G’day G&GRs. What a final round of Super Rugby Pacific 2025, and what a year of rugby it’s been. I don’t know about you G&GRs, but that’s the best year of Super Rugby since 2011, just a cracking season, full of unpredictable results with great, fast paced, try scoring rugby.
So let’s dive into the SRP with a game-by-game review, Brisney style. Pour a large cup of the good stuff☕, and let’s talk about the game they play in heaven.
Super Rugby Pacific Round 16
Chiefs 41 defeated Highlanders 24
Chiefs pin the minor premiership – it’s raining tries in Dunedin – The Chiefs, those pesky Waikato battlers, have locked up the SRP minor premiership with an emphatic 41-24 win over a spirited but muddled Highlanders outfit under the roof at Forsyth Barr. The Crusaders and ACT Brumbies were sitting in their footy jammies watching on from their respective couches, hoping the Landers could do them a favour. But alas, the Chiefs came out like a pack of caffeinated cattle dogs and didn’t let the home side breathe till the scoreboard read 19-nil. Yup, 19. Nil. In Dunedin. Inside 15 minutes. Game over? Not quite, but pretty bloody close.
And would you believe it, Tupou Vaa’i, all two metres of lock forward excellence, decided he was a winger for the night and bagged a hat-trick. A lock! Scoring three! As a former lock, it bought tears to this old man’s eyes. Somewhere, Brodie Retallick’s eyebrows raised in cautious approval. It all kicked off with a cheeky chip in behind from the human Swiss Army knife that is Damian McKenzie. The ball sat up beautifully, hands like silk from the Chiefs, and bang—Samipeni Finau crossed after just five minutes. Queue the “uh-oh” alarm bells in Highlanders HQ.
Vaa’i then got his meat pie buffet underway with two tries faster than you can say “Foster’s Selection Policy,” and it looked like we were in for a cricket score. But credit where it’s due—the Highlanders finally woke up from their early snooze, and it took co-captain Ethan de Groot, all beer-and-steak power, to rumble over for their first. Then, just when the Zoo crowd started to remember how to cheer, Timoci Tavatavanawai lit up the stadium like a Highlander tax return—brief, complicated, and full of emotion. He danced, spun, and crashed his way over for a stunner, celebrating his re-signing like the cult hero he is.
Second half? More of the same. Chiefs weathered the 🧀 hiccup, reset, and then Xavier Roe darted down the blind for a classic sniping finish. The Highlanders were game, but every time they poked their nose in the Chiefs booted them back with McKenzie’s radar boot or another barnstorming effort—Manasa Mataele adding his name to the try-scorers’ list. The Highlanders did manage a feel-good moment with Sam Gilbert bagging a consolation try in his last hurrah for the club. But try as they might, the Landers just couldn’t avoid the dreaded wooden spoon, despite some frantic last-minute lunges, including one stopped cold by Cortez Ratima’s clutch cover tackle.
The Chiefs walked off deserved winners—and minor premiers—with the scoreboard, the highlights reel, and a shiny home final all in their back pocket.
BUT—there’s a sour note. Quinn Tupaea, one of the Chiefs’ lynch pins and a bloke who’s had more comebacks than John Farnham, went down midway through the first half clutching his face like he’d just been told Scott Robertson wasn’t coaching the ABs. He was stretchered off and we’re all crossing fingers it’s nothing long term.
Three things we learned
- Tupou Vaa’i – hat trick hero or winger in disguise? – The big fella played like he was born in the backline. Three tries, clean lines, and the nose for the line of a seasoned winger. Next stop: Wallabies beware.
- DMac is the puppet master – Every time McKenzie gets the ball, opposition defences visibly panic like they’ve just seen their mother-in-law move in. He’s controlling games like a PlayStation controller.
- Highlanders have spirit, but it’s time to rebuild the castle – There’s heart in that side. But the Landers need a refresh, some firepower, and maybe a wizard to help avoid another bottom-of-the-ladder season.
Crusaders 33 defeated Brumbies 31
Crusaders steal it late as Brumbies let one slip at GIO – Oh Brumbies, you beautiful, heartbreak-prone bastards. In a match that had all the makings of a season-defining statement, the Canberra lads hosted the Crusaders in the fortress of GIO Stadium. And while the Chiefs were already sipping post-win smoothies on top of the ladder, this one was all about the race for second. Spoiler alert: the Brums got mugged late and the Crusaders, eternal pests with more trophies than humility, snatched it 33-31.
