Welcome one, welcome all to another Friday Rugby’s News and a finals Friday at that.
Without further adieu let’s get stuck into all things rugby and start with a look at St Joe’s choices for a training outfit in ‘The Odd Squad’. Visit up north and check out our upcoming opponent in ‘Wale Research’. Dive into the finals fixtures with the Chiefs v Reds in ‘Kiss Goodbye?’. Then the Canes v Rebels in ‘Dead Cat Bounce?’. Preview a fair belting in ‘Blue By You’. Head down to the ACT for ‘Where The Bloody Hell Are You?’ before kissing another rugby week goodbye with ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, the Black Label edition.
The Odd Squad.
Well, kind of. St Joe Schmidt has announced his first wider Wallaby training squad earlier this week, with a few eye raising and interesting selections, but, some interesting omissions.
Look, everybody knows that a wider training squad is exactly as the name suggests. A chance for a few fringies to stay sharp, fit and available. And besides, if this were an actual pointer to a Wallabies squad, we all know there’d be a stack more Tahs in it anyway. And just to surprise you all, there’re a few Tahs who’ve made the training group that had me scratching my head a wee bit as to how?
For mine the biggest omission isn’t The Funky Bunch, he did nothing at all to advance his 2023 Wallaby status this year, in fact, he regressed. But it’s the omission of Jed Holloway and Flanders Hanigan that raised my eyebrow. Holloway has been imperious at lineout and general play. Indeed a scan over Nutta’s excellent Team of The Tournament on Tuesday would reinforce that. Flanders, well he may’ve been the victim of both injury and his plans to chase French tarts up north next year (doesn’t his local bakery stock them?). But of all the Tahs forwards, these are the two who should be there, with Swinton not far behind them.
The training group is made up of:
Tahs: Dylan Pietsch, Tane Edmed, Charlie Gamble, Jake Gordon, Miles Amatosero, Langi Gleeson and Lalakai Foketi. Force: Kurtley Beale, Bayle Kuenzle, The Lip, Hamish Stewart, Ben Donaldson, Izack Rodda and Carlo Tizzano.
I am reliably informed that St Joe might have permission to pick an initial squad of 34, so that two teams of 17 can have at each other to decide final Wallaby spots.
You can get to know St Joe here.
Wales Research.
Speaking of easybeats, failed Super Rugby coach Warren Gatland and co have sifted through players from 6N cannon fodder Wales and named their training squad for the upcoming Aussie tests. The team consists of just three surnames: Griff, Rhys and Jones. Our northern correspondent, Eloise, points out it’s also the name of a really shitty Welsh folk version of Crosby, Stills & Nash.
Backs: Ellis Bevan, Gareth Davies, Kieran Hardy, Sam Costelow, Mason Grady, Ben Thomas, Nick Tompkins, Owen Watkin, Rio Dyer, Keelan Giles, Josh Hathaway, Liam Williams, Jacob Beetham, Cameron Winnett
Forwards: Corey Domachowski, Kemsley Mathias, Gareth Thomas, Elliot Dee, Dewi Lake, Evan Lloyd, Sam Parry, Keiron Assiratti, Archie Griffin, Dillon Lewis, Harri O’Connor, Henry Thomas, Ben Carter, Cory Hill, Dafydd Jenkins, Matthew Screech, Christ Tshiunza, Mackenzie Martin, Jac Morgan, Taine Plumtree, Tommy Reffell, Aaron Wainwright
I know, I know, they beat us at the cup, badly, but one must remember we had a psychotic, unhinged and deranged coach back then. So it’s us by lots in these two matches.
Kiss Goodbye?
Friday 7 June 5:05 PM AEST – Chiefs v Queensland Reds at FMG Stadium Waikato, Hamilton
What is it about Chiefs/Reds games that makes them so close, so entertaining and so good to watch? For mine, it’s they just want to play and play and play, and us punters are the winners. Talent and skill peppered across both sides. Cunning game managers, big forwards, skillful loosies aplenty, but only one of them has Fraser McReight and therein lies the rub.
I’ve said before and I’ll say again, the Reds are my second favourite Aussie side, and under new coach Wendy Matthews have added flair and daring do to the steel former coach The Padre instilled in them.
There’s plenty I’d love to see from this game: Finau finally getting cheesed as he’s deserved all year for late, no arm tackles. D-Mac getting nailed by a Reds loosie. Cortez Ratima also getting 10 in the bin for having a name like a Mexican venereal disease.
I am also an unabashed fan of Tom Lynagh. His demeanour is exactly the same as his ol’ man’s. Tough, unflustered, calm and determined and for me, he’s our long term gold #10 that we’ve craved since our last and possibly best ever #10, Spanners Foley.
As for the backs, I must admit, The Squatter has been a real revelation this year. We all knew he could hit hard in D, but he’s added nuance and subtlety to his game and he is a pretty complete player. He doesn’t miss in defence and creates space for all around him. St Joe has real options at 12 and 13 this season and won’t need to look OS, that’s for sure.
One things for certain, this won’t be a blow out game. Whichever it lands, I’d suggest the game will very much still be alive in the 80th minute. But, who’ll gets the chocolates?
Fearless Prediction: The Reds do. By 1. McReight to be MotM, just ahead of the stellar Liam Wright.
Referee: Ben O’Keeffe Assistant Referees: Stu Curran, Jackson Henshaw
Dead Cat Bounce?
Saturday 8 June 2:35 PM AEST – Hurricanes v Melbourne Rebels at SKY Stadium, Wellington
Yeah, not so much. As brave and as tough as the Rebels year has been, the table topping Hurricanes are going to do things to the Rebels that not even a randy drunken Kiwi shearer could dream up. Away from home, their future as a team decided and even the initial huff and puff out of the ‘consortium’ now little more than a wet fart from a toddler’s nappy, the Rebs year is done.
