Greetings Rudders & welcome to the one after the penultimate Friday’s Rugby News on rugbydownunder.com. From Monday next week you will find the RDU team & some exciting new writers on Green & Gold Rugby. Never fear, should you type RDU into your search engine, our resident basement dweller, porn addict, Dorito bandit & IT extraordinaire promised us you will land at G&GR or a site with some interesting goat ‘wrestling’ techniques, so best not open at work.
Now to Rugby. I don’t know if it’s quite ‘Hoss off the long run’ today as Happyman likes to close his usual Thursday piece with. More like Hoss up hill, into a howling southerly, but I push on & push through none the less. Today let’s start in the birthplace of shitty coffee, nicotine stained teeth and men with bad breathe in ‘Qui veut gagner des millions?’. Adjust our tin foil hats with ‘Osama Bin Hansen’. Crowdfund for our Wallaroos in ‘Waugh, what is he good for?’ Have a look at the teams, times & coverage of the RWC warm up between The Nearlies & The Popes Lot in ‘Who Really Cares!’ . And close the book on RDU with ‘Friday’s Goss’ with Hoss’ currently mentoring Johnny Farnham on what ‘last’ actually means.
Qui veut gagner des millions ?
Thursday last week coach Brian set the internet on fire with his farewell tanty, put the Akubra in the overhead locker, grinned and headed north. And there’s been not much rugby news to report, or has there????
A little heralded news article cropped up on Midi Olympique about RA’s ‘threatening’ to cancel their friendly against the white flag wavers unless they received the promised and regular ‘away team’ payment of a cool $1,700,000.00.
The SMH also reports:
On the strength of the words of the Australian leaders, we have discovered an oral agreement for a sum of the order of one million euros or a little less,” Grill told Midi Olympique.
“The Australian federation therefore wrote to us to collect this sum, plus a percentage on the TV rights. An agreement which would therefore have been given at the time of the old governance. Obviously, it hadn’t been budgeted for.
The FFR reportedly responded in writing to RA reminding them of their tour to Australia during COVID-19 in 2021, and offering half of the revenue of Stade de France accrued above the sale of 65,000 seats, at the 79,000-seat venue, in addition to what they’d budgeted for as a match fee.
With the game still happening, obviously calmer heads have prevailed, especially given the French did tour here in ’21 to alleviate the financial impacts on RA at the time caused by the Wuhan Wonder Bug.
France v Australia
Stade de France, Paris. Monday 28th August Live & exclusive 1.15am AEST on STAN.
At time of publishing the Wallabies side was yet to be named (I will update when le known), but le French have gone full throttle:
France: 15 Thomas Ramos, 14 Damian Penaud, 13 Gael Fickou, 12 Jonathan Danty, 11 Gabin Villiere, 10 Matthieu Jalibert, 9 Antoine Dupont (c), 8 Gregory Alldritt, 7 Charles Ollivon, 6 Francois Cros, 5 Paul Willemse, 4 Thibaud Flament, 3 Uini Atonio, 2 Julien Marchand, 1 Jean-Baptiste Gros
Replacements: 16 Peato Mauvaka, 17 Sebastien Taofifenua, 18 Dorian Aldegheri, 19 Romain Taofifenua, 20 Cameron Woki, 21 Paul Boudehent, 22 Baptiste Couilloud, 23 Melvyn Jaminet
Prédiction intrépide: Australie by TBA.
Waugh, what is he good for?
‘Absolutely nuttin’ according to the Wallaroos.
Now I know it’s a tad harsh to blame Australia’s best ever openside flanker Mr Phil Waugh, but Lex Marinos has shot through so someone has to aim up.
How come with all the coverage, all the ‘feel good’ stories emanating from the Matilda’s tilt at glory, all the momentum around women’s sports, all the additional federal funding announced by Chairman Albo ($200 million), how come, in all of this ‘feel good maelstrom’, someone at RA wouldn’t have gone, ‘you know what, let’s get ahead of this, put our hat in the ring for a slice of the $$$ and ride that wave all the way to 2029 & beyond?
