Greetings one, greetings all and welcome to Friday’s Rugby Odhossy on rugbydownunder.com. A site that caters for the obnoxious, crass, sporting bogan in us all: kinda like MCC memberships dontcha think?
Today as the Wallabies Rugby Championship season is about to kick off, let’s all take knee and seek guidance from above, or below, with ‘The Forwards Prayer‘. Look at selection methodology of The Catholics with ‘R-E-S-T-E-Z-E’. Look at the teams, tactics & fearless predictions in ‘Like Donkey Kong’. Check out our Wallaroos as they prepare for game two of the Pacific 4 in ‘Brawn in the USA’. And wrap it all up with ‘Fridays Goss with Hoss‘, controversially banned from the ‘Long room’ at Lords.
The Forward’s Prayer.
Our saviour, who aint our seven,
hollowed be our game.
The Kiwi’s come, their will gets done,
on turf, as if from Rugby heaven.
Give us this day, some bloody plans,
to help roll these Kiwi bastards,
as we forgive those useless backs,
who stuff-up their kicks & passes.
And lead us not into frustration,
but deliver us from Kiwi’s:
For theirs is the kingdom, the power & rugby glory,
forever & ever
Amen.
R-E-S-T-E-Z-E.
‘Risspict? If we didint risspict Iddie & hiz team, would we huv sint harf our squad to NZ on a two week Contiki tour in idvince? I blame Nic Birry.’
Well, the loooong wait for the Wallabies first test of the season is at an end. And news out of the land of the oversized Dutch dirt farmer, that in preparation for the first test of the 2023 Rugby Championship season, ‘The Catholics’ have fully ‘respected’ Eddie & the Wallabies by sending twelve (yes, ‘twelve’) of the Bok’s squad ahead to the land of the mutton molesters (NZ) to prepare for their second game of TRC.
Jaco’s hand puppet, Jacque Nienaber also states: “We feel that’s showing respect to both sides. They’ve obviously got a quality squad here and we expect a very good team whoever they select“.
To be fair, who can blame the Saffa’s? they did the same in 2019 and that turned out half alright for them. Like it or not, this year is all about winning the RWC so the RC will be, well maybe not ‘sacrificed’ entirely, but let’s say ‘skirmishes’ will be surrendered in order to win the overall ‘battle’.
LIKE DONKEY KONG.
Springboks v Wallabies at Loftus Versfeld on Sunday 09th July. Coverage from 12:30 am AEST. Kick off 1:05 am. STAN sport.
So with The Catholics ‘resting’ certain starters, Eddie Jones has named his first orange matchday XXIII of his second tenure and it was much the same as ‘predicted’ by the reporter who’s parents didn’t want to waste their favourite name, Christy Doran.
There’s certainly some reasons to celebrate. I am an unabashed fan of Will Skelton and whilst we may not have seen the best of him yet, perhaps the best is yet to come, starting with this match. It will be interesting to see the big unit start and give us a point of difference that no other Australian lock offers. Quade ‘Lazarus’ Cooper makes his long awaited return and his is a special player and let’s hope he stays injury free. I like Tom Hooper, he’s almost of the Scott Fardy mold and that can’t be a bad thing. I first noticed him last year and thought he might be one to watch and whilst injury slowed him, he is now where he belongs.
On the ‘Whiskey Tango Foxtrot’ side, I think most rugby fans don’t see what Eddie does with Vunivalu, who’s nickname surely has to be ‘Dozy’, cause the only time he’s fast is when he’s asleep. Reece ‘the Clydesdale’ Hodge? I get the reasoning, playing at altitude and he has a howitzer for a boot, but hasn’t that ship sailed already? The bench looks like Sushi, raw and slightly unfulfilling, but I am excited for Carter ‘Flash’ Gordon to get some game time & I think he could be something special, real special.
For all of that, it’s our Wallabies first outing under Eddie The players are extremely fit and also a happy and tight knit squad. While The Catholics are at home, they have ‘rested’ 46 of their 33 man squad so if not now, when?
There is however a gnawing anxiety in in the pit of my stomach. Check out the match officials for this one……
Fearless prediction: History beckons. Wallabies by 13.
Springboks (15-1): Willie le Roux; Canan Moodie, Lukhanyo Am, Andre Esterhuizen, Kurt-Lee Arendse; Manie Libbok, Cobus Reinach; Duane Vermeulen (c), Pieter-Steph du Toit, Marco van Staden; Marvin Orie, Jean Kleyn; Frans Malherbe, Bongi Mbonambi, Ox Nche Replacements: Joseph Dweba, Thomas du Toit, Vincent Koch, RG Snyman, Evan Roos, Deon Fourie, Grant Williams, Damian Willemse
WALLABIES (15-1): Tom Wright, Suliasi Vunivalu, Len Ikitau, Reece Hodge, Marika Koroibete, Quade Cooper, Nic White, Rob Valetini, Michael Hooper (co-c), Tom Hooper, Will Skelton, Nick Frost, Allan Alaalatoa, Dave Porecki, James Slipper (co-c) Reserves: Jordan Uelese, Matt Gibbon, Zane Nonggorr, Richie Arnold, Pete Samu, Tate McDermott, Samu Kerevi, Carter Gordon
Match Officials: Referee: Ben O’Keeffe (NZR) Assistant Referee 1: Paul Williams (NZR) Assistant Referee 2: Andrea Piardi (FIR) TMO: Brendon Pickerill (NZR)
Argentina V All Blacks, Estadio Malvinas Argentinas, Mendoza, coverage from 4.30am, kick off 5.10 am on STAN.
