Wasn’t I just here?
Greetings one and greetings all and welcome to rugby’s holy day and Friday’s Rugby News. With the whole country buzzing after last week’s match and the women’s RWC to kickoff this weekend, who said too much rugby is never enough?
We kick off today with ‘How sweet the sound’. Look at this week’s Wallabies selections in ‘Toole Time’. Join the Wallaroos in the UK at ‘Wallaroos Wanderlust’. Go full Spielberg with a rollicking read at ‘Indiana Jones & the whistle of destiny’. And then wear your Wallabies jersey loud and proud for ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss‘, pursuing peace in the Ukraine by nuking Russia.
How sweet the sound.
I must admit to a deep and abiding sense of satisfaction after the fulltime hooter last week in Jorgenusburg (renamed after Mad Max Jorgensen’s near perfect showing). The bounce of the ball favoured our Wallabies while the Boks coughed and spluttered and fluffed attacking raids. Even referee O’Keeffe rediscovered his form and had an outstanding match. He kept the game moving, and in doing so kept the beefy Boks on their feet more than any MO recently. So much so that they were gassed with 15 to go and our golden warriors ran amok. None of the above is to say the Wallabies didn’t earn their win, only to say that there was a gentle breeze filling the sails of Oz rugby last week as it sailed to manifest destiny.
But what made the victory even more satisfying was the stupefied looks on the Boks’ fans faces, well, more stupefied than usual anyway and the almost total lack of that phlegm inducing, hairball in the back of the throat Afrikaans heard around the ground. It was quiet, blissfully quiet. Weirdly quiet. Beautifully quiet. Serendipitously quiet. It was a soul cleansing quiet. And it was beautiful to behold, even for a wretch like me. Here’s to not hearing them again this weekend.
Toole Time.
South Africa v Australia. Cape Town. Saturday, 24 August 12.30am (kick off 1.10am) AEST on Stan.
One thing’s for sure, the Boks are going to go back to the future in this second test. There’ll be the relentless forward carries, and with 72yo Handre Pollard on day release from a Saffa nursing home there’ll be aerial raids to make the Luftwaffe blush. There’ll be rabid fans and relentless pressure, all laced with the (crushing?) expectation from every Saffa in the world that they must win, and they will win. Won’t they?
And then there’s our lot. St Joe and the brains trust have made a few changes to the Wallabies for this one, and I can’t help but be excited because the whispers are true. The man who is so quick he can turn off the light switch and jump into bed before it gets dark, Corey Toole, will make his debut in place of the injured Dylan Pietsch. Dr Throbba Robertson gets a start at loosehead. Sideshow Bob Valetini is back to replace injured/rested skipper Dirty Harry Wilson, which means Fraser Mac will captain the side. The pine riders are very similar, with the exception of Clubba Langi Gleeson making way for Nick Champion de Crespigny. Overall St Joe has kept the 5:3 split.
Of course there’s going to be a reaction from the Saffas. You don’t become back-to-back world champs by luck and as suggested above, a lot of things did go right for our record breakers. But that said, the Wallabies did appear fitter and more connected, which is a direct benefit of fives tests in eight weeks. Our two veterans, The Lip and JOC 3.0, unpicked their defences while Elsa Frost dominated their lineout. Our forwards met the physical challenge and FMac pinched more ball than a former Sydney radio personality (allegedly).
The narrative that we won only because the Boks had an off day is about as accurate as a Netanyahu presser. The fact is, the Wallabies outplayed the Boks. They out thought them. They out muscled them. They out lasted them, and deservedly beat them.
For all of that, does that mean it can happen again this weekend and the Wallabies win against the odds? Well, to do so means a better start, more security under the high ball, believing in the game plan and executing accordingly. Do that and our side will be in the game deep into the second half, but will it be enough?
Fearless Prediction: Yes, yes it will. Wallabies by 12.
WALLABIES (15-1): Tom Wright; Max Jorgensen, Joseph-Aukuso Suaalii, Len Ikitau, Corey Toole; James O’Connor, Nic White; Bob Valetini, Fraser McReight (capt), Tom Hooper; Will Skelton, Nick Frost; Taniela Tupou, Billy Pollard, Tom Robertson
Replacements: Brandon Paenga-Amosa, Angus Bell, Zane Nonggorr, Jeremy Williams, Nick Champion de Crespigny, Tate McDermott, Tane Edmed, Andrew Kellaway.
SPRINGBOKS (15-1): Willie le Roux; Canan Moodie, Jesse Kriel (capt), Damian de Allende, Cheslin Kolbe; Handre Pollard, Grant Williams; Jean-Luc du Preez, Franco Mostert, Marco van Staden; Ruan Nortje, RG Snyman; Thomas du Toit, Malcolm Marx, Ox Nche
Replacements: Marnus van der Merwe, Boan Venter, Wilco Louw, Eben Etzebeth, Lood de Jager, Kwagga Smith, Cobus Reinach, Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu.
