The Melbourne Rebels threatened the ARU with legal action to get their own way by forcing the ‘announced’ recruitment window forward from 1 June to 15 March.
Here we are rolling into April Fool’s Day and what have they got to show for their efforts? Like the over-promising politicians we all know they’ve actually got diddly squat!
Their marquee signing and proposed captain is Stirling Mortlock. April Fool! Wonderful player that he was (and bloke that he is), he’s now past his best and on the decline.
In fact, if you look at recent seasons he’ll be hard pressed to even spend 30% of next season on the f*ckin’ park. I hate saying this about the guy but you’ve got to face up to reality.
I can’t believe that the ARU have provided some sort of top-up to retain him within Wallaby ranks. It may (or may not) be only for one season as cover, but I suppose that it shows there’s a lack of competition for the spot, apart from Diggers Ioane who’s a shoo-in if he remains injury free.
It may be that the Rebels are grooming Stirling for a formal coaching role down the track. That’ll be good but they have to be competitive from Day 1, and it’s odds-on they won’t be.
The Western Force made a mistake in courting Andre Pretorius because he spent a very considerable part of his career on the sideline with dodgy knees and hammies. They’re paying the price for that now.
The Rebels are going down the same track by courting Morty and Daniel Heenan. Heenan is the Andre Pretorius of Australian rugby.
A very talented lock/flanker utility, with a similar story to tell to Madness McMeniman, he played two tests in his Wallaby career (2003 v Wales, 2006 v England) but was cruelled by shoulder and knee injuries during the Super 14.
He departed for Japan in 2007 where he was injured again but in the past few seasons has performed well for the Sanyo Wild Knights, albeit in a 2nd tier competition.
Now there’s talk of an ARU top up for him, in addition to the probable one year charitable donation for Mortlock. Surely with Sharpe, Simmons, Van the Man, Douglas, Mumm, Caldwell, Chizz etc we’re not in such desperate straits?
Regarding the Melbourne Rebels recruitment to date, it doesn’t seem as though too many quality players are that interested in heading south to a franchise that in all likelihood will be cellar dwellers in 2011.
Who have they recruited apart from Stirling? F*ck-all by the look of it. Red’s lock Adam Byrnes – journeyman 2nd rower with a short fuse who is more often than not a liability.
He may have played with Leinster once but until this season he’s been a bit part player with Queensland, rejected by Link in the first instance when he was with NSW and not someone you can rely on to stay on the park.
Gareth Delve. Welsh international No. 8 who will be challenged by the pace of the game in this competition. He’s not the No. 1 Welsh international No. 8, that’s Ryan Jones. He’s not the No. 2 Welsh international No. 8 that’s Andy Powell.
I guess he’s No. 3 and has he come to Australia because Warren Gatland may have told him he may not be in the current frame for the RWC next year?
Danny Cipriani. The best thing he’s got going for him is his girlfriend, model Kelly Brook. Unfortunately they’re the rugby equivalent of Posh and Becks and I can see the ravenous Australian media going ape about them.
I hope he comes here and plays the house down but he’s reportedly not a team player and aggravates team relationships, so the chances of him adapting to Australian rugby conditions might not be that great.
Notwithstanding his seven England caps, one would expect an accomplished five eighths or fullback but he may take some time to adapt to the way we play our game. Maybe he should ask Andy Goode?
Richard Kingi. A promising Queensland Red and Wallaby tourist, there are doubts he may even be the starting No. 9 if rumours about Sam Cordingly (French Pro D2) are true.
Tim Davidson. A Sydney Uni No. 8 and probable backup to Delve . He’s previously had his chance with the Waratahs but didn’t measure up. Now he’s off to Melbourne with his mate, assistant coach Damien Hill. A Super 15 quality bench player?
Laurie Weeks. The best signing of the lot so far. ‘Chubby Cheeks’ is a Wallaby tighthead in waiting. Another Sydney Uni product, he’s foolishly signed with the Rebels right at the juncture when the Reds Super 14/15 squad are on the cusp of something special, just prior to the Rugby World Cup.
He ‘coulda been a contender’. Unfortunately, he’s made his bed and when he’s spending next season at the bottom of the table it’ll be too late to do anything about it.
Lachlan Mitchell. Another young Sydney Uni product who ventured overseas and ended up playing a few senior games for Wasps in the Guinness Premiership. Definitely a prospect if he had a decent squad around him.
Frankly, I’m underwhelmed by what the Rebels have publicly produced to date. Compared to what the Force had organised in 2005, it’s no real comparison.
So far it’s all hat and no cowboy. Let’s hope, for the good of Australian rugby, that at the end of the day they’ll be more competitive than what they’ve shown to date.