Nearlies coach & dead bear walking, Ian ‘Fozzie B Bear’ Foster has taken a leaf out of the Saffa’s ‘respect manual’ by resting several big names for the first up clash with Los Pumas this Sunday. Probably the biggest call is Damian ‘Bon Jovi’ McKenzie getting the nod to wear the hallowed, nearly all black #10 jersey, with Beaudie Barrett named at #15 and Princess Mo’unga named on the pine highway.
The dark lords would do well to remember that the Los Pumas are at home & emotions will be high as Cheika will have them primed and ready for this one, feeding their ‘under dog’ status and needling them to get in the faces of the Kiwi team.
Argentina: Emiliano Buoffelli, Bautista Delguy, Matias Moroni, Lucio Cint, Mateo Carreras, Santiago Carreras, Gonzalo Bertranou, Rodrigo Bruni, Juan Martin Gonzalez, Pablo Matera, Tomas Lavanini, Matias Alemanno, Lucio Sordoni, Julian Montoya, Thomas Gallo
Replacements: Agustín Creevy, Mayco Vivas, Eduardo Bello, Pedro Rubiolo, Santiago Grondona, Lautaro Bazán Vélez, Nicolás Sánchez, Matías Orlando
All Blacks: Beauden Barrett, Emoni Narawa, Rieko Ioane, Jordie Barrett, Caleb Clarke, Damian McKenzie, Aaron Smith, Ardie Savea, Sam Cane (captain), Shannon Frizell, Josh Lord, Scott Barrett, Tyrel Lomax, Dane Coles, Ethan de Groot. Reserves: Codie Taylor, Ofa Tu’ungafasi, Nepo Laulala, Tupou Vaa’i, Dalton Papali’i, Finlay Christie, Richie , Braydon Ennor.
Fearless Prediction: Los Pumas by 9.
Match Officials: Referee: Angus Gardner (RA) Assistant Referee 1: Nic Berry (RA) Assistant Referee 2: Jordan Way (RA) TMO: Brett Cronan (RA)
BRAWN IN THE USA!
USA v Wallaroos. Coverage from 5.50am. Kickoff 6.00am. Sunday 10th July AEST – on STAN.
After some tosser on here tipped the Wallaroos to win by 5 last week against the Black Ferns, our girls have been in the NZ of the north, Canada, this week preparing to face the good ‘ol US of A on Sunday NSW time.
Assistant Wallaroo’s coach & Quokka Ambassador, Scott Fava telling rugby.com.au:
“We want to see a reaction and a response,”
“A big part of that response is seeing them take everything that we’ve installed in them into action. If those girls are able to do that, it’ll go a long way towards securing their spot.
“That’s the beauty of what we’ve set up. Every Tuesday allows you to either get yourself in or out of the team…it should really spark up some fire under everyone’s belly.”
The Seppos are coming off a round #1 drubbing of their own, going down 50-17 against the Canucks in Aprils clash. Apparently the ‘Canadian Times’ newspaper reported the result and game details with the headline: ‘USA Fooked by Canooks’, which sparked some terse comments from POTUS himself, with Joe Biden retorting: ‘window, shovel, six, Jill, patriotic’ before retreating to the Oval Office for his midday nap.
All that aside the Wallaroos were pedestrian in defence last week and to my eye, seemed very timid of some of the large Black Ferns forwards heading at them. Now to be certain, defence wins matches, offence usually determines the margin of those wins.
If the Wallaroos are to get the ‘W’ this weekend it starts with a whole lot more grit & starch in their ‘D’ and showing some sorely needed brawn in the USA.
Fearless Prediction: Wallaroos by 12.
FRIDAY’S GOSS WITH HOSS.
Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, A,A,A
The Australian A team has been announced to play Tonga next month giving vital game time to those on the fringes of RWC selection. The squad includes JOC2.0 & Spanners Foley amongst others. The Aussie ‘A’ selections worked a treat last year and is terrific ‘insurance’ with injuries or suspension likely to hit our RWC campaign at some point.
Australia ‘A’: Lachlan Anderson, Jock Campbell, Josh Canham, Pone Fa’amausili, Folau Fainga’a, Issak Fines-Leleiwasa, Bernard Foley, Josh Flook, Jake Gordon, Ned Hanigan, Tom Lambert, Lachlan Lonergan, Cadeyrn Neville, James O’Connor, Lukhan Salakaia-Loto, Ollie Sapsford, Blake Schoupp, Lachlan Swinton, Sam Talakai, Corey Toole, Seru Uru, Rhys Van Nek, Joey Walton, Brad Wilkin, Harry Wilson.
Copy cats.
In yet another complete copy of what Australia does (electricity, running water, democracy) the NZR has named their Australia New Zealand ‘XV’ side to face Japan. This Saturday evening
All Blacks XV v Japan XV. Where: Chichibunomiya Rugby Stadium, Tokyo. Kickoff: Saturday, 8pm NZ time, which I think is March 15th 1986 AEST. Live coverage: Sky Sport
stuff.co.nz has more.
The ire of Dwyer?
Well, no. Seems Coaching legend Bob Dwyer & Brian have somewhat of a coaching bromance going on as the SMH reports.
Not good enough.
Extremely disappointing story on ABC news regarding a referees abuse and his subsequent retirement after 20 years in the role. Come on rugby people, aren’t we better than this?
Why Eddie?
I know the dust has settled, but if you ever had doubts about ‘why’ Eddie got brought back in? Check this out, also on ABC news. Can you imagine this type of coverage if we didn’t have Mr Jones?
Until next week, come on Aussies!
Hoss – out.