Match Officials: Referee: James Doleman (NZR) Assistant Referee 1: Andrew Brace (IRFU) Assistant Referee 2: Gianluca Gnecchi (FIR) TMO: Richard Kelly (NZR) FPRO: Tual Trainini (FFR)
Wallaroo wanderlust.
The women’s World Cup kicks off this weekend to much fanfare and excitement. Our Wallaroos have been in the UK for near two weeks to acclimatise. This included inviting Sam Kerr into camp for tips and discussions around taxi etiquette and calling on the vast knowledge and experience of coach Jo Yapp. With so much on, here are two very good links for teams, times & coverage details:
First up for our Wallaroos: Saturday, 23 August v Samoa: Salford Community Stadium Manchester, 9:00pm AEST
The reality is for our Wallaroos that their whole World Cup future possibly revolves around their second game against the Septic Tanks. If, as expected, our team defeats Samoa and likely loses to England in game three, their World Cup survival hinges on a win against the gun-toting, fast talking, Trump lovers. And whichever way you cut it, a quarter final appearance should be the bare minimum expectation for our Wallaroos and us fans. From there, a bounce here, a decision there and anything is possible.
Wallaroos: 1. Faliki Pohiva 2. Katalina Amosa 3. Asoiva Karpani 4. Kaitlan Leaney (co-c) 5. Michaela Leonard 6. Piper Duck 7. Emily Chancellor (co-c) 8. Tabua Tuinakauvadra 9. Samantha Wood 10. Faitala Moleka 11. Desiree Miller 12. Cecilia Smith 13. Georgina Friedrichs 14. Maya Stewart 15. Caitlyn Halse
Reserves 16. Adiana Talakai 17. Brianna Hoy 18. Bridie O’Gorman 19. Ashley Fernandez 20. Ashley Marsters 21. Layne Morgan 22. Tia Hinds 23. Lori Cramer
Indiana Jones & the whistle of destiny.
Would you believe, Nathan Williamson of rugby.com.au infamy, has finally got an interesting tale to tell. And what a rollicking tale it is.
Imagine a story of guns, Nairobi sex workers, martial arts, a PhD in microbiology and immunology, of changing nations, a career in education including principal at a prestigious independent school, and as if that wasn’t enough, the next chapter a RWC match official! Imagine no more: ladies, gents and those in between, meet Australian rugby’s Indiana Jones, Dr Rachel Horton.
A captain in the British Army: tours of Iraq: works with African sex workers: re-locating to Australia: Muay Thai fighting: teaching, officiating in Sevens and now a role at the 2025 RWC. Wow. Just wow.
If you read nothing else ever written by Natho (and let’s face it, you probably won’t) read the article. And if all of Horton’s achievements aren’t enough, she’s also studying law and hopes to return to education.
Dr H, if you’re ever free for a podcast, please contact me via G&GR.
What a yarn. What a person.
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
Sayonara Sanchez
Will Genia has announced his retirement from rugby as he looks to transition as skills coach for Kinetsu Liners alongside Quade Cooper. Genia, now 37 and with 110 Wallaby Caps, 115 Reds appearances, 21 with Stade Francais, 23 for some Melbourne side and 62 for the Kinetsu Liners finishes his career with a Super Rugby title, a Tri-Nations title, a Rugby Championship title and a European Rugby Challenge title with Stade Français, as well as making the 2015 Rugby World Cup final.
Not too shabby. Go well Sanchez.
Sell outs.
Just how popular is RWC2025? Look no further than an already sold out Twickenham for the RWC final. With over 80,000 expected, it will also set an attendance record for the women’s game.
Kiwi capers: FISMs v The Nearlies – somewhere in South America, Sunday, 24 August 6:00am AEST
You think there’d be a gift hamper or public thanking for lifting the sheep shaggers to the #1 world ranking, wouldn’t you? But nope, crickets from our neighbours. Perhaps it’s because they’re preparing for their match against Los Pumas this week:
Free WIlly.
How good is it to see big Will Skelton in the RC! Not only did we have him for the Lions and two tests against the DDFs but it’s rumoured he might even stay for the two tests against the FISMs. Interesting commentary on Inside Line about Skelton’s availability for now and perhaps, the Bledisloe. Wouldn’t that be bloody sensational.
Bloody hell.
Want to see what Siya Kolisi’s shoulder tastes like? Check out the damage to The Peach’s broken jaw here. Still makes me wince.
Fantasy Update.
Round 1 of TRC Fantasy League is run and done, here’s the top 15:
What a week for rugby in Australia. Imagine when we win this one as well!
Go you good things.
Hoss -out.
