G’day G&GRs. Another weekend of Rugby everywhere. Some Magical games to end the Northern Tour. But one game stands alone as a sheer spectacle. South Africa V Ireland at Aviva had more cards than a Poker tournament. So let’s jump into the games one by one (noting that there are still more games to be played, which I won’t cover, but will leave to RAWF). So line up multiple espressos ☕, ride the caffeine wave, and let’s talk ruggers!
South Africa 24 defeated Ireland 13
Springboks Too Strong as the Card Shark Bites Plucky Ireland – Well, G&GR faithful, strap yourselves in and pour yourself a stiff one, because this Dublin dust-up had more cards than the Star Casino on Chinese High Rollers Night. The Springboks rolled into Aviva Stadium with a point to prove, a pack to unleash, and a backline that moves like a drunk barfly on roller skates — unpredictable, dangerous, and somehow effective. The Dirty, Filthy, Drunken Oirish (who will henceforth be referred to as the Irish), bless ’em, turned up keen as mustard… but apparently also turned up on the wrong side of the law. By the half-hour mark, they were down to 12 men — twelve! — which is one less than a Jail Ball team, and not nearly enough to stop the Bokke steamroller when it gets humming.
Boks Come Out Swinging – The world champs wasted no time asserting dominance, carving Ireland open on their very first foray with a slick combo of muscle up the guts and hands that would make a surgeon jealous. Damian Willemse finished it off in the corner with a one-handed put-down that screamed, “Yep, we’re on.” Then came James Ryan’s yellow, upgraded like a dodgy Jetstar fare to a 20-minute red, and suddenly the Irish defensive structure looked like a Jackson Pollock painting. Cobus Reinach sniped over soon after, the Boks riding momentum like a surfer catching the perfect break.
And then began Ireland’s Nine Minutes of Pain:
– Sam Prendergast: see ya
– Jack Crowley: join him
– Andrew Porter: get comfy, mate
Three yellow cards in nine minutes. At this point, even the TMO needed a lie down. Somehow, miraculously, Ireland scored through Dan Sheehan — because of course the one bloke still on the field who knows where the try line is had to do something. But the Boks marched right back, forcing a penalty try to take a comfy 19-7 lead into halftime.
Second Half: Steady as She Goes – To their credit, the Irish came out swinging after oranges. Prendergast knocked over a long penalty, trimming the deficit. But with the legs tired and the benches emptying, South Africa simply went to their happy place: scrum dominance and condensed chaos. Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu darted through for what looked more like a sevens try than anything you’d expect against a Tier 1 nation… but then again, Ireland were still plugging gaps wider than the M50 at peak hour.
Even once Ireland finally got back to 15, Paddy McCarthy donated yet another yellow to the cause as the Springbok scrum applied the sort of pressure usually reserved for debt collectors. Credit where due: the Irish nearly manufactured a late comeback, hammering the Bok line with everything short of the kitchen sink. But effort without discipline is just CrossFit, and the Boks shut it down to claim a clinical 24-13 win — and keep their northern tour looking sharp.
Three Things Learned
- Ireland’s Discipline Self-Destruct Button Is Fully Operational – Four cards before halftime — including a 20-minute red — is the rugby equivalent of turning up to a gunfight with a pool noodle. Ireland’s system and heart kept them alive, but you simply can’t spend half the game auditioning for the Sin Bin XV.
- The Boks Don’t Panic — They Just Squeeze – Even when momentum swung or the crowd lifted, South Africa looked like a side that trusts its systems. Defence brutal, scrum monstrous, bench impact massive. They never needed flash — just pressure, precision, and patience.
- Ireland Still Has Fight — But Not Enough Firepower, Missing Key Men – Ireland’s attack looked sharp in glimpses, especially when Sheehan led the charge. But losing both flyhalves and spending so long undermanned meant they never had the organisational backbone to mount a true challenge. You can’t build a house when half your tradies are in the naughty corner.
France 48 Defeated Wallabies 33
Brave, Better, But Still Battered in Paris – Well, G&GRs, the Wallabies have wrapped up 2025 with a performance that was equal parts promising, infuriating, and very, very Wallaby. A much-improved Australian side went punch-for-punch with the Six Nations champion Frogs for a solid 50 minutes at the Stade de France… only to remember, midway through the second stanza, that discipline and accuracy are still optional extras in Wallabyland. France took full advantage, running out 48–33 winners and proving that class — and occasionally a referee’s whistle — is permanent.
