Good evening, good morning, good day and good riddance to another working week. It’s Friday again and you know what that means, it’s rugby time and we have a bumper FRN for you delectation.
First up today we preview Saturday’s test with ‘Georgia On My Mind’. Take a trip up north and cast an eye over ‘The Costco Reds’. Welcome back a fan favourite in ‘You Feeling Lucky Punk?’ Skip over to the home of fortnightly elections and also this years Olympics for ‘Bound For Glory’. Get on a big ol’ jet airliner with the Kiwis and ‘Working Holiday’. Review last weekend’s Wallaroos match in ‘Slapstick’. Before bidding farewell to an epic week of rugby with ‘Friday’s Goss With Hoss’, last seen out the back paddock burning incriminating CFMEU documents.
Georgia on my Mind.
Sat 20 July 3.00pm AEST. Kick off close to 3:55. Allianz Stadium.
‘Georgia, Georgia, the whole day through’.
A penny for the thought of adopted (for now) Aussie St Joe, huh. Do you make wholesale changes to a winning side or get a look at some of the players, try new combos and rest others ahead of the Rugby Championship? In doing so, do you risk destabalising a team just learning to win? Do you risk an embarrassing loss like the Deans led Wallabies against Samoa? Or Rennie’s lot against Italy?
I thought St Joe summed it up beautifully himself yesterday, when he was quoted: ‘We’ve got a very short-term focus, long-term view, and I know that’s a paradox, but it’s a paradox that you almost have to employ so that you best vaccinate against future injury or future changes or form. At the same time, you offer opportunities to players who a number of them have been in the Test arena before like Harry Wilson and Len Ikitau so it’s not like the seven debutants from the first Test.”
Personally I think St Joe has the balance just about right. Experienced players in key spots. Combinations in others. And the refreshingly key word here is ‘balance’. Compared to say, former coach Voldemort, who in zoological terms sent meerkats to France to impregnate giraffes.
It’s about sensible, considered balance, not ridiculous and unfounded ambition.
Fearless Prediction: Wallabies by 33.
Wallabies (15-1): Tom Wright; Filipo Daugunu, Len Ikitau, Hunter Paisami, Darby Lancaster; Ben Donaldson, Tate McDermott; Harry Wilson, Fraser McReight, Rob Valetini; Angus Blyth, Nick Frost; Allan Alaalatoa (c), Billy Pollard, Isaac Kailea
Replacements: Josh Nasser, Alex Hodgman, Zane Nonggorr, Tom Hooper, Jeremy Williams, Nic White, Noah Lolesio, Andrew Kellaway
Georgia (15-1): Davit Niniashvili, Aka Tabutsandze, Demur Tapladze, Giorgi Kveseladze, Alexander Todua, Luka Matkava, Milkheil Alania, Tornike Jalagonia, Beka Saghinadze, Beka Gorgadze (c), Mikheil Babunashvili, Lado Chachanidze, Alexsandre Kuntelia, Vano Karkadze, Giorgi Mamaiashvili
Replacements: Luka Petriashvili, Luka Goginava, Irakli Aptsiauri, Lasha Jaiani, Luka Ivanishvili, Giorgi Tsutskiridze, Vasil Lobzhanidze, Tedo Abzhandaze
Match Officials: Referee: James (Charlie’s mate) Doleman (NZR) Assistant Referee 1: Paul Williams (NZR) Assistant Referee 2: Angus Mabey (NZR) TMO: Richard Kelly (NZR)
The Costco Reds?
It appears the Queensland Reds are the doomsday preppers of Australian rugby. I mean, why else would you stockpile 16 props, 9 hookers. 32 locks and 15 loose forwards?
I get that many a Mexican dodo (Rebel) would have looked at the Tahs last SRP season and thought, ‘bugger me, we’re headed for extinction, but what’s their excuse?’ and would’ve been a tad reluctant to move to Sydney. I also factor in that the Rebs have been through the emotional wringer and the last thing (I imagine), any of them would have wanted is more possible psychological damage.
