Greetings humans and welcome to Friday’s Rugby News from a sodden Hunter Valley.
Money, money, money matters this week. Who’s got it, who wants it and who’s been spending it like Barnaby Joyce on a pork barrelling genuine re-election campaign. Let’s jump into the money pit first up with: ‘Not Drowning, Waving?’ Head south to the land of promises without proof in ‘Show Me the Money, Please’. Preview round #11 of SRP in ‘Last Rights?’ Look at a possible career change in: ‘The Rabbit Whisperer’. And bid the working week farewell with another ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, recently appointed a Bonza Airlines ambassador.
Not Drowning, Waving?
It’s been said that money is the evil of all roots. Or something like that. And the central theme to Australian rugby news this week has been dollars, lots and lots and lots of dollars. Or more precisely, the lack thereof.
Rather than repeat it all, there was an inciteful and damning SMH report that laid it all bare. And all of that before the Tahs announced a $4.8m loss for 2023 as well.
Some of the low lights:
- $1m still unpaid by the French for the RWC ‘warm up’ match. This is just baffling and a telling insight into life under the former RA administration. No formal contract in place. A verbal agreement with a corrupt former French Union official and no payment yet. If you were France, how much would you pay?
- 2023 matchday revenue down $25m from 2022. Due to only two home tests in last year’s World Cup year.
- World Cup expenditure of $11.5m. Yep, $11.5 million dollars. Keep in mind RA stand by their claim that $2.6m of this amount is ‘unapproved overspend’. I could’ve coached the team, totally rooted our chances and near crippled the code in Oz for a smidgeon of that money.
- And this loss is on the back of a $31m grant (or 30% of RA revenue) from World Rugby for the RWC.
- $50m of the $80m credit facility RA established has already been drawn down. And this at a reported interest rate of 10% pa. Seems my bank isn’t the only thieving bastard financial institution out there.
Maybe that accountant isn’t waving after all?
#passthehataround
Show Me the Money, Please!
Another money related story appeared late yesterday surrounding the perilous state of the Rebels finances, the consortium with the alleged financial backing and a veiled threat from the Victorian government to Rugby Australia!
Grab the popcorn, this is about to get interesting.
From the SMH: A senior government source, not authorised to speak publicly as the conversations were confidential, confirmed on Wednesday that Sports Minister Steve Dimopolous phoned Rugby Australia chair Daniel Herbert late last week to discuss the implications of hosting the final at the MCG if there was no Victorian team in Super Rugby.
“The government supports rugby union remaining in our state and expects Rugby Australia to commit to a team at the elite level of the sport in Victoria,” he said in a statement. “Rugby Victoria and our elite rugby union team, the Melbourne Rebels, have deep community roots and successful programs that support and inspire the community from the grassroots level up to the elite.”
However, RA counted with: “These are two different matters. The Melbourne Rebels is a unique situation around the future viability of the club and the financial sustainability of professional rugby in Australia. The other is around the placement of major global sporting events in Melbourne,”
However this ends, somebody, at some stage, has to show somebody else, the money. And soon.
Last Rites?
Now to some actual rugby.
The beauty of a top eight, with only twelve sides in the comp, means nearly everybody gets a prize. With four rounds remaining there are six sides with a chance of taking the last two spots. As it currently stands:
- 7th Fijian Drua – 17 points
- 8th Highlanders – 15
- 9th Moana Pas. – 14
- 10th Crusaders – 12
- 11th Waratahs – 12
- 12th Force – 10
So to this weekend’s matches. With wins at a premium and even losing bonus points proving critical there’s a lot to play for. But I can see some real blowout scores coming. Who wins and why? Read on.
Teams: Happy’s Thursday News.
Friday 3 May 5:05 PM AEST – Hurricanes v NSW Waratahs at SKY Stadium, Wellington, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
A ref who lets the ruck be a dockside brawl, actually dockside brawls are more civil. Missing more players than I can count. And for me, no Jed, no Ned, equals ’nuff said.
Fearless Prediction: Canes by 23.