Let’s talk about it. But first, pour one out for the missed opportunity.
First half: Crusaders bring the bash – The first 40? Rougher than a hangover after a wedding. The Crusaders came out flying — smashing breakdowns, blitzing the line, and basically treating the Brumbies’ ruck like it owed them money. ACT’s pack looked like they were stuck in first gear, and by the time oranges rolled around, it was 25-14 to the Saders.
Physicality? Tick. Line speed? Double tick. Sevu Reece doing Sevu Reece things? Sadly, yes.
Second half: fightback of the Bravehearts – But give credit where it’s due: the Brumbies showed some ticker. Big Rhys van Nek (a.k.a. The Neck Wrecker) bulldozed over for a try, and suddenly the pulse of Brumbies fans went from flatline to techno rave. Then Andy Muirhead, on the end of some slick hands, did his best impression of a battering ram with sideburns and somehow dragged three Crusaders into the in-goal. Lolesio slotted it and we were all tied up like a scout’s knot.
Eight minutes left. Penalty to the Brumbies. Lolesio bangs it over. 31-28. The dream was alive.
Then… the Crusaders happened – Enter George Bell. Not a Beatles cover band but the Saders’ super-sub hooker who peeled off a maul in the 76th and crashed over like he’d just been told there was free beer behind the try line. BUT WAIT. Rewind the tape. Sevu Reece, that cheeky little winger, had more than a sniff of a knock-on just before the try. Referee James Doleman? Blind as a bat in a blackout.
Brumbies had one last crack. And in true Aussie battler fashion, little Corey Toole — all heart and feet like fireworks — had us believing. He pinballed through defenders and was this close to finishing it off, before Scott “I-Ruin-Dreams” Barrett dislodged the pill three metres out. Dreams shattered. Final whistle blown. A nation (okay, a territory) weeps.
Where to now? – Well, at least the Brumbies are still top dogs in Australia — they’ll host either the Canes or the Reds next weekend in the qualifying finals. Crusaders? They cruise on to a home semi, because of course they do.
Three things we learned
1. Corey Toole is made of electricity and courage – Every time he touches the ball, you think something’s going to happen — and it almost did. If he puts on five more kilos and keeps his footwork, he’s going to be a Wallaby mainstay.
2. Referees don’t have access to knock-on vision – Doleman missed a blatant Reece knock-on in the lead-up to the match-winning try. At this point, Crusaders getting a favourable call is as certain as death, taxes, and a Kiwis-only SkySports commentary panel. His, and his assistant referees poor decisions didn’t cost the Ponies the game. But it has become very, very clear, ‘The Doleman effect’ ain’t good for Super Rugby, he’s not up to this standard and the referees’ appointments need to act.
3. The Brumbies can hang with the best — but can they finish? – They had this game in their grasp. Great fightback, strong intent. But big games demand full 80-minute precision. They blinked, and the Crusaders pounced.
So close, yet so Crusaders. Chin up, Brumbies fans. Finals footy is still coming to Canberra — let’s just hope the karma gods are watching.
Blues 46 defeated Waratahs 6
NSW Waratahs: finals hopes snuffed in Auckland massacre – If you’re a Tahs fan, you might want to read this through your fingers – or not at all. Here’s the tale of how the Waratahs’ season didn’t just end, it got nuked at Eden Bloody Park. Again. If the Waratahs’ 2024 season was a movie, this ending was pure Tarantino – explosive, messy, and with everyone wondering what the hell just happened, and the Waratahs brains splattered all over the windscreen.
The Tahs rolled into Eden Park needing to beat the Blues for the first time since George Bush was still the US President – and they got absolutely pantsed. A 46-6 shellacking. Seven tries to zilch. Eden Park remains the graveyard it’s always been for Aussie teams, and the Waratahs just bought a prime plot, six feet under.
Early doors? Not bad, actually. For the first 30 minutes, there was hope. Glimmers. The sort of “maybe, just maybe” that every Waratahs fan has learned to fear. Rookie 10 Jack Bowen slotted a couple of penalties, Andrew Kellaway and Teddy Wilson pulled off try-savers that’d make your Nan proud, and the Tahs were scrapping like their lives depended on it.
But then came the Four Minutes of Doom. Bowen slipped on a clearing kick – a metaphor for the season, really – and Beauden Barrett, who’s still as cheeky and dangerous as a huntsman in your shoe, flicked the switch. Enter Rieko Ioane, stage left, with two lightning-strike tries either side of halftime. The second came after young Henry O’Donnell had a Barry Crocker handling a Barrett grubber. From 10-6 it was suddenly 24-6, and that was all she wrote.
