Well, it was a disappointing round for the Aussie teams this week, especially my Reds. However, the Force continues to go from strength to strength. But the games were scintillating to watch, to be honest anytime watching the Waratahs lose is great.
So let’s have a look at this round game by game. Strap yourself into your chair, and try not to be too fuzzy from the change of the clock for daylight saving. Pour yourself a big cup of that wonderful brown stuff☕ and let’s talk rugby.
Super Rugby Pacific Round 8
Chiefs 27 defeated Reds 15
Chiefs rain on Reds’ Parade in a Soggy Scrap at the Tron. It was a case of close but no cigar over in Hamilton, where the Reds copped a wet-weather wedgie from the Chiefs, going down 27-15 in what can only be described as a greasy arm wrestle in the Waikato mud pit.
Les Kiss’s lads rolled into FMG Stadium with top billing—yep, first on the ladder for the first time in 13 long, sunburnt years—and they weren’t just making up the numbers. First half? Pure Queensland mongrel. The defence was tighter than Warwick Capper’s shorts and they had the Chiefs scratching their heads and coughing up errors like a Brumbies fan explaining the maul.
It was Joe Brial—remember the name, you’ll be shouting it from the Caxton soon—who gave Reds fans something to cheer about. He toepoked a loose pill 40 metres downfield, hunted it like Butz on a free beer and dived over for a meat pie just before the oranges. Unfortunately, young Harry McLaughlin-Phillips—who had a dig in rotten conditions—shanked both conversions like a tradie on a Friday arvo knock-off. The score at halftime: was 10-10 and we were still in it.
But as we all know, it’s not how you start it’s how you go after the rain really sets in and the TMO gets involved. HMP thought he’d scored just after the restart—good vision, a bit of footwork, looked the goods—but nooooooo, the TMO went full CSI and reckoned he lost it. Try reversed, hearts broken, beers thrown at TVs from Beenleigh to Bundy.
Then came the moment when the rugby gods officially turned their backs. Reds won the scrum against the feed (hell yeah), Jeff Toomaga-Allen was cooling his heels in the naughty chair with a slice of 🧀 for a high shot, and we had the chance to twist the knife. But nope. The lineout fizzled like a wet sparkler, and Damian McKenzie—ever the smug little show pony—slotted another penalty to make it 13-10.
From there, the dam wall cracked. Luke Jacobson had already opened the Chiefs’ account early, and then Samisoni Taukei’aho and Xavier Roe snuck over while the Reds scrambled like mad dogs in a thunderstorm. Still, the blokes never folded. McReight, Brial, Daugunu and Harry Wilson tackled like demons and hit rucks like they owed them money. And in a lovely bit of late-game magic, Wilson of all people turned playmaker—a bit of left-footed grubber (yep, you read that right)—to set up Lynagh for a consolation pie. Little wins, folks.
Tate McDermott deserves a pat on the back, too. In those greasy, miserable conditions he was one of the few who looked like he’d brought boots instead of flippers. “It was a sloppy scene out there,” Jacobson said. “We’ve just got to be clinical. It’s tough in weather like this but you don’t make excuses and there was some awesome play out there tonight so we’ve got to be happy.” McDermott said the fact his side was a man down, played into his decision to kick for touch rather than take the penalty at 10-10.
“If we had 15 players on the field we would take the three there,” he said. “I’ll wear that as the captain; we backed the boys, that’s what we’ve done all year. It didn’t come off and we’ll review why.”
The Wrap-Up
Reds fans, don’t get too down. Yeah, we let the top spot slip, but this wasn’t a fold job—it was a gritty performance in a tough away game, in biblical weather against a side that almost never loses at home. The boys showed ticker, especially on D. Just need to tighten up the execution and maybe buy Harry a new kicking tee. Next week? We dust ourselves off, fire up the bus and go again. And maybe, just maybe, keep the TMO away from the red button.
Player of the Match (Brisneyland BOG): Joe Brial – all heart, all hustle. Give this bloke a XXXX.
The villain of the Day: The TMO – mate, go get your eyes checked.
Moana Pasifika 45 defeated Waratahs 28
Moana bring the Mana, Tahs cop another hiding in Harbour Horror Show. Well, bugger me, if the Waratahs were a meat pie they’d be all crust and no filling. After starting like a house on fire they copped a soaking second-half drenching from a red-hot Moana Pasifika outfit. That’s back-to-back losses for the Tahs, and back-to-back wins for the Pasifika lads—yep, you read that right. History was made and the Tahs were the unfortunate footnote.
