G’day, good morning, welcome, bienvenue & Здравствуйте to those with loved ones in the Ukraine.
It’s Friday again, so park all fact checking apps, suspend common sense and let’s go on a mystical rugby journey together. Today we look at Round #5 of SRP. Explore Darcy ‘Lurch’ Swain’s disdain for The Communists. Take a look at Wayne ‘Yoda’ Smith’s piece on the SMH and you get to play Wallaby selector again in ‘King for a Day‘. All that and round it off with the ‘Goss with Hoss’. According to Neilson Ratings, ‘Australia’s number #1 Friday Rugby Goss article’* (*that appears on a G&GR site on a Friday).
Round #5 SRP -who’s bound for glory this week.
It’s Round #5 time for SRP and with further Wuhan Wonder Bug interruptions to those rancid and impure across the waters, most of the action is found in Oz for this round. All teams, times and venues courtesy of those at Rugby Kremlin, rugby.com.au
Brumbies v Reds
Friday 18 March 7:45pm AEDT at GIO Stadium, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
BRING IT ON!
This game is worthy of a full article in its own right! Wallaby v Wallaby all across the paddock. Established test players v those yearning for their spot. A seemingly edgy and ‘angry’ Ponies team lying in wait for a composed and resolute Reds team, lead superbly around the paddock by one James O’Connor.
It really is hard to know where to look and just where the one side has a decisive ‘edge’ over the other. Wilson v Valetini, Lolesio v JOC, Paisami v Ikitau, Banks v Petaia, Campbell v Wright, Tupou v Slipper & Co, Eru (who has been SENSATIONAL this season) v Swain et al. Player for player, man for man they nearly cancel each other out, highlighted by their 2021 matches and ultimately the extra time win in the final at Suncorp.
The Ponies are at home, but the Reds will finally have a dry track and cooler conditions making for potentially the best Australian rugby derby of the past decade, and I have the bourbon (I purchased a bottle of ‘3 Hogs’ in anticipation) and the nibblies lined up and I can barely wait. For me it will be the Reds ‘unsung heroes’ who may just prove the difference, like Hamish Stewart, who surely must be thereabouts for a Wallaby squad berth this year.
Fearless Prediction: Without any conviction at all, Reds by 1 and the cameras to cut to Darcy Swain’s face as the full time whistle blows………
Fijian Drua v Western Force
Saturday 19 March 2:35pm AEDT at Leichhardt Oval, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
Ok I admit it. Watching the Tahs v Force last week was horrendous stuff. ‘Gritty, gutsy’ brave’ – yep, all those cliches flew about after the match, but let’s call it what it was, dross rugby and even as someone with a subliminal Tahs bias, it was the rugby equivalent of watching a slow-motion car crash, you didn’t really want to watch it, but you couldn’t look away either.
For all that though, one thing was clear the Force are in a similar position to the Rebels: they are exposed at 10. With a young man in Reesjan Pasitoa learning his craft and ‘MIA’ last week (anyone else want to crowd fund to cut that thing off the back of his head?) and a back-up in Jake McIntyre who is steady for sure, but can he unleash enough attack outside of him to beat the Drua, hmmmmm…….
The Drua’s improvement has been exponential so far in SRP. If they can get parity, at worst, on their own set piece ball they will be hard to stop. ‘Parity’ will be no mean feat though with a strong Force front row AND with Izaac Rodda enjoying imperious form at the line-out. But secure their own ball, then we all know what the Drua can do with ball in hand. And nobody and I mean NOBODY plays like the Drua when they have their tails up.
Fearless Prediction: It’s a Saturday afternoon game, dry track and I reckon a big Fijian crowd to turn up, I just can’t go past the Drua for this one. The Force looked flat and out of sorts last week and let an undermanned and off-kilter Tahs still win. Fiji by 14. Vinaka!
Moana Pasifika v Chiefs
Saturday 19 March 5:05pm AEDT at Mt Smart Stadium, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport
You simply have to feel for Moana Pasifika dontcha!
