Regular twitter watchers (or twatchers, for those who don’t think that sounds a little too frisky for them…) will have noticed the recent medical themes of many of our favourite tweeters. As someone who grew up in and around hospitals, I know it can be an unfamiliar and scary place for many who grew up, well, in an environment where sputum and bowel movements of anonymous and nameless strangers weren’t discussed over the dinner table.
Epidemiology
These behind-the-scenes workers look at disease and injury clusters and try to determine any common elements that might be causative (As a hypothetical example: if Player A is with Player B when Player B gets drunk and abuses people on twitter; then Player C does the same thing and Player A is there again, but Player B isn’t……)
The Emergency Department
This is where people go first when they’ve just broken theirankles (@CLealiifano).
Or if they get their nuts shot off (@kmanlongbottom).
While there, they may be lucky to get treated by resident surgeon David Pocock (not recent photos, but they are hilarious)
Orthopaedics
Here is where Christian would’ve been sent to once he was as high as a kite on as many drugs as it takes to down a horse. This is where stuff gets re-set, pins inserted, and the process of turning from Jedi Knight to Sith Lord begins.
Gastroenterology
This is a weird unit full of people trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with your guts that makes you not feel full after a full chicken and a salad, or that makes you eat so much ice cream you get caught climbing out of empty Cold Rock Ice Cream vans…
Dr Quade Cooper has been able to help so many of his twitter followers learn what’s normal, what’s not, and what’s acceptable defecation behaviour.
Dermatology
Where disgusting abcesses get sucked out (and recorded by mates) and you’re left with this…
Hey Kieran – if you post the video, we’ll put it in next week’s post! And get well soon – our thoughts are with you!
The Melbourne Rebels Rehab wing
Regular readers of the Social Pages will remember Kurtley Beale’s relaxation exercises that he performed in what many of us thought was a drinking establishment. I’m not afraid to admit I was wrong, because just as KB wasn’t drunk, just “relaxed” our lovable rogue Lipdogg WASN’T DRINKING in a similar establishment.
The answer? It’s a wing of Rebels HQ where guys can kick back, stick VB coasters all over themselves, “plank” (or occasionally something that rhymes with plank), dress in G-strings and RELAX in a non-alcoholic PG environment.
Now who here wants to NOT drink with the Rebels? How fun do they make sobriety look?!
Quick visit past Paediatrics to see these CUTE little kids….
And Occupational Therapy where this air hostess has been getting help…
And we’re out the door to play…
Unterview Bungo
This week on Unterview Bungo we have a bit of a treat. We’re going unternational – Kieran Read. He might be unfamiliar with the concept, but I’m sure that if he is successful we could get a member of the Rebel Army to present him with a laminated Green and Gold Rugby Certificate on Saturday when they play the Rebels in Melbourne, to mark his achievement. Good luck Bug Fulla.