What was obvious to me as a casual fan of soccer & by ‘causal’ I mean I wont watch it again until our girls play, was the difference in quality and depth of that of the uber funded NH sides. That’s in no way a criticism of our lot, but to be fully objective, the Matilda’s were ‘brave’ and all that stuff, but ultimately & noticeably well & truly outclassed by the better funded sides, who in no strange addendum also had better funded programs.
So if better funding, leads to better outcomes, then surely RA would……………………and if it happened that the Federal government was keen to fund women’s sports, than wouldn’t RA ………………………………………..(anyone at RA listening?). Aren’t we having a home Women’s RWC in 2029? Didn’t Australia’s Socialist Supremo just offer a blank cheque for funding of national women’s codes / sides?
I get that the sheer physical bulk of some of the Wallabies players means the ergonomics of an ‘economy’ airline seat are simply out of the question for backsides the size of The Abattoirs. That thing has a bigger surface area than many suburbs of Brisbane. An honourable mention should also go to Rob Leota, for when he walks, from behind his shorts look like there’s 6 men wrestling in a 3 man tent. So there are practicsal reasons for flying business class. But surely that is then the benchmark for all players? Women’s, Men’s, XV’s & VII’s right? And as for ‘flying in’ the WAG’s of the Wallabies to Sydney to say goodbye? It’s a wonderful gesture, but bugger me if it aint also completely tone deaf!
What am I missing here?
In all of this, perhaps a more inciteful and articulate view should go to Kirby Sefo on G&GR. One only hopes the right people at RA are reading this too.
The coming months will indeed tell us exactly what Waugh is good for.
Osama Bin Hansen?
What a wonderful code we have & I mean that sincerely, almost, nearly, kind of.
This week brought news we have the greatest ever coach of The Nearlies, with a staggering 95% win record, helping, free of charge, ‘a mate’ and adding an observation or two into the mix to help the RWC chances of none other then sworn enemy and bastion of hope and aspiration of all those in the Poxy Isles: Australia.
But, riddle me this Rudders, haven’t you also heard of ‘rugby sleeper cells’? Someone intrenched in every day life, seemingly a good guy, under the radar, a good neighbour, quiet type, always ‘willing to help’ when needed? Enter stage right Shag Hansen.
The same Shag Hansen who claimed we bugged their motel meeting room! The same Shag Hansen who actually drew the ‘clown’ picture of Australia’s most successful Super Rugby coach of the last decade, one Mr M Cheika and faxed it to NV newspapers (the internet is shite over there)! That same ‘Shag’ rocks up to Wallabies camp to ‘help a mate’ out of the goodness of his rugby soul?
Me thinks not.
Maybe, just maybe, there is a whiff of
lanolin sheer panic in the Kiwi Rugby fraternity? Maybe they’ve awoken this ‘cell’ because of the clever and unexpected curve ball Brian surprised all with his RWC selections and leadership calls? Maybe they’ve awoken their best agent, the smiling assassin, the good bloke happy to ‘help a mate’, the man for all crisis & the one nobody suspects? Maybe he’s also hiding in plain sight!
Well NZ, you have to get outta bed 4 hours before I do to get the drop on me. I see through your ruse and into the blackness that lies at the heart of that nearly all black jersey you wear and I say this: ‘not on my watch’
Believe this peoples. The Kiwis are worried, they sense a great Australian world cup ambush and they’ve sent their very best to disrupt our rugby destiny.
Nice try Bin Hansen, but we see you. I see you.
Who Really Cares?
NZ v South Africa.
Twickenham Stadium. Sat 26th August 4.19am AEST. Live & exclusive on STAN
It’s fair to say the two SH titans aren’t holding back with their respective XXIII’s almost at ‘full strength.
And let’s face it, this close to the RWC kickoff, both sides will be looking to lay a marker and make a statement for what lies ahead in France and who can blame them.
A win in this match will send a very clear signal to all sides watching and make no mistake, every side will be watching for any tell-tale signs of chinks in the armor. The victor will walk away enhanced, the vanquished? The rugby world will sniff vulnerability. For Ireland may be currently ranked #1 (current rankings here) but everyone knows to win a RWC you simply must beat at least one of these rugby goliath’s at some point.
With Twickers a sell-out and these squads bursting with experience, talent, pace and skill everywhere it’s essentially going to be ‘rugby porn’ for us all & I can’t wait.