At half time, things looked alright. More than alright. With Joseph-Aukuso Suaalii pulling the strings like a rugby league puppeteer the Tahs went to the sheds 21-7 up. They looked the goods. Sharp, slick, and actually defending like they’d remembered how to tackle. But footy’s a game of two halves—and unfortunately, the second half saw the Tahs leave their brains (and their backbone) in the change rooms.
Cue the carnage. Feleti Sae-Ta’ufo’ou—yes, a tight-head prop—decided he was Ardie Savea for the afternoon and ran in a hat-trick. The Pasifika boys went full Harlem Globetrotters putting on 38 unanswered points in what can only be described as a defensive pantsing. Teddy Wilson dotted down early in the second half to stretch the Tahs lead, and you thought “Alright, we’re cruising here.” But no. What followed was a 15-minute horror stretch where the Waratahs defence went missing like Keith after shouting the first round.
Pellegrini, Havili and Fine Inisi all got in on the act, turning North Harbour into a house of pain for the men from NSW. Meanwhile, coach McKellar was probably wondering if it’s too late to get his old Brumbies gig back. Suaalii was one of the few shining lights—he set up three tries, had more involvements than a bloke at speed dating convention and generally looked like the only one wearing a Super Rugby-level jersey. Triston Reilly bagged a double off the back of Suaalii’s magic and young Teddy had a meat pie of his own.
But none of it mattered, for the second week in a row the Tahs got absolutely flogged. 57 points last week. 45 this week. That’s 105 points conceded in two games. Back to the drawing board? Mate, they need a new whiteboard, new markers, and probably a group booking with a sports psychologist.
Crusaders 31 defeated Fiji Drua 14
Crusaders break the Fijian Hoodoo, they finally crack the coconut in Suva. Well, it only took ’em a few years and a few hundred All Blacks but the Crusaders have finally notched up a win on Fijian soil, brushing aside the Drua 31-14 in what ended up looking like a training run under the Suva sun. Rob “Still Getting the Hang of This” Penney watched on as his red-and-black battalion chalked up 31 unanswered points – yep, you read that right – before the Drua even decided to clock in for work.
The tone was set early when young Noah Hotham, who looks like he’s still on his L plates, took a lovely little offload from Will “Can Someone Please Tackle Me” Jordan and scampered over in the corner before the crowd had even finished their first shell of kava. Speaking of Jordan, holy smokes, the bloke was on fire. Three try assists, and every touch had Crusaders fans swooning and Drua defenders reaching for air. The man’s basically a cheat code at this point.
Before the first water break, Antonio Shalfoon barged over thanks to some silky hands out wide, and then Chay Fihaki finished off another Jordan special. Just like that, 17-nil and the locals were starting to get nervous. Half-time came and went, and while the Drua had a few sniffs they couldn’t turn pressure into points. Meanwhile, the Crusaders looked like they’d just finished a light gym sesh.
Second half? More of the same. Jordan broke through yet again (because why not?) and grubbered ahead for Macca “Try Every Weekend” Springer, who gleefully dotted down. That’s eight tries in four games, by the way. Kid’s on fire. Then big Ioane Moananu came off the pine and steamrolled his way over the line just to rub a bit more salt into the Fijian wounds.
To their credit, the Drua finally gave the home crowd something to cheer about late in the piece. Isikeli Rabitu showed a clean pair of heels after collecting a lovely little chip from Iosefo Masi, and Etonia Waqa sliced through like a hot knife through butter for their second. A bit of pride was salvaged, but the damage was done. With a bonus point win the Crusaders leapfrog the Reds on the ladder (cheers for that) and now sit just two shy of the table-topping Chiefs.
As for the Drua? Off to Dunedin next week with their tail between their legs, still staring up from the basement. Let’s hope the Highlanders don’t fancy a statement game.
Blues 19 defeated the Hurricanes 18
Barrett boots the Canes as the Blues hang on for dear life. What a spicy meatball we had in this one! The Blues have finally remembered they’re meant to be a Super Rugby team, scraping together a gritty 19-18 win over the Hurricanes in a match tighter than Hoss’s shirt after Christmas. And who was the hero, you ask? None other than old mate Beauden Barrett—yes, that Beaudy, the one with a boot smoother than a Japanese whisky. He calmly slotted 16 of the Blues’ 19 points and showed his former teammates from Wellington that he’s still got the goods.
The game was a real arm wrestle. Defence was the order of the day with both sides tackling like their lives depended on it. The Canes had a sniff at the death—90 seconds on the clock, nicked a lineout, hearts pounding across Eden Park—but Barrett and big Mark Tele’a said “Not today, fellas,” bundling Kini Naholo into touch and snuffing out the final threat.