But roll forward six weeks. Simon Raiwalui is in the big seat, Chuckles McKellar has the clipboard for the next three years and the dam wall cracks have been filled. Yet still the news reels are, almost daily, reporting yet another Reb become a Red. Maybe it’s because they can’t spell reel well and it saves them learning a new letter?
Take out my passing interest in the Tahs fortunes for a moment, but how is warehousing so much rugby talent in one side going to help Australian Rugby? The players will struggle for game time. The Reds will struggle to pay them what they seek. So you’ll have an underpaid player not getting any serious minutes on match day. In turn this is clogging your development pathways as you’re ‘top heavy’. So the next generation of Red talent leaves the banjo lands and heads west, or worse, the Brumbies. And did I mention the pressure of expectation on the coach and players to win the whole thing? That’s a powder keg that’s gonna be fun to watch
As far as the Tahs, all is not lost with the SMH reporting up to seven players are close to signing with them for 2025. Key among them, The Abattoir, Nella Tupou, who, I can confirm, will be lodging at the Ponderosa to avoid the limelight and to help pull the plough in the lucerne paddocks.
Full centralisation can’t come fast enough and one hopes when Dave Nucifora returns home and pairs up with Peter Horne, it will be much streamlined.
You Feeling Lucky, Punk?
One of my favourite players, stolen NSW backrower Dirty Harry Wilson, will finally get to add to his tally of 12 Wallaby caps when he runs out against Georgia on Saturday.
Two former national coaches had previously alluded to aspects of Harry’s game he needed to work on to force his way back into the orange gold jersey. And before injury cruelled his 2024 SRP season, it would be hard to argue he seemed a more complete player than previously.
At his best, Big H is a skilled, energetic, naturally gifted footballer and perhaps this test is the perfect chance for him to reset and deliver on his undoubted potential on what three coaches now have asked. St Joe the latest to say, “For a big man, he’s a good athlete. So we want to see the athleticism. He’s got good skill set. I think probably just the consistency of that skill set. He’s got to demonstrate that every time…and staying in the game because of the way some teams play, he plays on the edge quite a bit and I think sometimes he can drift a little bit and then he’s not in the game. With a guy like Harry, he’s got to stay in the game, even if he’s not immediately around the ball, he’s got to stay connected to what’s happening so that he’s ready when the ball does become available and if he is, he’s a weapon.”
I am tipping Dirty Harry to have a big game. He has his partner in crime, Fraser Mac, for support. Joe Dirt McDermott will land passes somewhere within around four feet of him as well, so familiarity there also. Plus there’s perhaps a tad less pressure up against Georgia first run back, then facing the Catholics or the Mutton Molesters first run back from a spell.
Welcome back Dirty Harry, now I invite you to go ahead and make our day.
Bound for Glory.
The city of light. The city of love, the city of overpriced baguettes and snooty vendors, but possibly also, the city of gold.
Our 7s sides are in France ahead of their respective campaigns, with both sides realistic medal chances and our ladies (possibly) the gold medal favourites. You can catch all the matches live on STAN and NINE with details below.
I love watching the women’s 7s. I got to go to the 2018 Comm. Games event, including the gold medal playoff, in one of the best rugby matches I’ve witnessed. I’ve been hooked ever since.
Go you good things!
All game times AEST. Coverage on STAN and NINE.
Australia men’s rugby 7s team: Nicholas Malouf (captain), Henry Hutchison, Ben Dowling, Matthew Gonzalez, Nathan Lawson, Maurice Longbottom, Mark Nawaqanitawase, Henry Paterson, Dietrich Roache, Hayden Sargeant, Corey Toole, James Turner; Reserves: Joshua Turner, Michael Icely
- Wednesday, 24 July 11.30pm v Samoa
- Thursday, 25 3.00am v Kenya
- Thursday, 25 10.30pm v Argentina
Australia women’s rugby 7s team: Charlotte Caslick (captain), Sharni Smale, Bridget Clark, Dominique du Toit, Tia Hinds, Maddison Levi, Teagan Levi, Isabella Nasser, Faith Nathan, Sariah Paki, Kaitlin Shave, Bienne Terita; Reserves: Kahli Henwood, Sidney Taylor
- Monday, 29 July 12.00am v South Africa
- Monday, 29 July 3.30am v Great Britain.