For all the bromance and goodwill around the Drua side, the poor old MP team simply cannot cop a break and get into any sort of rugby rhythm, patterns of play, combinations or match fitness. With round #5 upon us the Moana Pasifika lads are running out for only their second SRP outing. Even this match is a hastily cobbled together fixture against the Chiefs. The disruption to the scheduled round #5 Kiwi conference is a problem largely of their own making, due to a combination of player & management stupidity (not wearing masks on a plane) and the ongoing Chinese pestilence circulating in the NZ squads.
stuff.co.nz also reports the Chiefs are without a number of fair players also due to COVID implications and will be without All Blacks Sam Cane, Anton Lienert-Brown, Samisoni Taukei’aho, Angus Ta’avao and Josh Lord.
Fearless Predicition: Disruptions a plenty, player depth challenged and an MP side keen to lay a marker? I am actually on the MP team for this one and celebrations all over the PIs on Saturday night as their teams go ‘bang-bang’. Moana Pasifika by 9
Waratahs v Rebels
Saturday 19 March 7:45pm AEDT at Sydney Cricket Ground, ad-free, live and on demand on Stan Sport and Nine Network
Rounding out an abridged SRP#5 are God’s rugby chosen ones v the Rebels. With news during the week that in form & inspirational skipper Jake ‘Commissioner’ Gordon most likely out for 2-4 weeks with a hammy injury and Michael Hooper still likely two weeks away this game could cause some angst for Tahs fans. But NOT this Tahs fan!
Dave Porecki returns to the #2 role which is just in time. For all Tom Horton offers he seemingly couldn’t hit the side of a bus with his line-out throws, unless of course he was aiming for a boat, if so he’d hit said bus every time. The form of Jed Holloway has been sensational, the Tahs piggies matching it with the best (the form of Angus ‘The Bull’ Bell has been superb and must be keeping Jimmy Slips on his toes – so we all win). Young Harris at 8 has come of age and the centres of Perese & Foketi are a terrific combination, as too the ‘dual play-makers’ of right footed kick, Ben Donaldson at 10 & left footed kick (and sensational goal kicker) Will Harrison at #15.
As for the Rebels? Well, they can’t play as bad for as long, can they? For mine, for the Rebs to have any chance Carter Gordon has to start at #10. He plays flatter at the line, has a terrific passing game and ‘squares up’ the defence and not afraid to run the ball himself. However, he is not starting at #10 this week in what seems a ‘rusted on’ decision by first year (and possibly last) rookie Rebels coach Kevin Foote.
Fearless Prediction: Tahs by 17.
Shaduppya Face
‘What’s-a matter Reds? Hey! Gotta no respect?
What-a you t’ink you do, why you look-a so glad?
It’s-a gonna be bad, ya comin to our place
I shaddap-a you face!’
I get losing is annoying, FFS I am a Tahs fan who endured 2016-2021. It totally sucks. And while I admire Darcy Swain’s candour and frankness about being annoyed at the yapping from those from the Queensland People’s Republic of Queensland (QPQR) following their ultimate championship win last year, the last thing I personally would be doing, is letting them know it annoys me, you’re on a hiding to nothing.
rugby.com.au quoted Lurch earlier this week…..
“They carried on a bit, I thought,” Swain said to reporters on Monday. “I just want to go out there and shut them up this weekend.”
“…It’s been sitting in the back of everyone’s minds, that sort of bitterness of last year and the way it ended.
Now, call me simpull, but if I were suffering from the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, I wouldn’t necessarily let those who inflicted said arrows know it hurt. Is it just me, or is Lurch simply inviting the application of copious handfuls off salt into that gaping wound, by those very same ‘yappy’ players who inflicted the wounds to begin with!
My tip Darcy? There may be a fair bit of ‘chat’ coming your way on Friday night mate & you had better hope your team gets up. Or maybe distract & confuse them with a White Goodman retort……‘yeah, well don’t go crying to ya daddy when I wipe it up with your face’. Me however, would always prefer to ‘speak softly, but carry a big stick’
Take it away Joe Dolce ………
What cheeses Yoda off?