The second half? Well, it was a Blues highlight reel. The Tahs’ defence went walkabout, Corey Evans jogged in untouched, and Ioane sealed his spot in the record books with a try that left half the Waratahs clutching at ghosts. Doug Howlett’s Blues try-scoring record? Say g’day to your new roommate, Rieko. By the time Ricky Riccitelli flopped over and the bonus point was locked in tighter than a schooner on grand final day, the Tahs were dust. Finals dreams gone. Season gone. Dan McKellar probably eyeing the exit row on the flight home.
And just like that, the most promising Tahs season since 2009 finishes with a whimper – and a record hiding at the hands of the Blues. With all the RA support possible and the pick of all the good Rebels players, this is all they could muster! Goodnight, sweet prince.
Three things we learned
- Eden Park is haunted (for Aussies) – Seriously. It’s not just a fortress – it’s a horror movie location for Aussie rugby sides. No wins for the Waratahs there in 16 years, and this one was a true nightmare.
- Rookies show ticker, but not quite enough – Jack Bowen had a crack, Teddy Wilson and Henry O’Donnell showed glimpses, but class and experience told in the end. A few growing pains, sure – but a few green shoots, too.
- The Waratahs can’t catch a break – or a kick – Injuries to key players hurt, but the Tahs killed themselves with basic errors and poor execution. Barrett’s boot was a tactical death ray, and the Waratahs had no answers.
Hurricanes 64 defeated Moana Pasifika 12
Hurricanes blow Moana away like a southerly buster – 64-12 thumping secures finals footing
Well, the Hurricanes weren’t mucking around this week. In a performance that screamed, “Get outta our way!”, the Canes dished out a 64-12 shellacking to poor old Moana Pasifika. This was less of a rugby match and more of a demolition job. You could’ve sworn the Moana boys were caught in a Wellington wind tunnel and couldn’t find the exit. And with that, the Canes lock in fourth spot and a cheeky little date with the ACT Brumbies next week. Bring the popcorn.
Let’s get stuck in.
Early spark, then a complete Hurricane hosing – Moana Pasifika actually started with a hiss and a roar. Semisi Tupou Ta’eiloa grabbed an intercept off Solomon Alaimalo’s good work and powered over. For a brief moment, it looked like we had a contest. The Moana boys needed a bonus point win to leapfrog the Blues – and for the first five minutes, they dared to dream. Then the Hurricanes woke up, and when I say woke up, I mean they strapped on the steel-capped boots and started stomping through the ruck like a pub bouncer on derby night.
Jacob Devery got things rolling with a meaty maul try – classic Kiwi hooker stuff. Then flanker Devan Flanders added one from a slick chip and chase that had the crowd on their feet and the Moana defence gasping. Ardie Savea, bless him, was running himself ragged trying to plug the holes in the ship he used to sail. But when Cam Roigard snatched an intercept and dashed away untouched, you knew the writing was on the wall, written in permanent marker.
Peter Umaga-Jensen then stepped up with a filthy solo effort, stepping through defenders like a bloke weaving through a late-night kebab queue. That sent the Canes into the sheds up 26-7 – and from there, it was a paddlin’.
Second half: all Canes, no brakes – Umaga-Jensen didn’t waste time after the break, bagging his second and basically ending the game as a contest – not that it really was one by then. Then came the forwards’ party. Raymon Tuputupu and Pouri Rakete-Stones bulldozed their way over to keep the scoreboard ticking like a pokies machine on a lucky streak.
Ardie Savea did manage a late consolation for Moana – a classic right place, right time try – but the Canes weren’t done. Billy Proctor hit the 50-point mark like it was a speed limit, and then just for good measure, Ere Enari dotted down against his old side with the enthusiasm of a bloke getting revenge on his ex. And to cap it off dDebutant Tjay Clarke strolled in with the last try of the night. Not a bad way to say, “Hi, I’m here now.”
Three things we learned
1. Hurricanes have found fifth gear – Whatever’s in the water in Wellington, it’s working. The Canes aren’t just winning – they’re annihilating. That Brumbies clash is going to be a barnburner.
2. Moana Pasifika still a work in progress – There’s heart and effort, but they just don’t have the depth to go toe-to-toe with the big dogs – yet. Plenty to build on, but that defensive line was leakier than a rusted hose.
