A wicka-wicka what!
Sup b-boys, b-girls and b-tweeners, it’s Friday again and time to throw down another Friday’s Rugby News. And there’s plenty to talk about, so slip on the tracky dacks and let’s all cypher, first up in ‘Breaking Bad‘. Jump aboard the hysteria wagon for ‘RESPECT‘. Cast an eye eastward towards middle earth for ‘#bringbackfozzie’. I get stuff off my chest in ‘Stop Smiling Stupid’. And wrap up another working week with ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, guaranteed gold medal quality.
Breaking Bad.
Well that was certainly hard to watch.
While the result didn’t surprise (to be frank, it actually flattered the Wallabies), the manner of the capitulation was poor. We only scored when it was 15 against 13 and even then the Wallabies tried their best to butcher those chances. There seemed a sense of supplicant resignation to the rugby deities in green. Our lot were no more than support actors in a production they could barely influence, let alone grasp the full understanding of.
There’s no doubt we rugby fans are in the midst of witnessing an exceptionally talented, dangerous and cohesive Saffa side. They are seriously good. Proper good. Or as the commentator formerly known as Hoops says, ‘uber good’. The Saffas have added subtlety, deception and expansive width to their formidable power game. And boy, aren’t they good to watch and won’t they take some stopping.
But stopped they can be, they are still beatable. As evidenced by a rather handy Oirish side who drew the recent series against them, in South Africa at that! Now before you spit your Guinness over your cornflakes, I do not proffer that those in gold are anywhere near those in emerald green in terms of ability or rugby journey, only that every team, any team, is beatable.
But bugger me if missed tackles, shite kicks, missed tackles, dumb passes (or non-passes), poor options, missed tackles, contested kicks among our own players and a bevy of basic rugby mistakes which wouldn’t allow you to beat the Jindabyne Bush Pigs let alone challenge the quadruple world champions. It’d be fair to say that pressure from the DDF side contributed to a fair amount of the Benny Hillesque Wallabies last week. But can anyone here say that our team were ‘brilliant at the basics’ regardless of the Saffa onslaught? Hell, I’d even settle for plain ol’ competent.
And therein lies the rub. Until we rid ourselves of the uncertainty of our play, the rugby panic, the rubbish execution of basic skills we will remain in rugby purgatory. Our team must improve and to do so will require the Wallabies, once and for all, to go full Raygun and breaking bad.
RESPECT.
Wallabies v South Africa . Optus Stadium Perth. Saturday 17 August at 7.00pm. Kickoff 7.55pm AEST.
Give me a break. All this BS in the media about Rassie not respecting Australia by making 10 changes to the Boks for this weekend, it’s utter rot.
One of the reasons the Boks are as good as they are, and improving, is the depth of players that are exposed to frequent game time under real world conditions to sharpen their knowledge and hone their decision making skills. Sure, every test is important, but if you don’t think Rassie is more interested in a RWC2027 title over a Perth win, well, you’ve possibly suffered a brain injury or live in Tasmania. Besides, with the Kiwis still to come, why wouldn’t you rotate the squad, freshen up the legs of those like 34 yo skipper Kolisi and expose gen-next to test match pressure thus increasing depth at the same time!
It’s a luxury winners can afford and losers can only aspire too. Which leads us to the this week’s match in Western Australia, where sacred indigenous sites are just piles of yet to be discovered iron ore waiting to be extorted exported.
The Wallabies welcome back Angus Bell for much needed size and grunt up front as well as outstanding ball carries. The Exocet, Marika Koroibete, also returns from near retirement (and Eddie Jones fatigue) for his spot on the wing. Say what you will, but Marika’s physicality and propensity for work in tight will be a much needed tonic for sore forwards as the game progresses. The Lip gets a start at #9 next to Noah ‘last chance saloon’ Lolesio. Surely Noah has fewer chances left than a 35 yo monopoly game. And Tom Wright can count himself lucky to still be in the side as he’s regressed to John Denver status as the international season has evolved.
Similarly, the once rock steady 7As and the man who was there when dirt was invented, James Slipper, have also underwhelmed this season and need to rediscover the form that made them automatic selections.
The game is there to be won this weekend. 10 changes is still 10 changes after all. But this game will be won in the first 20 minutes. Not on the scoreboard, but by the defensive endeavour and commitment shown by those in gold. Set a marker early. Tackle low and with intent, allowing Tizzano to annoy and disrupt the Boks ruck. Kick well and execute basic skills and they’ll still be in the game with 10 to go. As opposed to halftime and the Boks by ‘how much’ like last week.
However, roll out a Brisbane type performance and it’ll be a long day in Perth. And Jehovah knows, time can stand still in the west at the best of times. Having spent 18 days their one weekend I can speak to the adverse influence on the time-space continuum that Perth invokes.
On a side note, a hearty G&GR congratulations to Seru Uru and Mad Max Jorgensen, both named on the pine and in line for debuts. Go well gents.
Fearless Prediction: Wallabies by 4. Why the hell not.