Fast Start, Big Heart… and Angus Bell Leading the Charge – The boys in gold came out like they had a point to prove, and for once, they actually did. Inside the first minute, Angus Bell sliced through the French defensive line like a lawnmower through wet grass, setting up the momentum for Matt Faessler to crash over for the opener. Bell, celebrating his 50th cap, clearly didn’t get the memo that props aren’t meant to be this athletic.
France hit back, as the French annoyingly tend to do, through Nicolas Depoortère. But the Wallabies kept asking questions, with Harry Wilson nearly setting up Nick Frost for what would’ve been a very un-lock-like bit of flair. But Bell wasn’t done. Oh no. The big fella produced a genuine “how the hell did he do that?” try — taking a Fraser McReight pop pass, fending off two defenders, and galloping away for a five-pointer that would make any winger blush. Bell for the 2026 NRL season? Someone give Uncle Nick a call.
Bielle-Biarrey: The Human Cheat Code – Unfortunately for the Wallabies, France possesses one Louis Bielle-Biarrey — a winger who currently operates on what can only be described as God Mode. His chip-and-chase try was pure filth, the type of thing you only normally see on a YouTube highlights package titled “French Rugby Doing French Rugby Things.” The crowd loved it. We did not. Maxime Lucu then copped a yellow for repeated French sins in the red zone, and Faessler delivered the rolling-maul double to level it up at 19-all heading into oranges.
Second Half: Wallabies Competitive Until They Weren’t – The Aussies had dominated the scrum early, but naturally, the moment they needed it most, the scrum went walkabout and gifted France a shot at the lead. Depoortère grabbed his second, before Max Jorgensen returned fire with a stunning long-range effort — a 50-metre dash, kick ahead, and dive that almost made us forget he’s still young enough to be on his P-plates.
But then… came the penalties. So. Many. Penalties.
A string of infringements inside their own 22 saw France rumble over via Julien Marchand while Tom Hooper took a ten-minute cold shower. The sleet came down, the Wallabies pushed hard, Rob Valetini almost grounded one, and then Bielle-Biarrey struck again to ice it. Josh Nasser grabbed a late try — his first in gold — which was nice. And then Maxime Lamothe scored to make sure the scoreboard reflected the final gap in class. France wins 48–33. Wallabies better… but not better enough.
Three Things We Learned
- Angus Bell is Him – The best Wallaby on the field by a country mile. Two tries, dominant carries, huge work rate. A prop shouldn’t be able to do these things. And yet… Bell does.
- Discipline Still Our Kryptonite – This team can compete with the best — until they start gift-wrapping points with penalties, yellow cards, and field position. Four straight penalties inside the 22? Against France? That’s basically writing them a thank-you card.
- There’s a Wallaby Team Somewhere in Here – For long stretches, the attack looked threatening, the scrum looked strong, and the effort was genuine. Fix the discipline, add consistency, and 2026 might actually be interesting. Might.
New Zealand 52 defeated Wales 26
All Blacks Go Full Harlem Globetrotters, Wales Play Supporting Act (Again) – The All Blacks have once again treated Wales like that old training cone in the backyard that just won’t break no matter how many times you run over it. New Zealand rolled into Cardiff with 12 changes, a patched-up roster, and still walked out with a 52–26 win and their 34th straight victory over the Welsh. Thirty-four! Wales haven’t beaten them since 1953 — back when televisions were a luxury and rugby players wore actual short shorts, not these Lycra hotpants modern players rock.
But hey, credit where it’s due: Wales winger Tom Rogers bagged himself a hat-trick and will dine out on that for the rest of his days. The All Blacks? They scored tries for fun in the second half, McKenzie kicked everything that moved, and the Kiwi forward pack slowly squeezed the life out of the hosts like a python that’s heard you disrespect Richie McCaw.
First Half: A Trickle Becomes a Flood – Caleb Clarke opened the scoring early, finishing in the corner before Wales bounced back with Rogers’ first meat pie off a slick Dan Edwards pass. McKenzie knocked over a penalty as both teams briefly pretended it was a midfield arm-wrestle.
Then Ruben Love injected some razzle-dazzle, slicing through two Welsh forwards like they were speed bumps. Wales immediately struck back (again through Rogers), but the ABs finished the half strong with Tamaiti Williams — all 140kg of him — thundering over from close range. The bloke moves like a runaway fridge with a GPS.
Halftime: All Blacks up, Wales dreaming – Second Half: The All Blacks Remember They’re the All Blacks
Wales came out firing, with Rogers completing his hat-trick before the deodorant had dried on the Welsh coaching box. Suddenly, Welsh fans dared to dream! Then the All Blacks said, “Alright, fun’s over.”