The Blues weren’t helping themselves either—big Patty Tuipulotu copped some 🧀 for a high shot that was certainly flirting with 🍷 territory. Lucky lad. But to their credit, the Aucklanders held their nerve. Barrett knocked over a couple of penalties, and while Peter Lakai looked to have scored for the Canes the TMO gave him the ol’ “nah mate” for obstruction. Still, you can’t keep a hungry back-rower down forever. Braydon Iose crashed over for the Canes to put them ahead, but the Blues hit back faster than Butz leaving the pub when we say it’s his shout. Marcel Renata—yes, a prop—crashed over from a quick tap to level things up by oranges.
The second half and the Canes edged ahead again thanks to Ngantungane Punivai, who ambled over untouched like it was a Sunday stroll along Oriental Parade. That gave the visitors an 18-16 lead and the Blues faithful some serious heartburn. Enter Mr Barrett. Cool as you like, nails a long-range penalty to put the Blues back in front, then watched on as a final Canes penalty drifted wide. Game over. Phew.
So where does that leave us? The Blues are still in tenth but now only four points off the Hurricanes in sixth. More importantly, they’ve finally got a bit of belief as they head into a big Auckland derby against Moana Pasifika. As for the Hurricanes—they’ll be kicking themselves but at least they salvaged a losing bonus point. They’ll need all the help they can get with the Crusaders coming to town next week. That will be a humdinger. KARL will be crapping himself.
Force 29 defeated the Highlanders 20
Force feed the Highlanders a taste of WA steel in Perth comeback. Well well well, how ’bout them Force, eh? The Perth battlers turned HBF Park into a fortress on Saturday night, pulling a rabbit out of the hat to roll the Highlanders 29–20 in a cracking five-try bonus point win. From 20–7 down to a storming 22-point unanswered blitz this was classic WA grit with a side of Carlo “Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop” Tizzano.
The boys from the west now find themselves in shock horror in fourth on the ladder (yeah, you read that right) with the bye up next to rest those battered bodies and soak up the glory. The Highlanders? Four straight Ls and sinking faster than a pint at a Brisneyland post-match debrief. Ninth spot. Ouch. And speaking of glory—enter stage left: Carlo Tizzano. The bloke is on a tear, notching his 11th meat pie of the season and topping it off with a clutch turnover at the death to lock in that sweet, sweet bonus point. Someone check his boots for rocket boosters.
But, as always, it wasn’t all sunshine and Swan Draughts. Dylan Pietsch copped an early exit in the 7th with what looked like another tweak to the already mummified left knee. Not ideal for the Wallaby hopeful. The game got off to a see-saw start. Tizzano barreled over from a rolling maul in the 14th to get the Force ticking. But the Landers came back swinging—Jona Nareki dancing past a couple of tackles, then Sam Gilbert adding another five-pointer for a 13-point buffer by the 27th minute. At that stage, Force fans were looking more nervous than a cat in a dog park.
But credit where it’s due, the Force rallied. Big Brandon Paenga-Amosa got the engine room rolling with a maul try in the 37th, then young Mac Grealy—who looks more comfortable at fullback with each passing week—snuck over right on the bell. Suddenly, 20–19 and game on, baby. Then came the big swing. Harry Potter (yep, still not sick of the name jokes) dotted down early in the second half to put the Force ahead, but not without drama. Highlanders No.8 Sean Withy decided to lead with the knees—straight into Potter’s noggin. HIA for Potter, 🧀 for Withy, then the bunker waved the 🍷. See ya later, son. The Highlanders were down to 14 for 20 long, painful minutes.
And the Force didn’t waste it, Max Burey scythed through the line and George Poolman finished the job to extend the lead to 29–20. Game, set, and Western Force match. Bit of biff and barge late on, Sio Tomkinson got a yellow for some overzealous enthusiasm, then Nareki joined him in the bin as the Highlanders completely lost the plot. Final whistle? Scenes. The Force boys were bouncing like they’d just won the comp. And fair play to ‘em—they held the Landers scoreless for 53 straight minutes. In this comp that’s no small feat.
The Force are surging, Tizzano is playing like a man possessed and the bye couldn’t come at a better time to regroup before the run home. As for the Highlanders, it might be time for a wee bit of soul searching across the ditch.
Super Rugby Pacific 2025 – Ladder
Standings Snapshot
As it stands the Chiefs lead the pack with 26 points followed closely by the Crusaders on 24 and the Reds with 23, slipping down out of first place. The Force’s recent win has them in fourth place with 20 points, while the Brumbies (who had a bye), also on 19 points, hold fifth place.
It’s shaping up to be an electrifying season, folks. Stay tuned, keep those jerseys clean, and remember: in Brisneyland, we don’t just watch rugby; we live it. Anyway enough of me dribbling 💩. Over to you G&GRs. Have at it!