Multiple ‘cheeses’, that’s what.
The doyen of Rugby scribes, Mr Wayne ‘Yoda’ Smith of SMH fame again produces a compelling read with PI overtones coupled with the need for a rule overall, future possible legal ramifications and observations from a former Wallaby great thrown in for good measure.
Watching last week’s 60 minute 40 minute first half I too was left wondering at what has happenned to our once noble game? How ever is ‘shoulder on shoulder’ contact between playes ever more dangerous than two props driving you head-first towards the ground? Interesting insights from Andrew Slack as well.
Thought provoking read and I look forward to feedback from the common people (you lot) in the comments section later today.
just any Tah will do, that’s alright…..’
King for a Day!
OK, I acknowledge our Oz sides are yet to play the COVID-carriers across the dutch, so a ‘true’ form line is perhaps still a little ‘fuzzy’. BUT, based on the four rounds so far and with Round #5 performances still to come, who would make your 2022 Wallaby squad of #30?
Well, you get to choose your Wallaby 30 via the link below. The player ‘pool’ is based on each SRP squad at the start of the year. Now before the mentally abused shut-ins among you (you know who you are -Yowie), point out some players have left the squads, some are not eligible, yes, I know. I just simply couldn’t be bothered purifying the data, so suck it up princesses.
The selection criteria is:
- 5 Props
- 3 Hookers
- 4 Locks
- 5 Back-rowers
- 3 Half backs
- 2 Five eights
- 8 Outside backs
You can make your selections here. I am assured by the Nigerian who set up the site that it is mostly secure and that all credit card details will be treated confidentially. Share with your rugby mates and I will publish the results of the official G&GR 2022 Wallaby #30 in next week’s Friday Rugby News. Happy voting.
The Goss’ with Hoss.
Queenslanders sneak in with the humans
Ian Payten of SMH fame reports the son of Wallaby Test Captain & Queensland Reds legend, David Wilson is set to make his Tahs debut off the pine this Saturday. Wilson Snr realised the error of his ways 18 years ago and moved to NSW will see his 19 yo son, Teddy, suit up in blue this weekend. The article also reports that Wilson’s other son, the Hulking 190cm & 95kg ‘Harry Wilson’ – no not that Harry Wilson, another bloody one (is the Queensland boys’ name book only one page long?) is not far away from a blue jersey either.
Ref makes good point, pigs sighted flocking west.
Stick with me here, but stuff.co.nz (really good read) reports AB number #24 Ben O’Keeffe, has made a few really telling and insightful observations. This despite being technically blind in both eyes and possibly having cousins as parents (as most refs do). Comparing ruck speed for SRP v 2022 NH tests he noted thus:
‘“I think you’ve seen in the first few rounds of Super Rugby this year, they are slow,”
“6 Nations, when I reffed it last year, it was slow, this year it is fast. I think it is no surprise that we saw Ireland and France play like they did in November.”
Where’s the next world cup held again……
As close as a POM gets to ‘paradise’
While across the dutch stuff.co.nz also reports SANZAR and Sky agreeing to terms for increased coverage of SH rugger. More eyeballs = more PI interest, more PI interest =$$$$$$$
Nearlys too old to win
There’s two things I hate about Kiwis.
- When they occasionally beat us at Rugby &
- When they’re right
But in this case though, if Kiwi journo Mark Reason is right, then number one above should also be wrong, shouldn’t it? Again a good read with stuff.co.nz on the ageing AB squad for the 23 RWC. A point well made in an article on these pages last year, on a Friday too I believe…….
Super W Round #3
Round 3 of Super W kicks off on Friday night with all fixtures as a ‘double header’ to the SRP. Times and fixtures courtesy rugby.com.au
Until next week – fuck you Putin & go the Tahs.
Hoss – out.
