G’day G&GRs. International Test Rugby is back, but that wasn’t the result that Wallabies fans were looking for. That is for sure! But hey, a great way to start a Sunday morning. Three big international Tests!
This Monday, we’ll look at the three big ones: Wallabies v England, South Africa v Japan, and The All Blacks v Ireland. So, prepare yourself for a bumper edition, Brisney style. Pour a quintruple shot espresso ☕, ride the heart palpitations, and let’s talk about God’s game.
England 25 defeated the Wallabies 7
Revenge of the Empire – If you haven’t done so already, make sure you read Sully’s excellent game review here. Thanks, Sully! Well, folks, the Empire was looking for some revenge from that heartbreaker last year. And by god, they got it. The Wallabies went down 25–7 to the Poms after a promising start turned into a classic case of “same old story.”
For about 40 minutes, there was a sniff. Harry Potter (yes, that’s his real name, and yes, he’s the only magic we had all night) conjured up a miracle intercept and legged it 90 metres to bring us within a penalty at the break. The Aussies looked alive, the English crowd went quiet, and for a fleeting moment, it felt like maybe, just maybe, we were in this.
But then came the second half — and reality. England rolled out their experienced finishers, and the Wallabies rolled over. Three unanswered tries later, and the hosts were celebrating like it was 2003 again. George Ford was pulling the strings early, running the show like a bloke with all day to operate. His high bombs caused chaos, and the Wallabies’ back three looked about as comfortable under the ball as a cat in a bath. One of those rainmakers landed perfectly for Tom Roebuck, who linked up with Ben Earl for England’s first. 10–0 down before we’d even blinked.
Potter’s intercept and earlier defensive save were the lone bright spots. The rest of the match? English dominance up front, clinical execution out wide, and the Wallabies looking like they’d misplaced their structure somewhere over the equator. Henry Pollock sparked the second-half onslaught, chasing yet another high ball that we didn’t deal with, sidestepping Kellaway’s desperate lunge, and dotting down. Then Alex Mitchell sniped from close range because apparently our guards decided defending was optional. And just to rub salt in it, England finished with a rolling maul try that started closer to Heathrow than our tryline — Luke Cowan-Dickie, the lucky passenger on the gravy train.
Even Pollock’s late yellow couldn’t slow the English down — the damage was well and truly done. Another game, another “learning experience.” How many of those do we need before the lessons stick?
🏉 Three Things We Identified (Because they are only lessons learned when you change your behaviour, til then we are just identifying them!)
- We are still allergic to the high ball – You’d think after the first couple of bombs went pear-shaped, someone might’ve decided to actually contest them properly. Instead, the English used the aerial game like a weapon, and we just watched the explosion.
- Potter’s the real deal – The bloke’s got pace, instincts, and ticker. He saved a try, scored one from nowhere, and generally looked like the only Wallaby who might break a game open. You are a Wizard, Harry!
- England’s depth > Wallabies’ bench – When the benches emptied, England went up a gear while we went into reverse. The English finishers made an impact; ours made ‘chump change’. Until Australia can match that power off the pine, we’ll keep fading late.
Another tough night at the office, and another reminder that “rebuilds” are fun only if they eventually stop.
South Africa 61 defeated Japan 7
Boks Smash Brave Blossoms at Wembley – No Miracle This Time – Well, folks, if Eddie Jones was hoping for a sequel to the “Miracle of Brighton,” he got the “Massacre of Wembley” instead. The Brave Blossoms copped a hiding from the world champion Springboks, going down 61–7 in a game that was about as one-sided as a scrum against the 2015 Wallabies front row.
In what was supposed to be a test of Japan’s growth under Jones 2.0, it turned into a masterclass from the Boks — and a personal statement game from young fly-half Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu, who reminded everyone that he’s the next big thing in the green and gold (the other green and gold, that is). The 23-year-old racked up 14 points, scored two cracking tries, and generally looked like he was playing touch footy while everyone else was knee-deep in mud.
Early Domination – The writing was on the wall early. Siya Kolisi — who looks like he could captain a hurricane if you gave him the whistle — opened the scoring in the fourth minute off a classic Bok maul. Then Feinberg-Mngomezulu went bang-bang with a pair of tries in five minutes, including a silky solo effort that had the Japanese defence flapping like loose goalpost pads.
By the 20-minute mark, it was 19–0, and you could almost hear Rassie Erasmus giggling in the coach’s box. Japan was chasing shadows, and it got worse when prop Shuhei Takeuchi took a ten-minute holiday for collapsing a maul. Referee Eoghan Cross dished out a penalty try for good measure, sending the Boks into halftime up 26–0 and cruising.