Wallabies (15-1): Tom Wright; Andrew Kellaway, Len Ikitau, Hunter Paisami, Marika Koroibete; Noah Lolesio, Nic White; Harry Wilson, Carlo Tizzano, Rob Valetini; Lukhan Salakaia-Loto, Angus Blyth; Allan Alaalatoa (captain), Josh Nasser, Angus Bell
Replacements: Billy Pollard, James Slipper, Zane Nonggorr, Tom Hooper, Seru Uru, Tate McDermott, Ben Donaldson, Max Jorgensen
Springboks (15-1): Aphelele Fassi; Cheslin Kolbe, Jesse Kriel, Lukhanyo Am, Makazole Mapimpi; Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu, Morne van den Berg; Elrigh Louw, Pieter-Steph du Toit, Marco van Staden; Ruan Nortje, Salmaan Moerat (captain); Thomas du Toit, Johan Grobbelaar, Jan-Hendrik Wessels
Replacements: Malcolm Marx, Ox Nche, Vincent Koch, Eben Etzebeth, Kwagga Smith, Grant Williams, Manie Libbok, Handre Pollard
Match Officials: Referee: Paul Williams (NZR) Assistant Referees: Luke Pearce (RFU), Hollie Davidson (SRU) TMO: Richard Kelly (NZR)
#bringbackfozzie
NZ v Argentina. Saturday 17 August, Eden Park Auckland. 4:00pm. Kick off 5:05pm AEST.
Turns out the best coach to next coach the ABs is in fact the wrong bloke to coach the ABs altogether. Record points conceded on home soil, a rudderless rabble bereft of any conceivable plan and no bonus point and first loss in an opening RC game since 2012. What’s going on across the dutch? It’s enough to make you tune into break dancing coverage. Well, nearly.
It would appear the honeymoon is over before it even began. Barry White’s playing in the boudoir, there’re scented candles burning, lanolin body gel on the bedside, but the other half has scarpered down the fire exit, running screaming down the alleyway wondering what the hell they’ve just got themselves into and realising they really miss their ol’ flame, one Ian Fozzie Foster.
Many of you seriously underestimated the Pumas last week and they will be even better this week. Eden Park hoodoo, what hoodoo? Sure the ABs ‘will be keen to respond’ and ‘hungry’ and looking to contribute and all that other BS. But consider this: what if they’re just not good enough anymore?
Cue spooky music here.
Fearless Prediction: They aren’t. Argentina by 11.
New Zealand (15-1): Beauden Barrett; Will Jordan, Rieko Ioane, Jordie Barrett, Caleb Clarke; Damian McKenzie, TJ Perenara; Ardie Savea (captain), Dalton Papali’i, Ethan Blackadder; Sam Darry, Tupou Vaa’i; Tyrel Lomax, Codie Taylor, Tamaiti Williams.
Replacements: Asafo Aumua, Ofa Tu’ungafasi, Fletcher Newell, Josh Lord, Sam Cane, Cortez Ratima, Anton Lienert-Brown, Mark Tele’a
Argentina: TBA
Match Officials: Referee: Andrea Piardi (FIR) Assistant Referees: Angus Gardner (RA), Nic Berry (RA) TMO: Marius Jonker (SARU)
Stop Smiling Stupid!
Is it just me, or does this twit just not learn?
Not content with previously going full Spanners Foley and timing out on a critical kick against the bathing averse, Damien McKenzie continues with his moronic pre-kicking ritual of smiling like an idiot before every kick, including when the ref gives him the 5 seconds call!
I actually find the whole thing frankly disturbing. It’s like the smile Hannibal Lecter gives when discussing fava beans and a nice Chianti. Or your accountant gives you when he discusses a taxation ‘anomaly’ you have (how the hell isn’t bourbon a tool of trade and a legitimate tax deduction?). Hey D-Mac, here’s a tip: how ’bout working on your passing instead, you know, like the one that cost your side the last test.
I also note the moronic masses (I know deciphering that NZ cohort from any other NZ cohort is next to impossible) cheer less for said stupid smile when their side is behind. Strange that. But can someone please tell me, why it’s entertaining? Why does it warrant a cheer? Why is this creepy little dude with the menacing grin smiling at all?
I’ll leave you with this. If he turned up at your door to date your daughter/son/livestock and smiled like that, how would you react?
Just stop smiling, stupid.
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
Deegan Digs Deep.
Galloping green halfback, Andrew Deegan, has taken out the prestigious 2024 Ken Catchpole Medal as Shute Shield PotY. Deegan led the competition in line break assists to take out the honour, presented by Mrs June Catchpole, widow of Ken Catchpole. rugby.com.au has all the award winners. Congrats to all.
Slime Time.
It’s preliminary final time this Saturday in the Hunter Premier Rugby with Maitland taking on the Hamilton Hawks at No.2 Sportsground in Newcastle. Lying in wait, with a grand final berth already secured, are ‘The Slime’, Merewether Carlton. When it comes to Hunter Rugby everyone has two favourite sides, their side and whoever’s playing The Slime.
The GF is on Saturday 24 August at No.2. I’ll see you on the hill for an ale or two. Come on, not Merewether.
White Whacks Wallabies.
Jake White wades into the Wallabies debate and doesn’t hold back. planetrugby.com has more
More is More.
A reminder that RWC2027 will see 24 sides in the tournament in 6 groups of 4, including a ’round of 16′. rugby.com.au has more.
Bula. Again.
After being dismissed from the World Rugby Council in May last year, the Fiji Rugby Union has been reinstated after the adoption of a new constitution and new governance structure.
Chairman of FRU Peter Maizey said: “The adoption of our new constitution and governance framework is a testament to our dedication to moving Fiji Rugby forward. This reinstatement is not just a victory for our Union but for all our players, coaches, and fans who have stood by us during this period.”
Until next week. Come on Aussies.
Hoss – out.
