Author: Off White Card

The Brumbies start pre-season training next week and the Off White Card has gained exclusive access to some top-secret parts of the program for 2013. Howzit boets. I trust that you all had lekker holidays but it’s now time to get down to business. We have some new okes on board this year that I want you to meet and to make things easier for them we are going to have some changes. We shall be starting off each day with a braai in the carpark listening to ‘Africa’ by Toto, which I expect you all to know the words come the…

We intercepted the following telex from South Africa

The Off White Card was fortunate enough to be given a copy of the letter the ARU have sent to Quade regarding his social media outbursts. Dear Quade RE: Your comments in social media Firstly, thank you for letting us know you were unhappy last week. As you know we are always looking for feedback, and we welcome constructive criticism. I have released a public statement to let everyone know that I won’t be making any public statements. After this one. At this stage. Here it is in full: STATEMENT FROM AUSTRALIAN RUGBY UNION REGARDING QUADE COOPER Australian Rugby Union…

Who’s had the best facial fuzz in Super Rugby 2012? Rank em and tell us. Let us know if we’ve missed any goodies from this years comp. Super Rugby Beards 2012

Guaranteed to have you in tears (for a number of reasons) throughout the whole nine minutes. [youtube id=”6MHRR0PlBOU” width=”600″ height=”350″]

You’ve had a good rank, and according to you the undisputed most twattable man in world rugby is… Chris Ashton! Is it the showboating, the harassing of hotel maids, or just that face? Whatever it is, he’s Top of the Bops. As a reward, here’s a little clip you might wanna watch a few times over… (from about 2:48) [youtube id=”mYUqAM9nrMg?t=2m48s” width=”600″ height=”350″] Most Punchable Current Rugby Players

It’s a compliment to them that they get under people’s skins so much, but how would you rank the following players in terms of who most deserves a slap? (Assuming for one second you had the ability, balls or insanity to do so.) This exercise is a tribute to Jimmy Cowan, on the occasion of his retirement from meaningful rugby (i.e. he’s moving to the UK). Most Punchable Current Rugby Players

The latest from Waratah HQ. Any more KPIs? Are there any other KPIs that we’ve missed? Please let us know in the comments below.

And this sent to us from @spoulter777

Confused at the proliferation of spurious roles and titles among Australia’s Super Franchises and National coaching setup? You’re not alone! The flip charts must be running empty with the frenzied pace that new structures have been proliferating lately, so at G&GR we thought we’d help out with this one stop guide to Australian Rugby Structure. Just 10,000 man hours and a small fortune in McKinsey fees and BEHOLD: Just keep this as a screensaver on your tablet and you’ll never be confused again. See any roles we’ve obviously left out? Stick em in he comments below and we’ll incorporate the…

Still smarting from the World Cup financial losses, G&GR can reveal that the ARU has decided to open a new revenue stream. G&GR has managed to get hold of an exclusive look at the ad storyboard for this new product – COLD HARD CHARD. Set to the tune of the classic VB advertisement…

Off-White Card brings you a weekly scandal sheet full of gossip, half-truths, mixed metaphors and innuendo. Follow @offwhitecard on twitter and keep an eye out for updates. If there’s something in the rugby world you think needs to be exposed, let us know. Off-White Card is on your side! Jimmy Cowan To The Rescue It appears as though Administrators appointed to liquidate The Otago Rugby Union may have found a way for the club to move forward financially. While the plan is still in its infancy and details are sketchy, OWC understands it involves the setting up of a ‘punching-booth’ where…

Off-White Card brings you a weekly scandal sheet full of gossip, half-truths, mixed metaphors and innuendo. Follow @offwhitecard on twitter and keep an eye out for updates. If there’s something in the rugby world you think needs to be exposed, let us know. Off-White Card is on your side! What’s Cooking at Balmain, Monsuier It appears as though the Balmain rugby club has pulled out all the stops in an effort to keep Sebastien Chabal by re-vamping the food on offer at the club canteen. For example, no longer will the club serve sausage in bread or bacon and egg rolls.…