With players thinking about their next move, the Canes playing at home and at a pace and physicality the Rebs simply won’t match, this folks is going to get ugly. The Rebs won’t deserve the final result. They’ve hung tight, they’ve made their first finals ever. They’ve had adversity and challenge and shite shovelled at them since February this year. But, to quote the great man, Clint Eastwood growled: ‘deserves got nothin’ to do with it’.
Fearless Prediction: All over by halftime and when the fat lady sings, it will be the Canes by lots 40+.
Referee: James Doleman Assistant Referees: Jono Bredin, Fraser Hannon
Blue By You.
Saturday 8 June 5:05 PM AEST – Blues v Fijian Drua at Eden Park, Auckland
The Drua find themselves not at home this week and playing the side who hates being minor premiers, the Auckland Blues. One day the Drua are going to get a big scalp away from home, but this won’t be that day.
Fearless Prediction: Blues by 35.
Referee: Nic Berry Assistant Referees: Jordan Way, Reuben Keane
Where The Bloody Hell Are You?
Saturday 8 June 7:35 PM AEST – ACT Brumbies v Highlanders at GIO Stadium, Canberra
What does it take to get a crowd to an event in the ACT? Barnaby Joyce laying pissed on a footpath? Bruce Lehrmann shouting drinks at a pub? I know its a frozen wasteland, but come on Ken Berrans, your home side has finished third, they’re playing the Western Force of NZ, at home, with a chance to make the pointy end. Surely you can muster up a decent home crowd in support?
Anyhoo, the Brumbies look OKish, but will be tested in the front row with no Jimmy Slips or Blake Schoupp available for this one. And what used to be a weapon, their much vaunted scrum, over the last few weeks has been, well, a tad fragile. And going up against Ethan de Groot and Jermaine Ainsley won’t be no cake walk.
I’ve enjoyed the freedom the Brumbies backs have played with this year. They have pace, size and ability and seem to’ve been encouraged to express themselves. No longer are they just rolling maul exponents. You know, the very thing that makes you lose the will to live (maybe that’s why the crowds don’t turn up). Instead, they are a genuine attacking threat from anywhere.
Much like my comments above regarding The Squatter, you could cut and paste them for The Brumbies own John Denver, Mr Tom Wright. No more diamonds and stones, he’s bought a calmness and rugby maturity that I hoped existed, but rarely witnessed, to the fore. His pace, spatial awareness and new found ability and confidence to underplay his hand, has been a real revelation. So much so he must be front runner for the #15 jersey against Wales in July.
For all of the above, I actually think this will be close, real close. If the Ponies can get parity up front or not far off parity, they have better backs and should get home. But, if the Landers piggies barrel through the Ponies at set piece, then this folks could be a real boilover.
Fearless Prediction: Brumbies by 5, but the piggies must aim up.
Referee: Angus Gardner Assistant Referees: Damon Murphy, Matt Kellahan
Friday’s Goss with Hoss.
Charlie Horse.
News out of Canberra this week that another stolen Sydney talent, Charlie Cale, has been hoodwinked into staying in the frozen tundra a few years more. The Brumbies have announced the Oz SRP rookie of the year (you heard it here first), has re-signed until the end of 2025. I like this kid, he’s a real point of difference for the Ponies and quiet likely, the Wallabies as well.
Wells Far Go.
Former Brumbies, Tahs, Rebels and recent Force vice-captain, Michael Wells, has called time on his Super Rugby career after the Force last game of the regular season. Amassing an extremely impressive 111 games, Wells was a footballer’s footballer. One of those unsung heroes that just hooked in, got the job done and stood by his team mates.
Congratulations from all on G&GR, Mr Wells. Enjoy life post rugby and no matter how far you go, drop in and visit us mere mortals on these pages some time.
‘Sex Rully Sucks’
At least that’s what I think KARL said when I told him about this SMH article.
It seems the SR Commission favour a 19 week season for the 11 team competition in 2025. With each side having seven home games, one more than previous and each team having two bye rounds (a round that doesn’t identify as a binary round). The finals will see the top six make the play offs, with the top two placed sides having the first week of the finals off.
I like it.
Penney for your thoughts.
What’s worse than a board who fully supports a coach? A board who refuses to say if a coach will be back next season. It seems Rob Penney might be in a spot of bother with stuff.co.nz reporting: ‘Crusaders boss Colin Mansbridge refused to guarantee head coach Rob Penney will return to coach the team next year’. What’s the opposite of the ‘Midas Touch’ ?
Caitlyn Jenner auditions for Rugby.
Inbound Tah recruit, Joseph Sua’ali’i, made an impact for all the wrong reasons in this week’s first ‘Debate of Origin’ loig match, when he was sent from the field for a high tackle on some Coinsland player. Jenner became only the sixth player marched in the history of loig’s premier event. Falling well short though of the 17 sex offenders, 94 drink driving charges, 14 assaults occasioning bodily harm and 73 urinate in public place while inebriated charges. As well as the seven counts of import a commercial quantity of a prohibited substance charges, previously racked up by those participating in DOO campaigns.
The severe impact to the Coinslander’s head has apparently added 6 points to his IQ and straightened out his teeth as well. So not all bad then. Welcome aboard, Caitlyn.
Gonna hit some on sale mattress all night long.
The King, Michael Hooper, opened up on his lower back injury on STAN’s Between 2 Posts earlier in the week. And it appears lower back problem is indeed code for ‘tender testicles’, or what’s known in medical parlance as shagger’s back.
The solution to ending the pain and numb the plums? Buying a new bed at 3:00am in the morning on one of those 24 hour shopping networks. The King tells his story here at WWOS.
Until next week. Come on Aussies, come on.
Hoss – out.
