Off-White Card brings you a weekly scandal sheet full of gossip, half-truths, mixed metaphors and innuendo. Follow @offwhitecard on twitter and keep an eye out for updates. If there’s something in the rugby world you think needs to be exposed, let us know. Off-White Card is on your side!
What’s Cooking at Balmain, Monsuier
It appears as though the Balmain rugby club has pulled out all the stops in an effort to keep Sebastien Chabal by re-vamping the food on offer at the club canteen.
For example, no longer will the club serve sausage in bread or bacon and egg rolls. Now hungry clubmen and supporters are being offered ‘le saucissons dans le pain’ and ‘le bacon et l’oeuf roulent’, instead of the old favourites.
Club stalwart, Pierre, was adamant the changes could swing the balance in retaining the services of Le Caveman.
“It’s about us showing we’re a cosmopolitan outfit who aren’t afraid to try something different. “
The NSWRU is believed to be supportive of the idea however it has expressed concerns the menu didn’t appear to be any vegetarian or ‘heart-tick’ approved options.
Higgers Targeted in Cross-Code Switch
There are conflicting reports that flashy Reds flanker, Scott Higginbothan, is being targeted in an audacious bid to lure him to Soccer, the game he played as a teenager.
However it’s not the flanker’s athletic ability or impressive kicking skills that has the Soccer world abuzz, it seems the reason for the interest stems from Higgers’ acting skills.
A source close to National Soccer coach, Holger Osieck, has confirmed that Higgers is on Soccer’s radar.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kPmBXu599dg[/youtube]
“We learnt a harsh lesson against the Italians in the quarter final at the ’06 Soccer World Cup, so since then we’ve been on the look-out for people who can kick a ball and act.
“After watching the Tahs vs Reds game, Scott certainly has both those skills so we’d be silly not to sound him out.”
Although The Reds have not commented publically on the approach, behind the scenes it’s understood that like all great actors, Higginbotham has requested his own private dressing room for this weekends game against the Western Force.
Richard Graham – Private Detective
Unsuspecting Fox Rugby reporter, Sean Maloney, is seething after being the victim of the most heinous of office crimes, a random lunch theft.
Maloney, who took to twitter to express his disgust, may soon have closure to the ordeal with Western Force coach and budding Private Detective, Richard Graham, offering his service to track down the well–fed felon.
Sources believe that Graham’s experience gained while exposing pre-season ‘tea-leaf’, Willie Ripia, could be just what’s needed to crack the case.
A spokesperson for News Ltd told OWC that this case was more than just a missing ham and cheese sanga.
“Theft can’t be tolerated in any organisation. Sure, it might only be a sandwich, but we’re keen to nip it in the bud.
“At first we thought about phone-taps as a way to catch to offender but having Richard on board is the way to go.”
Said Graham of the appointment, “Every thief starts somewhere and in Willie’s case, we tracked it back to a left-over Massaman curry that Sharpie had brought in for lunch one day. Make no mistake, I’m keeping an open mind about this one and I will find the perpetrator.”
Consumers Beware
While on the subject of Fox Rugby, it appears that some of the commentary from the Tahs v Reds game has come under the gaze of the Australian Consumer and Competition Commission.
The controversy surrounds some misleading and deceptive statements made by members of the commentary team.
While yet to confirm an official investigation will begin, it seems there is prima-facie evidence that consumer laws have been broken.
Speaking on the condition of anonymity, an ACCC investigator confirmed several statements like “They’re a mile offside!”, “Now that’s clearly a penalty!”.” and “There’s no way that was forward!” go way beyond what consumers could reasonably expect as being fair, honest and balanced.
“We’re always on the look-out for cartels who don’t act in the public interest and it seems like we might be onto something here. Commentary is largely un-regulated so we just want to make sure the public is being protected from these false and misleading representations.” the investigator said.
