G’day G&GRs. After years of waiting it has finally arrived, the British & Irish Lions are here. That once in 12 year event, where the Old Mother Countries send their best players to the country where they wished they lived instead of sending their convicts to it. The speculation is over, so let the games begin.
We’ll dive into the first game and have a bit of a gander at the Springboks v BaaBaas game, Brisney style. Pour a large cup of the good stuff☕, and let’s talk about the game they play in heaven.
BILs 54 defeated Western Force 7
Lions roar in the west as Force feel the full brunt of the red tide Well bugger me, the Lions have landed, and didn’t they make a statement in the west! If you haven’t done so I highly recommend reading Sully’s excellent game review here.
In front of a heaving crowd of 46,656 punters at Optus Stadium, the British & Irish Lions flicked the switch from scenic tourists to full-blown savages, steamrolling the Western Force 54-7 in a dazzling display of firepower, flair and full-pelt footy. If this was meant to be a gentle opener to ease the tourists into the Aussie conditions, someone forgot to send the memo to Finn Russell and co. The lads from up north put the pedal through the floor in the second stanza and left the Force spinning their wheels in a red mist.
Opening salvo and early hope The Lions were on song from the get-go, wasting no time as hooker Dan Sheehan dotted down within 90 seconds off the back of a pearler of a kick from Russell and some silky interchanges with James Lowe. It was champagne stuff. To their credit, the Force weren’t just going to roll over. Dylan Pietsch—who was deadset trying to earn himself a gold jersey right then and there—sparked the home side into life. After he nicked back a lineout like he was pinching beers from an esky, Nic White burrowed over from close range to even the ledger at 7-all. For a moment, the sea of blue believed.
Pollock, Russell and the northern lights show But that belief was snuffed out quicker than a Bledisloe comeback. Young English tyro Henry Pollock lit it up like a New Year’s sparkler with a cracking break and deft hands to set up Tomos Williams. That combo would haunt the Force again as the Lions started running riot. Then it was the Finn Russell show: the Scottish wizard saw a sleepy Force defence and went full Houdini, carving them up and dishing to Elliot Daly for another meat pie. The Lions had well and truly found their groove.
Even Pollock’s trip to the naughty chair for repeated infringements couldn’t halt the red tide. Instead, it kicked them into fifth gear. Lowe went full jet mode from his own 22, linked with Williams again, and the scrumhalf bagged a brace—though he paid for it with a hammy tweak. The Lions kept piling it on with Mack Hansen slicing through before Garry Ringrose added his name to the try-scorers’ list.
Putting the boot In (literally) With the result in the bag, the Lions still weren’t done. Pollock turned magician once more, chipping ahead, regathering and putting MotM Joe McCarthy in for a barnstorming try that had the crowd half stunned, half applauding in disbelief. And just to rub a little salt in the Force wounds, Marcus Smith and Daly combined to tee up Alex Mitchell after the hooter, sealing the 54-point statement.
The Wrap The Force didn’t lack effort, far from it. Pietsch was on fire and Nic White had a crack. But the Lions were simply on another planet. Precision, pace, power, and that scary ability to flick the switch at will. With that kind of showing the rest of the Aussie teams (and Wallabies selectors) had better sit up and pay attention, the red tide has just rolled in.
Three things we learned
- Henry Pollock is a proper freak – At just 20, the Pommy flanker looked like he’d been playing Test footy for a decade. Try assists, line breaks, a yellow card for being too involved—he was everywhere. England have found themselves a new weapon.
- Finn Russell is born to entertain – Every time the Force blinked, Russell was threading a kick, skipping through a gap or laying on a try. Love him or hate him, he’s box office.
- Pietsch deserves a gold jersey shot – In a game where his side got buried, Dylan Pietsch stood out like a beacon. Won turnovers, created chances and looked up for the fight. If Wallabies jerseys are up for grabs, he just staked a very loud claim.
Reckon the Lions won’t lose too much sleep heading into their next clash. And if this was their warm-up Lord help whomever’s next.
Springboks 54 defeated The Barbarians 7
Boerewors blitz! Springboks thump BaaBaas in Cape Town cakewalk – Well cobbers, put the brandy on ice and fire up the boerewors – the Boks are back, and they’ve come out of hibernation with the subtlety of a bakkie doing donuts on a golf course. In a soggy and chilly Cape Town, the world champion Springboks kicked off their 14-match season by absolutely torching a Barbarians side that might as well have been made of papier-mâché, cruising to a 54-7 win in what was technically an exhibition but clearly treated as a Test by Rassie and the lads.
The breakdown – On debut, young flanker Vincent Tshituka announced himself like a cannon blast in the Karoo, bagging a double and looking right at home in the Bok jersey. It was all one-way traffic really – Malcolm Marx set the tone early with a pushover try, Cheslin Kolbe showed he’s still got dancing feet sharper than a Kloof butcher’s blade, and Lood de Jager returned from the rugby wilderness like some kind of resurrected lineout messiah.
By oranges, it was 19-zip, and from there, it only got uglier for the men in black and white. The Barbarians tried to throw it around – as is their tradition – but the Boks weren’t having a bar of it. Structured, disciplined and downright clinical, the home side looked more like they were gearing up for a World Cup knockout, not a non-cap fun day. Manie Libbok came on and kicked everything like it was a backyard braai competition, nailing five from five off the tee in the second stanza. Meanwhile, the BaaBaas were trying to avoid frostbite and Bok forwards in equal measure.
The only moment of joy for the visitors came when Melvyn Jaminet crossed for a solitary five-pointer, which he converted himself, giving the scoreline at least a hint of dignity. But let’s be real – it was the rugby equivalent of a sympathy laugh at an awkward wedding speech. Captain for the day Jesse Kriel stood in for Siya Kolisi, who pulled out with a neck niggle, but he needn’t have worried – this Bok machine was humming no matter who had the clipboard or the armband.
Oh, and just to rub it in, Rassie made it clear pre-match that they were treating this like a real Test. The scoreboard confirmed it.
Three things we learned
- Tshituka is the real deal – The debutant was everywhere, bruising in contact, tireless at the breakdown and ran clever lines for both his tries. You don’t just walk into a Bok back row and make a statement like that unless you’ve got something special.
- Rassie’s mob mean business – No exhibition match vibes here, the Boks were clinical, set-piece sharp and gave nothing away. With Italy up next and 13 more matches to come, this was a warning shot across the bow for anyone thinking South Africa might take a backward step post-World Cup.
- The Barbarians need a rebuild – Look, everyone loves the Barbarians for their flair and free-flowing footy. But they were absolutely monstered up front and offered little in return bar one tidy try. Maybe time for a rethink in selection – or at least more than one training run before kickoff?
Up next: the Boks take on Italy at Loftus on 5 July. Expect the altitude to be high, the physicality higher, and probably the scoreboard too. Strap in.
Anyway chaps and chappettes, this old fart had better get back to pretending to do some work. Over to you G&GRs! Have at it.
