Lions Maul Wallabies in Brutal Brisbane Bash-Up – G’day GAGR faithful, Brisneyland Local here bringing you all the goss, grubber kicks and grief from a stinger of a night in Brisvegas, where the British & Irish Lions took the first blood of the series with a clinical 27–19 win over our beloved Wallabies.
It was a night of what-ifs, near misses, BO’K crap reffing, and one absolutely bonkers try from young Max Jorgensen that had the crowd at Suncorp roaring like it was 2011 all over again. But when the dust settled and the froth from the XXXX Golds stopped flowing, it was the red men from the north who walked away with the win and a swagger in their step.
From the get-go, Scottish wizard Finn Russell had the game on a string. Within two minutes, he was slotting penalties and sending missiles wide to a galloping Sione Tuipulotu, who dived over untouched to draw first blood. The Lions had their tails up early, and the Wallabies found themselves under siege.
But then—enter Max bloody Jorgensen. The kid lit up the joint with a piece of solo brilliance that’ll go straight into the highlight reels. Leapt over Hugo Keenan like a man possessed, ripped the pill, and gassed it down the field for a try that had the crowd throwing pies in the air. One of the great Lions tour tries, no question.
Still, it was one-way traffic for the rest of the half. The Wallabies were camped on their own line more than a Bunnings sausage stand on a Saturday. Despite holding out a few close calls, the dam eventually broke when Tom Curry barrelled over just before oranges. 17–5 at the half, and the Lions looked like they were just getting started.
And start they did. A wayward Wallaby lineout early in the second stanza turned to disaster when Huw Jones scooped it up and fed Dan Sheehan. The big Irish hooker channeled his inner winger to finish in the corner, defying physics and his job description in the process.
To their credit, the Wallabies weren’t done. They hammered the Lions’ line for ten straight minutes. Harry Wilson went agonisingly close. Suaalii thought he had one—until the TMO decided otherwise. Harry Potter nearly pulled off some wizardry chasing a Wilson grubber but came up a length of a hair on a bee’s willy short.
It took until the 65th minute before super sub Carlo Tizzano finally crashed over. And just when you thought a comeback might be brewing, time ran out. A late dart from Tate McDermott added some respectability to the scoreboard, but the Lions were simply too polished, too composed, and too clinical.
Brisbane remains a fortress for the Lions, not us.
We can’t get Bib Bobby V and Skelton back soon enough. Lynagh had a solid game, all things considered. Gordon, as predicted, was shite, and Tate needs to start. Old Man Slipper looked old, and Bell needs to start. But that is just my impression, 5 mins after the game and at least 10 beers down range.
Three Things We Learned
- Finn Russell is a maestro – Like a Scottish James Bond with a rugby ball, Russell was smooth, sharp, and deadly. Every touch had a purpose. Every kick was spot-on. The Wallabies couldn’t lay a glove on him.
- Max Jorgensen is box-office – Forget Netflix, just give this kid the ball. That try was an all-timer, and he continues to show why he’s a generational talent. Defence is still a work in progress, but he’s got the X-factor in spades.
- The Wallabies left 15 points on the paddock – They weren’t outclassed, they were just out-executed. Plenty of chances went begging inside the Lions’ 22. This wasn’t a blowout—it was a missed opportunity. If they clean up their finishing, the series is still alive.
Anyway, it would be good to get all of your thoughts on this one. Over to you, GAGRs, have at it!