New Zealand: 15 Beauden Barrett, 14 Will Jordan, 13 Rieko Ioane, 12 Jordie Barrett, 11 Mark Telea, 10 Richie Mo’unga, 9 Aaron Smith, 8 Ardie Savea, 7 Sam Cane (c), 6 Luke Jacobson, 5 Scott Barrett, 4 Sam Whitelock, 3 Tyrel Lomax, 2 Dane Coles, 1 Ethan de Groot
Replacements: 16 Samisoni Taukei’aho, 17 Tamaiti Williams, 18 Fletcher Newell, 19 Josh Lord, 20 Tupou Vaa’i, 21 Dalton Papali’i, 22 Cam Roigard, 23 Anton Lienert-Brown
South Africa: 15 Damian Willemse, 14 Kurt-Lee Arendse, 13 Canan Moodie, 12 Andre Esterhuizen, 11 Makazole Mapimpi, 10 Manie Libbok, 9 Faf de Klerk, 8 Duane Vermeulen, 7 Pieter-Steph du Toit, 6 Siya Kolisi (c), 5 Franco Mostert, 4 Eben Etzebeth, 3 Frans Malherbe, 2 Malcolm Marx, 1 Steven Kitshoff
Replacements: 16 Bongi Mbonambi, 17 Ox Nche, 18 Trevor Nyakane, 19 Jean Kleyn, 20 RG Snyman, 21 Marco van Staden, 22 Cobus Reinach, 23 Willie le Roux
Fearless Prediction: I can’t split them. Maybe the Kiwi’s bench gets them home. Maybe. Nearlies by 3. And as Archie said this week in his comment on RDU. Australia first, ANZAC brotherhood next. (which doesn’t mean I am cheering ‘for them’. It just means I am not cheering ‘against them’)
Fridays Goss’ with Hoss.
Not just a number. But how many Australian were killed in France & Belgium in WWI. Ponder that as a percentage of our population size at the time. The Wallabies spent their first full day in France paying their & our respects at the Australian National Memorial & Military Cemetey at Villwes-Bretonneux.
Lest we forget.
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, A, A, A.
Australia A v Portugal
Stade Jules-Ladoumègue, Massy, 8:00pm Saturday 26 August (4:00am AEST Sunday 27 August)
1. Tom Lambert, 2. Lachlan Lonergan, 3. Sam Talakai, 4. Josh Canham, 5. Cadeyrn Neville, 6. Lachlan Swinton, 7. Pete Samu, 8. Seru Uru, Ryan Lonergan (C) 10. Bernard Foley, 11. Dylan Pietsch,12. James O’Connor, 13. Filipo Daugunu, 14. Lachlan Anderson, 15. Tom Wright, Reserves 16. Folau Fainga’a, 17. Matt Gibbon, 18. Rhys Van Nek, 19. Darcy Swain, Ned Hanigan, 21. James Tuttle, 22. Hunter Paisami, 23. Josh Flook.
Don’t mind this team of travelling RWC standby’s. rugby.com.au has more.
Please make it so. SMH has more.
All this weekends RWC ‘warm ups’ – world.rugby.com
Oh what a feeling.
The Force have announced their 23 to face the Cheetahs in the opening of the four round ‘Toyota Challenge’ 11pm WST tonight in Bloemfontein. rugby.com.au has more
The Van Morrison Cup?
As you brush your shoes & stand before the mirror…..the Wild Knights, the Panasonic Wild Knights will play in the QPRQ on November 4th when Dingo Deans coached side squares off against the new Communist coach and coincidentally also the name of Yowie’s favourite movie, Les Kiss.
The QPRQ uses a further 1326 words to tell us what 85 would have, but it’s a good idea. And just a tip for those in Communist HQ up north, imagine promoting ‘Les Kiss v Water Gush’ next year. It would be a full house & boost the sale of trench coats everywhere. Just a thought.
Howzat & Howzat!
Appeal & counter appeal? stuff.co.nz has more. Remember, this is schoolboy rugby when reading this. And people reckon rugby aint a religion in NZ. At least the rugby fanaticism gives livestock some reprieve I guess.
Until next week, back on G&GR
Go the Wallabies!