Rieko (KARL’s favourite player) Ioane scored after a McKenzie kick-pass so perfectly weighted it should’ve come with an Air New Zealand baggage tag. Sevu Reece tucked in a brace, dancing around defenders like he’d been told scoring tries would get him out of post-season fitness testing. Two disallowed tries couldn’t slow the Kiwis down. 🧀’s certainly didn’t help Wales either — Gareth Thomas and later Taine Plumtree both took 10 to think about their life choices.
Wales got one back through Rees-Zammit — back from his brief and bewildering NFL cameo — but Caleb Clarke closed it out with his second to tip the scoreboard over the 50-point mark. Coach Razor Robertson smiled the smile of a man whose hair gel has never once failed him.
Final score: New Zealand 52 – Wales 26. And yes, the streak continues.
Three Things We Learned
- Tom Rogers is the Only Welshman allowed to Smile This Week – A hat-trick against the All Blacks is no small feat, especially in a team that spent half the game tackling shadows. Wales may be struggling, but Rogers is a genuine bright spark.
- The All Blacks’ Depth Is Just Unfair – Missing Savea, Taylor, Barrett? No problem. Plug in Love, Reece, Sititi, Williams — still roll in 50 points away from home. Other nations lose starters and panic. New Zealand loses starters and just… reloads.
- McKenzie Is Back to being Chaos Personified (in a Good Way) – Seventeen points, faultless off the tee, kick-passes that would make Quade blush. When he’s in tune, the whole team sings. Razor will be sleeping soundly tonight — possibly upside down like a creative rugby bat.
Italy 34 defeated Chile 19
Italy overcome competitive Chile 34–19 in its first-ever Test meeting. Well, crack open a Peroni, because the Azzurri have chalked up a 34–19 win over Chile in their maiden Test encounter — and let’s just say it wasn’t exactly the Sistine Chapel of rugby performances. More like finger painting with enthusiasm but questionable technique.
Italy started like a house on fire, racing out to a 15–0 lead and looking every bit the Tier 1 side against a Chilean outfit still buzzing from scraping into RWC 2027 at Samoa’s expense. Ange Capuozzo, who seems contractually obliged to make defenders look silly, sparked the early charge. Tommaso Di Bartolomeo decided one try wasn’t enough and helped himself to two, one in each half. Not to be outdone, Monty Ioane bagged a brace himself, reminding everyone that he’s still one of Italy’s best attacking weapons when given half a sniff.
Giacomo Da Re was on kicking duties and slotted three conversions and a penalty to round out the scoring. Nice, tidy, nothing too dramatic — unlike the rest of the performance. Because, mates, Italy then hit the mid-match snooze button. Chile, clearly refusing to read the script, clawed its way back with tries either side of halftime through Salvador Lues and Nicolas Saab. Suddenly, that 15–0 Italian lead was trimmed to a nail-biting single point, and the locals in Treviso started shifting nervously in their seats, wondering if they were about to witness another chapter in the Book of Great Italian Wobbles.
In fairness to Chile, they brought the fire. Clemente Saavedra even crashed over at the death to put a bit of lipstick on the scoreline, and frankly, they deserved every point. With more exposure to Tier 1 sides — which they’ll get now that they’ve booked their ticket to RWC 2027 — they’re only going to get better. As for Italy, the Quesada rotation train continued, with 10 changes from the side that lost to the Boks last week. Two teenagers, Enoch Opoku-Gyamfi and Edoardo Todaro, earned late debuts, giving Italian fans a glimpse into the future — and at least that part looked promising.
They opened the autumn internationals by stunning Australia 26–19, then fell to South Africa, and now they’ve stuttered their way past Chile. In other words: the full Italian experience. You never know which version you’re gonna get — but you’re always entertained.
Three Things We Learned
1. Italy’s inconsistency is still its biggest opponent – The Azzurri can look sensational one minute and asleep at the wheel the next. A 15–0 lead shouldn’t evaporate against a team ranked far below them, but here we are.
2. Chile belong at this level – They didn’t come to sightsee. Three tries, massive physicality, and zero fear. With more Test exposure, they could become a genuine nuisance for established nations.
3. The Italian youth movement is real – Debuts for Opoku-Gyamfi and Todaro show Italy’s pathway is producing. If they can blend this young talent with their current stars, the long-term picture suddenly looks a lot brighter than this scrappy performance suggested.
Anyway, boys and girls. That is all of the games I was able to watch and write up. There is more to come. But that was a belter of a weekend of rugby. Over to you, GAGRs! Have at it!