Referee: Dan Waenga Assistant Referees: Paul Williams, Mike Winter
Friday 3 May 7:35 PM AEST – Melbourne Rebels v Blues at AAMI Park, Melbourne, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
Rebs are at home, but that’s where the good news ends I reckon. How can you seriously back a team that lost 39-0 last up? One would hope the players are chafed chastened by both their efforts last week and, hopefully, by the management imposed ‘nudie run’ that followed. It was gutless, soulless tripe the players produced and their coaches and fans deserve better. Much better.
Skipper Rob Leota is back in the run-on side for first time since round 6. KFC gold card holder and life member, Taniela Tupou gets a rare start and will be under the microscope from fans and selectors alike. The big man needs to regain his gum chewin’, scrum screwin’ ways pronto, as both the Rebs and the Orange Ones are better when he’s on song.
However, the Blues are really running into some sublime form. Sotutu is something special and just perhaps the SRP player of the year so far and I just think they have too much class.
Fearless Prediction: Blues by 29. Close up until 55 minutes and then the Blues will blow them away. Let’s hope the Rebs get on the board this week at least.
Referee: Angus Gardner Assistant Referees: Matt Kellahan, James Palmer
Saturday 4 May 12:05 pm – Moana Pasifika v Highlanders at Teufaiva Stadium, Nuku’alofa, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
Great to see the MP side get a game at a proper home ground. The MP lads were brave, but disappointing last week in the battle for bragging rights with the Drua. I reckon there’s an upset brewing here too.
Fearless Prediction: MP by 9.
Referee: Ben O’Keeffe Assistant Referees: Stu Curran, Jackson Henshaw
Saturday 4 May 2:35 pm – Crusaders v Queensland Reds at Apollo Projects Stadium, Christchurch, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
Asking for a friend, but how many close games do you have to lose before you’re considered chokers?
Anyway, the Greg Norman of Australian rugby (which is ironic as he was also a Coinslander) the Reds, this week take on a resurgent (two wins in a year makes them resurgent, WTF?) NZ easybeats the Crusaders. The Crusschutchians will welcome former Welsh legend and sexagenarian (be careful typing that at work. I found out one typo takes you down a rabbit hole – literally) Leigh Halfpenny for his first Super Rugby start with the team formerly known as champions. Well done that man.
For the Communists, they welcome back Australia’s second best #7 after he was suspended for flagrant assault on an opposing player a few weeks back. Plus he got an extra week added to his punishment, for not being as good as Charlie Gamble.
I must admit the Reds look settled and dangerous in their starting XV, but the Saders look more experienced and dangerous from the bench and the two replacement front rows could settle the result in this one. Indeed, I can see this being another one that goes right to the wire and the QPRQ side…
Fearless Prediction: Winning by 2. I mean even Norman eventually won a couple of majors. Even if they were only British ones.
Referee: Jordan Way Assistant Referees: Damon Murphy, Jeremy Markey
Saturday 4 May 5:05 pm – Chiefs v Western Force at FMG Stadium Waikato, Hamilton, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
Ever see a team afraid to win? Go back and watch last week’s Force game. Bugger me if it wasn’t like watching Rambo skin Bambi with a blunt dessert spoon. It was wretched and psychologically damaging to watch that game.
They travel up the road (aren’t all NZ cities on the same street?) to take on the Chuffs this week. At least the Waikato lot won’t make the Force suffer as much. It will be quick, clean and brutal. Although James Doleman has the whistle. Sigh.
Fearless Prediction: May the Fourth be with you indeed. Chuffs by 40.
Referee: James Doleman Assistant Referees: Jono Bredin, Fraser Hannon
Saturday 4 May 7:35 pm – ACT Brumbies v Fijian Drua at GIO Stadium, Canberra, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
The Ponies were at their best last week, which is great, because the week before I thought the Rebels had stolen their jerseys. The Brumbies have had a few injury changes to their side. With hooker Billy Pollard out and Corey Toole also out with an ankle injury. Perhaps Toole has refused to play until Jimmy Slips comes up with a better nickname?
Last week saw the old men of the front row, 7As and Slips, reunite and their forward pack looked entirely different. This week with grunt up front, pace and guile out wide and the uber impressive ‘Aussie Joe’ Tua at #12, the Ponies will be far too good.