- Monday, 29 July 10.30pm v Ireland
olympics.com/en/paris has all your 7s Olympic details.
Working Holiday.
All Blacks v Fiji. Saturday, 20 July, 11.30am AEST. Snapdragon Stadium, San Diego,
In a teaser for the RWC2031, to be held in the Fractured States of America, the Kiwis will take on Fiji this Saturday AEST in the Mexican capital of San Diego.
The Razor gang have made six changes to the side who barely scraped past the Soap Dodgers these past two weeks. Robertson has handed debuts to Billy Proctor, Wallace Sititi, George Bell, Pasilio Tosi, Noah Hotham and Sam Darry.
The Nearlies would do well to remain focused and not get carried away with the everyone gets a prize jersey issue. The Fijians are at, or near, full strength. Many of them are coming out of northern seasons and will be both rested yet sharp. A lot of the NZ squad have come out of two brutal matches against the Poms and have travelled half way around the globe. This game has ‘banana skin’ writ large all over it. An inexperienced squad, foreign shores, more debutantes than an Armidale CWA Gala evening
Fearless Prediction: Fiji by 5. Yep. Fiji.
New Zealand (15-1): Beauden Barrett, Sevu Reece, Billy Proctor, Anton Lienert-Brown, Caleb Clarke, Damian McKenzie, Cortez Ratima; Ardie Savea, Ethan Blackadder, Luke Jacobson, Tupou Vaa’i, Scott Barrett (captain), Fletcher Newell, Asafo Aumua, Tamaiti Williams.
Reserves: George Bell, Ethan de Groot, Pasilio Tosi, Sam Darry, Wallace Sititi, Noah Hotham, Jordie Barrett, Emoni Narawa.
Fiji (15-1): Vilimoni Botitu, Jiuta Wainiqolo, Waisea Nayacalevu (captain), Inia Tabuavou, Semi Radradra, Isaiah Armstrong-Ravula, Frank Lomani; Viliame Mata, Kitione Salawa, Lekima Tagitagivalu, Temo Mayanavanua, Isoa Nasilasila, Mesake Doge, Tevita Ikanivere, Eroni Mawi.
Reserves: Zuriel Togiatama, Haireiti Hetet, Samu Tawake, Albert Tuisue, Elia Canikaivata, Simione Kuruvoli, Caleb Muntz, Sireli Maqawa.
Match Officials: Referee: Matthew Carley (RFU) Assistant Referee 1: Anthony Woodthorpe (RFU) Assistant Referee 2: Luke Rogan (USAR) TMO: Ian Tempest (RFU)
Slapstick.
Hey, Wallaroos, Whisky Tango Foxtrot was that?
From the kick-off against the Black Ferns, the Wallaroos looked like rabbits in the headlights. Or perhaps more apt, they were played like giddy fans in awe of their idols. It was complete rubbish and it was embarrassing. So much so I turned off at halftime, it was unwatchable.
From shirt grabbing attempted tackles by Bella McKenzie, more at home in under 8s than an international test match, to fumbles, bumbles and stumbles from the team as a whole, it was a disgraceful showing by the Wallaroos. Indeed sources from the ground (yes, an actual living, breathing person at the ground) told Friday’s Rugby News an alleged comment that the Black Ferns respect the Aussies as athletes, but don’t believe they have any rugby brains. And it showed.
Gone was the cohesion, starch, discipline and structure of a week earlier. Instead was some sort of display that needed the Benny Hill theme song looping in the background. Indeed watching said shite show, it’s hard to disagree with the alleged Black Ferns comment. The Wallaroos do look fit enough, maybe the missing ingredient is the fitness of the top two inches.
