G’day G&GRs. Well, that is going to be a game that is talked about for decades. Of that there is little doubt! All the drama, all the magic, all the brutality. Just a proper Ding Dong Battle. And that was just what was on the GAGR crapparatzi! Let alone the test. But lets have a look at it, as well as the Wallaroos game.
So prepare yourself for another bumper edition, Brisney style. Pour a large cup of the good stuff☕, and let’s talk rugger, the game they play in heaven.
British and Irish Lions 29 defeated Wallabies 26
First things first — if you haven’t already, go read Sully’s excellent match review here. Not only is it spot on, but it was posted in record time, which for GAGR is like breaking the 100m in under 8 seconds.
Now, I’m not going to dissect every ruck and maul like a disillusioned TMO looking for purpose. Instead, we’ll cover the big-ticket items Brisney-style. Strap in.
That Penalty
Yep, that one. Let’s get it out of the way. Was it a penalty? All day. Every day. Twice on Sundays. But was it what lost us the match? Not a bloody chance. Being up 23-5 after 35 minutes and letting the Lions run you down like a drunk uncle in a sack race — that’s what lost us the game.
Now look, I’ve seen lesser offences get a 🧀and bigger ones let slide, but in the cold light of replay, it was a pen. I’d love to hear what KARL thinks, or even better, see what version of World Rugby roulette they spin up this week.
The Other Try
Yes, I’m talking about Sheehan’s hurdling effort. Looked more like a steeplechase than a Test match. But being the rugby nerd I secretly am, I did some digging (yes, yes, I know, very un-BL of me).
Turns out World Rugby actually issued a clarification back in 2022 after Pita Gus Sowakula tried the same trick. The TL;DR version? Jumping over tacklers is technically illegal under Laws 9.11 and 9.17 — dangerous play, yada yada — unless you’re diving forward to score. Not hurdling like you’re at the Olympics.
But guess what? Rather than lay down a firm ruling, World Rugby did what they do best — sat on the fence, issued some legalese, and left it to the “match officials’ discretion.” Or as we call it: Referumps playing favourites again. So yeah, it probably shouldn’t have stood. But it did. Because, well… reasons.
The Bench
Oh boy, where to start. The bench hurt us more than a flat white made with Decaf and almond milk.
Once Bobby V hobbled off and Skelton ran out of gas like an old diesel Hilux, we lost all forward punch. Dirty Harry was suddenly a marked man, and Gleeson didn’t exactly bring the thunder. The scrum? First half solid. Second half? Straight to 💩.
No go-forward, no scrum, no win. Simple.
Selections
Yep, it’s that conversation again. Now I get the need for a 6-2 split if you want to bash the Poms into submission, but that risk blew up in our face faster than a Macca’s sundae machine. Potter doing a hammy at 21 minutes meant we had ‘Tate the Great’ playing wing — and credit to him, he held his own. But it forced everyone else into a 80-minute grind, and that’s a big ask against a Lions pack made of granite.
Also, our centres combo was clunkier than a second-hand Commodore. JAS is not a 13, and Ikitau’s not a 12. End of story. Swap in Hunter at 12, Ikitau back at 13, and maybe we’re not arguing about it in the pub. Joe’s selections? Hindsight is 20/20, but nah — didn’t nail it. Will he change it for Game Three? You’d hope so. Otherwise, the only thing we’ll be winning is a frequent flyer program to rock bottom.
The Positive (yes, really)
Despite the collective hair-tearing and beer-flinging that followed the game, I’ve got to admit — there’s some upside. No one in the Northern Hemisphere gave us a snowball’s chance. And yet, we pushed a side made up of the best of four nations right to the death. We should have won. Twelve months ago, we would’ve lost by 30.
This team is building. It’s ugly, it’s inconsistent, but there’s a foundation. We’re the sixth-ranked team in the world, playing a niche sport in a crowded market, and we still made the Lions sweat. Not bad for a country that treats rugby like a backyard hobby.
Looking to Game Three
Now that we know the rules are made up and the laws don’t matter, let’s cut loose in the third test. No-arm tackles? Sure. Diving over blokes? Go for it. Cleanouts to the head? Why not. And when the ref blows the whistle, we just say: “Oi mate, that was sweet last week — you can’t change the rules now!”
So gear up folks. The Wallabies might be battered and bruised, but they’re still swinging. And in true Aussie fashion, we’re not done yet.
Wales 21 defeated Wallaroos 12
Wallaroos Weathered and Whacked by Welsh in Wet Ballymore Bungle – Well, what started with promise ended in puddles and pain as the Wallaroos slipped, spluttered and stuttered their way to a 21–12 loss to a fired-up Welsh outfit at a soggy Ballymore. The game had more stop-starts than a learner driver in peak-hour traffic and left the Aussies wondering what could’ve been after mother nature and their own handling did them dirty.
The Wallaroos came out of the sheds with more fire than a pub parma on trivia night. Tabua Tuinakauvadra looked like she’d crossed in the third minute before the TMO threw a wet blanket on the celebrations, calling it back for an obstruction. Moments later, Ash Marsters had the line in sight, only to fumble it like a tradie dropping a meat pie on smoko.
Eventually, lock Annabelle Codey bashed her way over and got the Aussies on the board, giving the crowd something to cheer about—until the heavens opened and the lightning cracked like a Bledisloe heartbreak flashback. A 30-minute weather delay sucked the life and the momentum out of the hosts, and when play resumed, it was all Cymru from there.
The Welsh, loving the soup-like conditions, flipped the script. Fullback Nel Metcalfe sliced through twice as the Aussies slipped off tackles like they were on roller skates. The Wallaroos clawed one back right on the stroke of oranges, with Tuinakauvadra getting her try this time to bring it back to 14-12, but that was as close as they got.
Wales wasted no time in the second half, with Lleucu George threading a grubber that was picked up slicker than a politician’s promise by Hannah Dallavalle for a quick-fire response. From there, the Wallaroos had more ball than a golden retriever on Red Bull but couldn’t convert it into points. Between knock-ons, ruck penalties, and Welsh turnover queen Alex Callender popping up everywhere like a bad penny, the hosts just couldn’t find the finishing touch.
The set-piece was one of the few bright spots, with the scrum holding firm like a Queenslander during State of Origin week. But territory and possession count for nowt if you can’t hold the ball, and the Wallaroos coughed it up at all the wrong times. The final minutes were all Aussie attack, but Wales held on to break their 818-day away win drought and leave the Wallaroos soaked, sorry and searching for answers.
Three Things We Learned
1. Weatherproofing Required – The Wallaroos looked slick early but went to pieces in the wet. Between knock-ons, loose passes, and a general case of the butterfingers, the conditions clearly favoured the visitors. If we’re serious about climbing the world rankings, we need to adapt better to a bit of drizzle.1.
2. Scrum Strong, Breakdown Broken – The Aussie pack held their own at scrum time—one of the few constants in an otherwise chaotic performance. But at the breakdown, it was a different story. Wales bossed it, winning key turnovers and stifling momentum. Alex Callender was a menace, and the Wallaroos had no answer.
3. Execution Over Enthusiasm – You can have all the territory and intent in the world, but if you can’t execute under pressure, it counts for nothing. The Wallaroos had their chances but turned the ball over at crucial moments. A bit more polish and composure could’ve flipped the script—but as it stands, it’s back to the drawing board.
Anyway GAGRs, enough of this old man gibbering poo! Have at it!
