by the equally massive RG Snyman. The visitors got back on track when they shoved back Wales’ scrum and forced off tighthead Archie Griffin. Flanker Elrigh Louw then finished Jasper Wiese’s tap and go.
With four minutes to go, Wales finally got into the Boks 22. The Boks appeared to hold out three consecutive attacking lineouts but the ball found wing Rio Dyer who glided between two defenders to score in the right corner. The game meandered as both sides cleared their benches. Then tries followed for Fassi from an Arendse break; Gerhard Steenekamp got his first in Test rugby; and Hendrikse, starting with his brother Jaden for the first time, scored after offloads by replacements Handre Pollard and Cobus Reinach. But right at the death again, Wales flanker James Botham plunged over to cap a standout effort beside Jac Morgan and captain Dewi Lake.
New Zealand 29 defeated Italy 11
If you haven’t done so, make sure you read Yowie’s hilarious write-up here.
The Sheep Lovers have seen off an average Italian side 29-11 on Sunday morning Aus time, in their final match of the year to give Sam Cane and perennial gob-shite TJ ‘I can yap with the best of them’ Perenara a winning farewell to international rugby in Turin. Scrumhalf Cam Roigard, Will Jordan, Mark Tele’a, and Beauden Barrett (the talented one of the Barrett Brothers) scored the tries as the Nearlies flogged Italy for the 18th time in a row, with fly-half Barrett kicking the rest of the Kiwi’s points.
Tommaso Menoncello nailed Italy’s only try, with flyhalf Paolo Garbisi kicking six penalty points to round out Italy’s scoring. Italy led early in the game through Garbisi’s well-slotted two penalties, but the Pizza Lovers never managed to get back into the game despite serial offender (the least talented of the Barrett brothers) Scott Barrett’s yellow card at the 20-minute mark.
The Kiwis looked sloppy at best, and going through the motions at worst. Beauden Barrett will probably be the only AB that doesn’t get torn a new ass in Razors game review. Razor was visibly angry at times in the coaching box, and I am pretty sure a number of the players will get eviscerated in the post-season review.
Anyway, G&GRs, enough of this old man gibbering shite. Over to you! Have at it.
