DI PATSTON EXCLUSIVE: The spider’s story

Not satisfied with the paltry 9 days of smear investigation undertaken by the Sydney Morning Herald into Di Patston, Green and Gold Rugby has gone a step further and managed an exclusive interview with the player at the centre of their latest explosive allegations – that Di Patston was indeed once bitten by a spider.

We found the spider (now retired) at the very same Sunshine Coast cafe where the incident took place in 2003. Asked about what took place, the spider said,

“Well, she came into the cafe like she owned the joint. Y’know, walking around, moving chairs and stuff. I’d had a few – nothing serious like – so when she got over closer to me and the boys, I bit the bitch –  er – lady.”

When asked if this was a proportionate response, the spider replied

“She micro-managed me”.

Despite being repeatedly contacted by Mrs Patston, G&GR decided instead to talk to a number of senior spiders, who surprisingly backed up their colleague’s statement.

“He’s our mate” they all said.

The investigation continues.