Juan for the road – Thursday

Wallaby training was a real eye opener, Gits and Richard Graham are the toughest men in the set-up, shorts straight off the bus in minus 4 degrees, inspiring stuff.

Saw some old bloke sitting under the awning of the Easts’ club house. “Poor bugger” I thought, “He’s been there all night”. It wasn’t until the end of training that I realised it was Courier-Mail journo Jim Tucker, who’d flown in that morning and was unable to move as he was frozen to the seat.

Training went well with the forwards putting in some great line-out work. Jim Williams filled in at half-back and was looking good. Going to ask him about his talents at no. 9 at his next press conference and maybe push it through the 4 minute barrier.

Stuey Dickinson was there in his best tracksuit looking for someone to talk to – didn’t find any takers.

Worst job in the world belongs to Matt Hodgson. Despite a bung shoulder, he had to run water, make banana sanga’s for whoever wanted one, mix the Gatorade, pack up the equipment, load it into the van and then drive it back to the hotel. The equivalent of a rugby roadie, no wonder so many players are pissing off overseas!

Over to the Italian’s hotel for the press conference, saw Growden for the first time, the man is a pro. He and Jim Tucker had a coffee together while Jimmy was trying to thaw out, Grumbles said he had forgotten his wallet and left Jim with the bill – textbook stuff.

Nick Mallet can talk, really lays it on thick – Jim Williams take note. Mallet talks so much that when he finishes his response, everyone has forgotten what the question was in the first place. Apart from talking about Gowie and how the Italians were going to cop a pantsing, there was little else to say, but it still took him about 25 minutes to say it.

Next up was Mauro Bergamasco, Gowie and Luke McLean. Gowie copped all the questions – “Now your playing for Italy, what’s your favourite Opera?”, “Ferrari or Lamborghini?” and “What did you think of the recent European Union elections?”

Gowie left no cliché unused and stunned those present with his assessment of Gordon Brown’s effort to hold on to power of the British Labor party in the aftermath of the EU polls – “Yeah, mate, full credit to him. It was backs to the wall and the boys really had to dig deep”

Mauro looked really pissed off that he had to sit through this shit listening to Gowie crap on and having the Aussie press fawning over the ex-mungo. Finally someone asked Mauro a question. Unfortunately it was about Gowie which didn’t improve his mood.

Luke McLean said that he was really starting to feel Italian now that he had played 8 tests for his adopted country however the fact he showed up to the press conference in thongs suggests he still has some way to go with his assimilation.

Next was off to the AIS where Gits was going to do something or other. Arrived to see Grumbles eating an apple, not sure, but I think it may have been one of the new ‘steak & bacon’ flavoured apples the CSIRO are working on?

Gits pulled up in a spanking new Audi sports, the strains of Frank Sinatra singing “Life’s been good to me” could be heard on the breeze as he opened the door. Upon getting out of the car a couple of $50 notes fell from his pocket and fluttered down the street on the zephyr, Gits made a move to chase after them, but thought better of it.

“Plenty more where they came from”, he was heard to mutter.