3. Cam Roigard Is a bloody nuisance (In the best way) – That intercept try changed the tone of the game. He’s got a sixth sense for sniffing out chances and is turning into one of the most dangerous halves in the comp.
Reds 52 defeated Fiji Drua 7
Anderson runs riot as Reds torch Drua – Well, well, well, it turns out when you give Lachie Anderson a footy, some space and a soggy Suncorp carpet, he turns into a try-scoring Terminator. It was wet, it was wild, and the Reds absolutely smashed the Drua in a good ol’ fashioned pre-finals tune up. Let’s get into it.
The man was on fire—four tries in the first half! Not since Joe Roff wore a mullet like a crown in ’96 or Drew Mitchell did Drew Mitchell things in 2010 have we seen an Aussie go over the chalk four times in one Super Rugby match. Lachie’s now the third member of that elite club, and mate, the honour is well deserved.
Let’s be honest, a few of those meat pies were served up on a silver platter. The pick of the bunch? A pinpoint cross kick from the ice-veined Tom Lynagh (who, by the way, has a boot like a surgeon’s scalpel). Anderson just had to fall over the line for that one. But credit where credit’s due—the bloke was sniffing around like a seagull at beachfront tables and made sure he was in the right place every single time.
The Reds were already locked into fifth and heading to Christchurch to dance with the Dark Ones next week, but they weren’t taking any chances. They brought the thunder. 52-7. Yeah, you read that right. A full-blown demolition. It wasn’t just the Anderson show either. Good to see Josh Flook back from his hammy drama—looked sharp and bagged himself a five-pointer. Joe Brial chimed in at the death to put the cherry on top and Filipo “I score tries for breakfast” Daugunu came off the bench and reminded everyone that leaving him out of the starting XV next week would be utter madness.
On the downside, Wallabies skipper Harry Wilson gave us a collective heart attack when he hobbled off. Having just returned from a busted wing, this was’t what the footy gods ordered. Let’s hope it’s just a niggle. Wallabies fans, pray to what ever imaginary deity you believe in that he’s good to go!
As for the Drua, well… they were more puddle than storm. The Suva side has been electric at home but went full sparkless in Brisbane. Two serves of 🧀 didn’t help—Iosefa Masi flipping Jock Campbell like a pancake, and Etonia Waqa taking out Tim Ryan mid-flight. You just can’t do that, fellas. Not in 2025. Not ever. Their only try came from Hetet, but even that was just a blip in the Reds’ masterclass. Poor old Tevita Ikanivere thought he had one on his milestone night, but Tom Lynagh, again, flew in like a missile and said, “No soup for you!”.
Three things we learned
1. Lachie Anderson is a demi god! – The former sevens flyer has found his home out wide for the Reds. Four tries in a half is no joke. He’s red hot heading into finals and just made Joe Schmidt’s selection headache even worse.
2. Tom Lynagh is growing into a proper general – Calm, composed, and clinical. The young flyhalf pulled the strings beautifully and saved a try with a ripper cover tackle. His cross-kick to Anderson was worth the price of admission alone. He’s the Wallabies 10!
3. Daugunu must start next week—no ifs, buts, or maybes – Whether at wing or centre, the bloke brings chaos, that’s exactly what the Reds need against the Crusaders. Bench impact is nice, but 80 minutes of Filipo is better. A gold jersey awaits this young man for the BIL tests.
Next stop: Christchurch, where the Reds will need every ounce of mongrel to survive finals footy against a Crusaders side that knows their way around a playoff. Get your popcorn, your beers, and your blood pressure meds—it’s going to be wild. Up the Reds!
Super Rugby Pacific ladder – how it ended up
Going into this round, every game had consequences to the make up of the finals. Now it’s done and dusted and the Chiefs are the minor premiers. For the Aussies, the Ponies are 3rd with a home final, and the Reddies are 5th. The Tahs and the Force? Well to be honest, not good.
The qualifying finals
Ok, so here we go. I’m not worried about the next lot of finals, let’s concetrate on next week. The finals start off with the Dark Saders v Reddies in Christchurch. Not fun. The Chiefs host the Blues in Hamilton before the Ponies host the KARL’s Canes in Peter Harvey Land.
I don’t know about you G&GRs, but I’m already salivating over next week. Let’s hope both of the Aussie franchises get the job done.
Enough of me dribbling 💩. Over to you G&GRs. Brisney out.