Fearless Prediction: Ponies by 28
Referee: Nic Berry Assistant Referees: Jordan Kaminsky, George Myers
The Rabbit Whisperer?
What’s a renowned rugby union coach to do when he’s looking for work? Why apply his trade skills to gaol ball, that’s what.
Interesting twist this week, in the storied and successful career of one of the world’s best rugby coaches. Media reports suggesting he has expressed in interest in coaching perennial NRL spoon collectors, the South Sydney Rabbitohs.
No stranger to loig, Cheika took Lebanon to the the loig World Cup in 2022 and say what you will, the guy can coach. Still the one and only coach to win the major rugby titles in both northern and southern hemispheres and take his team to a RWC final at his first attempt and was the 2015 World Rugby Coach of the Year.
Josh Mansour who played under Cheika in 2022 for the Lebanon Cedars, tells the SMH:
“He’d be perfect for South Sydney. He’s a coach that’s very good at bringing a team together. He’s a good man manager. He’s a proven winner. The best trait about Michael Cheika is his ability to instil belief, not only within yourself as a player, but within the team. He’s just extremely passionate about what he does.”
Thinking about a union coach jumping camps got me thinking. What if coach Voldemort also applied? So I inquired directly to him in Japan.
When challenged, the former truth oracle replied: ‘don’t know what you’re talking about mate’. However, sources have told G&GR Voldemort has since been spotted checking out a fixer upper in the Redfern area. It’s believed he’s hired a bricky to do the styling, a painter to fix the plumbing, a lecko to do the concreting, 18 staff to oversee these guys and his BFF Chris Webb, to get his coffees and provide constant affirmation the the coach is always right and the rest of the world is always wrong.
Sound familiar?
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
Schmidt: For Brains.
After the cluster fudge under a former Wallaby coach, how refreshing is reading something like this from St Joe on rugby.com.au:
“I don’t think I have a massive amount of IP but I’ve got a lot of experience after 20+ years of professional coaching and whatever I know about the All Blacks, the All Blacks know lots about me as well.
“My real motivation for trying to help was when Peter Horne rang me, I genuinely believe we need to be as strong as we can in this corner of the world and that’s a corner we share with the All Blacks and New Zealand, not a corner where we can live in isolation.
“One of the ways to help each other is to try to be as competitive as we can be against each other to drive the performance of both teams.”
‘Bigger than rugby’
Well said and well done: stuff.co.nz has more
Bull Bledisloe Bounce Back?
I must admit that the chatter around Angus ‘The Bull’ Bell and his injury went a little quiet lately, but then this from planetrugby.com that the big unit could return in September for #bringbackbelisloe campaign. Go well Gus.
Pluck of the Irish?
Perennial world cup chokers may have gotten ahead of themselves a wee bit: stuff.co.nz has more.
Plucking of the Irish.
News last night that our Wallaroos will take on an Irish side in September. The test at Kingspan Stadium on 14 September will be the first test between the two sides for seven years. The Oirish test is part of an expanded 2024 test season as our team builds towards the 2025 RWC: rugby.com.au has more.
Dazed, Glazed and Tazed.
At least big Billy V didn’t resist arrest. Besides it’s got the makings of a terrific joke: An Aussie born, Samoan heritage, English rugby player walks into a bar with 9 Spanish police (count ’em). Although one might argue a few of the cops could be cited for high tackles, late and from the side. Surprising how many of the police found their courage when Vunipola was flat on the ground, with enough current running through him to power a fleet of Teslas.
Check it out on X, called this because Elon Musk simply cannot spell.
Under 20s Underperform.
The Aussie U20s got a reality check last night on the Sunshine Coast, ironically played in torrential rain. The Golden young guns took on the Pumitas to kick off the U20 TRC campaign. The young FISMs took the chocolates 25-6.
Shameless Self Promotion
No, not another leaked Hoss sex tape, the RSPCA put an end to those, but the fact that our very own Green & Gold Rugby YouTube channel is back up and running. With new content added weekly and an extensive back catalogue better than that of the Beatles, you really should check it out. Now.
I said ‘now’.
Until next week. Go the …ahhh forget it.
Hoss – out.