Until the Wallaroos genuinely believe that the BFs are just another rugby side, a good side, but a rugby side nonetheless, and get in their faces, sit them on their arse and play rugby, they ain’t ever gonna beat them. And you won’t beat them by talking about it in the lead up.
You will beat them by becoming a mentally stronger, disciplined, consistent and aggressive team. Not by acting like 14 year old fans at a Trailer Swift concert.
The road to redemption for the Wallaroos kicks off in September:
WALLAROOS AWAY TEST SCHEDULE
- Saturday 14 September: Ireland v Australia – Kingspan Stadium, Belfast, Time TBC
- Saturday 21 September: Wales v Australia – Rodney Parade, Newport, 4:00am (AEST)
WALLAROOS WXV2 SCHEDULE
- Saturday 28 September: Australia v Wales – DHL Stadium, Cape Town, 8:30pm (AEST)
- Sunday 6 October: South Africa v Australia – Athlone Stadium, Cape Town, 1:00am (AEST)
- Sunday 13 October: Australia v Scotland – Athlone Stadium, Cape Town, 2:00am (AEST)
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
No Hugging. No kissing, and Keep Your Hands to Yourself.
Tomorrow we welcome prolific G&GR contributor, and eastern European political refugee, Georgia Satellite to our writing team. Having spent time living in Georgia, GS is ideally placed to do the test match review for us and I for one can’t wait to pore through his offering. Welcome aboard GS, great to have you with backstage access. Please do not pat the Yowie.
We will also relaunch our Wallabies Player Ratings, after our IT team completely ballsed up last week’s poll. Staff beatings have been issued at G&GR HQ all week in order to improve morale and results.
Wales Watch.
Just a reminder that the Queensland Rebs take on Wales tonight in front of what is expected to be the biggest domestic rugby crowd since 2021. STAN has you covered from 7.30pm AEST
Jock with a little C.
Congrats to Jock Campbell who gets the captain’s armband for tonight’s fixture against the Welsh. With a sprightly warm and dry winters day here’s hoping it’s an expansive and fast game. Fearless prediction? Wales to lose 38th game in a row, or something like that.
Hollie Dooley!
Big G&GR congratulations to Scottish refereeing sensation, Hollie Davidson. Davidson will this weekend become the first ever female to officiate a Springboks test match when she takes the whistle for the Boks v Portugal.
Having watched Davidson over several years, yours truly is a big fan of her temperament, clear communication and conduct with the players. Well done from all at G&GR, Hollie. Go well.
South Africa v Portugal. 21 July. Kick off 1.05am AEST. STAN sports
Once Nearly Were Warriors.
Richie Mo’unga tells stuff.co.nz that he almost joined rival code team the NZ Warriors at the end of 2018. Ultimately the lure of the 2019 RWC in Nipponville was enough to stay with the Nearlies in union.
He tells the site that as a youngster that he idolised Jarryd Hayne, saying he he ‘wanted to be like Jarryd and move like Jarryd’.
Taxi!
Battered Boks
You get a sense of just how physical it must’ve been against Oirland when reports have confirmed a number of fractures, contusions and general war injuries to frontline players, like:
- Malcom Marx – fractured tibia (how was that either not a direct red card or no one has been cited? It was blatant and horrid!)
- Franco Mostert – broken leg
- Loose forward behemoth and poor speller PSDT – unclear the nature of the injury, but will miss ‘4-6 weeks’
Not many teams could have the calibre of those players out injured, yet still be just so damn good next test match up. Mongrels.
Shock Call. Nigel Defends Kiwis, Bear Also Spotted Defecating In Woods.
All Black #24, Nigel Owens has defended the call by Bez last week in ruling a penalty to the Kiwis late in the game with the Poms hard on attack and the clock about done. To be fair, it was a great call from the TMO, absolutely spot on and well officiated by all.
Nigel tells planetrugby.com he was in agreeance of the call. In what is also just a coincidence, the call kinda, maybe, possibly helped NZ win the test as well. Why does that sound so dang familiar? Hmmmm.
Until next week. Go the QPRQ Rebs and go the Wallabies.
Hoss out.