Second-Half Schooling – The second forty didn’t bring much relief for the Blossoms. Ben Gunter copped a yellow for a high shot on Kolisi, and the Boks went straight back to work. Big Wilco Louw crashed over for his first Test try after some slick hands from Kwagga Smith — because of course the Boks have a flanker who offloads like a Fijian.
Japan did finally get a consolation try through fullback Yoshitaka Yazaki, but that only seemed to annoy South Africa. Kurt-Lee Arendse and Andre Esterhuizen both dotted down before Arendse bagged his second after Cheslin Kolbe created magic from his own half. Jesse Kriel finished things off with a late meat pie, and Manie Libbok iced four conversions to make the scoreboard look like a cricket score — 61–7.
Rassie’s mob now marches to Paris to take on the French, who’ll need every baguette in the country to slow this lot down. As for Eddie’s Japan, they’ll need more than a few sushi rolls and a team psychologist to bounce back before facing Ireland, Wales, and Georgia.
Three Things We Learned
- Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu is the real deal – Two tries, calm under pressure, and pulling the strings like a seasoned veteran. The kid’s got vision, confidence, and that quiet arrogance all great 10s have. The Boks might have found their next long-term playmaker.
- The Bok machine keeps rolling – Even with rotation and a few fresh faces, this South African side looks ruthless. Their set-piece dominance and defensive line speed remain unmatched. The rest of the world — take note.
- Eddie’s Brave Blossoms are still finding their bite – There were moments of promise last week against the Wallabies, but against the Boks, Japan were simply outmuscled and outclassed. Jones has a massive rebuild ahead if he wants Japan to compete with Tier 1 sides regularly again.
New Zealand 26 defeated Ireland 13
All Blacks Sink 14-Man Ireland in Windy City Scrap – If you haven’t done so already, make sure you read our resident Kiwi, KARL’s, recap of the game here. That was a bit of a rollercoaster, wasn’t it? The All Blacks kicked off their Grand Slam tour with a gritty 26–13 win over a 14-man Ireland outfit at Chicago’s Soldier Field — the same patch of turf where the Irish famously broke their duck against New Zealand back in 2016. But this time, lightning didn’t strike twice.
The Kiwis found themselves down 10–0 early, got smacked around a bit, lost both Barrett brothers to injury, and still somehow found a way to steady the ship and roll home with four tries to one. It wasn’t pretty — in fact, at times it looked more like a pub brawl in a wind tunnel — but the men in black did what they do best: they found a way.
Red Card Chaos – The drama kicked off before anyone had finished their first overpriced Chicago beer. Just three minutes in, Irish lock Tadhg Beirne copped a 🧀 for a high shot on Beauden Barrett. After the bunker had its say, that 🧀 turned 🍷, . To their credit, the Irish didn’t roll over. Jack Crowley kept the scoreboard ticking with a penalty before big Tadhg Furlong crashed over to make it 10–0. For a while, it looked like Ireland might pull off the impossible again — until Ardie Savea decided he’d had enough of that nonsense.
Savea Sparks the Comeback – Savea’s first-half try came off some lovely work from Will Jordan and Leicester Fainga’anuku, who combined to shred the Irish line like it was made of wet cardboard. Beauden Barrett slotted the conversion from the paint to close it to 10–7 at the half. The Irish nudged further ahead with another Crowley penalty just after the break, but from there the gas tank started to empty. The All Blacks’ bench brought impact, pace, and fresh legs — and Ireland simply couldn’t keep up.
Bench Mob Seals It – Replacement prop Tamaiti Williams burrowed over to put New Zealand ahead for the first time, then Wallace Sititi capped off a slick attacking move to stretch the lead. By the time Cam Roigard sniped from the back of a scrum late on, Ireland’s defence looked as weary as the crowd after a day on Chicago deep-dish pizza. When the final whistle blew, it was four tries to one, and the All Blacks were already thinking about their next stops on the Grand Slam trail — Scotland, England, and Wales. The Irish will be left wondering what might’ve been had they kept fifteen on the park.
Three Things We Learned
- Cards kill contests – Once Beirne saw 🍷, this game was always going to be an uphill slog. Ireland battled bravely, but no team in world rugby can hold the All Blacks at bay for 77 minutes a man down.
- The All Blacks’ depth runs deep – Tamaiti Williams, Sititi, Roigard — all off the pine, all over the scoresheet. The new generation is stepping up nicely, which bodes well for a long tour.
- Ireland’s grit is real, but their discipline isn’t – Andy Farrell’s men fought like mad dogs and looked dangerous early, but you can’t win Test matches when your tackling technique keeps flirting with the judiciary.
Not a classic, but a solid start for the Kiwis. Messy, brutal, and full of talking points — just the way we like it in Brisneyland.
So that was a lot of Rugby to watch and to write up. But it was a very interesting start to the Autumn Internationals. Let us see what next week brings. Over to you, GAGRs! Have at it!
